October 18, 2000
Candyman 3: Day of the Dead
1999, Directed by Turi Meyer
Starring: Donna D'Errico (yum yum) as Caroline, Nick Corri as David,
and Tony Todd as the Candyman
J-Rock's Review:
of 5 skulls...or other things
This movie is awful. Flat-out awful. Well, not flat-out. More like beautiful
round and buxom-awful. Basically, the only reasons to watch this movie are Donna D'Errico's
boobies. Don't let me mislead you, though - you don't get to see them unleashed, but
she does wear white tanktops for most of the movie.
Honestly, I was rather disappointed, having enjoyed the first two Candyman movies.
But this one just sucks. Not only does it suck, it totally screws with the story set
forth in the first two, which is always a movie no-no. But Donna D'Errico's boobies
are a yes-yes.
For example, in the second movie, we saw through flashbacks that Danielle Robitaille
(the future Candyman) was left for dead laying on a log in the desert. In Day of the
Dead, Donna (as his great-great-great-boobied-granddaughter Caroline) explains that he
was tied to a tree, which is also visualized in the form of a flashback. Huh?
The other thing I didn't like that they changed from the other movies was that in this
one, Candyman spoke a lot more. And I mean a lot. There's one scene where he goes
on for like 7 minutes. And you don't get to see Donna's boobies once in that span! What
the hell?
And then there's about 60000000 fake scares, where you think the Candyman is sneaking up
or about to kill someone, but it turns out to just be her roommate or someone set up to scare
people or something else. The stupidest and most blatant fake scare was when Caroline hears
her roommate screaming "Don't kill me, please don't kill me!!" and all this other crap, and
it turns out she was rehearsing for a movie part she just got. I mean, come on.
As for the story itself, they basically took the same story from Farewell to the
Flesh and changed it a little. Candyman is now chasing the next generation of his
family, and while her mother destroyed him by smashing a mirror containing his soul, Caroline
has to destroy his early paintings. They don't even explain how he returns after being
destroyed. There's even a festival/parade scene which is almost identical to Mardi Gras in
the second movie. One big change was that Donna D'Errico wore a white tanktop through most
of the movie.
Oh yeah, one more thing - this movie was made only four years after the second one, but
Caroline has grown a lot more than four years in the meantime, and the world hasn't changed
that much. For this one to be chronologically accurate, it would have to take place in about
2012. But Donna's boobies would of course be just as big.
Anyway, be sure to miss this one, but if someone you know does happen to own it, you
should check it out just to see...guess what?...Donna D'Errico's boobies.