Hunter

By Leia

Part 4

Inside my skin there is this space

It twists and turns

It bleeds and aches

Inside my heart there’s an empty room

Its waiting for lightening

Its waiting for you

And I am wanting

And I am needing you here

Inside this absence of fear

Muscle and sinew

Velvet and stone

This vessel is haunted

It creaks and moans

My bones call to you

In their seperate skin

I make myself transluscent

To let you in, for

I am wanting

And I am needing you here

Inside this absence of fear

There is this hunger

This restlessness inside of me

And it knows you’re no stranger

You’re my gravity

My hands will adore you through all the darkness aim

They will lay you out in the moonlight

And reinvent your name

I am wanting

And I am needing you here

Inside this absence of fear

~*~Absence of Fear by Jewel~*~

They sat in a slight awkward silence on the couch as they watched some morning show.

“Do you have to go to work or something?” Joey asked, breaking the silence.

“No, I get today off, coincidentally enough,” Pacey said with a smile.

Joey smiled back at him. She had missed him a lot. She always seemed to be at her most relaxed state when she was with Pacey, despite the obvious awkwardness.

“So, what do you want to do?” Joey asked, fiddling with the remote.

“I don’t know, you’re the guest,” Pacey said teasingly.

“Oh God, don’t pull this third grade guest crap,” Joey groaned. “You pick now, of all times, to pick up some manners.”

“Fine! We can go visit Jen and-slash-or Jack.”

“And-slash-or? Interesting, Pacey...”

“Hush up, Josephine.”

He threw her coat at her after he put on his own.

“Get your butt moving,” he ordered.

“Now this is the Pacey I love to hate,” Joey said with a smirk.

“Har, har.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Hey, George,” Pacey said to the doorman.

“Hello, Mr. Witter,” George returned. “Miss Lindley has been expecting you.”

“Oh really?” Pacey said, looking at Joey questioningly.

Joey just shrugged. She didn’t tell Jen anything. Hell, she had talked to Jen in eons.

“Yes,” John said. “Go on up.”

Joey and Pacey rode the elevator up to Jen’s apartment on the fifth floor. They reached her door, and Pacey knocked. He motioned for Joey to stand behind him, and she did after rolling her eyes.

He smirked.

Still the same Joey Potter.

Jen finally answered, with music blaring as she opened the door to her apartment.

“Never did get over that angry chick music faze, did you?” he asked.

Jen placed her hands on her hips.

“If you expect me to help you with Cici, you better be a little more agreeable.”

“Cici?”

“Yeah, she called, asking me to gather her stuff from your place, and I figured you guys had another fight.”

Joey furrowed her brow in confusion.

Who’s Cici?

“Yeah, well we did have a fight,” Pacey admitted guiltily, realizing he had nearly forgotten. “But that’s not the reason I’m here.”

“Oh?”

“No, I bring to you a face from the past. May I present Miss Josephine Potter...”

He stepped aside, revealing a smiling Joey. Jen’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God!” she said with a grin, enveloping Joey in a hug. “I haven’t seen you since you moved into the house!”

“I know, its been awhile,” Joey said with a sigh.

“Well, come in!”

Jen ushered them into her apartment. It was a good-sized, modernly decorated apartment. It was very nice, although not nearly as nice as Pacey’s. It was completely Jen, though, Joey had noted. She motioned for them to sit down.

“Wow, this place is really great,” Joey complimented.

“Thanks,” Jen said, heading towards the kitchen. “You guys want something to eat or drink?”

“No, thanks, I just ate breakfast,” Joey said, patting her stomach humorously.

“Me too,” Pacey said, laughing a little bit.

Jen came out with a glass of orange juice for herself and sat next to Joey on the couch.

“So, how’s Dawson?” Jen asked.

Joey sighed. Why was that the first question everyone always asked her? She gave Pacey a slight look.

“Um, Dawson and I are getting a divorce,” Joey said quietly.

Jen eyes widened.

“Wh-what?”

“Dawson and I are getting a divorce.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was my decision.”

“I don’t mean to pry... but why?”

“It just... didn’t work out.”

Jen knew there was more, but she wouldn’t press Joey, especially in front of Pacey. She knew how tense things were between them.

“So, where you are staying?” Jen asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Well, I stayed at Pacey’s last night, because the bastard canceled our credit cards, and tonight-”

“-Tonight she’s staying with me, again,” Pacey cut in.

Joey turned to Pacey.

“You don’t have to-”

“Please, Josephine, you’re not going to stay in some seedy hotel in New York City. You’ll get eaten alive.”

“I hardly call the Hilton ‘seedy’.”

“It’ll take you forever to find an apartment. Do you really want to pay Hilton prices for who-knows-how-many weeks?”

Joey sighed.

“Fine, you win.”

Jen bit back a grin. Yes, it was all a little too clear for her.

“Jack’s going to be over in a little bit,” Jen said, interrupting the familiar banter.

“I haven’t seen Jack in ages!” Joey said excitedly.

Pacey grinned at her childlike anticipation.

“I haven’t talked to Jackers in a little while, myself,” he added in.

“Why don’t we all go out for coffee or something?” Jen suggested.

“Ah, just like old times,” Joey said with a grin.

Pacey and Jen laughed.

“When Jack and I used to work at Barnes & Noble’s,” Jen said with a laugh.

“And Pacey used to request the strangest books just to give you a hard time,” Joey added.

“Hey! I actually needed those books!” Pacey cried out in defense.

“Oh, I’m sure you needed books on anthropology, Pacey,” Jen said, rolling her eyes.

“Those were simpler times,” Joey said quietly, portraying some emotion she hadn’t meant to.

Pacey put his arm around her.

“Yeah, those were,” he said softly.

*~*~*~*~*~*

They had spent all day together with Jen and Jack. At around three, Jen had to get ready to meet a client for dinner, and Jack had a date at five. Joey hadn’t been in New York for a while, and Pacey decided to take her to Central Park. It was a cold, clear day in November. It was crisp and still, and you could just feel like you could breathe better. Joey hugged her coat closer as they walked along.

Pacey watched her carefully. The whole day, she had put up this happy front. She seemed as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Just happy-go-lucky Joey Potter. But he saw beyond her mask. Beyond that mask, he saw grief, stress, confusion... a whole mass of emotions.

“Joey?” Pacey asked.

“Hmm?”

“Why are you and Dawson getting a divorce?” he asked.

It was a simple question. It, however, did not have a simple answer. Joey hesitated.

“You can tell me, Jo,” he said softly.

Joey looked at him. She realised that she could still tell him anything... for one main reason. He wouldn’t judge her, and he would still care no matter what she said. If only more people in her life were like that.

“So many reasons...” Joey began. “We just... didn’t click anymore. It was monotonous... the same thing everyday. I grew to resent our lifestyle... to resent him. And, it was like I didn’t even want to be around him... or me... I knew I had to get out of there. Its like our entire relationship was sucking the life out of me.”

Pacey nodded, taking in the explanation.

“Do you still love him?”

Joey looked straight ahead.

“I told him that I don’t...” she said softly.

He stopped and took her by the shoulders, trying to get her to look at him.

“Did you mean it?” he implored.

She looked up to meet his eyes. Their breath contrasted in white puffy clouds against the cold afternoon. She knew that he wouldn’t criticize her because of her answer... the only answer that she had.

“I don’t know.”