Dead baby jokes originated in the Epic of Gilgamesh back in ancient Sumeria.. some humorless fucks mistranslated 'em tho. They're a time-honored celebration of sick bastardry! Why did the dead baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you stab an infant in the forehead with scissors? An erection. What's silver and red and bumps into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in a microwave. What do you get when you throw a dead baby off a building? An erection. What is 18 inches long, stiff and makes women scream at night? Crib death. I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in my cellar What's bad? A barrel full of dead babies. What's worse than that? A live one at the bottom. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? Once he gets out, he goes back for seconds. how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? nail his OTHER hand to the ground. how many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby? I wouldn't fuck a rock. how do you make a dead baby float? add ice cream and root beer Why did the baby drop its rattle? Because it got ran over by a truck. What's the best way to put a baby in a blender? Feet first... you gotta hear the screams. how do you make a baby drink? stick it in a blender What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage. what's the difference between a baby and an apple? I don't come all over the apple before I take a bite out of it. how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? the police report indicates 3 What's pink and red and can't turn in a corridor? A baby with a spear through its head. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? If the girl has to chew, before she swallows. What's the difference between a dead baby and a turkey? I didn't have a turkey for Thanksgiving. what's funnier than a dead baby? dead baby in a clown suit. what do you get when you slide a 6 inch knife into a 19 inch baby? 25 to life. What do you call a black man who goes to medical school? A cadaver. Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape. what's peach, red, and gurgles? a baby choking on a razor. what's peach, red, and green? the same baby 3 weeks later. What is blue and moves in the corner? A baby in a plastic bag. What is green and fuzzy and sits in the corner? Same baby 2 weeks later. Q: How do you get 100 babies in a bin? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out again? A: Doritos. I wanked over a blind girl yesterday. She never saw me coming. What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until you're 13 before coming on your face. Why is the bible like a penis? You get it forced down your throat by a priest. What sound does a baby make in the microwave? I'm not sure I was too busy masturbating at the time. What's the worst thing about having sex with 8 year olds? Getting blood on your clown suit. Q: What's the most confusing holiday in the getto? A: Father's Day how do you get 10 nigras in a volkswagen beetle? a welfare check and how do you get them out? a job application What's black and white and red all over? An inner city nursary after a drive-by I like my women like I like my meat. Ground up and stuffed in a freezer. How is a black man like a broken gun? They don't work and you can't fire them. What's the worst part about fucking twenty-seven year olds? Getting through all twenty of them. what war was cookie monster a part of? Vietnam nam nam nam nam nam nam nam nam nam How many black men does it take to roof a house?? A: One, if you know how to cut him just right. how do you stop a nigger from jumping on the bed? put velcro on the ceiling Two guys walk into a bar, so I raped them. what's the difference between a large pizza and a nigger? a pizza is welcome in your house and can feed a family of four. what's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? the snow tires don't sing when you throw chains on them. Why shouldn't a mexican and a black fuck? Cos if they breed, their baby would be too lazy to steal Q: What's long, brown and smells bad? A: The unemployment line. what do you call a mexican with 20 Arms? employee of the month What's the hardest part of eatting a vegetable? Getting them out of the wheelchair. Q: What has one arm and four legs? A: A pit bull in kindergarten.' Q: What's the difference between a prostitute and an onion? A: You cry when you cut an onion. Q: What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A: You can punch information into a computer. Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline What's more fun than swining a dead baby on a clothsline? Stopping it with a shovel. What do five black guys call a white guy? Coach. What do ten black guys call a white guy? Quarterback. What do a hundred black guys call a white guy? Warden. Q: Why are nigras getting stronger? A: TVs are getting bigger. Q. How can you tell your wife is dead? A. The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up! Q. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Trick question feminists can't change anything. What's black and white and red, and can't turn around in a phonebooth? A nun with a spear through her head. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist fuck! Whats the difference between a fag and a refridgerator? Fridges don't fart when you pull your meat out Which is worse, finding blood in your stool or finding stool in your blood? Whats long and hard for a black person? The first grade. what do pink floyd and dale earnhardt have in common? their last big hit was the wall Q:What word do you never want to call a black person that starts with an "n" and ends with a "r"? A:Neighbor. Q: Why did the black kid with diarrhea start crying? A: He thought he was melting! Jesus walks into a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?" Q: Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A: It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus Why can't Chinese people have white kids? Two wongs don't make a white. What do you call a Mexican being baptized? Bean Dip Q.Why aren't there any Wal*Marts in Afghanistan? A.Because there's a Target on every corner! Q.What do you call a peice of sandpaper in Afghanistan? A. A map Q. Whats the object of Jewish football? A. To get the quarter back. Q:What's the difference between a dead dog in the street and a dead emo kid in the street? A: There's braking marks in front of the dead dog. Q: How do you make a retard commit suicide? A: Put a knife in his hand and ask him who's special. What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken Q: what's the worst part about eating out your grandmother? A: you keep bumping your head on the coffin lid. What is 6.9? A great thing screwed up by a period. A little boy and a pedophile were walking through the woods one night.. The boy looked around and said "Wow.. this place is scary when its dark" The pedophile said "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone." a priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see a 10 year old boy the priest says to the rabbi "lest's screw him" and the rabbi says "outta what?" A man driving down the road sees a young boy, bruised and crying at the side of the road. He pulles over and asks the boy what happened. The boy replies: "My Mum and Dad and I were driving to our grandmothers funeral, when my Dad swerved to miss a deer. He lost control of the car and we were heading towards a cliff. Before the car went over the edge my dad grabbed me and threw me out the sunroof. when i landed on the road i could see my mum and my dad trapped in the car as it drove off the cliff. Now I'm alone, everyone I love is dead, I'm badly hurt and I've got nowhere to go." The man paused for a moment, undid his belt buckle and said "Well, it's just not your lucky day today is it boy?" A couple are going out for a night on the town. They’re all dolled up, ready to go; the lights left on, the dog put out. But just as the taxi arrives and they step out of the house, the dog darts back inside and won’t come out. They don’t want to leave the dog inside, so the husband goes upstairs to find it, while the wife goes to wait in the taxi. Not wanting it known that the house will be empty, she explains to the driver that her husband had just gone “to say good-bye to my mother”. A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” he says. “Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat-hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the backyard! She’d better not shit in the vegetable garden again!”. The silence in the cab was deafening. A man driving a box truck full of black bowling balls for delivery happens upon two negroes on the side of the highway next to a broken down motorcycle. The nice man stops and offers them a lift, but the negroes say, "Well, you would have to take our bike too. We can't leave it sitting on the side of the highway or it could easily get stolen." So the three men put the motorcycle in the back of the truck among the bowling balls and the two black gentlemen ride in the box with it. Shortly afterward, the truck is pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. The officer and the driver go through the standard motions, and as with the standard course of action for writing a ticket, "I have to take a look in the back of your truck," the officer says. The driver says that it's fine and unlocks the back. The officer takes one look inside and his jaw drops and his eyes nearly pop out of his head before he slams the gate shut and runs back to his patrol car. "Officer needs assistance! Send backup immediately! I need as much backup as you can get!" he barks across the radio. "What's the matter? Officer, why do you need backup?" came the response. "I just pulled over a truck full of nigger eggs, two of them hatched, and they already stole a motorcycle!" Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday. Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left. Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100." "Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust." A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following; "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend howa ta spella Mississippi." There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..." "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles. There is a golfer who goes to his country club to play a round. He goes up to the front desk and asks for a tee time and a cart. The desk worker replies I am sorry sir, but we do not have carts anymore…we have replaced them with robots. Astonished, and a little pissed off the golfer says fine whatever just give me a damn robot. So he takes the robot and begins his round. When he gets to about the 5th hole he tells the robot to give him his seven iron. The robot replies negative, you should use a six iron. At this point an argument begins which lasts about five minutes. He says look robot I have been a golfer for over 30 years. I think I know what club to use…give me the damn seven iron. The robot refuses over and over. Finally he asks for the six iron and the robot gives it to him. He takes it still muttering under his breath, and lines up his shot and smacks the shit out of the ball. It bounces once and then goes in the hole. The golfer is pumped. He goes on to play the best round of his life with the robots help. The next week he comes in and asks the desk worker for a tee time and a robot. The desk worker says I am sorry we had to get rid of the robots. The golfer obviously irritated asks why? I played the best round of my life last week. The clerk stated that the robots shiny metal bodies were interfering with other golfers games. The golfer said that is silly why didn’t you just paint them black? The desk worker replied we already tried that sir, and the next day we caught five of them stealing from us and the rest didn’t show up to work. For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the civilian work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes. Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked, while a beautiful, big-breasted nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis. They were told that anyone whose bell rang when the nude model danced in front of them would not be ordained, because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground. Embarrassed, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell... Then all the other bells started to ring. Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if Anyone would like him to play a request. A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row And shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord . Amazed that this guy knows about Stevie's varied career, the Blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord". A bit pissed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise. The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play A jazz chord". Well and truly pissed off that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart ass. You get up here and do it !" The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the Mike and starts to sing . " A jazz chord to say I ruv you ." St Peter decides to take the day off to go fishing, so Jesus offers to keep an eye on the Pearly Gates. He is not sure what to do, so Peter tells him to find out a bit about people as they arrive in Heaven, and this will help him decide if he can let them in. After a while, Jesus sees a little old man with white hair approaching who looks very, very familiar. He asks the old man to tell him about himself. The old man says, "I had a very sad life. I was a carpenter and had a son who I lost at a relatively young age, and although he was not my natural child, I loved him dearly." Jesus welled up with emotion. He threw his arms around the old man and cried, "Daddy!" The old man replied, "Pinocchio?" How do you get a man of African-American decent out of a tree? Say please. what did the slave owner say to one of his slaves after he collaped? Why you look tired here have this water and get some rest i wouldnt want you getting hurt 2 atoms don't walk into a bar and don't speak to each other, because they are microscopic particles with no mental capacity. What's white and can't climb trees? A refridgerator Whats the difference between a white person and a black guy? The melanin concentration in their skins. what's black and laughs? A snigger How do you blindfold a man of chinese origin? Dental floss. What is jewish kid doing on a swing? Pissing off the sniper. whats a jew's biggest dilemma? free pork Whats the only thing positive about black people? HIV what does a tornado and a nigger have in common? in only takes one to ruin a neighborhood. What's the difference between Heath Ledger and Heath Ledger jokes? Heath Ledger jokes will get old. whats the difference between a nigger and some dog shit? the dog shit will eventually turn white and stop stinking How long does it take a nigger to take a shit? Nine months. What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them is really fun to hit with a giant hammer, and the other is a watermelon. A man is in Ireland out in the country and walks into the local pub and sees a man sitting in the corner by himself with over 9000 tims as many beer bottle around him and looking unhappy. The man decides to walk over and ask "what's a matter friend?" The man replies "why do you ask sonny?" "Well it just seems that whenever the people around here start drinking they get really happy and rowdy, but you look like the world just took a dump on you." The man says " Well, if ya really want to hear it i'll tell ya" "of course i'd like to hear what you have to say." " did you see that barn out there?" "yes I did" "you see I built that barn, i went to the woods chopped the trees, made the planks and built that barn." "wow that's impressive sir" "yes it is, would you think the people around here would call me the barn builder? Nay! Did you feel how sturdy that bridge out there was when you crossed to get to this tavern 'ere?" "Incredibly sturdy sir." "You see i built that bridge with my own over 9000 hands, i went to the woods and chopped the wood, made the planks and built that bridge, do you think they would call me the the bridge builder? Nay of course not. you see these here stools we be sittin' on?" "Yes sir, and well crafted if I may add" "I built these stools with my own over 9000 hands for me brother who owns this 'ere tavern, do you think they would call me the the barstool builder? Nay! Of course not. But ya Fuck 1 sheep." Why are there no mexicans winning olympic rewards? Cuz any mexican that can swim, jump or run is already in the US whats white but has a black asshole? The A Team. What's the difference between a jew & a canoe? A canoe tips. what word starts with a 'N' and ends with a 'R' that you don't want to call a black man? NEIGHBOR! there's a priest and jew driving in a car and they see a five year old boy. the priest leans over and says "hey... you wanna go screw that little kid?" and the jew says, "yeah... out of what? You remember that black guy from the Jetsons? ...isn't the future wonderful? how does a black woman know shes pregnant? she sticks a banana in her cunt. comes out half eaten, theres another monkey on the way. What is the similarity with Nike and KKK? -they both make niggers run fast How do you make a nigger nervous? -take him with you to an auction What does the pedo jew say to children on the street? -do you want to buy some candy? Knock Knock Who's There? Niggers Niggers Who? Niggers what do you call a midget nigger in Ireland A lepracoon What do you get when you poke a baby with a machete? An erection. whats the difference between a hockey goalie and a black girl? a hockey goalie showers after 3 periods. Q. How do you re-fit an old whore? A. Shove a five pound ham up her pussy and pull out the bone. A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his Way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for Awhile, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it Only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?' The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.' Q: What's blonde, had six legs and runs through Michael Jacksons dreams? A: Hanson. What's the American Dream? All the blacks swimming back to Africa with a Jew in each arm. Q: How many police officers does it take to kick a nigger down a flight of stairs? A: None, he fell. A boy is fishing with his grandfather. the grandfather gets a beer out and starts drinking. the boy asks "can i have one?" the grandfather asks "does your dick touch your ass?" the boy says no and the grandfather says "when your dick touches your ass you can have one." Later that day the boy is eating Oreos. the grandfather asks if he can have one, the boy responds by asking if his grandfathers dick touches his ass. the grandfather says of course. the boy then says "then go fuck yourself grandpa these are my Oreos!" A black man takes a white girl home from the club, and she invites him in. When they get inside she looks at him and says, "Show me that what they say about black men is true!" So he says, "Ok, if you insist", then stabbed her and stole her purse. A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long. What's the difference between a scottish wedding and a scottish funeral? one less drunk at the funeral What’s the difference between a Hoover and a Harley? The position of the dirt bag Q: Why is the African-American cable network called BET? A: Because TNN was already taken. what's irish and sits in the backyard? paddy o'furniture Why couldn't Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles read? They're niggers. What do you call an epileptic in an oven? Shake and Bake. what has 312 teeth and guards a giant? my zipper. Why Wasn't Christ Born In Mexico? Because They Couldn't Find Three Wise Men And A Virgin. What's blue and fucks babies? Me in my blue suit. Whats funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume. Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline. What's grosser than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees How do you stop a baby tied to a ceiling fan? With a shovel What's the worst thing about having sex with a baby? Having to wash the blood off your clown costume. How many 5 year olds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, ill be doing all the screwing whats the hardest part of being a pedo? fitting in. When does Michael Jackson know when it is time to go to bed? When the little hand is touching the big hand.... Q:What do Michael Jackson and Mc Donalds have in common? A:They both stick 50 year old meat between 2 ten year old buns Pedophiles are like the tortoise.They want to get there before the hare does. What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? My dick while I'm doing it. Why do Pedophiles love halloween? Free Delivery. If its old enough to count, its old enough to mount. What do Jesus and a corn dog have in common? They're battered and placed on a stick. whats burned to a crisp and sits at the top of the stairs? christopher reeves in a house fire How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave? Poke holes in it with a coat hanger. how does a nigger know if she's pregnant? when she pulls her tampon out, all of the cotton has been picked! Why is PMS called PMS? ~because "mad cow disease" was already taken What do you call the useless lump of skin surrounding the VAGINA? ..... a woman A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says Show me it's true what they say about black men. So he stabs her & nicks her purse. When Barack Obama was giving his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass. I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone. Just finished watching Obama's Inauguration, and was suprised to see hardly any white people there. But then again they were probably all working. Why can't beaners play Uno? They take all the green cards. What did the injured cats say to each other? Me-ouch. There was a brief moment of silence, in which the sheer shittiness of the joke settled in. No-one in the room could believe a jest that abborent could be spawned on our fair earth. It felt as if claws of stupidity were tearing at my mind. Suddenly, the girl behind me commited suicide on the spot. Full scale riots broke out over the tri-state area, with murders, lootings, and rape. Cries of "How could that punchline be so horrible? What god would allow this?" could be heard as people lept from rooftops. The Me-owch riots had begun. The area had to be carpet-bombed by the Air force in order to quell the riots and make sure no traces of the horrid humor escaped the infected area. The entire state of New York was quarantined, and everything we ever held dear was either bombed or destroyed by the insipid setup and punchline. A little girl next to me said she believed things couldn't possibly get worse. When her brother heard the joke, he ate their mother, burned down their house and killed himself. Suddenly, the sounds of a million infants shrieking pierced the air. A hundred armed demon with a thousand unprenoucable names rose from a fissure in the earth. "I have been summoned to your meager plane from the horror of the unspeakable humor. I Gorros*lejldkrakish'urtszar, the abberation who was never meant to be, shall now devour the universe."spoke the horror with it's three-hundred maws. "Good going." I said to the boy, who had miraculously survived up to this point. "How was I suppossed to know the joke would summon a nameless horror from the beginning of time?" "Me-owch?!" I shouted, rage in my voice. "What good did you possibly believe could come of that!" Gorros*lejldkrakish'urtszar devoured the universe and shat it out as a cosmic dung pile. The end. The moral of this story is to not use jokes from shitty juvenile jokebooks. How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Usually one, provided he can reach the fixture and has a fresh bulb. Two niggers fall off a cliff, who hits first? Who cares? A young man is looking for hentai on the internet when he finds a popular imageboard. His life is ruined forever. whats funnier than a dead baby , a dead baby in a clown costume whats funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume a dead baby in a clown costume next to a mexican with down syndrome with no hands trying to solve a rubix cube Why were the victims of 9/11 angry? -They ordered a pepperoni and they got a plane. I once visited a crematorium that gave a discount to burn victims.