Authors note: the song writing of Gwen Stefani, the lead singer of No Doubt, inspires this work. If you have not been fortunate enough to hear them play live, I highly recommend that you run to your nearest ticket outlet and catch the end of their tour. This song is taken from the “Return Of Saturn” CD, which can be purchased, or sampled, at www.nodoubt.com. So, thanks to Gwen for giving me the idea for this story. And as usual, I do not own any of these lovely people.

Category: Pacey and Joey/ PG-13

Summary: After avoiding any complications in her life, Joey begins to realize that the one thing she needs is really very simple.

Any and all feedback is welcome at witter_babe@hotmail.com

Joey lightly stroked the skin of the man lying serenely next to her. The moonlight peeked through her bedroom window, illuminating his skin, making the whole moment seem surreal. She pulled the sheet closer to her, snuggling against his nude, warm skin. Over his shoulder she could see the picture setting on her dresser, and it tugged at her heart. It made her remember a time less complicated, when all she needed in the world where her two best friends. Until she fell for one of them.

For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn’t work out, I’m covered in shells

When it inevitably ended, as first loves often do, the other stood by her and helped scrape up the broken pieces of their friendship. He became the glue that held the trio together. In the process, he fell in love with her and she with him. But it wasn’t something she wanted. He was the opposite of her first love, and she was certain that he could not give her a happily ever after. She broke his heart.

And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife

Her heart ached for the pain she was causing him, but the idea of them was not practical. They did not make sense. Until she found out he was leaving, and suddenly everything made sense. What right did she have to ask him to stay, though? She had walked away from him, letting him think he wasn’t good enough for her…

I’m so ashamed, I’ve been so mean
I don’t know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I’m hunting you down

And when he asked her to give him a reason to stay, and she couldn’t…or more truthfully, she wouldn’t, the look of pain in his eyes never left her memory. Nor did it leave his. When she risked everything that she had ultimately thought she desired and went to him, begging him to stay and repair their friendship, his eyes looked upon her with such disgust that she had thought she had lost everything.

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight

After a few years had passed, their friendship slowly began to mend, minus the other member of their trio. As the years progressed, they grew closer and closer, until one night things went too far.

And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

And when she woke up in his arms, she told herself that it was just sex, and that was all it could ever be between them. Her actions did not allow him to think anything other than that, and so they went on.

If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?

She quietly slipped out of her bed, wrapping her silk robe around her. She moved to the open French doors and walked out onto the balcony overlooking the ocean. Her heart ached for the things that she did not have. Quietly bowing her head, she allowed her tears to fall. They certainly weren’t the first, nor would they be the last.

I always thought I’d be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you’d be a good dad

How did things get so complicated? Her hand slid down to her flat tummy, and she squeezed her eyes tight, trying to imagine a tiny form moving inside of her. The baby would have his eyes and hair. Her nose and mouth. Both of their sarcastic wit. How she longed for that baby, how she longed to make things right.

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How’d I get so faithful to my freedom?

Her eyes swung back to the man sleeping in her bed, amidst all the pillows and the down comforter. Somehow he fit there; somehow he fit in her life. She moved towards him soundlessly, kneeling on the floor beside the bed. Her hand reached out to touch his smooth face.

A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

“Baby,” she whispered softly, pressing her lips to his cheek.

His eyes struggled open, still thick with sleep. A smile flickered across his face once his gaze focused on her. “What are you doing up?” He propped himself on his elbow wearily.

She reached for his hand, pulling it to her. “I’ve been thinking about things. About everything.”

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh, really?” His hand stroked her skin.

Her brown eyes filled with more tears and she did not bother to hide them. “What I did when we were young was wrong and I never admitted it. After all these years, you have stood by me unselfishly, being my friend, my confidant, and my lover. You have never asked any questions.”

He started to speak but she cut him off.

“No, please.” She took a deep breath. “I need to say this now, or I fear I never will. I love you. I loved you then, I love you now, and I will always love you.”

His startled eyes caught hers, boring deep into them, searching for the truth she was trying to explain.

“I have been wrong, stupid and selfish to allow you to think all this time that you have been nothing more to me than this,” she waved her hand over the bed, indicating their sexual encounters. “And I have come to realize that I am missing out on the best thing in my life. You.”

“Joey,” he whispered softly, wiping tears from her cheek.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way for me. In fact,” she took a strangled breath, “I don’t even blame you if you want to throw this back in my face.”

He shook his head no, pulling her up to the bed with him, sitting up and wrapping his strong arms around her. She reveled in his touch.

“What I am trying to say is that I have made things so complicated, when what I want is actually very simple.” She looked down at her hands, and back into his eyes. Taking his face between her hands, she whispered, “All I want is you. Just you.”

He pulled her in closer, kissing her with an abandoned passion that she hadn’t felt since she sixteen. Her heart pounded and she felt dizzy, sinking into his embrace.

“I always thought you’d be a good dad,” she said softly, a gentle smile stretching her lips.

He leaned his head away from hers in surprise. “A dad?” He whispered.

She nodded, taking his hand and placing it on her tummy. “And I always thought I’d be a mom, and at times, I even caught myself praying for a mistake.”

Tears filled his eyes as he blinked them away. “Joey, are you telling me that we are having a baby?”

“Yes,” she took his other hand and pressed it to her face, kissing it, feeling her own tears flow more rapidly.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, crushing her body to him. His mouth moved over hers, his tongue licking her lips, gently requesting entrance. She melted into him as a deep moan escaped his throat. “I love you, Josephine. I love you so much,” he repeated it over and over, kissing her mouth, her neck, her shoulders, her hair.

“I love you, too, Pacey,” she breathed into his mouth as he pressed her back into the pillows.

“We’re going to be a family,” he pulled back for a moment, speaking these words to her with a sparkle in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in a long time.

She nodded. “It’s everything I want, Pacey. It’s all I want.”

He stroked her cheek softly. “Then if this is what we both want it certainly couldn’t have been a mistake.” He smiled, brushing her lips once again.

“Everything is so simple now,” she whispered. “It’s you, Pacey, it’s always been you.”

He moved down, pressing his lips to her stomach. “And now it is going to be us.”

She touched her stomach as well, feeling the warmth of his kiss. “Make love to me, Pacey. Let me show you how much I love you.”

He stretched his body back up over hers, letting his weight partially rest on her, the rest on his side. His hands slid under her robe, feeling the bare skin underneath. He pulled it away from her body, exposing her skin to his eyes and she felt a scorching heat surge through her body as his eyes caressed her.

Bringing his gaze back to hers, he pushed her hair away from his face. “I love you, Joey.”

“I love you, Pacey.” She pulled his mouth to hers and all the tension and hurt that had nestled itself deep inside her flowed out through her limbs. She felt light and loved, and for the first time in many years, completely happy. She was going to have what she had always wanted and needed. A simple kind of life.