~ THE AWAKENING ~

A time comes in your life when you finally
get it. . . When in the midst of all your
fear and insanity you stop dead in your
tracks and somewhere, the voice inside
your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling
to hold on. And, like a child quieting
down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin
to subside, you shudder once or twice, you
blink back your tears and through a mantle
of wet lashes, you begin to look at
the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening . . .

You realize that it's time to stop hoping
and waiting for something to change, or
for happiness, safety and security to come
galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that he
is not Prince Charming and you are not
Cinderella and that in the real world,
there aren't always fairy tale endings
(or beginnings for that matter) and
that any guarantee of "happily ever after"
must begin with you and in the process
a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not
perfect and that not everyone will always
love, appreciate or approve of who or what
you are . . . and that's OK. (They are
entitled to their own views and opinions).

And you learn the importance of loving
and championing yourself and in the
process, a sense of new found confidence
is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people
for the things they did to you (or didn't
do for you) and you learn that the only
thing you can really count on is the
unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say
what they mean or mean what they say and
that not everyone will always be there
for you and that it's not always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and
take care of yourself and in the process a
sense of safety and security is born
of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and
you begin to accept people as they are
and to overlook their shortcomings and human
frailties and in the process, a sense of
peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view
yourself and the world around you, is as a
result of all the messages and opinions
that have been ingrained into your psyche.

You begin to sift through all the crap
you've been fed about how you should behave,
how you should look and how much you should
weigh, what you should wear and where you
should shop and what you should drive, how
and where you should live and what you
should do for a living, who you should
marry and what you should expect of a
marriage, the importance of having and
raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and
different points of view. You begin
reassessing and redefining who you are and
what you really stand for. You learn the
difference between wanting and needing and
you begin to discard the doctrines and
values you've outgrown, or should never
have bought into to begin with and in
the process, you learn to go
with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that
we receive and that there is power and
glory in creating and contributing and
you stop maneuvering through life merely
as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty
and integrity are not the outdated ideals
of a by gone era, but the mortar that
holds together the foundation upon which
you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything;
it's not your job to save the world and
that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt
and responsibility and the importance
of setting boundaries and learning to
say NO. You learn that the only cross
to bear is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love
and familial love. How to love, how much
to give in love, when to stop giving and
when to walk away. You learn not to
project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship. You learn that you will not
be more beautiful more intelligent, more
lovable or important because of the man on
your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they
really are and not as you would have them
be. You stop trying to control people,
situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and
change so it is with love; and you learn
that you don't have the right to demand
love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You look in the mirror and come to terms
with the fact that you will never be a
size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying
to compete with the image inside your head
and agonizing over how you "measure up".

You also stop working so hard at putting
your feelings aside, smoothing things
over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement
are perfectly OK and that it is your
right to want things and to ask for
the things that you want
and that sometimes it is necessary
to make demands.

You come to the realization that you
deserve to be treated with love
kindness, sensitivity and respect and
you won't settle for less. You allow
only the hands of a lover who cherishes
you to glorify you with his touch and
in the process you internalize
the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your
temple and you begin to care for it and
treat it with respect. You begin eating
a balanced diet, drinking more water and
taking more time to exercise.

You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit
and can create doubt and fear. So you take
more time to rest. Just as food fuels the
body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take
more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for most part in life, you
get what you believe you deserve and that
much of life truly is a self fulfilling
prophecy.

You learn that anything worth
achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is
different from working toward making
it happen. More importantly, you learn
that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all
alone and that it's OK to risk
asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must
truly fear is the great robber baron
of all time; FEAR itself. You learn
to step right into and through your
fears, because you know that whatever
happens you can handle it and to give
in to fear, is to give away the right
to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and
not to squander it living under
a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair,
you don't always get what you think you
deserve and that sometimes bad things
happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these occasions, you learn
not to personalize things.

You learn that Great Spirit isn't
punishing you or failing to answer
your prayers; it's just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil and it's most
primal state; the ego. You learn that
negative feelings such as anger, envy
and resentment must be understood and
redirected or they will suffocate the
life out of you and poison the universe
that surrounds you. You learn to admit
when you are wrong and to build
bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take
comfort in many of the simple things we
take for granted; things that millions
of people upon the earth can only dream
about; a full refrigerator, clean running
water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility
for yourself, by yourself, and you make
yourself a promise to never betray yourself
and to never ever settle for less than your
heart's desire. You hang a wind chime
outside your window so you can listen to
the wind and you make it a point to keep
smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open
to every wonderful possibility.

Finally with courage in your heart and with
Great Spirit by your side you take a
stand and you take a deep breath and you
begin to design the life you want to
live as best you can.

~ Author: Virginia Marie Swift