The lucky winner this month, sponsered by Remy, is:
Autumn!
We took this rare oppertunity to quiz this most sombre of seasons with some of our reader's frequently asked questions.
Where do you get your ideas from?
I am reminded of something I heard at a tube station the other day. Baker street, I believe. A small homeless child was playing a broken toy accordion, in the hope that some kind soul would provide her with a few coppers for something to eat... so many business people in suits getting off trains in such a hurry to be somewhere... not a single one of them giving a moment's thought to the poor little thing. And then, one of them gave her his lunch.
Thats the kind of thing that inspires me. Thats what Autumn's all about.
Do you consider yourself more important than the other seasons, because you host several important festivals?
They aren't that important, are they? Well, halloween is fun. The americans really love that one for some reason. Bonfire night isn't much fun to be responsible for, though. To be honest I'd rather just deal with the sensible things, like the nut-gathering and leaf-killing.
If you could meet any character from history, who would it be?
Hmm... I would love to meet Shakespeare, or Isaac Newton, so I could apologise for the apple. Or he could thank me for it. Whatever.
If you were an episode of Mr Bean, what would you be called?
"It's Autumn, Mr. Bean."; I suppose. More imaginative? Umm... "Follow the Firework Code, Mr. Bean."? "Penny for the Guy, Mr. Bean"? "Start Wearing Your Socks in Bed, Mr. Bean"? "Put the Clocks Back, or Humerous Chaos Will Ensue when You Get Up Late, Mr. Bean". Hey, some of those are pretty good.
If you ever got bored of your job, what other career path would you follow?
I'm happy with my position, of course- but I'd love a chance to see the world a bit more. I woulden't mind being one of those food and wine critics... thats an easy life, isn't it? I'd still write poetry on the side though.
Do you have any pets?
Well, I used to have an Irish wolf hound. I named it Ghost. Come to think of it, I've no idea what happened to him.
Have you got any tips for someone who wants to get involved in the type of work that you do?
Well, you can't have too many dead leaves. Many argue that Autumn is the most beautiful of all seasons, (I'm flattered by that although I'm not sure its true. I try to easy on the rain, but its just nessecary most of the time) and its the vibrant colours are the reason for that. And don't forget to let the nuts ripen, or the squirrels will all die. And don't worry about halloween; people can sort that out themselves. It's nothing to do with me anyway.
Have you ever had any major arguments or creative disagreements with your colleagues?
Oh, nothing you don't already know. Winter is a pretentious snob, Spring is talented, but a tedious conversationalist. Summer is just insane. Of course, we're all the best of friends; I'm not much more than a whining so-and-so myself.
Thankyou for taking the time out of your busy schedule to come and talk to us. We hope you will visit us again!
Oh, I'm sure I'll be free. Its all the same in the end anyway, isn't it?