Hunter

by Leia

Prologue

With one light on in one room

I know you’re up when I get home

With one small step upon the stair

I know your look when I get there

If you were a king up there on your throne

Would you be wise enough to let me go?

For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter again

Wants to see the world alone again

To take a chance on life again

So let me go

The unread book and painful look

The TV’s on

The sound is down

One long pause

Then you begin

“Oh look what that cat’s brought in”

If you were a king up there on your throne

Would you be wise enough to let me go?

For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter again

Wants to see the world alone again

To take a chance on life again

So let me go

Let me leave

For this crown you’ve placed upon my head

Feels too heavy now

And I don’t know what to say to you

But I’ll smile anyhow

And all the time I’m thinking, thinking

I want to be a hunter again

I want to see the world alone again

To take a chance on life again

So let me go

~*~Hunter by Dido~*~

I never meant to hurt him... I mean, I did love him, but not the way that he needed to be loved. Not the way he demanded to be loved, and deserved, I might add. I grew to resent him. Why, I wasn’t sure. I just resented him.

I never ever really dated anyone else. It was always him. Sure, there were other men, but they were just stops along the road... Jack, AJ, Sean, Eric... they were all nice, but they weren’t my soulmate...

But since when do you stop loving and start hating your soulmate? When do you start questioning the fact that you’re soulmates? The “fact”. Fact or fiction? The thoughts ran through my head everyday. The very idea pulsed through my existence, making it hard for me to sleep at night... especially beside him.

So I stopped. Not thinking and exploring the thoughts, but I stopped sleeping beside him. I’d make an excuse of falling asleep on the couch. Or of having to work late in the office, and falling asleep in the guest room so not to disturb him. At first, he bought into my lies. He naively believed them. He never wanted to buy into reality... especially when it hurt too much.

Then, I began to not come home at all. I’d stay over at Sara’s because we had gotten too drunk during one of her get-togethers, or I’d suddenly visit Bessie for the weekend. He began to suspect something. He began to accuse me of sleeping with someone else. It wasn’t true. I had been completely faithful... in a sense. How can you be faithful to a person when you don’t even know if you love them anymore? How can you be faithful to a man who calls you his soulmate when you’re questioning your destiny? When you question your very decision of marrying him...

I know I have to tell him... but I don’t know how. Its going to crush him... I don’t know about him, but I’ve known its been over for a long time. It was just a matter of time.

Now its just a matter of time before I tell him.