As I look in on myself and reflect on the past,
I often wonder what type of shadow I have cast.
Have I been a good person to all that I have met?
Have I been a good friend, have I shared my Heart Yet?
I gave this commitment, Yes Love, to ONE in my past,
And as sure as I was of Forever, it did not last
The fear of this pain, this failure, this loss to repeat,
Sets my steps in a path of successful defeat.
I Run away from Love, in the void, I feel safe from all love's pain,
Though some have told me that with this act, there is nothing to gain
They say I must first put the past away, take a deep breath,and open my heart,
Take my time, give Love a chance, let my life restart.
I attempt to take a step, and I feel the fear,
My emotions are being held from within,I know that Love is near.
My Heart is racing, blood pounding, and the noise is so Loud in my ears,
I almost run, needing someone to help calm those fears.
I hear a calming voice from behind me somewhere,
He tells me to relax, my life He wishes to share.
The panic is there, the urge is overwhelming to run,
But with this small step, I know my journey has begun.
I am holding my ground, standing firm, but unsure,
Perhaps He will Love me,perhaps this can endour.
I have no real answers, nor do i understand Love,this is true,
My steps will move slowly, I hope that He knows what to do.
So with the reflections of my past,pain,fear,love, and the lonliness i have felt,
Perhaps this is the real test, to step forward, see what is being delt.
The Past and the present , they inner mingle as one,
BUT The Future, that is a mystery, it will just unfold when it is done.
Chyral Inman
Sept, 2005