Apology mardel PG-13 Mature themes read at your own discretion He'd been thinking about it for weeks. He'd decided it was time to make his move. He prepared himself for the mission. Changing into black jeans and a snug black tee shirt. Then gathering together his tools, and grabbing his keys. The drive to the target was short. He'd made the trip often enough to not have to think about how to get there. He just knew. It was a warm night but still nice, a breeze blowing in off the ocean. He'd checked on his target's schedule that afternoon and was sure of his location. He parked the car and moved quietly towards the apartment building. Slipping in thru the back of the building and climbing the stairs. He moved to the stair well window and opened it, moving out onto the balcony. He swung a leg over the rail and climbed onto the ledge that ran the length of the third floor. He moved easily along the ledge, stopping at his target window. He peered inside and saw Bobby feet propped up on the coffee table, watching television. Darien owed him an apology, but Bobby had been avoiding him for almost two weeks. It didn't help that Darien was under orders to assist Alex with a case while Bobby was testifying in a court case from work they had done when Darien had first joined the agency. He'd left messages, tried to speak with him at work. Bobby just shut him down. Wouldn't listen to reason. Darien knew he'd messed up. He knew how fragile Bobby was regarding relationships. But Darien had been so upset when Arnaud had escaped. He'd blamed Claire, Eberts and even Bobby who hadn't even been in the building when it happened. When Bobby defended Claire. Darien had jumped in his face, calling him inept, crazy, dysfunctional and short. Not to mention a few things he couldn't even recall. At first Bobby had tried to calm him down, but Darien had just kept at it. He totally disregarded the respect they shared for each other. He ranted like a man completely out of control. Calling Claire a stupid bitch, Eberts useless and again attacking Bobby. Bobby took it, letting Darien vent his rage for several minutes. But when Darien still wouldn't listen, won't step back and think. Bobby manhandled him into the wall, pinning him with almost no effort. Darien was no match for his partner even when he was quicksilver mad. When he wasn't it wasn't even a contest. "Listen up hot shot, it was an accident. Arnaud is gone. Claire still has his notes from the computer, she can probably figure it out, but it will take a few days. I understand your anger, you had him and didn't kill him when you had the chance.But that's no reason to take it out on us." Bobby growled. "Do you remember when you were infected with the retro virus? You said that none of us cared? That's why this happened, none of you care that I'm going to die soon, because of this freaking gland!" Darien had yelled back, trying to push out of Bobby's hold on him. He succeeded to his surprise, but only because Bobby let him loose. Bobby had looked hurt at Darien's accusation, his face grew first sad, then turned dark closed down. "You can say that after everything that has happened between us?" Darien pushed out of his hold completely, not hearing the sorrow in Bobby's voice. But he'd hurt his partner with that statement. He'd treated Bobby just like everyone else in his life. Hitting him below the belt and accusing him of not caring. He knew better, he knew Bobby cared. Cared to much in fact, worried about him all the time. Checked up on him all the time, made trips by his place just to make sure Darien was safe. Put Darien's safety above his own everyday. All his attempts to apologize fell flat, Bobby just wouldn't listen to him. That was why Darien was hanging outside his partner's window now about to break in and risk his neck to get Bobby to listen to him. Darien slipped a special tool he'd used in his cat burglar days between the frame and the glass and unlocked the window. Then he attached the glass suction cups and lifted the window open he was inside and staring into Bobby's gun barrel two seconds later. "Fawkes are you trying to get shot again?" Bobby growled and continued to keep his gun pointed at him. "If that's what it's going to take to get you to listen to me then yes." Darien gave Bobby his sad eye look. "I just want to talk to you for a few minutes." "You broke into my place just so you could talk to me?" Bobby yelled. "You wouldn't listen to me at work, you wouldn't listen to me on the phone." Darien protested. Bobby uncocked his gun and returned it to the couch, between the cushions and the sidearm where he sometimes kept it. "Make it quick." Bobby said and turned the television off, and sat back on the couch. He took a swig of his beer and glared at his partner. Darien swallowed, and moved into the livingroom further. "I"m sorry for what I said, I had no right to say that about Claire or Eberts and especially not about you. I know you're not inept or crazy. I was just striking out wanting you to hurt as much as I did." "It worked." Bobby set the beer bottle down and fought to keep his current feelings hidden. "I know you care, you prove to me every time we go out on a case together that you care. I'm sorry." Darien sighed and hoped Bobby believed him. Bobby just sat there, his face hard to read. He was good at that when he wanted to be, not letting his emotions show. Darien moved to stand directly across from him. "Do you forgive me Partner?" Bobby glanced up at Darien, it had hurt when Darien had said he didn't care. It had hurt much more than it should have. And it wasn't only because they had a history together. Bobby had invested more than just a professional concern in his young partner. Sure it was his job to keep Darien alive and safe. But it also quickly had become his obsession. Just like it had with Viv. Darien waited, he knew Bobby was thinking and didn't want to push. He moved it sit in the chair beside the couch, his eyes still locked on Bobby. That was when something registered he'd not noticed before. Bobby was wearing only his shorts and a well worn sleeveless tee shirt. It was the least clothing Darien had ever seen his Partner wearing. Darien swallowed, details jumped out, the hard sculpted chest, the corded muscles of his arms, the tight flat abdomen. Darien had fought his attraction for Bobby off an on for the two years they had been partnered. Mostly because he'd decided there was absolutely no chance that Bobby swang both ways. But seeing him half naked now was bringing back the attraction. Darien had managed to hide his feelings from Bobby before. He hoped he could continue to. He was in enough trouble. "Fawkes I know you think it's hopeless, but Claire told me she will figure it out. It's just a matter of time." Bobby finally spoke. "I know she will, I just hope it will be soon enough." Darien nodded. "So are we buds again?" Darien looked hopeful. "That depends on a few things." Bobby sounded serious. He edged forward on the couch a little and looked hard at Darien. "Are you going to keep pushing me away?" "I don't know what you mean. I'm sorry for accusing you of stuff before." Darien repeated his statement. What was Bobby taking about? "I understand that you were mad, you said things you didn't mean. Okay." Bobby licked his lips and swallowed. "Then what did you mean just now?" Darien was suddenly very nervous. Afraid to believe he knew, afraid to believe it was possible. Afraid that this was some kind of strange payback for the pain he'd inflicted on Bobby. "I'm not stupid you know. I have noticed things, things you try to hide from everyone." Bobby started. Darien felt his heart stop, was Bobby about to tell him he knew? Was he about to out him and at the same time denounce him. Wanting nothing further to do with him. Please no, I can take anything but losing him now. I at least need his friendship. If I can't have his love, I at least need to have him in my life. "I suspected the signs I was picking up on were just my paranoia. But I checked into it. You have had male partners before." Bobby said, his voice dropping as he spoke growing deeper with each word. "Bobby listen I can explain." Darien tried to stop him. "I understand Fawkes, prison can change a man sometimes for the good sometimes not. Things happen, sometimes it's just survival." "It was that, but it wasn't just in prison Bobby I won't lie to you." Darien felt trapped, but he wasn't going to deny the truth. "I know it wasn't just in prision." Bobby dropped his gaze from Darien's face. He was coming to the part that hurt, the part that really kept him awake nights. He'd tried so hard to be there for Darien. To protect him, comfort him. Listen to his troubles, cheer him up when he was feeling lost. He'd even attempted to improve himself, so that he would be at least partially worthy of Darien. He'd dropped ten pounds started dressing a little more hip. Regained his old stamina, started training in another martial art, just to keep his body ready. Just once he thought Darien could have turn to him for more. Just once. But he never had. No Bobby Hobbes was good enough for his body guard but he wasn't good enough to share that body with. Darien had no idea what was coming he'd been sure it was disgust, but now the sorrow in Bobby's voice. The sadness in his eyes. What was wrong? "Bobby please just say it, if you hate me because I like men then just tell me." Darien begged. "You wouldn't be the first." "I don't hate you, I've tried to, but I can't." Bobby wouldn't look at him. His voice gone quiet and soft. His eyes were full of tears, but they were for himself. His hopeless, foolish desire for his partner. He should have known better than to fall for Fawkes. But he couldn't help himself, so much perfection all in one package. Working side by side day after day it was impossible to fight off his feelings. "You've tried to hate me?" Darien was totally lost now. "Why?" "Because I knew you'd never turn to me. I'm cursed. I only hurt the people I care for. I'm damaged to much to deserve...." Bobby trailed off as Darien dropped to his knees infront of him. "You're not damaged Bobby, don't ever let me hear you say that again." Darien was insistant. He wasn't about to sit and listen to Bobby put himself down. "I am, I'm the cause of pain to everyone that ever cared about me." "I care about you man, and I hurt you, you didn't hurt me." Darien reminded him. Bobby swallowed and looked into Darien's eyes again. They were only inches apart, two sets of dark eyes boring into each other. "What you said hurt me yeah, but what you didn't do hurt more." "What I didn't do?" Darien was lost again. He replayed all of Bobby's words the last few minutes. Wait had he said that? Was Bobby saying that he wanted Darien's attentions and was hurt Darien had never asked? Was it that simple? Bobby was hurt because he wanted his partner's attention and hadn't gotten it? Darien's heart started beating again, he knew. It was that simple. He exhaled the breath he'd been holding. "Bobby do you accept my apology?" "Yeah." "I am I getting this right, you want me to come to you when I feel lonely?" "Yeah." "You want me... I mean you want me to depend on you for everything?" "Only if that's what you feel." Bobby half smiled, thinking Darien was saying just that. "I'm very demanding that way, I have to get my own way most of the time." Darien warned, grinning. "Well that will depend on what it is you're demanding won't it?" Bobby suddenly was sounding like himself again the voice deep, almost a growl. "I'll be demanding your attention, compleat and undivided attention." Darien said then leaned forward placing a passion filled kiss on Bobby's mouth. Bobby responded, opening his mouth to taste his parnter for the first time. Hands touched, stroked, explored as the kiss continued. Fianlly when they both needed a breath of air. They broke apart, eyes locked together again. "You've had that since day one, my friend." end