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Makins  |  Omniscient  Breeding women  How Evelution Was Done  Jesus Croons  The Wheeze of My Breath Speaks Volumes  | 

The Wheeze of My Breath Speaks Volumes 

I'm parblind now. The lesions on my skin feel feathery. When I'm tired I feel them rustle. The susuurus of death? No. I have full blown AIDs. That's death. But in the wheeze of my breath I hear things. 

* * *

I faded. I'm fading. Faintly, though, I hear the virus speaking. It doesn't speak as I do. Christ, I can barely speak now. I could... I could once... 

*

A little bl*ckout there. I think like I write. I used to use st*rs a lot. One paper I wrote for insisted on bl*nking out rude words. Even s*x was sc*rred by st*rs. S*d w*nkers. I can't even w*nk now. 

*******

That was a long f*cking bl*ckout, f*deout. Wh*t*v*r. I know what I wanted to say though, I was a writer and a computer. programmer. Some people said I was a good programmer. Some said a better writer. I wasn't really a programmer. I could program but I was really an arrogant bastard who liked to hack. A hack writer's one thing but a hacker's only aim is to fuck up other peoples programs. I was a shit who shat in other peoples cyberplaces. So were the anonymous dorks I eLived with. I grew up. I stopped writing viruses and started to write. 

******

That last section, a little burst of clarity, cost me 12 hours of sleep. I begrudge sleep-time now. To die, to sleep, to sleep perchanche to dream? You wouldn't want the dreams of a dying (sleeping?) man. Where was I (rustle of lung, roughness of dead skin on live flesh)? Virus. Illness. Infection. Cold. The common cold is a virus! 
(Coughing. Retching. Heaving. Wheezing. Fading...) 

**************

I thought that was it. I wanted to pray. Couldn't breath. Wanted to pray - no atheists in foxholes - foxes digging through my lungs - viscious virus, vixen, death. Virus. I wrote them. I understand them. They live, viruses. In my lungs, in computers, they propogate, procreate, live, strive, stifle. I don't know how they do that. I didn't make these computer lifeforms (LifeDeforms?). It can't be coincidence that cyber and carbon viruses started killing us at the same time. It has to be something inhuman, something from out there, that mad* them. Th*y h*ve to h*ve com* from ******* ********* ******** ****** ******* ********* ******** ****** ******* ********* ******** ******  


 
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