Through early morning fog I see Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me I realise and I can see…
That suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please.
I try to find a way to make All our little joys relate
Without that ever-present hate But now I know that it's too late, and
Suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please.
The game of life is hard to play I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday laySo this is all I have to say.
Suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please.
The only way to win is cheat And lay it down before I'm beat
And to another give my seat For that's the only painless feat.
Suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please.
The sword of time will pierce our skins It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in The pain grows stronger, watch it grin,
but Suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please.
A brave man once requested me To answer questions that are key
"Is it to be or not to be?" And I replied, "Oh why ask me?"
Suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please...
And you can do the same thing if you please.
“Hail to the Chief”
Everyone: Hail to the Chief He's the best of all the surgeons He needs a queen to satisfy his urges.
Hail to the Chief He's the best of all the trappers He needs a queen to sit upon his lapper.
Hail to the Chief He's the best of all the cutters He needs a queen to satisfy the others.
Hail to the Chief Our Colonel did elect him He took his orders and shoved them up his rectum.
Radar: Long live the Chief The Colonel did elect him He took all his orders and shoved them up his nose.
When whippoorwills call and evening is nigh,
I hurry to my Blue Heaven.
Ya turn to the right; you find a little bright light,
That lead's you to my Blue Heaven.
You find a coffee place, a fireplace, a cosy room.
A little nest that nestles where the roses bloom.
Just Molly and me, and baby makes three, we're happy in my Blue Heaven.
When whippoorwills call and evening is nigh,
I hurry to my Blue Heaven.
Ya turn to the right; you find a little bright light,
That lead's you to my Blue Heaven.
You find a coffee place, a fireplace, a cosy room.
A little nest that nestles where the roses bloom.
Just Molly and me, and baby makes three, we're happy in my Blue Heaven
“In The Cool, Cool, Cool of the Evening”
Sue wants a barbecue; Sam wants to boil a ham, Grace votes for bouillabaisse too Jake wants a weenie bake, steak and the layer cake, And he'll get a tummy ache too. We'll rent a tent or a tepee, let the town crier cry. And if it's R.S.V.P., this is what I'll reply. In the cool, cool, cool of the evening; tell 'em I'll be there, In the cool, cool, cool of the evening, better save a chair. Oh, when the party's a-getting a glow on, and singing fills the air, In the shank of the night when the doing's all right, You can tell 'em I'll be there. Oh when the party's a-getting a glow on, and the singing fills the air, In the shank of the night when the doing's all right, You can tell them I'll be there. In the shank of the night when the doing's all right, You can tell them I'll be there.
“Auld Lang Syne”
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne? For auld lang syne, my dear for auld lang syne, We'll take a cup o' kindness yet for auld lang syne We twa hae run aboot the braes And pou'd the gowans fine; we've wander'd mony a weary foot Sin' auld lang syne We two hae paidled i' the burn, Frae mornin' sun till dine; But seas between us braid hae roar'd Sin' auld lang syne And here's a hand, my trusty friend, and gie's a hand o' thine; We'll take a cup o' kindness yet for auld lang syne. Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne? For auld lang syne, my dear for auld lang syne, We'll take a cup o' kindness yet for auld lang syne.
“Making Whoopee”
Another bride, another groom the countryside is all in bloom The flow'rs 'n trees is, The birds and bees is Making whoopie. The choir sings, "Here comes the bride" Another victim is at her side He's lost his reason 'Cause it's the season For making whoopee. Down through the countless ages, You'll find it ev'rywhere: Somebody makes good wages, Somebody wants her share. It's so he'll fall for Making whoopee. Another year, or maybe less What's this I hear? Or can't you guess? She feels neglected, And he's suspected Of making whoopee. She sits alone 'most ev'ry night He doesn't come home, or even write He says he's busy But she says, "Is he Making whoopee?" He doesn't make much money Five thousand dollars per; Some judge who thinks he's funny Says, "You pay six to her." He says, "Now judge, suppose I fail?" The judge says, "Bud, right into jail. You'd better keep her You'll find it cheaper Than making whoopee." Another bride Another groom Another sunny Honeymoon; Another season, Another reason For makin' whoopee. A quiet service, A lot of rice, The groom is nervous He answers twice. It's really killing That he's so willing To make whoopee. Picture a little lovenest Down where the roses cling Picture that same sweet lovenest Think what a year can bring. He's washing dishes And baby clothes He's so ambitious He even sews; But don't forget, boys That's what you get, boys For makin' whoopee.
“Mississippi Mud”
When the sun goes down, the tide goes out, the people stand around and they all begin to shout,
Hey! Hey! Uncle Dud, Hey! Hey! Uncle Dud, It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud. It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud. What a dance they all do! Lordy, how I'm tellin' you, Hey! Hey! Uncle Dud, It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud. It's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi Mud. They don't need no band, they keep time by clappin' their hand. Just as happy as a cow, chewin' on a cud, When the people beat their feet on the Mississippi Mud.
"Muskateer Drinking Song"
Come on in, Take off your skin, and rattle around in your bones.
“The Caissons Go Rolling Along”
Over hill, over dale as we hit the dusty trail,
And the Caissons go rolling along.
In and out, hear them shout,
Counter March and right about,
And the Caissons go rolling along.
Then it's hi! Hi! Hee! In the field artillery,
shout out your numbers loud and strong,
For where e'er you go, you will always know
That the Caissons go rolling along.
Over hill, over dale as we hit the dusty trail,
And the Caissons go rolling along.
In and out, hear them shout,
Counter March and right about,
And the Caissons go rolling along.
Then it's hi! Hi! Hee! In the field artillery,
shout out your numbers loud and strong,
For where e'er you go, you will always know
That the Caissons go rolling along
That the Caissons go rolling along
That the Caissons go rolling along.
“North Korean Blues”
Oh Tokyo, They got some saki, and sashimi, and some clean sheets, Oh, kimono, oh, kimono, Tokyo's the town that I love the best, East may be East, and West may be West, Forget about between, it'll drive you insane, And teach you things you never knew before.
“The Nurse Song”
And I wonder if they miss us, Now wouldn't that be funny? Now that we're without them we can hardly stand ourselves. Well it's funny when they're here how we take for granted the way they taste, the way they feel, their sight, their smell, their sound. And it's funny when they're gone just how bad we miss them and how life can be so empty when they're not around.
“Unrequited to the Nth Degree”
Oh when I die and it won't be long Then you're gonna be sorry that you treated me wrong. Yeah, you're gonna be sorry that you treated me bad And if there's an afterlife I'll gloat and I'll be glad.
“Five Gold Stars”
Well it's not Corregidor, you know it's only Korea, It's a lousy little war, but we'd still love to see ya,
And I'm sure we can scrounge up a beach, and you can splash in and give us a speech,
With your corncob pipe and your five gold stars.
“Big Mac Is Coming”
Big Mac is coming, he'll put an end to this war, oh the U.N. decided it was time for Mac to take it an encore, Oh how I yearn to hear Mac say "I shall return" once more.
There's a long, long night of waiting until my dreams all come true, Til the day when I'll be going down that long, long trail with you. There's a long, long trail a-winding into the land of my dreams, Where the nightingales are singing and a white moonbeams.
There's a long, long night of waiting until my dreams all come true, Til the day when I'll be coming down that long, long trail with you.
“All Dressed Up And No Place To Go”
When you're all dressed up and no place to go Life seems weary, dreary and slow. My heart has ached and bled for the tears I've shed, when I've no place to go unless I went back to bed. I've had a sad, sad life and whenever I go to that peaceful spot where the violets grow, Upon a nice white stone will be written below: "He was all dressed up and no place to go."
“You Oughta Be In Pictures”
You Oughta be in pictures, You’re wonderful to see, You oughta be in pictures, Oh what a hit you would be! Your voice would thrill a nation, Your face would be adored, You’d make a great sensation with wealth and fame your reward; And if you should kiss the way you kiss, When we’re alone, You’d make ev’ry girl & man A fan worshiping at your throne. You oughta shine as brightly As Jupiter and Mars; You oughta be in pictures, My star of stars.
“Korean war Lullaby”
By-low, baby, By-low, baby, By-low, baby, By-low, baby, by, Daddy still loves you, daddy still loves you, Daddy still loves you though he's gone to war.
“I'm Afraid to Come Home in the Dark”
Jonesy married Mabel; a wise old owl was he; He told his wife he never drank a stronger thing than tea. But after honeymooning, at night he stayed away and for a week he never got home till the break of day. At last poor Mabel asked the reason why Said Jones, "I'm going to tell the truth or die! Baby dear, listen here, I'm afraid to come home in the dark! Every day the papers say A robbery in the park So I sat alone in the Y.M.C.A. Singing just like a lark: 'There's no place like home!' But I couldn't come home in the dark!" That night after dinner he bade his wife adieu She said, "Oh no, it's dark, and so, I'm going to go with you". But somehow Jonesy shook her, for he was smooth as silk. He got home just in time to meet the man that brought the milk. His wife was waiting for him on the stair, While Jonesy and the milkman sang this air: "Baby dear, shhh, listen here, I'm afraid to come home in the dark! Ev'ry day the papers say a robbery in the park. So I sat all alone in the Y.M.C.A. Singing just like a lark 'There's no place like home!' But I couldn't come home in the dark!" She kissed him good morning; to see him she was glad and when she tucked him up in bed Jones said, "I guess I'm bad!" Next day, the same old story, he came home just at dawn. But he got sober right away when he found she was gone! At noon he heard her slam the garden gate. She said to Jonesy, "Is my hat on straight? Honey dear, listen here, I'm afraid to come home in the dark! Every day the papers say a robbery in the park so I sat alone in the C.A.F.E. Singing just like a lark 'There's no place like home!' But I couldn't come home in the dark!"
“Potter’s Shower Song”
I love to go swimming with bow-legged women, and swim between their legs, Swim between their legs...
"Keep the Home Fires Burning"
They were called in from the hillside they were summoned from the glen, And the country found them ready, at the stirring call for: "Men". Let no tears add to their hardships, as the soldiers pass along, And although your hearts are breaking, you must sing this cheery song:
Keep the home fires burning, while your hearts are yearning, Though the lads are far away they dream of home, There's a silver lining through the dark clouds shining, Turn the dark clouds inside out 'til the boys come home.
Overseas there came a pleading, help a nation in distress, And we gave our valiant laddies; honour bade us do no less For no gallant son of Britain to a foreign yoke shall bend, And no Englishman is silent to the sacred call of: "Friend".
“Dona Nobis Pacem”
Dona nobis pacem, pacem
Dona nobis pacem
Dona nobis pacem, pacem
Dona nobis pacem
“Mulcahy's 1st Korean War Song”
Oh my dear, I can't wait to see ya, but I'm here in South Korea. The picture you sent was quite an eyeful, I taped it to my trusty rifle.
"2nd Korean War Song"
There's no one singing war songs now like people used to do, No "Over There," no "Praise the Lord," no "Glory Hallelu." Perhaps at last we've asked ourselves what we should have asked before, With the pain and death this madness brings, what were we ever singing for?
“Molly Malone”
In Dublin's fair city where the girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone,
She wheeled a wheel barrel through streets broad and narrow, Crying "cockles and mussels alive alive oh."
Alive alive oh alive alive oh, Crying "cockles and mussels, alive alive oh."
She was a fishmonger and that was no wonder, For so were her father and mother before,
They each wheeled their barrels through streets broad and narrow,Crying "cockles and mussels alive alive oh." Alive alive oh alive alive oh Crying "cockles and mussels, alive alive oh."
(Original) She died of a fever and no one could save her And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone Now her ghost wheels her barrow Through streets broad and narrow Crying "Cockles and mussels alive, alive oh" Alive alive oh alive alive oh Crying "cockles and mussels, alive alive oh."
“You're The Top”
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic That I always have found it best, Instead of getting 'em off my chest, To let 'em rest unexpressed. I hate parading my serenading As I'll probably miss a bar, But if this ditty is not so pretty, At least it'll tell you how great you are. You're the top! You're the Colosseum, You're the top! You're the Louvre Museum, You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss, You're a Bendel bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, You're Mickey Mouse. You're the Nile,
"You're the Tow'r of Pisa, You're the smile on the Mona Lisa. I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop, But if, Baby, I'm the bottom, You're the top!"
Your words poetic are not pathetic On the other hand, boy, you shine And I can feel after every line A thrill divine down my spine. Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans Might think that your song is bad, But for a person who's just rehearsin' Well I gotta say this my lad You're the top! You're Mahatma Ghandi. You're the top! You're Napolean brandy. You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain, You're the National Gall'ry, You're
I was waltzing with my darlin' to the Tennessee Waltz, When an old Friend I happened to see, Introduced him to my loved one and while they were waltzing, My friend stole my sweetheart from me. I remember the night and the Tennessee Waltz, Now I know just how much I have lost, Yes, I lost my little darlin' the night they were playing The beautiful Tennessee Waltz.
Mulcahy: A chaplain in the Army has a collar on his neck
if you don't listen to him you'll all wind up in heck.
Oh I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
Hawk & BJ: Oh the surgeons in the Army they say we're mighty bright
We work on soldiers through the day and nurses through the night.
Oh I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
Potter: Friendships in the Army they say are mighty rare,
So I spend all my free time carousing with my mare.
Oh I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
The Nurses: The surgeons in the Army, they're bright, they are profound, But we'll take chopper pilots they'll get you off the ground.
Oh I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
Radar: The corporals in the Army you say we're really green,
But if it weren't for us guys you'd be in the latrine.
Oh I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
Klinger: Oh some guys like the Army I think that it's a mess,
If it's so damn terrific how come I wear a dress?
Oh I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
Margaret: Oh some nurses in the Army they haven't tied the knot,
But this one's gonna try it with Donald Penobscott.
Oh I don't want no more of Army life, Gee Ma, I wanna go,
But they won't let me go, Gee Ma, I wanna go home!
Frank: Oh Hawkeye and oh B.J., they think they're pretty smart;
I'd like to take a scalpel and stab them in the heart.
This is fun Oh I don’t want no more of army life…
gee ma I wanna go home.
When love comes in and takes you for a spin, Oo la la la, c'est magnifique. When every night, your loved one holds you tight, Oo la la la, c'est magnifique. But when one day, your loved one drifts away, Oo la la la, it is so tragique. But when once more she whispers "Je t'adore"
C'est magnifique.
“Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine Thou art lost and gone forever, Dreadful sorry, Clementine.” Light she was and like a fairy, and her shoes were number nine, Herring boxes without topses Sandals were for Clementine. “Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine Thou art lost and gone forever, Dreadful sorry, Clementine.” Drove she ducklings to the water every morning just at nine, Hit her foot against a splinter Fell into the foaming brine. “Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine Thou art lost and gone forever, Dreadful sorry, Clementine.” Ruby lips above the water, Blowing bubbles soft and fine, But alas, I was no swimmer, so I lost my Clementine.
“Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine Thou art lost and gone forever, Dreadful sorry, Clementine.” Then the miner, forty-niner soon began to peak and pine, Thought he oughter jine he daughter, Now he's with his Clementine.
“Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine Thou art lost and gone forever, Dreadful sorry, Clementine.” In my dreams she still doth haunt me, Robed in garments soaked in brine; though in life I used to hug her, now she's dead, I draw the line.
