A Simple Job. Rating: PG13 Author:suzyh Disclaimer: I still don't own them, yadda yadda. Annie is mine. "It's a simple job Hobbes, go in, take the files, get out." "Um, take sir?" "Borrow then, whatever you're more comfortable with." Bobby nodded, and stood up. The Official looked at Darien. "Fawkes? I expect nothing but your best on this one. Don't get caught." Darien gave a mock salute and shuffled out with his partner. Bobby stopped by Annie's desk. "So? You catch this mornings installment?" Annie nodded eagerly. " Oh yes. Drama at it's best." Darien looked puzzled, " Did I miss something?" "You were asleep Rip Van Winkle. Needless to say you missed great television." Bobby grinned then shook his head. " I never thought for one minute they would actually break up." Darien held up his hand. "Who?" "Bert and Ernie." said Annie and Bobby together. Darien rolled his eyes and sighed. "Okay, I know I'm not going to be able to sleep until one of you tells me." Bobby indicated for Annie to go ahead. She perched on her desk and gestured for Darien to sit down. Bobby leaned against a filing cabinet and folded his arms. Annie began her story. "Well, it all started when Ernie ate some cookies in the bed. Bert got totally crazed and they had this really big fight, so Ernie packed a bag and left." Darien kept a straight face. "Did he pack his rubber duckie?" Annie nodded, completely unaware of the sarcasm. Bobby smirked. Annie continued. "So, you can imagine, Bert's missing Ernie and Ernie's missing Bert. I'm telling you Darien it was a mess." "What happened?" Darien struggled not to laugh. "Thank god for Kermit, he talked to the guys, you know, got them to thrash things out and finally Ernie moved back in." "Ahh, Kermit, always the voice of reason." Annie slapped Darien on the arm. "It was tense, I really thought those two wouldn't make it." "Well, as much as I'd love to discuss the finer points of two puppets love lives, I need a shot so I'll be in the keep with the adults." Darien gracefully rose from the chair and walked off. Annie pulled a face at his back. Bobby came around her other side. "He has no idea about good television. Neither has Claire, do you know she called me immature?" "No. Really?" "I'm telling ya, no taste, either of them." Annie nodded in agreement, they exchanged a sympathetic look and went their seperate ways. "Bert to Ernie, come in?" "Funny Fawkes, use the proper code names." "I like these ones." "How come you get to be Bert?" "Cos I've got the hair pal." "Alright, how far are you from the location?" "Almost there, bingo!" The door swung open and Darien appeared grinning. Bobby hustled him inside, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. Rows upon rows of filing cabinets loomed in front of them. Darien grimaced. "Maybe we should have brought Eberts." Bobby pulled a face and looked around cautiously. Something wasn't sitting quite right about the whole setup. Fawkes had got in too easily and the security was laughable. Bobby's trouble radar started bleeping in his head. "Watch yourself partner, something ain't right here." The two men moved around the cabinets following the lines alphabetically. They finally got to the correct row and counted along until they found what they were looking for. Bobby was still uneasy. Chrysalis would not have security this lax around it's files. Darien however, was more intent in getting the file and going home. A loud click was heard as he opened the drawer. "Stop, don't pull it open anymore." Bobby hissed. Darien froze, while Hobbes inspected the cabinet. "Goddammit! It's a pressure switch. Fawkes, hold still, if you move a muscle the whole place will go up." "Umm, Bobby? I hate to tell you this but I really need the bathroom." Darien looked frantically about him as Bobby disappeared. He came back muttering something about simple jobs. Fawkes stared at him wide eyed. "You can fix this right?" Bobby shook his head. Darien groaned and closed his eyes, he opened them as soon as he realised what this meant. "How long to I have to stand here?" Bobby didn't answer just flipped open his phone. He flipped it shut almost as fast. "What?" said Darien. "The signal might set it off. Fawkes? I need to switch the phones off." Bobby reached into Fawkes pocket to get his phone. "Whoa there Ernie! That's Annie's job." Darien tried not to wriggle. Finally, Bobby found the cell and turned it off. He sat on the floor and tried to think. Several solutions popped into his head but were discounted as all of them entailed Darien being blown up. Half an hour ticked by and Darien's arms were starting to go numb and he really needed to pee. Inspiration hit him. "Bobby? Why don't I quicksilver the area and we make a break for it?" "How long would that give us?" "About a minute." Bobby considered the distance between them and the door. Hmmm. Interesting idea, he stood up. It was worth a go, after all, he hadn't come up with anything better. "Alright Fawkes, give the signal." "On three. Okay?" Bobby nodded. Darien took a deep breath. "One, Two, THREE." Darien let the quicksilver flow over the cabinet and let go, immediately the two men ran for the door. They heard the faint tinkle of the quicksilver dissolving when they were half way there. "Aww Crap!" They said together as the bomb exploded. Fear made the quicksilver flow on Darien almost at once, he quickly held on to Bobby allowing the substance to coat him as well. They were blown off their feet and through the door which they had almost reached. Darien hit the ground and knocked himself out while Bobby ended up nearly on top of Golda. When Darien came round, fire trucks and ambulances were all around. He winced, his leg felt like it was burning and he had the biggest headache that had nothing to do with madness. A face came into view and did something to his leg which caused him to pass out again. Annie hurried along to Darien's room. She peeped round the corner to see her husband trying to work the television. His leg was in plaster and raised slightly. She smiled. She had just seen Bobby who had fractured some ribs and had bumps and really big bruises. Annie thanked the gland silently. They had survived major burns thanks to the quicksilver. Darien gave up with the television and saw her standing there. "Hey, you. Come on in and pamper me." Annie stuck out her tongue and sat next to him. She leaned over and gave him a little kiss. Darien tried to grab her to get more but she moved away. "No Fair, I'm injured you know." Darien gave her his best wounded expression. Annie giggled. "All the more reason to behave yourself. Oh, before I forget, Bobby asked me to give you this. It's from his private collection, we've arranged for a VCR for you, he says he'll be here later to watch it with you." Darien looked at the video tape with interest. He wondered what that hound had sent him. Annie gave him an amused glance. She couldn't wait to see his face when he saw what it was. Three hours later, Annie and Claire returned from the canteen. Bobby had joined Darien and they had put the video on. Nicole gurgled loudly on Bobby's lap, while Darien had a look of pure horror on his face. He saw the women and struggled to sit up. "Claire? Annie, sweetheart? Help me. I can't take any more." Claire gathered up Nicole ignoring her protests at being taken away from her Daddy. "I'm off home. Behave you two." She bent down and kissed Bobby who slapped her backside as she left. Annie sat next to Darien, her attention on the screen. Darien made a whimpering noise which Annie and Bobby shushed. "What did I miss?" "Well, Oscar was pretty mean to Big Bird, I thought they were gonna get physical." "He's so much like the Official." "Big Bird?" " No, Oscar silly." "Hmmm. OH, look, The Count. He's so cool." Darien sank as far as he could into the bed and put his radio headset on, while Annie and Bobby kicked back and enjoyed their favourite show. The End.