Being Practical. Rating:R m/m slash implied. Author: suzyh Disclaimer: I don't own the boys, I'm making no money. I'm lying in bed watching him. It's been a week since he almost died and he came home yesterday. I take in his pale face and the troubled expression even in sleep. He gave his usual, "I'm Bobby Hobbes" speech for the Keeper and anyone else who would listen but I know him better. Bobby's brush with his own mortality has left him shaken and unsure. He shifts and rolls over so he faces me. I scan his face for the millionth time and suddenly forget to breathe. He's perfect, everything I ever wanted and then some. Paranoid, loyal, sometimes completely unreasonable and sexy as hell. Two brown eyes flick open. I smile, Bobby smiles softly back. We smile at each other like a couple of idiots for a few minutes before he rolls onto his back. I wait, I know there's a question coming. "How close did I come kid?" The softly spoken question drifts out of his mouth. I debate lying to him but Bobby can smell one of my lies a mile off, so I opt for the truth. "You checked out for about a minute partner before Micheals brought you back." Bobby's silent. He gazes up at the ceiling as if counting the cracks there. I bite my lip and try not to cry. I hate talking even thinking about what happened, it makes me feel sick at how close I came to losing him. A small sigh escapes his mouth and he turns back to me. "Promise me that if I go first you'll move on, find someone new, never think about me." I look at him in horror. My heart feels like it's squeezing the life from my body. Images of him on that bed with the monitor screaming flash through my head and I cover my ears to drown out the sound. I scramble out of bed, falling over Blue but not caring, losing Bobby is something I never want to deal with, I've lost too many people in my life for him to become a member of that club. Without looking back I practically run out the room and find myself in the kitchen taking deep breaths and trying not to throw up. A strong hand rubs my back, then light kisses begin to trail where his hands have been. I relax slightly, enjoying the feel of his body heat near me and his smell. "We have to be practical Darien, neither of us is going to live forever." I tense up again at his words. I shake my head like a stubborn child. When it comes to this subject I never want to be practical, let alone talk about it. Bobby sighs again, a long sad sigh and I know he wants to pursue the subject. I straighten up and look him straight in the eye. "Okay, you want to be practical? I can't Bobby I'm sorry. I saw you lying on a bed for all intent and purposes dead, it's an image I will never forget and a hurt I never want to remember. I'll never love anyone but you. Don't you get it? The day you die is the day Darien Fawkes dies too." Bobby's eyes go soft and slighty wet. Silence fills the room again, I start to shake, all the emotion of the past week catching up with me. I know I should be comforting Bobby, holding him and reasurring him but when it comes down to it, I'm the one who needs the comfort. Fortunately, Bobby is the type of person you can rely on. Strong arms engulf me and lead us to the couch. I curl up like a baby and let go of my emotions. I must of cried for an hour straight before Bobby pulled away gently. His eyes are red and full of a look I've never seen before. I've seen lust, anger and crosseyed drunkiness in those eyes but not this look. Bobby sniffs. "I love you Darien." Our eyes meet again. This time, when I see this look I know it for what it is. Love. Pure, unashamed, love. A huge lump appears in my throat. For once, I'm at a loss for words, completely speechless. Bobby strokes my face. "Wanna move in for good?" I nod. Bobby smiles, unphased by my lack of speech. Frantically, I try to form a sentence, to let him know that I love him too, that his proposal has made me the happiest invisible man I know, but all I manage is a little croak. "Bobby? I uh.." Again with that smile. Shit, Bobby knows what I'm trying to say, I take a breath and transfer all my feelings into my eyes. Bobby leans foward and touches his head to mine. We sit there for an eternity before my neck starts to cramp. I pull away reluctantly and take his hand. We walk back to the bedroom slowly. I quickly plan where all my stuff will go including my rat. For the first time in two years I feel free, confident that whatever happened, Bobby would be there for me and I him. We curl up together, I put my head on Bobby's chest, listening for the steady heartbeat that had stopped that horrible day. I shake myself mentally. Bobby's arms tighten around me and I just know he's thinking the same thing. A sigh, this time from me. "Love you Bobby." A kiss is dropped on my head and I feel him relax. I smile for the first time in a week and snuggle in, ready for sleep. The End.