The Tao of D/s

The feminine side of Tao is called Yin. It is depicted as white in the Tao symbol. White, it should be remembered, is not a color in itself: rather, it is that which reflects nearly all the rays of sunlight. Black, or yang, absorbs light. The Western world views white as representing good, versus the evil black; yet this value judgment is not seen in Eastern cultures. Rather, white and black in the yin/yang symbol represent two parts of a whole.

The natural dominance of a man to a woman is accepted as well. This is not to say other expressions of dominance do not exist. The way of nature, however, reflects the relationship of man and woman. One is not complete without the other -- black and white, or male and female -- just as a Dom is not complete without a sub.

Yin is sometimes described as a calm pool of water reflecting what looks into it, just as white reflects light's rays. When something enters the pool of water, ripples spread out and influence everything that is seen in the water, while the pool accepts and nourishes that which entered it. She is that from which life comes: a giver. She is the Mother. As the yin of a D/s whole, a woman assumes these characteristics. In all things, childless or as a mother of dozens of children, she exhibits the endurance, tolerance and patience of the feminine.

A sub reflects her Dom and represents him. She allows herself to be entered, accepting her Dom's discipline and guidance, and nourishing her Dom in return. This is her strength, and why she is part of the whole, never less.

Submission is far from a passive state. Submissive does not mean weak. Often a mother subordinates herself for her children. This is the nurturing aspect of femininity. It is a matter of nature that allows her to subordinate while finding joy and strength. The fullness of a mother is her sacrifice, and her love. The fullness in other aspects of submission lies in the times when her will comes second and is part of what makes the Dom more. The fullness of her life can be seen in its richness: in the successes of children and/or Master; in the care they felt when they fell; in the full swell of a woman's body; in the womb of her experience which has spread and accepted life; and in the inner depths which are explored in D/s. It is a gift that she gives as a giver of life. In the same way, a sub must learn to nurture herself, for her being is valuable as well. This nurturing includes physical self-care and grooming, as well as emotionally caring for herself. It can also include reaching her highest potential in her career. Through being honest with herself and her Dom, she teaches herself her own strengths and gifts and admits the areas where she needs guidance. Her Dom may help her better define her weaknesses as well as her strengths, offering his guidance to help her enhance her own being. This is how the inner depths are explored in D/s.
Then there is the other side of mommy: the wanton woman, unseen by most, and reserved for a special man. She is the woman of your fantasy, and will be the realization of mine.

In D/s, Dom and sub find each other, and perhaps each a little of themselves. The expression of the Dom as the sun works well in describing the relationship of Dom and sub. While the Dominant is the sun and the wind, the sub is earth and water. The earth revolves around the sun. The wind exists, as does the sun, above the earth and her water. In this relationship the earth mother gives life, and the warmth of the sun causes her fruit to grow. What she is and has is offered to the sun. She submits to his will: the warm glow that causes growth and, on occasion, causes the fire that cleanses and starts her anew. A sub nurtures her growth and the influence of her Dom with the water of life. In nature, water evaporates, seemingly disappearing, and rises toward the sun. Yet nothing is ever wasted, and the substance of life returns to the earth after being transformed by the sky and sun, to nurture what they have produced together. Water also is controlled by the movement of the earth around the sun, and those tides themselves are the most primeval source of life, and the origin of mankind. This is how far back this relationship goes.

On the surface calmness of the water, the wind causes the ripple that sets everything in motion, just as a Dom affects a sub when he first takes her. The interconnected oneness of wind and water spreads out and influences the universe, and at the height of their passion wind and water create a fury, the power and elegance of storm. This is the potency of D/s, and can be a powerful force.
This is power exchange.

In Power Exchange the Dom accepts responsibility for the whole, and seeks to rule wisely. The character and integrity of the Dom as leader particularly in areas of reasonability and trust create the character of a D/s relationship, as does the subs acceptance to accept her Dom's leadership. As he leads he maintains and nourishes his sub, gaining trust and compliance, or fails and this action will cause disharmony. However, when leadership is positive the relationship becomes potent, and each grows and contributes more to the relationship.

A wise leader rules with the least interference, and thus allows creativity. People learn when they want to please the leader, and are allowed to find the fullness of themselves and the knowledge they have gained on the path the leader sets for them. However, the wise leader knows they must walk the path on their own legs to gain enlightenment.