An hour later – much thanks to the weather and traffic, they’d finally arrived at 165th street, in Queens. Hawkeye scanned the buildings, finding number 57.
“Just here thanks”
“We here daddy?” asked Mae, waking up.
“Uh huh. How much?” he asked the driver.
“13 dollars 37 cents.”
Hawkeye handed over the money then turned to Margaret. “Here’s the key…”
“What are you giving it to me for?”
“You take the kids I’ll get the bags…unless you’d rather stay out here in the rain.”
“You don’t have to be a smart ass,” she told him as she got out of the car, took Mae’s hand and began to rush inside.
“Well this is turning out to be a great day…” he muttered sarcastically. Grabbing the few bags they had, he closed the trunk and hurried inside.
“I thought you were going upstairs?”
“I was waiting for you.”
“Can I get a hand here?”
“Okay tigerlily…time to wake up.” She shook the toddler slightly, waking her up. Lily began to cry. She never liked being woken up before she was ready.
“Oh great!”
“It’s hardly my fault!”
“She’s your daughter.”
“She’s yours too!”
“Just wait here with the bags”
“What for?”
“I can’t carry them all at once up 2 flights of stairs.”
“Then hurry it up!”
Hawkeye grabbed the 2 smaller bags and began trudging up the stairs.
“A snail could go faster than you.”
“A snail wouldn’t get bitched at every time he breathed.” He didn’t waste time listening to her reply and quickly made it up the stairs, with Mae in tow. “Why didn’t you stay with mommy?”
“I wanted you.” Mae hugged his leg as Hawkeye unlocked the door.
“Okay Mae-berry…once everything’s in here, then you can have me.”
“’Kay”
“Now it’s a big walk down and back again…do you want to stay up here whilst I get mommy?”
“No! Want you daddy.”
“Okay, let’s go get mommy” he threw the bags in and locked the door back up. Taking her hand they walked back down the stairs.
“Daddy…why does Lily cry?”
“Lily’s sick and she doesn’t like to be woken up. Unfortunately she inherited that from me.”
“Did the removalists get everything in?” Margaret yelled above the crying baby.
“Yes Margaret, for the 5th time this hour…everything’s there.” Hawkeye breathed out and picked up the last bag.
“Okay…shhh baby…when we get there you can go back to sleep.” Margaret laid the child’s head down and smoothed down her hair.
The walk up seemed to take longer than the first. With Lily’s crying, Margaret’s criticism…Mae was a godsend to be around.
“Oh god that’s a long walk!” said Margaret, nearly out of breath. Lily had refused to be put down and carrying a 12kg 2 year old was murder on…just about every muscle.
“You said it.”
“Why’s the door locked?”
“It’s New York…why do you think I asked you to stay with the bags?”
“But the door? Up here?”
“What did I just say?”
“There’s no one else up here!”
“Neighbours?”
“Oh come off it!”
“I’m not taking any chances.” Hawkeye declared as he opened the door wide.
“Oh god, look at this place!” she exclaimed in horror as they all walked in.
“I am…what’s the problem?”
“They didn’t get everything in here…they shoved it in here.”
“At 12 bucks an hour I told them to be quick.”
“This is gonna take days…” Margaret groaned.
“No it won’t…our place only took a day and a half and it was 5 times the size of this place.”
“We only had one child then…and I’m deducting your help.”
Hawkeye looked over at his wife, angered. “What the hell for?”
“When was the last time you helped with anything?”
“I help all the time!”
“Hold on…Mae could you take Lily over to the couch please?” she put the 2 year old down and her big sister led her over to it.
“Come here.” He half-dragged her into their bedroom and closed the door. “What the hell is wrong with you lately?”
“What are you on about?”
“Since Lily turned one, you’ve been an absolute horror to live with! If it’s not how I dress, then it’s what time I get home, who I’ve seen and how I feed the kids. When did you get so damn snippy?”
“I am not snippy!”
“Alright then. When did you turn into such a bitch?”
“How dare you!”
“What can it possibly be that has turned you into…”
“Who?”
“Hotlips! It’s like 1950 all over again! What’s happened? What have I done to piss you off?”
“Whoever said it had anything to do with you?”
“Oh I don’t know…perhaps the fact that I’m your husband could have something to do with it. If it’s not me THEN WHAT THE HELL IS IT!”
“Daddy…” Mae knocked on the door and went in.
“What is it Berry?”
“Where’s the bathroom.”
“Come on I’ll show you.” He glared at his wife before he left “We’re not finished here,” and walked out.
After taking her to the bathroom and checking on Lily, who was again asleep and still slightly warm, he walked back into their room to see Margaret crouched down against the wall.
“Mae, go find a good spot for your bed.”
“Okay daddy!” and the 4 year old skipped off.
Hawkeye slid down beside her and pulled his fingers against the back of his head.
“What’s happening to us?” she looked at him, clearly upset.
“I don’t know.” He answered, turning to face her.
“We were never meant to leave Korea.” She said, out of the blue.
“What?”
“We were great back then. We never fought.”
“Hardly fought.” He corrected her.
“And now here…we’re worse than we were at the beginning of the war. What changed?”
“Us.” He flat out said.
“But why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we’re getting bored.”
“Of me?” she looked back at him, nearly in tears.
“Why would you say that?” he asked her.
“You’re different around everyone else. I just…” she paused, blinking back tears “…feel like the victim of the world’s biggest practical joke.”
Hawkeye pulled her closer to him, and she collapsed against his shoulder.
Margaret was totally burnt out. Between moving, Mae’s identity crisis before school age, Lily’s ever-growing list of sickness, Hawkeye always at work and her parent’s blatant disapproval of her choice in husband constantly weighing over her head, it was a surprise she hadn’t totally flipped. Margaret was always the obsessive-compulsive, control-freak, stress-head…and if Korea hadn’t wiped her out yet…it was only a matter of time before she had a nervous breakdown.
As quietly as he could Hawkeye called out for his oldest.
“Could you find me a pillow for mommy?”
“Where?” she asked him, her bag of toys dragged beside her.
“In that box just over there.” He pointed to an unopened cardboard box, carefully labelled ‘Adults bedroom stuff’…Hawkeye burst out laughing when he had come home and saw what she had written. Margaret had no clue…til he gave her a subtle hint and she swiped him, muttering something about ‘still a garbage head’.
Mae tried her best, but being of Korean origin she wasn’t very tall. “Can’t reach daddy.”
“That’s okay.” He carefully moved Margaret, took off his jacket and laid it under her head. She hadn’t been getting a whole lot of sleep lately.
“Mommy sleeping?”
“Shhh…yes, let’s go out.” He closed the door slowly once out.
“Why does everyone in this family sleep alls the time!” she pouted. Hawkeye laughed. “I don’t know Berry…now. Would you like to surprise mommy?”
The 4 year old eagerly nodded her head.
“Okay then, lets set up house.”
“Yay!” she said a little too loud.
“Shhh…quiet remember?”
“Okay daddy.” She nodded her head again.
“Did you find a spot to sleep?”
“Right here!” she stood next to their bedroom wall.
“How about somewhere where we can fit your bed?” he asked, playing along with her.
“Okay!”
To say their temporary apartment was small was an understatement. It was on the third floor of a four-floor apartment building. When you walked in, to the left was the 8 by 8 foot open kitchen. Next to that, was Hawkeye and Margaret's bedroom – about the size of the Swamp. To the right was almost half the apartment taken up by the living room. And opposite the entrance was the barely-breathable bathroom. All in all, the apartment was about 18 square feet. Not a great space for a family of 4.
Hawkeye and Mae stumbled over a few boxes til they found the 2 beds and the crib. Lily’s track record showed it was safer for all to have her still in her crib. None of which had been put together yet.
“She’s right…it is going to take forever.”
“Who said daddy?”
“You did!”
“When?”
“Just then!” he leaned down to tickle her, resulting in giggling.
“No daddy…work!”
“Okay, okay…what should we…OW!” he stabbed his foot against a rather full box “Son of a!” he stopped himself in time. “I think we should move the boxes away.” He looked at his daughter and waited for her nod of approval. The girl was big on nodding. ‘Must be a genetic thing’ he concluded.
A while later:
“Ugk...daddy...I can't move it...”
“Careful! It’s very heavy…how about you go put all the bags in the kitchen.”
“The kitchen?” she asked confused.
“So we don’t hurt ourselves, or lose them.”
“Oh right!”
“Oh man! You’re right Mae…it is heavy” he gasped the last word. Dropping it down he leant over it in pain, declaring, “I now have a hernia.”
“What’s a ‘ernia?”
“A hernia is an adults excuse not to work.” He muttered to her, collapsing on a chair. Mae came up and sat on his lap.
“Daddy…”
“Mae…”
“I think we should wake up Lily.”
“What for?”
“So’s we can move the couch to where it’s sposed to go.”
“And where’s that exactly?”
“Ummm…over there.” She pointed to the front wall.
“You sure?”
“I overheard mommy say it should…but she said it a different way.”
“What did she say?”
“One of the words I’m not sposed to say.”
Hawkeye chuckled. “Sounds like your mother.”
“Daddy…why can you and mommy say those words and me and Lily can’t?”
“Because Mae-Berry…lots of adults don’t like those words.”
“Then why does you and mommy say them?”
“When adults say they don’t like things, it doesn’t mean they don’t do them.”
“Like having a bath everyday.”
“Exactly.”
“But why can’t we say them then? You and mommy have to take a bath everyday too.”
“Well it’s just something not good for kids to say. Plus if mommy ever heard you say them before you were 15…she’d have my hide nailed to a wall.”
“I think I get it. So what mommy says is the rule?”
Hawkeye burst out laughing. She was very much his daughter. “Mommy likes to think so…and we just go along with it to make her happy.”
Mae giggled, she wasn’t sure why, but her daddy thought it was funny, so it must be. “Okay daddy…enough rest…more work.”
“Okay Berry” he said before he muttered; “Now I know who she got that from.”
“So can we wake up Lily?”
“No…she’s still not feeling better.”
“But I want to move the couch!”
“You know what we can do instead?”
“What?”
“We can set up the beds!”
“Mine first!”
“Naturally.”
For the next hour and a half, Hawkeye struggled to get the single, wooden bed together. As BJ and Margaret said: for a cardiac surgeon, he was lousy with tools.
“I think we got it.”
“Finally!” she exclaimed.
“Hey…I have a hernia remember?”
“You said that was a ‘scuse!”
“I did too. Okay let’s move it…you push I’ll pull. 1,2,3...ARRGH!” he was exaggerating for her amusement. In actuality it was rather light. “Window or bathroom?” he asked her.
“Window…the bathroom’s smelly.”
Hawkeye chuckled “Sure is.”
Once moved into place, he threw the mattress on top. “Where did mommy put your sheets?”
“In my box!” Mae stood beside her box, labelled ‘Mae’s Things’ which she proudly helped write.
“Okay then…” Hawkeye opened it up and 199 toys later, he found sheets, blankets and pillows. “These it?”
Mae nodded eager to put them on.
“You want to help me put them on?”
“Yes!”
A few minutes later, they were on.
“Okay…next Lily’s crib, so we can move the couch.” Finding all the pieces, Hawkeye spent half an hour putting it together. After 2 kids he was getting better at cribs. It still should have only taken him 15 minutes.
“Over here?” he asked her.
“No just there.”
“Not here?”
Mae giggled “No daddy…you can’t get to the bathroom then!”
“Silly me! What’s next?”
“Lily’s sheets”
“Oh yeah…you seen where her box is?”
“Next to mine!”
“Oh good.” A few minutes later he had set everything up.
“Now can we move Lily?”
“Okay Mae.” ‘Houlihan bossiness alright,’ he thought. “Okay Tiger…no…shhh, don’t wake up. I’m just moving you to your own bed.”
The 2 year old fell back to sleep. She was getting quite warm. She still had on all her winter gear and since the heater was on, it was a comfortable 85 degrees.
“You’re quite warm there Tiger…” he muttered, taking off her jacket, shoes and sweater. Leaving her in a turtleneck, overalls and her socks.
“SLEEP!” she suddenly screamed.
“Shhh, okay Lily…you’re just a little too warm. You can sleep now.” He put her down in her crib and she drifted back off to sleep. ‘She better get well soon or I’m admitting her to paediatric wing.’ He said to himself.
“Couch now daddy!”
“Okay Berry.”
The next few hours were spent moving the few bits of furniture they had around, leaving the bedroom til last. He’d have to wake up Margaret to do that. And save her from a stiff neck.
“Daddy…can we eat now?”
“What time is it?”
“I dunno” the 4 year old shrugged.
“Of course you don’t.” Forgetting she was only 4. “Shiioot it’s nearly 4! Okay…mommy packed something…somewhere.” He rambled around the bags, finding what he was after.
“Okay, we got sandwiches…sandwiches…and juice. What’ll it be? Ham, peanut butter or jam?”
“Jam please.”
“Apple juice?”
She nodded her head.
The pair sat down for a few minutes and ate. When he was finished, Hawkeye stood up.
“I’m just gonna wake up mommy okay Berry?”
“Yesch” she replied, mouthful of food.
“Margaret…it’s 4 in the afternoon.”
“Mmm? What?”
“I said it’s 4 in the afternoon.”
“4! God why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Margaret…”
“We’ve wasted a whole day!”
“MARGARET!”
“What?”
“Come on, get up.”
“Mae asleep?”
“No she’s been busy…”
“Doing what?”
“You’ll see.” He said, as he led her out.
The look of shock on her face was all that he needed to see. “Oh god…you did all this in 6 hours?”
“I helped mommy!” Mae ran over to her.
“I bet you did.” She turned to her husband. “Thank you.” He pulled her in for a hug.
“Any time.”
“What else have you two been up to?”
“Daddy’s got a ‘ernia”
“He does?” she chuckled.
“What we saved on packaging, we’ll lose in medical costs.”
“I’m sure you’ll get over it.” She smirked.
“BUT…daddy says it’s only an ‘scuse…”
“He did, did he?”
Mae nodded her head eagerly.
“That all you taught her?”
“No…whilst you were sleeping I taught her how to cure cancer…”
“Smartass.”
“Daddy also splained why me and Lily and kids can’t say that stuff too!”
“Oh?”
“And the dangers of smoking, drinking, gambling…you know…all that stuff.”
Margaret smiled. “Where’s Lily?” she suddenly said, not seeing the toddler on the couch.
“About that.”
“What ‘about that’?” The pair walked over to her crib.
“I took some of her clothes off, she seemed a little warm, and I’ve been keeping an eye on her the past 4 hours…her temperature hasn’t seemed to come down at all.”
“Flu?”
“I don’t think so. It would have gone away by now. If she doesn’t get any better, I’m admitting her.”
Margaret’s eyes went wide with worry.
“Look, it’s probably just a virus that’s going around. She should be fine. You know her.”
“All too well.” She ran her hand down the child’s red-flushed cheek.
“Hungry?”
“A little. Has she eaten anything?”
“No…she screamed out ‘sleep’ when I moved her a few hours ago. I didn’t want to upset what ever she has.”
“Mae?”
“We had some sandwiches just before.”
“I’ll take anything…I’m starved.”
“We got more than anything…ham or peanut butter? Mae and I ate all the jam.”
“Ham’ll do.”
“If we get our bed set up today…we should be free to go house hunting tomorrow.”
“What about Lily?”
“If she’s well enough we’ll just take her…otherwise one of us stays and the other brings back pictures.” He said, taking a bite of ham.
“You think she’ll have to be admitted?”
“Margaret…stop stressing.”
“It’s only our child we’re talking about after all.”
“There’s nothing either of us could have done to prevent it. Stop blaming yourself and eat!”
Margaret took a bite and glared at him.
“Okay…we got a couple of choices.”
“Toodoohp…To do with what?” she swallowed her mouthful before continuing.
“Where to live…perhaps?”
“House, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a backyard. Plus anything you want.”
“Study and a kitchen bigger than my closet.”
“You hate closets.”
“Exactly. I actually meant area, rather than what kind of house…I already know what you want.”
“Not Manhattan.”
“Too crowded?”
“MmmmHmmm” she nodded her head vigorously to show her feelings.
“Bronx is too far…”
“…and too dangerous.”
“We could always trying and find something around here.”
“How about Brooklyn?” Margaret asked him.
“Possibly…It’s a helluva lot closer than anything else…”
“Or Long Island?”
“Nah…sounds stupid.” Anything with the name ‘Island’ was in his opinion ‘just plain stupid.’
“So it’s either Queens or Brooklyn…”
“What time tomorrow?”
“10…if Lily’s well enough she should be up by then.”
Mae was becoming impatient with her parents. She wanted to get everything set up and they were talking as usual. “Come on daddy! Let’s do yours and mommy’s room!” she tugged at his leg.
“How ‘bout it mommy?”
“You two have been doing a great job before I was here…be my guest!”
Hawkeye stuck his tongue out at her before he leaned in and whispered to her “Glad you slept well.” And kissed her on the cheek before disappearing with their oldest into the room.
Hawkeye had spent the next 3 hours getting the giant queen-sized together, and after 2 near broken fingers. He had done it and set it all up. Margaret poked her head in to see their progress.
“Looks good.”
“I wouldn’t suggest sitting on it.”
“Lying okay?”
“Be our dummy…er…guest.”
“I hope we find that house soon, because the prospect of living out of suitcases doesn’t seem enticing.”
“It’s better than moving everything twice.”
“True.”
“I’m dead…Berry?”
“Sleep now?”
“In a bit Mae…” Margaret told her. “Dinner?”
“Mmm…sounds good. Can I eat it in my sleep?”
“We still have some sandwiches.”
“That’ll do. Mae-Berry?”
“Tired…”
“Sandwiches it is” Margaret declared, getting up and going out to the kitchen.
“Margaret!” Hawkeye called out.
“What?” she yelled back.
“Drinks too.”
“Okay.” She brought it all back into the room.
“How’s Lily doing?”
“Temp’s gone up half a degree”
“Damn.”
“I’ll try giving her a bath after this. Maybe that’ll cool her off.”
“Hopefully.” Hawkeye wasn’t looking forward to staying at home or going out by himself the next day. They needed to do this together…there was enough hell between them already.
The three ate their food, mostly in silence.
“Sleep now?” Mae asked, keen to get to sleep.
“Okay Mae-Berry…go get changed and wait for me.” Hawkeye told her and she bounced out of the room. Falling back on the bed he declared, “That kid’s on a permanent sugar-hype.”
“Be thankful we only have one of them like that.” Margaret lied down next to him.
“You okay now?” he asked, looking straight at her.
“I’m just beyond tired. God…Lily’s going to be up all night!” Margaret groaned. That kid was a lot of work.
“I’ll bring her in here…” he yawned.
“I was about to suggest it.”
“After her bath.”
“Can’t you do it?” she pleaded with him.
“I’m on reading duty…and as you saw, all the books are still packed away.”
“Mmm…okay, you take number 1, I’ll wrestle with number 2.”
“Fine with me” he agreed, following his wife out the door.
Hawkeye found Mae all ready and in bed waiting.
“Which story?”
“Evil Ferret Man!”
Hawkeye grinned “An oldie but a goodie.” He sat beside her as she lied down, waiting for her favourite story. “Once upon a time there was an evil Ferret man…”
Meanwhile a few feet away, Margaret was struggling with their youngest.
“Tigerlily baby…come on please…time for a bath.”
“NO!” she screamed.
“Yes…I know you’re feeling sick Tiger…but bath will make you feel better.”
“NO. SLEEP!” she wasn’t happy and began screaming.
“Shit!” Margaret was stressing out.
“Hold on Berry…mommy needs help with Lily.”
“But daddy!”
“I’ll buy you ice cream tomorrow okay?”
“Okay…” she wasn’t pleased. All too often her sister interrupted ‘daddy time’ and she was beginning to dislike her for it.
“A little help?”
“Please?” Margaret was getting desperate. A screaming baby, with at least the flu, in winter…she could handle a daily influx of wounded soldiers with half their heads blown off, but this was something she didn’t cope well with.
“Tigerlily…let’s go take a bath.”
“NO! SLEEP!”
“No! Bath!”
“SLEEP!”
“BATH!” Hawkeye was hoping if she screamed enough, it would wear her out. “Margaret…” he was referring to the bath.
“It’s done.”
“Lily please…you’re giving mommy and I and the whole of New York a headache.”
“And Mae!” Mae put in, her hands covering her ears.
Hawkeye struggled to get her undressed, but did so, all the while with Lily kicking and screaming her lungs out.
“You want to take her or move the crib?” he asked her.
“What?” she asked him, out of it.
“Lily or the crib?”
“Oh uhhh…the crib.” She wandered out of the bathroom.
“Your mommy’s a wonder.” He muttered to his youngest.
“NO BATH! SLEEP!” she was still screaming.
“Yes bath!” he leaned down and had to physically force her to sit down.
“COLD!” she screamed and began crying.
“I know Tiger…but it’s so you’ll be better and won’t have to go to hospital…because mommy doesn’t want you to go.”
After a few minutes of just talking to her, she had calmed down and had stopped screaming.
“There…is that better?”
The 2 year old sniffled and nodded.
‘Of all the habits she picks up…’ He thought. “Margaret can you get her pyjamas?” he called out.
“Just finding them.” After a minute she walked back in with them and a towel. “Thought you may need this.” She said, holding up the towel.
“Oh yeah.”
He quickly dried her off and dressed her. Margaret went out to check on Mae – she had fallen asleep and hoped she would stay that way til the morning.
“She’s asleep.”
“Good…where did you put the medicine? I couldn’t find it in any of the boxes.”
“I put it in my bag…”
“Always prepared…”
“But never a scout.” Margaret emerged with a bottle of syrup – meant for coughs, but it helped the kids sleep.
After fighting with Lily for 5 minutes with it, he finally got most of it in her mouth. They both walked into their room and Margaret fell onto the bed.
“I don’t care anymore…I am not getting changed for anything.”
Hawkeye paced with Lily in his arms. “That goes ditto for me.”
Margaret arched up in the air “Maybe except this” and undid her belt, which was digging into her hip.
“Finally.” Hawkeye muttered, seeing that Lily was asleep. He laid her down in her crib and collapsed, dead, onto the bed he was so tired.
Rolling over onto his back he asked Margaret “That was one of the worser ones right?”
“Oh yeah.” She mused, falling asleep.
“If her temp’s not at least 2 degrees lower by tomorrow…I’ll take her in.”
“MmmmHmmm…” Margaret didn’t hear him; instead she drifted off to sleep. Hawkeye soon followed after.
Dead to the world at 7:30 was something he’d never thought would happen.
