What a difference....
Just a few years ago, I was there. Many people who would observe me considered me a "good person," a "goody two-shoes" to be exact, and I was often known for my smile. Having such a "good" reputation made me feel constricted, because I didn't want to let people down. The truth was, no matter how good my life seemed, some detail, even the mundane, would make me unhappy. I felt like I was missing something, and I knew deep down that no matter what changed or what I accomplished, I wouldn't be happy. I thought that relationships w/other people, especially guys, would make me feel better. It didn't work, and I found myself engaging in potentially destructive behaviors that I had never thought I'd do. So about four years ago, I ran away from my problems by moving to Ohio for school. I was thinking that I could get away from everything that made me dissatisfied and every issue that haunted me, and I figured that I would start over, get away from my reputation, and gain freedom. A certain Someone had other plans. About a week into my first quarter in college, Jesus Christ got me, and I accepted Him. I found that having that personal relationship with Jesus was the missing link, the key to being content with my life. I finally began to experience true joy and true freedom. Since then, I have had struggles with this transition to adulthood, as well as my own personal ghosts and issues. Some of these ghosts began to rear their ugly heads, and compromised the relationships I had with people I met since starting college. I realized the hard way that running away from my problems only made them worse, and as painful as it was, I would have to face them. Since I allowed God to help me to face my issues God has been processing them out, and although it has been a more difficult process than I first thought, with Him I am enduring and becoming a better person for it. Even with this, I am content with my life. I am not saying that everything is perfectly in place, or that problems don't pop up. I am saying that I feel secure with myself and in my current position in life. I do not have to face trouble alone, I face it with a God who cares and is powerful enough to change my circumstances and show me His purposes through my circumstances. If you're at the point where you feel that your life is missing something, or that no matter what happens, you're still unhappy, at least look into Christianity and Jesus Christ. I am not into shoving "religion" down people's throats, but I do know by experience that God exists, he is all-Powerful, and he does love each and every one of us, and wants to have a personal relationship with us. If you have any questions or comments, my email is at the bottom of the page, my email is also my AIM screenname, and if you know me personally you can also give me a call or talk to me if you see me. |