Author: Python Chick
Disclaimer: I own Jade, Rowan,
Jake, Sam, Dianté, Kremlin, and the children: Liam Harris, Erin Harris, and
Grace Wyndham-Pryce. The rest belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.
Finished: November 25, 2000
~~ Angel's Destiny ~~
~~ Prologue ~~
Almost a century had passed since
Wesley first read the prophecy to me. I was going to become human...all I had
to do was survive the coming darkness, the apocalyptic battles, a few plagues,
and several fiends that were unleashed on Earth. The thing that got me through
all that crap, was knowing that I would be human. But at the same time I wished
for death. The love of my life and unlife, Buffy, had surely passed on and I
wanted to be with her in the afterlife. I'd never seen her again since she
retired from being the Slayer on her 26th birthday. She didn't see me, but I
came to Sunnydale and peered through Giles' windows, wanting so badly to go
inside and hold her and kiss her. But I couldn't hurt her again. I kept that
memory with me through all the battles and plagues and it kept me sane...no,
she kept me sane.
I'm sure she moved on, got married, probably had a couple of kids...and it
hurts to think about it. Not that I'm not happy for her...I'm glad she was able
to continue on with her life. But I wanted to be hers forever...I wanted to
hold her and love her and talk to her and tell her that it killed me to leave
her and that I never would again. But I wasn't. I never moved on. I loved her
more everyday and I still love her.
Sure there were other girls that stirred my interest...but I never acted on my
feelings because I didn't want them. It was lust, not love. Every one of them
looked like Buffy, and when I saw them smiling or laughing, I wanted to walk up
to them and hold them, just as I did with her. But I didn't...I lurked in the
shadows and obsessed over them until it drove me crazy and I had to leave LA.
There were too many reminders of her beautiful face and her wonderful scent...not
perfume, but the scent of her soft skin mixed with her shimmering hair. And of
course the smell of her blood. It was strong and defined, like no girl ever
before. I hate to admit it, but I also loved that. What can I say? Vampires
notice that stuff too.
After my friends started aging, Angel investigations closed down and I started
working on my own. Gunn had been attacked by a poisonous demon and died an hour
later in his sleep. He was still very young, only about 25, and he had gone out
to help someone without Wesley. I was in Sunnydale skulking around Buffy's
'retirement' party. Cordy and Wesley told me repeatedly that I should go see
her but I wish I hadn't...I wish I had been with Gunn and could've prevented
his death, but I was selfish.
Cordelia and Xander married shortly after he came to LA to find her.
Surprisingly enough, I was best man since I was the one to call him and tell
him where to find her. She was in an abusive relationship and couldn't get
out...I tried to help her but she didn't want my help and we got into a big
fight about it and she never spoke to me. Dennis couldn't help her either,
since her boyfriend knew about him and therefore never hit her in her
apartment. She moved out of there and into his, and naturally I wasn't invited
by either of them so I couldn't stop him. That's when Xander came to the
rescue. He didn't need an invitation, he just needed me to break down the door
for him, and then he found her in the bedroom crying and bruised. One look at
his face and she was packed and ready to leave. They had two children: a boy
named, Liam, after me; and a girl, Erin. I hate to use a cliché, but they
actually lived happily ever after. Their children grew up, started families and
Xander and Cordy passed away years later, surrounded by loved ones.
Wesley married Virginia Bryce and they moved to England. He began working for
the watcher's council and Virginia became a teacher. I visited a couple times
but we grew apart when they had a baby girl, Grace, and Virginia felt
uncomfortable with me being around the new arrival. Wesley and I wrote letters
but they lost the baby when it was only a few weeks old. Virginia broke down
and claimed it was my fault--that I had infected the baby with death--so she
forbade Wesley to contact me. He knew it wasn't my fault as explained in the
last letter he wrote, but Virginia was heartbroken and it helped her cope to
place the blame on me. We left it at that, after all, I help people...right?
So anyway, I left California and traveled around the world. I must have been to
every country besides Sweden...too many blondes. The longest I'd lived in one
place was in Canada. The people were nice enough...they didn't pry into my life
while I saved theirs from vampires, demons, and other creatures bent on their
demise. Although centuries had passed, people were generally the same lost
souls as they were before. The clothing styles had changed and repeated a few
times over the many years and it seemed as if they were on a loop...Cordelia
would have died, again. There were many promises of them, but the anticipated
'flying cars' had not yet been patented. The summers were sunny and beautiful,
and winters were dark and dreary...the latter being my ideal season since I
couldn't feel the cold and didn't tan. I never did encounter the new slayer,
although I wasn't really looking for her. I couldn't handle not having Buffy
around. I met up with a couple good demons and we helped people and saved the
world, then one day I just woke up with a heartbeat and an insatiable hunger...I
was alive. I kept the name Angel and moved back to Sunnydale. My friends also
left Canada and moved to various parts of the world. After a while we lost
touch as I started making new, human friends and going out more. I finally felt
that I would slowly be able to live without Buffy now that I was human.
~~ Chapter One ~~
So there I was, out with a couple of friends at The Den, formerly known as The
Bronze, having a drink and listening to the music. They were looking at the
girls on the dance floor and talking about which ones were the hottest. It had
taken me a while to find the strength to go back there without Buffy.
"Angel, that is one fine girl checking you out...and she's coming this
way." my friend, Jake told me. My other friend, Sam, slapped me on the
back as I took a sip of my beer. I nearly choked as I coughed and gasped for
oxygen. When I had regained my ability to breathe, I looked up and saw the girl
walking over to me. She was tall, young and had long black hair. She was
wearing a long black skirt and a light blue top...very sexy.
"Hi handsome. I'm Jade," she said sitting down beside me at the bar.
My friends left me and went to go sit at a table. "I haven't seen you
around here before...where're you from?" She flashed a sexy smile and it
was then that I realized the fact that it had been almost a hundred years since
I had last been with a woman...Buffy.
I suddenly felt very nervous. "I'm from Ireland...originally, I mean...but
I moved here a while ago...then to LA...then to Canada...then back here. I'm
Angel." I said looking down shyly at my mug of beer.
"You certainly are," she said grinning. I felt her eyes on me and she
spoke up just as a slow song started playing. "Let's dance."
"Um, okay," I said smiling nervously. *I used to be so good at
this...at least when I was around Buffy.* I thought to myself. *I can't think
about her, a have to move on...she would have wanted me to be happy.*
Jade put her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her. I placed my hands
on her waist and she laid her head down on my chest. I took a deep breath at
the sudden closeness and I smelled her perfume. It was absolutely wonderful. I
looked over at Jake and Sam. They were giving me the thumbs up and whistling
quietly. I stifled a laugh.
"So, how old are you?" she asked, still keeping her head on my chest.
"I'm 28," I answered, a little more relaxed. I was 27 when I was
vamped so I decided that I should continue from that age when I became human
again. "How about you?"
"22," she answered sighing heavily. I didn't know if she was flirting
or serious but in all of my years of helping people, a sigh usually meant
trouble.
"What's wrong?" I asked sincerely. I heard her sniffling and I
realized that she was crying. We stopped dancing and went to go sit at a table
so we could talk quietly. After an hour or so, and five beers later, she was a
little tipsy and very open. I wasn't drunk since I had only had three beers...I
could handle my alcohol over two hundred years ago, and I could still handle it
now. Jake and Sam had left a while ago, probably having hooked up with a couple
of girls.
"It's my boyfriend," she blurted out. "Well, my ex-boyfriend. He
dumped me a while ago because he didn't understand the seriousness of my
job."
"He dumped you because of your job?" I asked incredulously. She
quietly nodded.
"He doesn't understand that it's an obligation, not a choice." she
said, slurring a little on her S's. *Uh-oh,* I thought. *This sounds way too
familiar.*
"Maybe you should go home," I suggested softly. "I think you
might have had a little too much to drink." I said.
"No!" she said. "That's where he lives. I've been staying at my
friend's house, but she left this morning to Chicago. She's visiting her
folks."
"Um, well, y-you could stay at a motel," I stuttered, I didn't like
where this was going.
"No, my job doesn't pay me money," she said. "And my boyfriend
took care of me. I never had to pay for anything...just save the world from
vampires."
I was right, she was a Slayer. *What is it with me and Slayers?* I asked
myself. Not wanting to hurt her feelings and make sure she was safe, I
suggested that she stay in my apartment in the extra bedroom. She happily
accepted and so we walked to my place and I made up the bed for her while she
temporarily napped on the couch.
I picked her up and carried her to her room. I laid her down and was bent over
her covering her up with the quilt when she woke up, put her arms around my
neck and planted a kiss on my lips. It took me a minute to realize what was happening
and I pushed her away.
"We can't do this," I told her.
"Yes we can," she insisted, pulling me down onto the bed...she was
incredibly strong.
She kissed me again and held me close against her. I couldn't escape her grasp
and I'm not totally sure that I wanted to. After a few minutes, she became
drowsy and I was finally able to pull away from her. "Good night,
Jade." I said. I knew that if I let anything happen, we would both regret
it in the morning...well, at least she would. I locked my bedroom door behind
me, undressed, and flopped into bed. I fell asleep immediately and dreamed of
Buffy. We were together in The Den and our song "I'll Remember You"
by Sophie Zelmani was playing. I hadn't heard that song in so long.
"I love you, Angelus." she said as we danced slowly.
"I love you, Buffy," I replied. "I miss you so much."
"Don't worry, my love," she cooed. "You will see me again,
someday. And we will be together."
~~ Chapter Two ~~
When I awoke the next morning, I realized I must have been crying in my dream
because my pillow was damp. The dream was so vivid, so real...except for Buffy
calling me Angelus. I looked at my clock...9:30 am. *Good thing I don't have to
work today.* I thought. I had been walking down the street one day when an
older woman came up to me and asked if I was a model. I laughed and told her I
wasn't. She handed me her business card and two weeks later I began my new
career...although I knew it probably wouldn't last long now that I'd be aging.
I'd only done a couple of photo shoots and some runway modeling for small
businesses like tuxedo shops and men's clothing stores, but it was hard work
and it paid pretty well.
I got dressed and went to the kitchen for something to eat. I had to watch what
I ate these days so I chose fruit and cereal. As I was looking in the fridge,
Jade announced her presence.
"Hi, Angel," she said smiling uncomfortably. I don't think she
realized what happened last night. I decided not to remind her about what she
told me about vampires or what she wanted to do.
"Hi," I said casually. "How'd you sleep?" I brought out
some grapes, two apples, and a carton of milk from the fridge.
"Fine, I guess...um, did we--" she began.
"No," I quickly assured her. "I slept in my room. You were kind
of drunk last night and you said you had nowhere to go, so I let you stay in my
spare room."
"Oh, okay," she said, sighing with relief.
"Do you want something for breakfast? Coffee...cereal...toast?" I
asked.
"Coffee would be great thanks, I have such a headache!" she
exclaimed, putting her right hand to her right temple.
We talked a more over breakfast and we learned more about each other. After a
while I realized that I liked this girl. She learned that I was a model and I
laughed when she said, "Please excuse me if I drool on your table."
We had a great time over breakfast and when I asked if we could go out to
dinner that night--no heavy drinking--she said she was busy. I had forgotten
that she was the Slayer and would probably be patrolling. She still needed to
find a place of her own and get a job since her boyfriend wouldn't be
supporting her anymore. I told her she could crash at my place for however long
she needed to. She said that she could stay at her uncle's house...I guessed
that she meant her Watcher, since that's what Buffy's cover for Giles was.
We hung out a lot everyday for about a week, and held hands, at her request,
when she saw her ex-boyfriend...it was kind of familiar in a way, pretending to
be involved to psyche the ex out but I couldn't quite place the memory. Later I
realized that it reminded me of Faith and I before Buffy's graduation.
One night, after dinner, Jade called me from her 'uncle's house' and said she
wanted to go to dinner the next night...so we did. It was wonderful getting out
again, with a very attractive girl...although my heart still ached for Buffy.
That night at dinner, I told her about Buffy being my first love and a few
details about our relationship--without the vampire and Slayer part--and showed
her a picture of her that I kept in my wallet. Jade looked a little sad so I
told her I was mostly over her and, without thinking, that she had died a long
time ago.
"Oh, Angel...I'm so sorry." she said putting her hands on top of
mine.
"It's okay," I said lying. "She was very sick." I felt bad
and apologized to Buffy in my mind, hoping that she would hear me wherever she
was.
After dinner we went for a walk. It wasn't long before she looked at her watch
and said she had to go. I felt the strange, familiar feeling of being around
Buffy. Just as she was about to dash off, I grabbed her arms and kissed her.
She kissed me back softly and wrapped her arms around my neck. I grabbed her
waist and pulled her closer. My mouth moved down her chin and to her neck. I
kissed her softly and was glad I didn't have the temptation to bite her...yet.
"Come home with me," I whispered in her ear, still holding her lithe
body against my strong one. At first she nodded her head at my suggestion,
breathing heavily with passion, then quickly changed her mind.
"No, I can't...I want to, believe me I really do...but I promised a friend
I'd help her...move." she said quickly.
"Okay," I said smiling; remembering the lame excuses Buffy used to
give her mom. "Can I see you tomorrow?"
"You can try," she said seductively. "Call me at my
uncle's...you know the number."
I kissed her quickly one last time before she ran off...in the direction of the
cemetery. I chuckled, climbed into my convertible, and went home to a nice cold
shower.
~~ Chapter Three ~~
The next evening the phone rang and I answered it, expecting to hear Jade's
cheery voice on the other end. I had tried to call her earlier, but she wasn't
home. It wasn't her this time...it was an older Englishman.
"Hello, is, uh, Angel there, please?" he asked nervously, very much
like Giles. I assumed it was her watcher.
"Yes, speaking," I replied. *Why would he be calling me...unless he
thinks I'm still Angel the vampire?*
"This is Jade's uncle, Rowan" he said calmly. "I would like to
talk to you as soon as possible...it's about Jade."
"Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly.
"Everything is fine, but something has come up and I need to speak with
you in person." he said.
"I'll be right there." I answered quickly before slamming the phone
down and speeding off to her address in my car.
I knocked on the door and the man answered the door with a cross in his hand.
When he saw me he thrust it at me to try and scare me off. "Listen!"
he said firmly. "I want you to tell me what you did to Jade! She didn't come
home last night and I know she was out with you!" His hand was shaking and
so was the cross.
"Look, I'm not--" I started.
"Shut up!" he yelled. "I've read all about you, Angelus. I know
about your soul curse and how you fell in love with the Slayer, Buffy Summers
and lost it." he produced a stake from behind his back. "I want you
to tell me where Jade is and then I will kill you. And you can't come in
b-b-because I performed the un-invitation spell."
That was enough. He accused me of killing Jade...I loved Jade, I couldn't let
him think that I was the murderous demon I used to be. "I didn't kill
Jade. I don't suppose any of Rupert Giles' journals said anything about how I
got my soul back and left to LA to help people? Or how it was prophesized how I
would become human after surviving a century of demons and plagues?"
"Not the prophecy part...but how can I be sure you're human?" he
asked glaring at me through his glasses.
"Enough of this bullshit, I'm going to find Jade!" I said spinning
around and running back to my car.
"Well I'm going with you, then...I don't want you alone with her!" he
said slamming to door behind him as he followed me down the sidewalk.
My car roared to life as Rowan closed the door and he had barely put on his
seatbelt when I sped down the street towards the cemetery. He was still holding
the stake in his left hand and the cross in his right. "Do you really
think that cross will burn me?" I asked him smirking. "Just try it,
it'll prove that I'm human."
"You won't bite--" he started.
"NO!" I hollered. "I'M NOT A VAMPIRE!" I grabbed the cross
with my right hand, keeping my left hand on the wheel. When Rowan saw that my
hand wasn't burning, he pulled it away.
"How did it happen?" he asked slowly as I continued to drive.
"I just woke up one day. I saw my reflection, felt my heart beat inside my
chest, and didn't catch on fire when I stepped into the sun." I replied.
Finally we reached the cemetery. Rowan handed me a couple of stakes and a
cross...it was ironic to think that I would be using the things to save myself
now that would have repelled me less than two years ago.
We split up and I went to the 'newer' section of the cemetery. It didn't take
me long to find her. She was lying on her back on top of a wide tombstone. I
ran up to her and looked at her. She was still as beautiful as when I saw her
last...aside from the two bite marks on her neck. I gathered her in my arms.
"ROWAN!" I cried at the top of my lungs.
"He won't hear you," a vaguely familiar voice answered from behind a
large tree.
"Who's there?" I called out into the darkness.
"Don't you recognize my voice, Peaches?" it said.
"Spike!" I spat out his name.
"Did you miss me?" he said, stepping out from behind a tree.
"It's been a long time. I thought you'd have died by now. So, the
Slayer...I know you didn't kill her since you don't have your fangs
anymore...so what gives?"
"Who did this?" I asked him. "And where's Rowan?"
"Now, now...you don't think I'd rat out an old friend do you? As for the
Watcher...I found him rather tough." he said licking his lips.
"You bastard...I--"
"Yeah, yeah...you loved her too, right?" he asked raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I didn't drain her...but I can't say the same for your first love,
Little Buff...I told her one day I'd drink her. And the night she retired, I
went in for the kill. She wanted it way too much though...she wanted me way too
much." He grinned evilly. "You didn't even notice who's grave that
is, did you?"
I looked down at the inscription. It read: "Here lies Buffy Anne Summers.
Friend, Daughter and Protector. January 1981 - January 2007"
I laid Jade back down on the tombstone I found her on and hid a stake in my
sleeve. I clenched my teeth and turned to Spike. "Let's go, Spike. I'll
kill you before we even begin. She never wanted you...she would never have
wanted to die by your hands."
"But you're wrong Angelus," another voice came out from the darkness.
I knew it from the first word. "I did want it...it was the only way we
could be together."
A small gasp escaped my lips when the figure stepped out from the shadows and
stood behind Spike. "Buffy?"
~~ Chapter Four ~~
Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike's waist from behind him. "That's right
lover...Spike found me sitting all by my lonesome right over there." she said,
pointing to a nearby bench.
"But, Buffy--" I began.
"I know, I know...I'm a vampire and I'm all evil. But I still want you.
Just as you wanted me when you were Angelus." she said. "Becoming a
vampire was the only way to see you again. If I'd known you'd become human, I'd
probably have let him kill me. But instead I begged for him to bring me
back...I promised I'd do anything to see you again." She said grinning
slyly at Spike, who grinned back just the same. "Absolutely
anything."
"You're not yourself, Buffy," I said, tears forming in my eyes.
"Did you do this to Jade?"
"What, is one Slayer not enough for you?" she asked. "When I saw
you two together last night...with your hands on each other; kissing...I got a
little hungry." She ran her tongue slowly over her pearl-white teeth.
She let go of Spike and slowly and seductively walked towards me. She was
wearing black leather pants and a deep purple top. I looked into her dazzling
eyes and I lost myself in them. Even in death she was the most beautiful woman
I had ever seen. I didn't even notice that she had my stakes until she waved
them in front of me. "Missing something?" she asked playfully. She
tossed the stakes onto the ground beside her and pulled me closer to her. She
was strong and her grip on my neck was tight.
Slowly and gently she bent my head down so my lips met hers. She kissed me
roughly and her lips were cool against mine. I was completely mesmerized with
the flood of emotions of when we were together so long ago. My hands wrapped
themselves around her waist and pulled her even closer against my chest. She
chuckled with delight. My brain screamed for me to stop...this wasn't my
Buffy...this was evil. But my heart begged me to keep kissing her, even though
she wasn't the one I had fallen in love with. I missed her. I never thought I'd
see her again. When she finally pushed me away from her I was gasping for
breath. She started laughing...not her sweet Buffy laugh, but an evil,
conniving laugh. Suddenly someone grabbed my arms from behind me, I assumed it
was Spike since he wasn't around anywhere. His grip was firm and he twisted my
arms upwards until I was on tiptoes trying to avoid the pain.
Buffy stopped laughing. "Don't hurt him Spike!" she yelled when she
saw my face contort with pain. When he didn't release his grip she picked up
one of the stakes and hid it behind her back. "Oh Spike," she called
softly in a singsong voice. "Why don't you let him go and come hurt me for
a while?"
Spike chuckled and slowly released his grip. He walked over to Buffy and
grabbed her waist. He bent down kissed her neck, grazing her skin with his
teeth. She groaned in pleasure and pulled him closer to her. I turned around to
look at Jade. I felt bad for her...she was so young, but I realized that she
was just a replacement for Buffy. I would always love Buffy and only her. Spike
growled and I quickly turned back to face them. He had his vamp face on and was
drawing the tiniest bit of blood from Buffy's neck. He stopped suddenly and
straightened up. He let go of Buffy and looked down just as he exploded into
dust. She had staked her sire for me.
"Angelus," she said looking over at me. "Are you okay?"
"Stay away from me," I said, though desperately wanting the exact
opposite of that. I wanted her near me...I wanted to be with her. I continued
my charade. "And stop calling me Angelus...I'm not him, I'm Angel...I'm
human!"
She snickered as she gingerly touched her neck. She pulled her hand away and
noticed a little bit of blood on her fingers. She closed her eyes and slowly
licked it off. I shut my eyes tight and shook my head, trying to rid my mind of
my lewd thoughts; trying to bring myself back to reality. She knew exactly what
she was doing to me, and she relished in it. "Angelus," she said opening
her eyes and stepping towards me. She leaned in close to my right ear. "I
want you," she whispered. "Take me home."
I felt her cool breath on my neck and I swallowed hard. Suddenly I grabbed her
arms and kissed her. This time her kiss was softer...full of love and need. As
she locked her arms around my neck, I swept my right arm under legs and picked
her up. I carried her to my car as she lightly kissed my neck...I was filled
with passion and almost stumbled over a tree root. We laughed simultaneously as
if we were drunk...we were together again. It didn't matter to me that she was
a vampire...after all, I was one when we started dating, only now the tables
were turned...and Buffy didn't have a soul. But deep down I knew she wouldn't
bite me unless I let her. I drove to my apartment and all the way there, Buffy
gazed lovingly at me. I led her up to my apartment and invited her in, of
course. As soon as I closed the door behind her she frowned. "The Slayer
has been here." she hissed, glaring at me with icy green eyes.
"Nothing happened, and you know it...she just needed somewhere to crash
for one night. You know I only love you." I said smoothly, flashing her a
sexy smile. She grinned wickedly at me. My long lost Liam-charm had
returned...all I needed was a little practice.
She locked the door and took off my jacket kissing me all the while. It felt so
good to feel her body against mine, the brush of her hair and the smell of her
skin. I led her to the bedroom and she sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling
me towards her by my belt buckle until I was standing directly in front of her.
Then she leaned back and pulled me on top of her. We kissed hungrily for one
another and she promptly ripped my shirt over my head. "You haven't
changed a bit," she whispered as she eyed my chest.
I chuckled breathlessly as I brushed a small wisp of her hair off of her face
and behind her ear. "Neither have you."
~~ Chapter Five ~~
I woke up the next morning and I prayed that last night was real and not just
another dream. I looked beside me on the bed and let out a relieved sigh. Buffy
was sleeping soundly. I felt my neck where Buffy bit me...I had let her have a
midnight snack and it was still a little sore. I cupped her chin and gently
kissed her lips.
Surprisingly, she pushed me away without even opening her eyes. "Spike,
no! I told you that I didn't want--"
"Buffy...it's me, Angel," I said interrupting her. It hurt me to hear
her say Spike's name instead of mine.
She opened her eyes suddenly and smiled at me. "Hi Angelus...um, Angel, I
mean." I smiled back at her.
"Good morning," I said, then looked at my alarm clock. "I mean,
good afternoon."
There was a bit of a silence until Buffy spoke up. "Angel, I need to talk
to you," she said solemnly. "Years ago, when I became a vampire...it
was because I wanted to be with you. But I want you to know that nothing
happened between Spike and I...God knows that didn't stop him from trying
though." she joked, then becoming serious again. "But I want you to
know that I'm not a bad vampire."
"What about Jade?" I asked, looking everywhere but at her face.
"I didn't kill her," she answered. I turned to look at her. Her eyes
were filled with sincerity and sadness. "Spike did. When I found out that
you were back, I watched you. When you started hanging out with Jade, I was
distraught. I was coming to talk to you that night when I saw you two kissing.
I got upset and I ran back to Spike's place. I was crying and before I knew it,
he had left to go kill her...I think he loved me." She said in a dazed
voice. Suddenly snapping out of it, she added, "I never wanted to hurt
anybody...in all my vampire years I've never killed one person. Angel, I still
have my soul."
My eyes widened. "Are you sure?" I asked, my eyes studying her
beautiful face.
"Spike told me that that's why vampires never turn Slayers...because
they're still good...they're conscience doesn't die with them." she said.
"But that...that was just a myth, we never really knew if it was true or
not." I told her.
"It is true, Angel. All these years, Spike's been trying to get me to kill
people and be his evil girlfriend. Part of me wanted to do it... so
badly," she said, tears forming in her eyes. "But I knew I had to
fight it. I made Spike buy me blood from the butcher. I couldn't become a
killer."
I held her close to me and she cried on my shoulder. "It's been so
hard," she said sniffling. "Watching Willow, Giles, my
mom...everybody, grow old and die."
"I know," I said sadly, holding back the tears in my own eyes.
"I went through it too. But Buffy...I'm human again...I'll age and die
too."
She pulled back and looked at me. Her eyes sparkled green like emeralds.
"Angel...when I told Willow that I wanted to become a vampire, she didn't
understand...but I explained it to her. Why I wanted to do it...and why I had
to." she smiled at me. "We looked in Giles' books, on the net and
even in magic spell books. Finally we found what we were looking for...a cure
for a vamped Slayer."
I looked at her with an astonished look on my face. Questions raced through my
mind. *A cure? How come I've never heard of it? Why didn't Xander tell me she
was a vampire?*
Buffy answered my last question as if she had read my mind. "I begged
Xander not to tell you. I was afraid that if he told you about my turning, you
might not have been able to fulfill your prophecy. I didn't want you to worry
about me."
"How did you know about--"
"Cordelia told Xander...Xander told me. When I heard that you would be
human again...I realized that I couldn't live without you." she said. A
tear ran down her beautiful face. "I couldn't live without knowing what we
could have had." I smiled a little...those words gave me a flash of déjà
vu. I cupped her face with my hands and wiped the tear away with my thumb.
"Last night...with Spike, that wasn't you, was it?" I asked her.
"No," she said. "When you came to town I didn't want him to hurt
you because he knew I still loved you...so I pretended to be evil. I secretly
drank the packaged blood and then we'd go out hunting, but I never drank from
anyone. I made up excuses not to. I got so caught up in trying to convince him
that I was evil and that I wanted him--not you--that one night, things went a
little too far," she swallowed hard and continued. "And we slept
together."
~~ Chapter Six ~~
She looked down at my hands to take them in hers but I pulled them away.
"I'm not telling you this to hurt you, Angel...but I want you to know how
bad I feel about it."
I swallowed hard and a tear fell down my face. Buffy brought a hand up to wipe
it away, but I caught her wrist. "You...and Spike?" I spat out his
name. I despised him...I wanted to kill him...again.
"Angel, I didn't know what I was doing. I've had all these emotions built
up in me for the last century, and when I saw you again--" she was crying
and couldn't continue.
"For the last week you've been acting for Spike...how do I know you're not
acting for me now." I asked dejectedly.
"It's not like that, Angel," she cried. "I love you...Spike was
nothing to me...just a replacement. Like Jade was for me."
"Don't you dare compare them. Jade may have been a replacement, but I
never went that far." I lied.
"I heard you! You wanted her to go home with you...excelled vampire
hearing, remember what that's like?" she asked angrily.
My face went pale and I'm sure she heard my heartbeat quicken. "Nothing
would have happened. I wouldn't have let it go that far." I said honestly.
"Before I kissed her, I sensed you. I felt your presence and for some
strange reason, my mind thought she was you...before I could think twice, I
kissed her." I wondered how our conversation was able to go from Buffy's
situation to mine so fast. I looked into her eyes. "Look, I'm glad you
told me about Spike. And I'm sorry about Jade...are we even then?" I asked,
giving her my 'Liam's-Foolproof-I'm-So-Sorry-Smile'. I had used it so many
times before when I was human...except this time I truly meant it.
Buffy laughed as she nodded her head. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed
me. "You know I can't stay mad at you...I never could."
"So what's this cure?" I asked her. "What are the
ingredients?"
"A full moon, someone who can read Latin spells, and a little of your
blood." she explained.
"Well, the next full moon is tomorrow night," I stated looking at the
mini calendar on my nightstand. I turned back to her. "I can call up one
of my friends in Las Vegas...he speaks fluent Latin, among other languages. I
haven't used Latin in so long...I wouldn't want to make a mistake. As for my
blood, you can have as much as you need...even if it kills me."
"Thanks," she said smiling sweetly at me. "But I don't need that
much blood...only about a cup. So who's your multilingual friend?"
"Oh, that's Kremlin. We were friends when I lived in Canada, he helped me
fight evil before I became human." I explained.
"You actually have a friend named that?" she asked.
"I've heard other weird names." I insisted.
"Like what?" she tested me.
"Hmm, let's see...Buffy, Xander, Willow, Oz, Cordy...do you want me to
keep going?" I laughed.
She chuckled a little, then vamped out. "Are you making fun of my
name?" she said smiling. She was the most beautiful vampire I'd ever
seen...even her fangs were sexy.
"No, Buffy, I love your name. Please don't bite me...yet." I said,
pretending to be scared. She started laughing and morphed back to her human
visage.
"Being a vampire is kind of fun. I don't know if I even want to be human
again." she joked before I lightly hit her with my pillow. She growled
quietly as I reached for the phone.
After a couple rings Kremlin picked up. "Hello?"
"Hey Kremlin, it's Angel...how are you doing?" I asked my demon
friend.
"Not too bad, where've you been lately? I haven't talked to you in a
while." he said.
"Sunnydale. Met up with some people, including the late Slayer." I said
sadly. Buffy gave me a look as if to ask 'What do you think you're doing?'
"Yeah, I heard about her...what happened?" he asked.
"I'll tell you later," I said. "Something important has come
up...can you get here by tomorrow night?"
"From Vegas to Sunnydale in less than two days, eh? What's going
down?" he asked.
"You remember Buffy, my Slayer girlfriend?" I asked.
"The blonde one in your wallet?" he asked me.
"Yeah...well, to make a long story short, she got vamped a while back so
that we could be together when I became human. There's a spell that can turn
her back but it's Latin and we need you to read it on the full moon since
you're the only one close enough to get here in time."
"Wow that's...that's quite a story for you to tell your grandkids."
he chuckled. "I guess can make it for an old buddy. I'll leave first thing
tomorrow morning."
"Thanks Kremlin, this really means a lot...to both of us." I gave him
my address and nodded to Buffy. She squealed happily and threw her arms around
me.
"Was that her?" he asked.
"Yeah," I replied looking into her eyes. "That's my
Slayer."
~~ Chapter Seven ~~
As Buffy showered, I covered the windows with sheets to block the direct
sunlight from entering. Only a couple hours until sundown, then we could go out
together. *Buffy took forever to get ready when she was human, what is she
going to do without being able to look in a mirror.* I chuckled to myself.
That afternoon she asked me to go get her clothes from Spike's lair where she
had been staying since she became a vampire. It had a musty smell and I quietly
entered the dark crypt. A little light shone through the windows, enough to see
my way around the place and what a sad looking place it was. Buffy didn't
deserve to live here. It had a lamp, a TV, a small table and two unmatched
chairs, a mini refrigerator and a bed. The bed that Spike and Buffy slept in.
It all looked like it had been taken it from the city dump...which he probably
had. *Spike has a TV and a mini fridge? Probably for Buffy's blood.* I thought.
*But where did he get the electricity from?* My question was answered when I
saw a few extension cords leading out through a hole in the window which
probably led to a nearby house.
I quickly packed her clothes into a small suitcase I'd brought. It was mostly
leather pants and skirts as well as a bunch of tank tops and shoes. I never
thought Buffy to be the leather type. I grabbed the packages of blood from the
fridge and shuddered a little as I did. Centuries of drinking the stuff and I
can't stand touching it now?
I flicked on the lamp to help me see if I missed anything. I apparently did
because when the light came on, I saw a blonde figure hiding in a corner. It
was Harmony.
"So, you actually made it?" she said.
"Pardon?" I said, I knew what she was talking about but I wanted to
stall until I could find something to kill her with. I wished I'd brought my
stake...I thought I wouldn't need them since it was the daytime.
"Duh, you became human!" she said rolling her eyes. "Spike told
me about it a long time ago when he turned Buffy. Did you know he dumped me for
her...and then she killed him! Would it have hurt her to let me have him? I
loved him and I thought he loved me. I guess I've always known that he liked
her a little too much...even when she was human." she prattled.
"Well, Harmony, as much as I'd love to listen to you complain all day, I
have things to do that are actually worthwhile." I said picking up the
suitcase.
"How would you like to be a vampire again?" she said, slowly walking
towards me. "To kill people and not give a damn. Taking what you
need...what you want."
She stepped up close to me and smiled seductively. *What is with these
Sunnydale women?* I asked myself. She whispered in my ear. "I could give
it back to you. All the power...all the freedom. It could be yours in only
three little words. Repeat after me: I...Want...You."
I took a deep breath. I was such a sucker for women. "Okay, let me
try," I said, trying my charm on her. I guess she bought it because she
smiled and clasped her hands together. I continued. "Go...To...Hell!"
With that, I swung the suitcase and hit her head with a sickening thud. She
fell to the floor and I ran to the table and chairs. She came running towards
me and I smacked her with the wooden chair, smashing it into about ten pieces.
I bent down and grabbed a piece of wood with a sharp edge. I stood up and she
was standing face to face with me...human face to vamped out face.
"Never expected a decent fight from 'little Harmony', did you?" she
said grinning, showing off her sharp fangs.
"Actually no...I didn't," I said plunging the stake into her chest.
"And I still don't." She turned to dust right before my eyes. I
grabbed the suitcase and left the crypt.
That night I made dinner, steak and salad for myself, blood for Buffy, and
listened to the news on the radio. The anchorman began talking about a young
woman and an older man found dead in the cemetery from extreme blood loss. I
dropped Buffy's glass of blood, from the crypt, on the floor and sank to the
ground. *Jade and Rowan,* I thought. *I left them there last night. How could I
do that?*
When Buffy came into the kitchen I was crying on the floor. Some of the blood
had soaked into my clothes. She ran to me and kneeled down, carefully avoiding
the glass on the bloody floor. "What's wrong?" she asked, searching
my arms. I suppose she thought I'd cut myself with the broken glass.
"We left them there," I answered. "I left her on your tombstone
where Spike out her. I never even thought twice about them until now."
"It's ok Angel," she cooed softly. "It wasn't your fault.
There's nothing you could have done."
"I could have--" I started.
"Could have what? Hid the bodies? Buried them? Angel, that would make you
an accomplice to Spike." she explained. "Look, I killed him...right
now he's in hell, paying for what he did to his victims. You have nothing to
feel guilty for."
I nodded my head in agreement. After a few minutes I spoke up. "I ran into
Harmony at Spike's lair," I said quietly. "Well technically, I ran a
jagged piece of wood into her."
Buffy gave me a little smile. "Still not much of a fighter, is she?"
she asked.
"Not really," I replied. "But she sure can take a hit or
two."
"When Spike dumped her, she came after me. All she could do was pull hair
and slap...I easily beat her to the ground but she begged me to let her
go."
"She wanted to turn me back so she could have something that you
wanted." I said, looking into her eyes. "But even as Angelus I would
come back to you."
Buffy smiled and helped clean up the glass and blood. "Only one more day
after today, then I won't have to drink this delicious crap."
~~ Chapter Eight ~~
Buffy quietly stepped out of the bedroom and sneaked up behind me as I fixed my
hair in the bathroom mirror. Since she had no reflection, I jumped a little as
she slipped her hands around my waist.
"Hey gorgeous," she cooed softly. "I love your outfit. You've
always suited black."
I looked at my clothes in the mirror. Black pants, black shirt, black leather
duster...same ensemble as when I was a vampire. I smirked and turned around.
When I saw what she was wearing my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. She was
sporting a short leather skirt and a red tank top that revealed her midsection.
She too had a black leather duster...it was the same one I'd given her nearly a
century ago and she still looked as beautiful as ever in it. "You look
stunning."
"Thanks," she replied. "Does my makeup look alright? I guess I
should be used to putting it on without a mirror since I have been for the past
century." she laughed.
"You look perfect." I answered sincerely. "Shall we go
then?"
"By all means." she said, linking her arm through mine.
We went to the Den and had a couple drinks. At about 11:30 p.m., Jake and Sam
entered the club. They walked to our table and sat down.
"Angel, man," Sam said. "Where've you been for the last week,
and who is this beautiful blonde babe?"
"This is Buffy," I said as she smiled at the two practically drooling
men. "Buffy, this is Jake and Sam."
"Nice to meet you," Jake said. "Where have you been all of
Angel's life and do you have a sister for me?" He joked.
"I've been waiting for him all my life," she said smiling at me.
"Angel, you always get the good ones," Sam said. "But if you'll
excuse us, we're going to find ourselves some dates."
I chuckled. "Good luck," I called after them as they walked away from
the table, scanning the crowd. "Those guys are walking pick-up
lines." I informed Buffy, taking a sip of my beer.
She laughed. "Do they ever work on women?" she asked.
"Sometimes," I answered. "But they're just players. They always
use the 'I'll call you' line."
"Ouch," she responded. "That's happened to me once and it was
the worst. I was trying to get over you, and he said all the right things...I
couldn't help myself. I relied on him for comfort."
"Parker, right?" I guessed.
"Yeah, how'd you know?" she asked me.
"Spike told me before," I answered casually. "When he was
torturing me with hot pokers for the Ring of Amarra. I wanted to come back and
kill that bastard."
She smiled. "Did you ever use the ring?"
"Yeah, once," I said. "After I killed the vampire that stole it
from Spike. I stepped into the sun for the first time in hundreds of years. It
was so bright...so beautiful."
"Do you still have it?" she asked grinning wickedly.
"No, I smashed it." I told her. "It would have been too
tempting. Besides, people needed my help at night. And if I ever lost my soul
again, everybody would have been in big trouble...especially you. We both know
how Angelus obsessed over you. His invincibility would have been impossible to
stop."
"That's good...no vampire should have that much power," she said
looking down at her empty glass. She looked up at me with her flashing green
eyes. "Let's dance."
We danced for the entire night, until 3:00 a.m. when the club finally closed.
They practically had to kick us out.
Buffy and I stayed out the entire night and walked around town. Not many stores
were open this late, only bars and nightclubs. The ones we came across that
were open, we entered and danced until they too closed. Surprisingly enough, no
demons or vampires disturbed us. Either they left us alone because: a) They
recognized Buffy as the Slayer turned vampire and I as Angelus, my evil vampire
alter ego, and were afraid of us; b) Spike, known as one of the most dangerous
vampires in the world, had died by our hands; or c) We were one of those sickly
sweet couples that were oblivious to the rest of the world and they didn't want
to bother with us.
At 4:30 a.m. we walked home hand in hand chattering and laughing like a couple
of teenagers. When we finally returned home, we made love and as Buffy fell
asleep in my arms, I looked out of the bedroom window at the bright moon. It
would be full the next evening and Buffy would be human. I too dozed off and
envisioned a life with Buffy. In the back of my mind I desperately hoped that
Kremlin would arrive on time.
~~ Chapter Nine ~~
"Where is he Angel?" Buffy asked worriedly the next evening. She had
brought out the Latin incantation and kept double-checking to see if it was
clear enough to read. "He should have been here by now...it's only a five
hour drive."
"I know," I said, looking at my watch. It was nearing midnight and
the moon was finally full. "He'll be here, don't worry yourself. Kremlin
never let me down before, and he wouldn't start now."
Two hours later there was a knock at the door. I ran to open it. It wasn't
Kremlin though. It was one of my other demon friends, Dianté...actually he was
half-demon. He had a human figure but had supernatural powers...much like
Doyle, one of my partners at Angel Investigations. I was very relieved to see
him because he could read Latin, and if Kremlin wasn't here on time, Dianté
could fill his shoes.
"Angel," he said breathlessly, clearly he had been running.
"Kremlin couldn't make it in time so he called me and I flew in from
Lansing. Sorry I'm late but he--"
"There's not much time," I interrupted, pulling him inside and
shutting the door behind him. "Here's the spell, we need to start right
away. Sorry to rush you."
Dianté quickly read the instructions aloud in English. "The incantation
must be read aloud first in Latin without interruptions. Then repeat in English
without interruptions. If any occur, you must start again. After the
incantations are finished, the Slayer must drink directly from her true love at
least one cup of blood. Then the Slayer will lie as if dead. If she wakes
within a half-hour, her soul will be saved." he swallowed nervously.
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, let's get started."
Dianté spoke up. "You didn't let me finish...If not, she will arise the
next evening with vampirity and without human conscience."
Buffy gasped. "Angel," she cried. "I don't want to be
evil."
I hugged her tightly. "You won't, Buffy, don't worry. This will
work."
"If it doesn't," she whispered. "You know what to do."
I nodded my head. I knew what I would have to do...I would have to kill Buffy.
Buffy lay down on the bed and closed her eyes, holding my hands in hers as I
sat close beside her. Dianté began to read the spell aloud.
"Le Pontenzi Che Sono, guar questa ragazza. Restituirla alla sua
condizione precedente. È gentile e buona, lei appartiene nel mondo umano. Le
Pontenzi Che Sono, prego gli danno la vita. Restituirla con questa anima che
beve. Lasciare il suo in tensione il resto dei suoi giorni con un cuore sano e
battente." he finished and nervously wiped his forehead. But nobody spoke
a word. The full moon would be gone in less than three hours. Then Dianté began
the second reading.
"Powers That Be, heal this girl. Return her to her previous state. She is
kind and she is good, she belongs in the human world.Powers That Be, please
give her life. Return it with this blood she drinks. Let her live the rest of
her days with a healthy beating heart."
Buffy sat up and looked deep into my eyes. I nodded my head and swallowed hard.
She let her demonic visage surface and she gently bit into my neck. The pain
was blinding at first, because I was so nervous, but it dulled a little after
she began to drink. When she had taken the sufficient amount, her face returned
to its previous state and she fell back lifelessly onto the bed. Dianté and I
watched her silently for ten minutes before I had to leave the room. I went
into the bathroom and washed the blood off my neck before lying down on the
cold tiles and closing my eyes. I couldn't believe she was doing this. She was
risking her life, again, to be with me. *What if she doesn't wake up? I don't
want to kill her...I can't kill her. Am I worth all this trouble?* I thought to
myself.
"You must be worth it," I heard Dianté's voice say. I looked up at
him and he smiled down at me. I had forgotten that he could read minds.
"Don't worry, she won't die...you said so yourself."
"I think I was mostly trying to convince myself of that," I said
quietly. "She has to survive this...she's died before and was brought
back. She's a strong person, but I'm not. If she dies, so will I."
"Everything will be fine...but if worst comes to worst, I'll stake her for
you...that is, if you want me to." he offered sadly.
"No, I'll do it...I want to say goodbye myself." I said. Then
changing the subject, "Thanks for flying in tonight, Dianté. It really
means a lot to me that you could make it."
"It was nothing." he said waving his hand. Noticing his watch, he
grabbed my hand and pulled me up on my feet. "You'd better get in there.
I'll wait out here for you." It was time to see if Buffy would wake or
not.
I stood beside the bed and watched her closely. There was only five minutes
left in the half-hour. She was not moving and was not breathing. I watched her
eyes carefully for any signs of movement. She did not stir. Nor did she for the
next ten minutes. I collapsed onto the bed beside her and began to cry. I had
lost my first and only love to the demon inside of her. Never again would I
hear her sweet, genuine laugh. A mocking, evil one would take its place as she
destroyed me emotionally. Her smile wouldn't be for me anymore, but for the pain
she would deliver to my heart as she mocked our love, just as Angelus had done
to her. I opened the drawer to my nightstand and gripped the sharp wooden stake
lying inside. I knew what I had to do.
~~ Chapter Ten ~~
I watched her invariably for the entire day; I hardly even blinked. Dianté
slept on the couch in the living room. He had stayed awake all night, waiting
for something to happen. I told him to get some sleep and that I would keep
watch. I held the stake in my hand tightly, expecting the worst. I prepared
myself to kill her after saying a quick goodbye when she woke. I convinced
myself that it was for the best and that it was what Buffy wanted.
When Dianté woke up, he came into the room with a plate of various foods.
"Thanks," I whispered. But I had lost my appetite and could not eat.
"Anything new?" he said. I shook my head in reply as I held her hand.
"I hate to say this...but I have to leave tonight. I have a 7:30 flight
back to Lansing. They need me back at work. You should eat something,
Angel...you don't look well."
I nodded and grabbed a grape off of the plate and swallowed it whole. It hit my
empty stomach and I felt like throwing up. How could I be thinking of eating at
a time like this? I picked up the plate and threw against the wall across the
room. It hit with a satisfying smash. I was furious. Why did Buffy do this for
me? She gave up her life to be with me...and even that wasn't possible.
Obviously the Powers That Be did not think that we belonged together...that it
wasn't meant to be. Tears fell down my face and blurred my vision. I brushed
them away angrily with my hand. I didn't want to stop looking at her face...it
would be the last time I would see it for a long time.
At 6:42 p.m. the sun began to set and as if on cue, Buffy's eyes began to move
under her eyelids. Fresh tears formed in my eyes as I realized the time had
come. Her head moved slightly from side to side as she slowly woke from her
slumber.
"I love you, Buffy," I whispered and I kissed her softly on the lips.
"Goodbye."
I lifted the stake and brought it down. Dianté burst into the room and yelled
for me to stop...I did--an inch from her chest. Buffy flinched awake at the
sudden noise and inhaled suddenly. It had been so long since she had last taken
a deep breath and the oxygen had hit her lungs like a ton of bricks. She
coughed loudly and gasped for breath. The same thing happened to me when I
became human.
Dianté reread the last part of instructions to me. "If she wakes within a
half-hour her soul won't be saved. If not, she will arise the next evening
without her vampirity, and with human conscience."
My eyes widened as I turned to look at him. "I almost killed her." I
said in a daze. "She almost died because of three words."
"I'm so sorry, Angel," he said sincerely. Then added quickly,
"I'm a stupid idiot and I made a horrible mistake and I understand if you
never want to speak to me again."
I shook my head as Buffy finally regained her breath. She tried to speak but
her voice was a hoarse whisper. I gently brushed her hair off of her face and
smiled at her. "You made it," I said watching her heart beat
furiously under her chest. I hugged her close. "I love you."
She nodded weakly and smiled at me. She tried to raise her arms to hug me but
she couldn't, she was temporarily paralyzed. The lack of blood in her system
for a day left her limbs unmovable. She would slowly regain their movement as
the blood flowed through her veins. She looked at the water and licked her dry
lips. I held the glass of water for her to drink. She sipped it and groaned in
pain when the cold water hit her stomach. After a few minutes she could finally
move. She gasped as the 'pins and needles' feeling covered her body with each
action.
"Buffy," I said quietly. "Are you okay?"
"Yes Angel," she replied putting her hand on her heart in spite of
her tingling nerves. "I am now."
She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. She started crying and as I
rocked her soothingly. "I felt it," she whispered. "I felt like
I was losing my soul...that I was losing myself."
"Nothing happened...you're safe now." I told her.
The time came when Dianté had to leave so Buffy came with us when I drove him
to the airport. She thanked him incessantly until he disappeared around the
corner through the boarding gate. On the way home I told Buffy what the
translation really read and she started crying, I figured it was because she
was so tired. Then she told me how a part of her wanted to wake up but she had
to fight it and stay asleep, even though she didn't know why. She thought it
was her vampire-self fighting to stay asleep, but in fact it was her human
conscience. She told me how she felt both sides fighting over her body and
dreamed of both lives. I don't think she noticed, but I had tears in my eyes as
we pulled into my apartment's parking lot.
She was tired for the rest of the evening but refused to sleep since she
learned that she had been sleeping all day. We watched movies, ate junk food
and stayed up until 1:30 a.m. until she finally fell asleep on the couch. I
carried her into the bedroom and tucked her in, then went to the kitchen. I sat
at the counter and rested my head in my hands, supported by my elbows on the
table. I took deep several deep breaths before it really hit me. Buffy almost
died. I felt a wave of nausea pass over me and I ran to the sink to throw up. I
slowly lay down on the floor and fell asleep, my body trembling and hot tears
stinging my eyes.
~~ Chapter Eleven ~~
I woke up and a cold sweat beaded my forehead. I went into the bathroom and
splashed water on my face. That dream was so real. I walked silently into the
bedroom where Buffy slept. She looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake her and
tell her about it, but I had to talk to someone. I shook her awake gently.
"Buffy," I whispered and swallowed hard. "I need to talk to
you."
She opened her eyes and smiled at me. "What is it?" she asked,
frowning when she saw my worried expression.
"I dreamed it again." I said, trying to shake the hideous thoughts
out of my head.
"What happened this time?" she asked, hugging me and stroking her
hands through my tousled hair.
"The same as always. I become human, move here then I find you as a
vampire and perform the spell to turn you back to a human." I said.
"It's okay, Angel." she said soothingly. "That did happen."
"Except in my dream, the spell succeeded and you became human again."
I said, my body trembling as I uttered the word human.
"Look at me. Am I human?" she asked, looking into my eyes. I shook my
head in reply. "Then you have nothing to worry about. I will never be
human again and nobody I can think of would attempt to curse you again either.
As long as we stay away from gypsies, wiccas and the Slayer, we'll be
safe." She leaned her head against the wall and I lay down on the bed
beside her, on my back and resting my head on her firm stomach. Her cool hands
caressed my face lovingly and ran through my hair.
"I hate that dream," I muttered. "I like it so much better when
you wake up and turn me back into Angelus."
"I know you do and I hate it for how much it upsets you," she said.
"But pretty soon you will adjust and stop having good dreams. You know how
it is."
It was true. After a few months I would stop having the recurring dreams of my
human life, just as I did when I first became Angelus. The dreams of Jade,
Rowan, Jake and Sam would stop haunting me and would soon be replaced with
dreams of Buffy and I together, killing, torturing and maiming the innocent
people of Sunnydale. My favorite recurring dream has always been the night when
the spell went wrong. I had held her in my arms when she woke up during the
half-hour. I thought she was human so I held her close to me...then she bit
into my neck and drank my blood. "Don't worry," she had whispered through
her blood-covered fangs. "The pain will be gone soon enough,
Angelus." It was then that I realized she had planned to turn me. I admit,
I wasn't as scared as I should have been. I thought that an unlife with Buffy
would be kind of fun. I guess I still had a little Angelus in me at the time.
"You know what really bothers me?" I asked her, letting out an
annoyed sigh. "Is all those years of fighting the bad guys to earn back my
humanity...and just when I was rewarded with a second life, I turn evil again.
With all that wasted time we could've had some fun killing our friends instead
of letting them grow old and die naturally. Xander, Cordelia, Wesley,
Willow...especially Willow. She was always so nice and compassionate. I would
have enjoyed torturing her. I could have pretended to have my soul back again
and she would probably have forgiven me." Buffy grinned and laughed
sinisterly. I loved her vampiric laugh...it echoed in my ears and made my blood
boil.
"Remember that I would have still been the Slayer at that time." she
said in a mocking, goody-goody type voice while rolling her eyes. "I
probably would have tried to give you your soul back or something inane like
that."
"So, where do you want to go hunting tonight?" I asked, turning my
head to look at her beautiful face. Although the sun was still out, the room
was completely dark considering we had boarded up the windows. I could still
see her features distinctly...my eyes were stronger than the darkness.
She grinned at me. "The Den is always a good choice. We'll split up,
seduce our victims and meet in the alley to feed...just as we always do."
"We need something new." I suggested. "We're predators...we're
supposed to pursue, not wait for the prey to find us."
"I know, but I find it much more fun to tease them first." she said.
"Stalking is what a lion does, slinking in the shadows. Snakes draw their
prey nearer to them with intrigue and beauty, then strike suddenly. I want to
be the snake. I want to attack them while they think their lustful thoughts...their
last breath will be taken while I kill them and they will regret ever noticing
me...remorse makes the blood taste better." As Buffy spoke, I noticed how
articulate her language had become, like mine had. I think vampirity comes with
a certain poetic style for some. Buffy and I had been gifted with eloquent
thoughts, while greed and bloodlust ruled most other vampires' inferior minds,
such as Spike and Harmony's.
Of course Buffy and I craved blood; we thrived on it...but at the same time we
savored it. Blood was a delicacy for us. We appreciated it like a fine wine.
Spike drank it like water...he never really considered the fact that the humans
he so strongly despised, provided him with his unlife.
She closed her eyes, took in a deep, unneeded breath and exhaled slowly and
evenly. "It's almost time. I can smell the sunset approaching." she
smiled and sighed softly. "I can hear their blood...I can feel it."
Buffy suddenly opened her eyes...they were flashing with excitement. She leaned
over me and kissed me on my forehead. I looked up at her and smiled. We had
about an hour before we could go outside. "Whatever shall we do to pass
the time, Angelus?" she said grinning alluringly.
"I'll give you one guess," I said as I sat up and placed a kiss on
her icy lips.
The End…or is it?