S.I.C.K./Grim Weekend
December 8, 2004
S.I.C.K./Serial Insane Clown Killer
2003
Directed by Bob Willems
Starring: Ken Hebert as Brandon, Amanda Watson as Tracey, Bruce Campbell look-a-like Hank Fields as Mark, Chris Bruck as Susan, and Melissa Bale as Denise
J-Rock's Review: Don't. Whatever you do, don't. You'll thank me.
I just don't know where to begin.
First allow me to point out that the company that made this movie has since changed its name to "Grim Weekend". Maybe the Insane Clown Posse threatened to sue. However, I doubt that the change has catapulted their shitty movie to the top of anyone's Netflix list.
This is just a shit-fest from beginning to end. Even the boobies can't salvage this movie from being totally worthless. I can't even call it a piece of celluloid garbage, because it was shot entirely on video (MiniDV would be my guess).
Next point - it has nothing to do with a serial killer of clowns. That I would have enjoyed - you see, I hate clowns. I hate clowns more than almost anything. If I were about to fall into a volcano and a clown reached out his grease-painted hand to hoist me to safety, I'd rather plummet to my fiery doom.
Basically, it's a Z-grade ripoff of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Exhibit A: Brandon lures some friends and a co-worker out to his family's old vacation home in the middle of nowhere. Exhibit B: Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiker who everyone thinks is crazy. Exhibit C: People start dying, killed by someone in a scary mask that seems to be made of skin. Exhibit D: They go to open a tool shed and make the grisly discovery of human remains that have been used to make macabre decorations. Exhibit E: I hate this fucking movie.
Everyone dies except Brandon and Denise, who turn out to be relatives of the insane clown guy. Oh yeah, the insane clown guy. He's a fat guy in a dirty shirt who lives in a construction paper house (no joke) in the woods and occasionally comes out wearing a plastic--I mean human skin--clown mask. Why a clown mask? Who knows? More importantly, who cares?
Oh yeah, Brandon fucks his co-worker Tracey (who has HUGE turkey-timer nipples) and his relative (?) Denise, who has small boobies, but a nice ass. Brandon is probably the most annoying character - not only is he a total toolbox, but he's ridiculously overacted. So who would include two sex scenes for this moron? The writer of the movie, Ken Hebert...who just happens to play Brandon! What an asshole.
Oh yeah, Denise kind of reminded me of Rob Zombie's annoying wife in House of 1000 Corpses, only slightly less annoying.
More info from IMDB: S.I.C.K.
Official site for "Grim Weekend": Grim Weekend
