I pulled away from her, the emotion she was exerting frightened me. She had never done so before. She seemed to sense my hesitation because she drew me closer to her. ?I have to go, Mother,? I stammered weakly, eager to get away from her.
?Mother?? she said bitingly. ?I have not been that cold and distant for you to call me Mother? You call your father Daddy, don?t you? Why don?t you show me the same affection you show him?? she screamed. ?I tried to be a good mother, I did,? she insisted, her voice becoming more and more hysterical. ?Please don?t go,? she wailed, holding out her arms to me. ?I?ll be a better mother, I promise I will. Just stay please, just stay,? she begged pathetically, seeming to lose all her dignity and pride.
I neared the door, hugging my hands close to me. I kept backing up until I ran into something solid. I raised my neck and stared into the eyes of my father as his gaze mournfully stayed on my mother. He rushed over to her, leaving me there planted on the doorframe.
?Evelyn, my love,? he murmured, kissing her hair and hands. ?It?s alright, Corinne loves you, she always has,? he whispered. I knew it was my cue to go to her and comfort her, but I couldn?t bring myself to walk to that whimpering mess that vaguely resembled my mother. I wanted to remember her as the proud, beautiful woman I had always known her to be. I left my mother there in her only time of need for me and maybe that was the beginning of all my weaknesses and sin.
After what seemed like hours, even though I?m sure it wasn?t even, my father came out of my room. I know not what he did to her but no sound escaped from my room. I wanted to peek in and make sure she was all right but I didn?t want to see her again in her miserable form. I looked back at my father and for the first time it seemed there was resentment in his eyes. ?I?ve got your bags, Corinne,? he said brusquely before starting off to the buggy.
I nodded and started off towards Helena?s room. Helena was staring blankly at the door, as if she had expected me to come. ?I?m sorry, Helena,? I mumbled weakly. ?I want you to know that I never hated you, even if it seemed so, and I tried to be a good sister.?
Her fiery gaze focused on me from that moment and a most hideous transformation came over her face. ?You!? she spat disgusted. ?You never tried anything, you have never tried for anything in your whole life. Everybody has waited on you hand and foot and everything was given to you freely. I have had to work for every ounce of affection I got, while you were showered with it, you were never denied it. I want you to know, Corinne Farthingfield, I have always hated you. Get out!? she screamed.
I believe I somewhat anticipated this, but nonetheless hearing it straight from her ripped my heart in two. I had always believed that she had just a bit of love for me left in her heart, that it was completely devoid of anything remotely resembling love. ?I?m sorry, Helena, I?m sorry that you never got the chance to love anybody,? I said, realizing what a sad thing my sister really was. And with that, I spun on my heel and left the room. Maybe if I had known it would be the last time I ever saw my mother or sister again, I would have done things differently, very differently.
I was happy to be leaving that place, I decided, even though it was what I had called home for more than seventeen years. When I got outside, my father was seated at the buggy. ?Are you ready?? he asked stiffly.
?Yes.?
?I?m disappointed in you, Corinne. You?re mother needed you and you just left her there. She was inconsolable and I alone had to handle her. She truly believes that you do not love her, and she is truly sorry she wasn?t a better mother to you. Corinne, you were very selfish back there,? he declared.
I was selfish? Indignation rose up to flush my cheeks as I turned to him. His steel cold eyes stopped the flow of words that threatened to come out of my mouth. ?I?m sorry,? I simply said, turning away.
The scenery passed away all the way to Charlottesville. I could tell my father kept wanting to make conversation, but I wasn?t really in the mood to talk. As we neared my aunt?s house, the first thing you could see was her gleaming chestnut hair. She waved ecstatically to us and I practically jumped out of the buggy into her arms