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9/12 - A Summer of Filth: I have known Matt Oliver for a while now. I have never lived with him though. I assumed that he was like any other human being, that is until May 28, when I discovered that he is the filthiest and most revolting piece of shit to have ever lived. I also did not relize to the extent at which he drank his life away. The first week, sure, we all binged everyday and night but that only lasted for 10 days at the most. When Matt was still not sober at any given time towards the end of June, we began to worry. He was like the twice divorced friend who found solice in a bottle but everyone was afraid to bring up the problem to prevent confrontation. Examples: two weeks in to summer, Matt goes to a party over a mile from our house. Dan leaves with a ride but Matt refuses to go. He returns to our house two hours later covered in blood with a gash in his forehead that looks like someone caught him with a butcher knife. He's not 100% sure, but he thinks that a tractor trailor side swiped him while walking home on the highway. Dan proceeds to pour a handle of Bartpon's rum into the wound to dissinfect it. One day, we invite Matt to the beach. "No guys, I have to work out." Matt proceeds to do 3 reps on the ab wheel and (censored to protect Matt). This is now reffered to as the Matt Oliver exercise plan. Many other stories have to tbe left out to protect Matt's well-being, whcih as much as would love to destroy, I feel some obligation not to. Maybe the best example of Matt's worthlessness is displayed by his bed and sheet. Matt's sheet, which was his only form of covering while asleep, could consistently be found on the floor of the living room. It served many purposes besides covering Matt at night. It was also there in case anyone spilled food products on the floor. It was there when you came back from the beach to wipe your feet on. If you ever threw up, there was no need to run to the bathroom or find a mop, Matt's sheet was just waiting for you. Below, you can see an example of what would happen in a standard day. |
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