We all wish we had somewhere to express ourselves at times. Well this is my place. This isnt a diary or journal as such, just a place that I can express a few words now and then. What am I going to say ...
NAME ANALYSIS FOR: Lex Adams
Lex:
You are fair-minded, sometimes to the point of being opinionated. You have a strong need to be loved and appreciated. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have many diversified interests.
Adams:
You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You have a discriminating nature coupled with perseverance and family pride. You have a need to be up front. You are always involved with projects and things to do. You try to be prudent. You have good business acumen.
Okay I know its not much but its a beginning. A small starting point of who I am from a simple analysis of my name. Yep you got it, for the first time I have identified myself for "real". This is the real me. On line I was known as Master Lex, Master Adam, Mstr Rowan, Lex_is_now and LexMasters. depending on which messenger service or email you used. That was the complete "online" me. I am phasing out all of the names and will only use Master Lex or Lex Adams for simplicity sake and because I dont feel the need to hide behind an online identity. I want people to know the real me because this is who I really am. What you see is who I am. I am no different online to what I am in reality. I conduct myself the same regardless of the medium and will continue to do so. I am a very complex individual in many ways but that just makes me interesting.
My World
I live in my world, my personal space. The place that I am comfortable within my self and with others.
I use `my world' because I am honest enough to admit that what happens in my world (where I govern, walk, live, interact, etc.) does not apply to the generally accepted norm of society or of living within the bounds of a more 'conventional' D/s or M/s relationship.
The problems I view as `problems' do not enter my world because I refuse to let people affect my world in a negative sense, they may knock on the door with it but they rarely gain entry.
If I get exposed to the `player, wanna be' person, I remove myself or disengage. If I find a person (or group lacks manners and appropriate conduct toward a Dominant or submissive, I do not associate or socialize with said individuals or group and will not attend functions where I would have to deal with them. If I find people who omit truth or lie or have no honor code, I am gone or they are gone. I dislike stupid people............. etc. etc. etc.
People only have the power to affect me or my life negatively if I were to give them the power to do so. And that I refuse to do.
Does life throw stuff at me like it does at everyone else? Sure it does. I have a willingness to make concrete choices/decisions (black and white), knowing who I am and living with my choices/decisions, good bad or otherwise, rather then any special ability I may have or thinking I am better then others.
`Easy come, easy go'. When it happens then I believe it, until then its all a fantasy.
At the end, people who think alike will be the ones who will be here. And if none do? I still live, work, have a M/s relationship and the sun will still rise and the moon still will set each night. `It' (my way of thinking in general and living in general) does not appeal to the masses. Never has and I doubt it will ever in the future.
Its just my way, I make no appologies for it. You either like it or you don't. Simple.
March 2002. Returned from the USA. Alone in Sydney, almost penniless. What do I do, find a place to live, get a job, not that difficult. Begin rebuilding.
July 19, 2002, I injured my back, I was almost crippled. I am still recieving treatment and have undergone surgery. I now have about 80% function and movement in my back.
Even with my injury things are not bad, I am still building and growing and the future while not brilliant is still good. I am getting there.
Life is still improving, I have plans, I always had plans, I will move forward and I will not just survive but I will grow and prosper. I feel that within the very depth of my being.
I know I know I have heard it many times from others and I have said it in the past but I do want to establish a place of peace and tranquility. A place where people can come to relax and just be themselves. I feel I am beginning to achieve this at last. I now have a dungeon that I am proud to call my own and it is fitted with a wonderland of play equipment and furniture and its still evolving and probably always will.
I now host regular social evenings and play parties and a variety of lifestyle people drop in at all odd hours as they feel like to spend time and share of themselves.
Several people stay overnight or longer at times and its all good. I enjoy the company and diversity of these people who have become good friends. I always have a spare bed available and a place at my table.
Recently I managed to help a submissive who really needed a shoulder and being able to do that was a real honour for me because thats a huge part of what I am about. Extending the hand of friendship and assisting those who have a need within themselves.
I look to the future and I dont kid myself because the road ahead will not be smooth and I am sure I will face adversity but the mark of a man is how he deals with that adversity, I look forward to it and challenge it and know that with perseverance I will succeed.
The dream is alive and attainable.
"There is no defeat ... just delay"
Thats been my motto since I was 16 an that has not changed, nor will it ever.
I will write more and probably on a lighter note sometime but I felt I needed to express the true me, what really makes me who I am.
I feel saddened that there are so many out there who are not genuine and are not sincere in who they are.
I am sick of the pretenders and players, the wanna be's, those only interested in their own gratification and wanting only the quick fix without thought of the lives they are affecting. I feel I have known and met more than my fair share of these of late, some I can do nothing about. They are just a waste of my valuable time. I prefer to concentrate on those that do need help and guidence. There is much I can do to assist others with their explorations of this great lifestyle of ours and much I can do to working towards a a good educational program for those new and exploring. This is a part of the driving force that is inside me.
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