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| To Cassums... |
| Every day I meet someone who judges me, or finds something to dislike about me, or someone who humiliates me, or condemns me, or makes me feel like nothing in the world at all. Every day my list of people that I have to stay away from grows longer, as my list of friends thins. Every day, someone who I think I can trust, turns into someone I cannot, and someone who appears to make things clear for me, only makes things more confusing. People who seem so close, are really so far away. Even the people who respect me with true praise and gratitude, are really the people who misunderstand me, or mold me into their own image of suitable satisfaction. Even my family, who only gives me money and material posessions into my hands when I do something right, or values my education far beyond my self-fulfillment or self-esteem, cannot understand me for me. Even my closest friends, who run to me with their problems, and manipulate and enslave me for their own personal peace of mind, but don't really give a care in the world about me, cannot love me for me. There are the people who cause me to look in the mirror to say, "you're not good enough." And people who make me lay in the darkness of my room with the bleakest of thoughts. I feel dirty, worthless, worked to the bone, pressured, and confused. I'm broken. And even when the sun seems brighter the next day, the clouds still hang over me. I'm scarred. Someone knew me even before I knew myself. Someone came and talked to me, even when I was convinced no one would. Someone was kind to me even before I was truly kind to myself, and someone respected me for me, even when I didn't respect myself. Even when others seemed so dim at heart, there was someone who always kept a light inside theirs. Someone saw past my shell, when no one else could. You should know what I meant when I said that you saved me. Because you did. I love ya! |
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