E.T.
I think a lot of people will be glad to see the back of this little beast. I cannot understand why he was ever appealing to anyone, thus, he is the first thing I'm putting into room 404.
UNIX.
Again, its staggering the amount of praise UNIX gets. It seems to me people just like to make fun of windows, without any good reason, as there is no better designed or more user friendly operating system out there.
The speed of light
May seem an odd choice, but I've always been irritated by the fact that one cannot exceed the speed of light. I was in a relativity lecture when this occurred to me. I'd rather we had the ability to travel hundreds of light years away than travel forward or backward in time (if the scientists are right about the wormholes). If the ability arrives, I predict that it'll be outlawed. Only now, since 'c' is in room 404, we can be at alpha centauri by teatime.
Every single bloody king naming himself after his father.
I know, I know, whats the relevance of something like that? Well, its probably just me being contrary. I just think people should keep their name when they become king/queen, like prince charles wanting to call himself king george. It's stupid. Also, can we stop having popes called Jhon-Paul? It's not even particularly biblical-sounding.
'Resealable' packets.
They aren't.
The phonetic alphabet.
One thing that really annoys me is people who think things should be pronounced how they're spelt. The people who think we should get rid of all the silent letters, resolve all the c's and k's, etc. This is a load of rubbish, and their weapon, the phonetic alphabet, belongs very rightly in room 404. (This is very quickly just becoming a page for me to complain on. I hope someone else submits something!)
Chimpanzees.
Ok, I admit it, they scare me. Even though the worst evil of all is cruelty to animals, dropping them into room 404: doesen't actually injure them. Much.
Bananas.
I don't particularly dislike bananas, in fact, they are really quite nice, unless you cook them. I just put them in room 404: because I was starting to feel sorry for the chimps. Given that they now have food, and there's a very large number of them, they may end up producing a rather accurate copy of Richard the Third. Who, as we already know, belongs in room 404: as well.
Robbie Williams.
I didn't want to clutter room 404: up with annoying celebrities lest it get boring, so I let myself just have one or two for now. Besides, This fellow can safely be considered to come under the heading of 'chimpanzees' above. Anyway, what a jaw-droppingly annoying and talentless goon. What kind of people buy his 'music' anyway? I think I've met one person ever who actually paid good money for a Robbie Williams album, and she didn't like it very much herself.
The Caps Lock ButTON:
Eugh. How can one keyboard key cause so very much stress to so many people? Now, everyone gets annoyed with people who TYPE IN CAPITALS ALL THE TIME. It's intimidating, rude, and annoying. Take away the enemy's weapon, and you take away the enemy. I've also been coming across a certain type of keyboard of late, where if you try to press 'a' nine times out of ten you hit caps lock as well. Maybe we can put a new button in the gap. Any ideas?
Rap "music".
If you want to break in the music industry, but have no talent or any artistic vision whatsoever, there are three paths open to you.
1) Go on a Tv band manufacturing show, and be as bland as possible. You will win, and be famous across the country for 2.4 seconds.
2) Learn to talk an incomprehensible and ridiculous sounding form of the english language, and you will be elligable to become a Dj. Really! no qualifications needed, just a lack of imagination and no respect whatsoever for whoevers artwork you happen to be defacing.
3) Rap.
In order to become adept in this third catagory, imagine that you are a young child, who has learnt english from watching a fast forwarded videotape of Mr. Bean. Next, pull letters out of a scrabble bag, and shout the results into a microphone. You now have the basic elements of a rap. Now, write a poorly (or not even) rhyming poem about how you have seventy-eight girlfriends, and regularly hit them with an iron pole, and that, despite your engaging them in a firefight, and committing many heinous offences, the police are in fact, in the wrong. Be careful to avoid melody and origionality, as they will diminish your chances in the industry.
Something clearly has to be done about this aural atrocity. And now, it has. Hurrah!
Badly Done Topical Comedy.
Osama Bin Laden is NOT FUNNY. If I see another web based game based around him, or, indeed, Saddam Hussein, then I will, um, be very irritated by it. The amount of poor comedy has risen recently, and most of it seems to revolve around figures such as these. Its a shame, because good satire is often very funny.