Blind Faith

Title: Blind Faith
Author: Lindsay Ince [chicago_heat@hotmail.com]
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, not mine, blah, blah, belong to Joss. Oh I’m just not in the mood for a witty yet sarcastic disclaimer today.
Archive: http://www.stas.net/blurred
Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive.
Rating: PG - 13
Spoilers: Angel Season 2 and Buffy Season 5. Going with the Fool for Love/Darla siring story. Despite Joss' incapability to make up his mind.
Summary: A midnight reunion for a set of old lovers.
Authors Notes: Buffy Angel Improv #7: silver--wander--hollow--fitting.
Feedback: If you have a moment, I’d like to know your thoughts. Suggestions always welcome!

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She watches him. She has always watched him. Sometimes it feels like she always will. Especially when he's in sight. When he's not she can push it away, the bond, the need she feels for him. But when she can see him. Actually open her eyes and see him in front of her, it doesn't matter how far, things are different. When she's alone again, she feels hollow. Like there's some integral part of her missing, part that both forms her greatest strength and pulls at her deepest weakness. It makes and destroys her all at the same time.

She follows at a distance. Always at a distance. Never quite good enough or strong enough to stand tall next to him. Always a little behind. Even such a little way felt like a chasm sometimes, so close she could touch, but she never felt she really did. Touch him. Physical contact yes, they had that all the time, from the way he kissed the top of her head like she was a child when she was upset to the way she remembered their bodies fitting together in a passionate embrace. Always together, but part of her always felt alone.

She sees him separate from his companions. Sees him wander into the quiet depths of the cemetery. An old haunt...for most of Sunnydale at some time or another. A permanent residence for many, and for him now it seems. She watches curiously as she sees him open the door to a crypt and walk inside. A crypt! Her mind is tempted to let her thoughts release out loud. How the mighty are fallen! Never would he stoop to living in one of those things, he had blustered. Place for poofs and cowards. No place for the strong. No place for them. they weren't animals, she was a lady.

What had drawn him here? What had happened that no where else but a crypt in two bit town cemetery to call home. This wasn't the man she had loved, lived with, worshipped as her God and followed with blind faith without question. It wasn't him full stop. She could sense it yards away, the change in him. The complete transformation. It wasn't like the behaviour he had exhibited that had led to the end of their relationship, it was...worse. It was genuine care for others, other than herself, something she had never known, something that made her afraid of him. That he had become them. Become what he had hated. Become the thing that had tried to destroy them both.

Absent mindedly her hand fumbled with the silver necklace hanging from her neck. He had given it to her, it had belonged to the first kill. His first kill. Her had given it to her as a mark of gratitude. A sign of his dedication, then and for eternity. True she had left him for a fungus demon, but he had caused the first betrayal. He had taken her away from her sire, her maker, he had taken her and left him to die. They had to wander the underworld for a while, he had been afriad Angelus would come after them. He hadn't. Strong Angelus had become that 'thing' in L.A that brooded and was determined to spoil their fun. Then he had been caught, captured and tested like a dog and now he helped the slayer. She who he had ranted and raved about for months on end. What he was going to do to her when he caught her, the tortures he would inflict.

She pushed open the door of the crypt and walked inside. He was lying on his back with is hands behind his head. How many times had she seen him like that? So cool, calm, the embodiment of sophistication. When she saw him like that she could almost forget everything else. The weakness, the betrayal, he looked so strong, undefeatable, she could forget...almost. The click of her shoes on the stone roused his attention from the television and he looked up. He looked shocked, and immediately jumped to his feet.

'Dru? What...what the hell are you doing here?' he stammered.

'I was in L.A with Darla,' she cooed, walking closer and stroking a hand down the front of his jacket.

'You were?' he answered guardedly.

'You didn't hear about it?' she was a little surprised, he had always been so well informed. 'We had lots of fun. A party, with lawyers. They were very tasty. And Angel let us have all the food we liked.'

'Bollocks, that prat wouldn't let a vamp lick the congealed blood from a dead rat without trying to stop him,' Spike replied.

'Well he let us play. And Darla. My new darling baby.'

'Darla?'

'I brought her back Spike. Those nasty lawyers raised her as a human. She didn't like it. Something had to be done. So we did it. We ate them...all!' She squealed at the recollection.

'You sired Darla! Bet she was impressed by that!' It was Spike's turn to chuckle as he remembered the temparament of their grandsire.

'While I was in L.A,' she continued, ignoring his remark. 'I thought I would come here, to give you something.'

'Oh yeah,' Spike answered with interest, remembering and liking Drusilla's previous presents to him.

She turned her back on him and put her hands to her neck. Slipping off the necklace she turned and laid it flat on his open hand.

'What's this?' he said warily.

'The necklace, you gave me long ago. I don't want it anymore Spike, you can give it to your slayer.'

She watched him, expecting anger, remonstrations. She knew how much she'd hurt him when she'd left, he loved her passionately. This was the final blow, this would surely kill him.

'You see, I've heard a lot about you lately Spike. That thing they put in your head has made you as helpless as a puppy. Not the strong Spike I loved. My Spike wouldn't kill our bretheren. My Spike wouldn't help a slayer. you're as bad as Angelus. I don't want it anymore Spike, and I don't want you.'

She finished with a smirk, waiting for the tears or shouts. To her surprise, he kept his face perfectly straight. He took a deep breath and sighed.

'Fair enough, see you around Dru.'

She couldn't have been more shocked if he had slapped her in the face. She stood their for a moment, watching his back as he turned and lay back down on the crypt and turned his attention back to the television. Gathering herself together again she turned and stomped away from the crypt, back to a waiting Darla, back to a brave new world, full of people to kill and places to go. Although she never mentioned it again, it bothered her that he didn't care more than he showed. Perhaps he hid it well, but the doubt was still there that he didn't love her. Even though she was beginning to hate him, the fact that her leaving didn't cause him the fist time niggled at her wherever she went.

In the crypt, Spike wrapped the chain of the necklace around his fist and twirled it around. When she has given it to him it had caused a stab of pain, but one he was able to control. They had so much history the two of them, so much time together, such a bond. He would always come second. Second to Angel, maybe now to Darla as well, and he had better ways to spend his time than moon after Dru and pine for her. Maybe he would go and spar with the slayer. A slanging match and a few punches would soon set him to rights. In fact, hunting with Buffy would probably make him feel better. He turned off the television and walked briskly out of the crypt whistling. Oh yes, their was life after Dru, and if he had his way, it might be very, very good.