Marianne can enjoy a long hot bath with pleasant smelling soap, she can enjoy having lotion rubbed onto her body, she has, in the past, enjoyed the feel of her own hair sliding across her bare shoulders as she turns her head to glance out of the window. She can enjoy the feeling of wearing soft, silky, lingerie underneath her every-day clothes, and enjoy the mental side of it being there and not showing.

Marianne can enjoy the decadence of wearing something designed to attract, to show off and flatter her body. Marianne is very much into touching and being touched. The external me, well, I can hold hands with my wife in public, and I can shake hands with, or sometimes even hug my family and friends, but I can't hold hands with anyone else, nor can I greet casual acquaintences with a kiss on the cheek. I'm always conscious that if I pay someone a compliment, especially a really nice compliment, that it can be taken the wrong way. As Marianne, I could get away with it.

As Marianne, I take part in internet based gender support chats, well away from those hordes of predatory teenage boys that descend like a swarm of locusts on anyone who appears on-line with a female handle. As Marianne there, I can pay compliments, I can chat to others about topics that don't fit the external me. And usually, as Marianne, chatting there, I'm not dressed. I don't need to be. Neither does Marianne participate in cyber-sex, although the external me has done so. As a matter of fact, the gender support chats are why Marianne took a name in the first place, after all, the other folks had to have something other than "Hey you" to call me by.

Some of you are probably wondering when I'm going to get to the pictures. Sorry, there aren't any here. I have lots available, but haven't been able to embed them in the webd pages here yet.

What I did do tho, was to grab some Anime pictures and embed them later on, just to give you a feel for how I feel, rather than how I look. How I actually look is irrelevant. I don't consider myself to look attractive, but some folks tell me differently. I've been using this form of communication for twenty years or more, and have made a lot of good friends in that time. If you've read this far already then you probably already understand that aspect of this medium. If you don't, then this isn't the place to explain it.




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mariannef@oocities.com