Return of the Living Dead
July 19, 2004
Return of the Living Dead
1985
Written and directed by Dan O'Bannon
Starring: the only actor you need to know is Miguel A. Nuñez, Jr., better known as Demon from Friday the 13th: A New Beginning. In a departure from his days playing a punk named "Demon" in that movie, he plays a punk named "Spider" in this one.
J-Rock's Review: Zombies + boobies + bad music + mullets + Miguel A. Nuñez, Jr. = great 80s fun!
The first semi-official sequel to the all-time horror classic Night of the Living Dead trilogy is a tongue-in-cheek laugh fucking riot. The basic premise is that the events of NOtLD actually happened, and a few zombies were stored in drums for safekeeping by the guv-mint. A few drums are accidentally shipped to a medical supply company, where the bumbling owner lets out the toxic gas inside. The gas brings a frozen cadaver back to life, so to get rid of the evidence they burn the body parts in the crematory next door.
Of course it rains, bringing the toxic ash back down to earth. Conveniently enough, there's a cemetery nearby, too. Of course the bodies start a-poppin' up out of the ground.
Oh yeah, while all this is going on, a bunch of absolutely prototypical 80s movie punks (including Lord Miguel A. Nuñez, Jr.) are looking for a good time. Of course to them, a good time means hanging out in a cemetery, bitching about how they hate everything, and, in the case of Trash, dancing naked on an above-ground grave (and here's me, still without any stupid screen-grab equipment).
So the zombies go on a rampage, killing punks, paramedics, police, puppies, parakeets, porn stars, etc. The few remaining punks run from the medical supply place to the funeral home/crematorium, then to the medical supply store, and then back to the crematorium. Along the way they meet up with the medical supply guy and two of his employees, one of whom is the boyfriend of one of the punks (but she's the least punky of them).
The two fools who opened the drum slowly become zombificated, and a paramedic who takes their pulses is dumbfounded when they don't have any!! Bwahahahahaha! So anyway, the hilarity & horror continue as more and more undead swarm the building, killing and eating cops and paramedics along the way for good measure.
Our friends have barricaded themselves inside the funeral home, and they've also managed to capture and restrain one of the zombies - actually, half of one. It's a torso, complete with writhing spinal column. From "her" they learn that the zombies have to eat human brains to stave off the pain of being dead.
So anyway, the zombies are everywhere. Somebody finally remembers the phone number that was painted on the side of the original drum, and they call the Army. It turns out that the gov-mint has been waiting to finally find out where those lost drums were - so they can bomb the zombies into oblivion.
Bombs fall on Pittsburgh and everything's obliterated (no big loss).
BUT...
It's raining (again). The fallout from the explosions returns to the ground (again). And the dead start rising from the grave (again). The end...or is it?
This movie was friggin' hilarious, and made bonafide stars out of well, Miguel A. Nuñez, Jr. For that reason alone, it's definitely a must-see. There are also 2 or 3 sequels, with more in production - I'll let you know as soon as I see them!
