He had to break a window to get the drummer out!
We know a guy who was so dumb his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer, but lost one and became a conductor.
A guy wanted to play bass in a band. The band told him, "Okay, but you will have to have 1/3 of your brain removed." So the guy went into surgery. When he woke up, the doctor said, "I'm terribly sorry, but we made a mistake and accidentally removed 3/4's of your brain!" The guy said, "Uh, that's okay. Got some sticks?"
How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?
Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm.
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
I asked my drummer to spell "Mississippi"...
He said, "the river or the state?"
What do you call a dozen drummers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start!!
Como saber si hay un baterista en la puerta?
Porque no sabe cuando entrar.
In English: How do you know there's a drummer at the door?
Because he doesn't know when to enter.
Q: Why are drummers always losing their watches?
A: Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
Q: What do you call a kid with a set of drums?
A: The poster child for Birth Control.
Q: How do you confuse a drummer?
A: Give him a piece of sheet music.
"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but only after asking "Why?"
("Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?")Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
Two girls are walking along when they hear....."Pssst! Down here!"
They both look down to see a frog sitting beside the road. The frog says to them,
"Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn into a world famous drummer and make you both rich and famous!" The two girls look at each other, and one of them reaches down and grabs the frog and stuffs it in her pocket. The other girl says, "What did you do that for?" The first girl replies, "I'm not stupid, I know that a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous drummer any day!"
A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a vacation. As the boat nears the island, he notices the constant sound of drumming coming from the island. As he gets off the boat, he asks the first native he sees how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says, "very bad when drumming stop." At the end of the day, the drumming is still going, and it is starting to get on his nerves. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been reminded of something very unpleasant. "Very bad when drumming stops," he says, and hurries off. After a couple of days with little or no sleep, our traveler is finally fed up, he grabs the nearest native, slams him up against a tree, and shouts "What happens when the drumming stops?!!"
"Bass solo"
Q: Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
A: So you don't have to retrain the drummers.
Q: Johnny says to his mom: "I want to be a drummer when I grow up!"
A: Mom: "But Johnny, you can't do both!"
Q: How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
A: You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.