October 10, 2003
Jeepers Creepers & Jeepers Creepers 2
2001/2003
Both written and directed by the obese pedophile Victor Salva
Starring:
JC1: Gina Philips as Trish, Justin Long as Darius, and Jonathan Breck as The Creeper
JC2: Ray Wise, Travis Schiffner, and Jonathan Breck as The Creeper
J-Rock's Review:
2 awful, awful pieces of garbage
I actually saw part 2 before part 1, but that doesn't change how crappy both movies are.
Basic plot for part 1 - brother and sister lost on country backroad, chased by scary truck, then by scary guy who drove truck, then by scary guy who is actually winged reptile thing who eats people. Some black lady gets involved along the way, and she somehow knows everything about this creature, including how the song that goes "Jeepers creepers, where'd you get those peepers" portends a creature's impending attack. Creature eats brother's eyes - hence the "where'd you get those peepers" thing. Stupid, I know.
I was bored (translation: I still wasn't working), so I watched the 'making of...' documentary on the DVD. According to director Salva, JC was his version of an old-fashioned monster movie, reminiscent of the old Universal pictures of the 30s and 40s. Unfortunately, Salva is a convicted child molester, so his movies tend to resemble his fantasy - brooding predator chases thin half-naked teenage boys - rather than anything ever produced by Universal. I thought it was a little strange how they kept showing you the rose tattoo on the stomach of the rather effeminate male lead, but when I read about the director's past, it all made sense. Gross.
Boob factor for part 1: None, unless you count a dead chick sewn to the Creeper's wall.
Basic plot for part 2 - it's the last day of feeding for the Creeper for the next 23 years, so he's hungry. Bus breaks down in cornfield. Creeper starts swooping in and abducting young male basketball players (I see a theme here...oh wait, I just covered that above). Farmer defeats Creeper. No wait, it just ran out of time. Ah, who gives a shit.
Oh yeah, in part 2, the Creeper now has throwing stars and knives and stuff, which are all made of bones and teeth. Doesn't make the movie any less shitty. Salva must have incriminating pictures of Francis Ford Coppola - how else can you explain FFC giving this guy the $$ to make not one, but two shitty Jeepers Creepers movies??
