Mark Knight: Net Worth |
Makins Takin' the MakinsShe was a thin girl. Big eyes which she would narrow down when she was thinking. I thought it made her look cunning. I think she thought it made her look intelligent. I persisted in thinking of her as a girl although she was in her early twenties. I suppose someone of that class has always seemed to me to be less mature because of their lack of education. And so someone of my class, thanks to a better education, is able to make arrogant assumptions like the above.We were both on family credit. We were both single mothers. She had a girl. I had a boy. I sometimes wondered how she'd come to be a single parent. I knew that if I asked I would have to reciprocate with my history and I didn't find that level of intimacy appealing at all. Christ, I sound like such a condescending cow. No, actually I am a condescending cow but I shall plough on anyway. There's probably a witty word-bit I could do on 'cow' and 'plough' which would cover my naked snobbery but I don't deserve to hide behind it so I shall stand here ashamed for a bit. She - god, calling her she is patronising too - Alison looked after Ben. I only needed her for six days a month. She was firm but caring with Ben. She wasn't my dream childminder (it seems that I can't write a paragraph without some middle-class bitchery - sorry) but Ben played happily with Sasha. When Sasha had a birthday party, Ben was invited. He was a younger than Sasha (or Sash, as Alison called her daughter) by 13 months but he adored her and was adorable and so was a must for a little girl's party. I asked Alison if I could help set up the party and she was enthusiastic in her acceptance. 'As it goes, that'd be great.' she said. 'I don't wanna be rude an' that but I wasn't gonna ask you 'cos I fort you'd be too, like, busy or summink. Not being funny.' I assured her that I wouldn't take umbrage. 'No, really, it'll be fun watching Ben with all those girls.' 'Yeah' she grinned 'he fancies Sash' (image of window - why do these people lumber their children with such ridiculous diminutives?) 'and she'll probably get the hump when he goes off with another girlfriend.' We chuckled (well, she brayed and I simpered) and I was booked for the pre-party team. We watched them play. Ben did fancy Sash. He also did as Alison predicted, and as every male has done since amoeba's got gender specific. Girl after girl took his attention, and he was soon in a whirl of girls. I mentioned this to Alison (Al was what everybody called her). I didn't put it in quite those terms though. 'Men.' I said. 'Yeah they're right tarts, ent they? Sash's dad was like that'. 'What was he like?'. I couldn't help myself asking. 'He was the bloke I wanted to have a baby off.' and then she disappeared to save a party dress from a cake worse than death. Party games were organised by a young entertainer who did tricks with balloons, told stories and wore a leotard, leggings and cat make-up. Everybody was offered face painting and she had them sitting spellbound while she painted animals and aliens and insects, all the while telling animal tales and describing how she was doing what she was doing to each little face. Al and I snuck out to the kitchen where another mother, Hope, was getting some more sausage rolls out of the freezer. Hope was from the USA, Georgia. Her husband was a computer super-nerd from a massive company that seemed to own every piece of software in the world, or so Hope said. 'I'm just takin' the makins out ready to fire 'em up. Gawd, children en masse eat like locusts, huh?' Hope 'fired up' the sausage rolls and left. Al and I started to stack dirty plates. 'What was yours like then?' Al asked. I was flummoxed for a bit, then it dawned. 'Ben's father? He was...'. I was stuck. I could describe him, of course. I could say what we were like together but her comment about Sasha's father came back to me and made me pause. "He was the bloke I wanted to have a baby off" didn't seem to me to be, well, quite how I'd put it. As I thought about this Al piped up with 'Like, what Hope said, takin' the makins, that's what we do, innit? I mean we've got some of the makins but we need that ovver bit to fire it up. Then, wallop, we've got a bun in the oven. That's good, that is.' She laughed, a whole head-back laugh. 'I knew mine wouldn't stay around. I didn't tell him I was off the pill. I fort maybe he'd, like, accept it an' that but really I knew he'd be off like naughty girls knickers.' The sheer blatancy of her statement floored me. 'Oh.' I said. I thought 'How stupid! He was bound to leave you. You just presented him with a fait accompli - he could take or leave it and so he left it. A bit callous on both sides. You could have played it better.' 'What about you?' she was sticking at it. I was in the 'you show me your scar, I show you mine' situation that I'd wanted to avoid with her. 'I ... we'd been together for a while. I knew he didn't want children at first. Neither did I. After a few years I changed my mind. He was never really happy about it so...'. I trailed off, not wanting, or not able, to say what I meant. 'But you still was takin' the makins.' She grinned. 'I'm sorry?' 'You needed his makins. An you took 'em.' 'No. We discussed it. He agreed we should have a baby.' 'How'd you get 'im to agree then?' 'He could see that I was ... upset at not having a baby.' 'So he give in then? 'Cos you was upset?' 'Yes. No. It wasn't like that. I didn't ...' I wanted to say that it wasn't as if I had cried and screamed till I got what I wanted but I had cried. A lot. And we had discussed it. A lot. But I always knew that no matter how much we discussed it I would have my baby. Al grinned again as she said 'I'm not a feminist but-' (the old cliche nearly made me laugh but I stopped in time) 'but I reckon women who do all that feminism would like that takin' the makins thing. All you gotta do is use a bit of nous and find a nice bloke. It's not like they own their, you know, stuff is it? An' it's a woman's right to choose, innit?' I am a feminist (I think) but I don't know if she - Alison dammit - was right. I mean, you can't go around just taking someone's makings. Can you? I've got another childminder now though. Alison made me uncomfortable after that. Sorry Alison. |
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