Welcome to the Masterful Smittens Website of Goodness!

Around the Smittens Universe of Siteness

• Writing
  Columns, storys, and editorials
• Rants
  Everyone gets POed about something. What it is for me, and other people. Also, whenever I feel like saying something it goes here.
• Art Corner
  Any good pieces of art I draw (like that happens) or comics
• Reviews
  Of anything deserving a review.
• the Couch (notice the little "t" big "C")
  Stuff that isn't long enugh for "Rants" is right here. Also, I'll try to make it a rule to prod or jab Wukk to update this every time there's an update.
• Staff Peoples
  A list of the staff and what they do. If I get un-lazy and work, there'll be pics of everyone here.
• Updates
  A list of when things get updated and contains lists of old updated stuff.
• Links
  Links, links, and more links! What could be more fun?

9-20-04: Update: I'm starting to understand the term "Bandwidth Nazi". And while my concern is just as much space as bandwidth, geocities is becoming one. Yeah geocities, sure Pockymon 1, 2, and the sound clip take up 1.7 MB. Yeah right. Anyway, I've transfered it all to "oocities.com/pockymons" because I like to take advantage of free things. Also, if anyone knows who took the screen name "pockymon" (without the s) please kick them in the shins a couple times. And if they don't fall over, keep at it. And when they do, I'm sure Mr. Fluffyby (bet you guys all thought I forgot him, didn't you?) will come and jump on their stomach. And I'll laugh spontaneously, though I doubt I'll know why. 9-19-04: Okay, so I haven't updated in a while...but I'm starting a NEW project! Yay! Pockymans? Pockyman with the pocky and the man and the thing with the guy comes out and the faugh and me makes a faughughgguhg Yeah. Anyway, Yay. Check art. 7-16-04: OMG WTF HGDD!!!! TWO UPDATES! IN ONE DAY! WITH DIFFERENT UPDATE PARAGRAPHS! I know...amazing. But anyway, don't you want to PLASTER YOUR DESKTOP WITH SMITTENS BRAND WALL PAPER!!! OF COURSE YOU DO! Check out the new one in the art corner now! 7-16-04: New art thing. It's been a while, but I came up with this and another idea in the *shudder* library recently. Next to come next (soon). I actually had to tone it down...but I won't say any more about that. 6-7-04: Updated rants, and it was such a heartfelt rant that I'm completely braindead. Go, look at it now. 5-27-04: A controversy unraveled. Head over to the editorial section of Writing now! 5-24-04: Yay for fun updates! And today's definitely counts as fun! A new forum for all of everyone to visit, and visit often or my spirit is completely crushed! Yes, check it out, the link is up there. Yeah, right there (above "Links"). Have fun. 5-8-04: Of course, no updates, but I mention in some section or update or something that I'm gonna get a new URL soon, and this is true. Pluse it'll be awesome. Phil, being cool, has an awesome new word: "Finopuck" You have to say it a couple times to like it. Just try it. No one's listening. Finopuck. Finopuck. Finopuck. You know you like it, even if you don't want to admit it. Finopuck and all Finopuck branches are copyright Phil _____ 2004. Also, just a warning, if you have a dolphin, beware it. Recent studies have proven that opposable thumbs are all that keep dolphins from ruling the earth. How can they open car doors without them? Beware! 5-4-04: I have some bad news...I updated DMGM section w/ my entire stash. Plus, I put up a quicktime movie at the bottom of the page, which is a slideshow of all the currently made ones. I hope you enjoy it. The bad news is that I'm taking a DMGM break, and I'm not sure if/when I'll return. I'm sorry. Maybe that could be a prize? I'll make 10 more DMGM's? 5-1-04 (Again): Wow, two updates! That's amazing! I'm sure you all have instantly taken to Mr. Fluffyby, as I can see in the masses of emails asking for a picture of him (Read: No emails have been sent). But now I'm in a real fix. Do I draw Mr. Fluffyby, as I imagine him, or leave it up to your imaginations. Oh wait, that's a good prize! An autographed 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper w/ a high-quality Mr. Fluffyby picture! WHO DOESN'T WANT THAT!? (No shipping outside of anywhere). And if that's only one of the prizes, imagine how SUPREMELY AWESOME the others will be!!!! OH YEAH! 5-1-04: No real content update, but I'd like to do a little sell-outing, and reference Mr. S and I, in the links section, which put up a very nice comic recently. Go into the Drawings section and check out "Touche" In real news, there is a lot of stuff I'd like to do, but all of it would take lots of work. I'm trying to set up a contest soon, so any ideas for prizes can be sent to my email. The more the merrirorororooror. Unfortunately, I'm tired today, so can not think of any random or slapstick humor to insert into the intro. Oh wait, here's some... *Smittens kicks Mr. Fluffyby* Ohhhhh yeahhhh. 4-20-04: Well, for those of you who haven't discovered it, the game Super Smittens Bros. 2-1 is avalible in the links section. Yay! And on the 17th, I promised a game-related surprise! So here it is! Under the art section is the sprites of each playable character, except Bobathin, as circumstances have kept me from creating his. More info on the Bobathin crisis to come. Also, there are the sprites of each attack for the players, including Bobathin! Yay! 4-17-04: You might be pretty mad at my lack of updates. Hell, I'd be pretty mad at my lack of updates. In truth, a couple days ago I tried to update, but I guess going on vacation does something to html skillz...I think I forgot to hit 'save'. Anyway, I have a good reason for my lack of updates. You will know it. If you can stand reading this long and boring story. Anyway, a long while ago, I played a simple game. Mario, with a shotgun. It was a great feeling, shooting goombas. And I was inspired to make my own game. Now, that wasn't too bad, was it? Yes folks, Super Smittens Bros. 2-1 is here. I'm not sure how I resisted the temptation to tell people, but I did. And I'm glad. Anyway, once you get to the "Choose your Character" screen, click on whichever character you want to play as. From left to right, it's Smittens, Wukk, Tom, and Bobathin. Yes! You finally get to see Tom and Bobathin! Horah! Anyway, enough chit-chat. The game can be found at the links page. Have fun. Any comments on the game, or ideas for improvement, can be sent to me. I think my email is at the bottom of the page, but I am too lazy to check. P.S. I have a game-related surprise that will appear soon, probably within today. 4-2-04: Well, it's been a while since my last post. And the reason…I'm done with this site. Too many things are taking over. APRIL FOOLS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHH! *Bobathin comes up* "Whisper, whisper…april second…" … … … … … In other news, we need a replacement review-er. 3-12-04: The promising new section is up in Writing. Go wild looking at in many times. Or just once. It doesn't really matter. Anyways, I'm actually around 10 hits away from the big Five-Oh. Oh. Big Five-Oh-Oh. And I refuse to click "refresh" until 10 away. Then I'll be half way to 1000. And thats only since October or November or so. IN YOUR FACE HL! Thats all for today. And to keep up the storyline...*hums sixties batman music* 3-11-04: Well, I got some bad news; JUST KIDDING! HAHAHAHAHA! Also, I discovered in english today I have skillz at talking like a vampire. This is good because it's very persuade-y, and I can use "Blah! Blah! Blah!" instead of my pathetic evil laugh. Two new updates! Actually, no. No updates. The first is a new section that seems promising, that I wanted to work on tonight but didn't. The second is another responce to "Write about something close to your heart" in English. That I was going to do tonight, but decided not to...so there'd be plenty of updates later. Yes, thats it...thinking of the fans...not being lazy. Yep, thats it exactly. Bye for now (I WANT BATMAN MUSIC!) 3-10-04: Well, I got some bad news; there will be even less updates than usual. For one reason: my habit/sport is going to dominate my life for a while (a couple weeks). No, it is certainly not dancing, balet, or stabbing-people-who-make-Jew-jokes-or-say-anything-against-Jews. <_< >_>. No, I'm talking about ARCHERY of course! The classic sport of shooting anything through the heart with a crudely made pointy stick! But don't worry folks, I only shoot at a cardboard box (that certainly does not have a person drawn on it <_< >_>). Whether I actually do shoot the ol' bow and arrow, or just think about it and never get around to doing it is another question. Well, what do you know; I've come up with another reason of lack of updates! My DMGM stash is running short. But I do have a bunch of ideas in my head. But I forget lots of them. But I might get around to making them while thinking about archery. But I might not. We'll just have to see. Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates. In other news, an update is coming along very nicely! I'm doing a "How to make a website that earns 2-3 hits a day" tutorial, so that all the people who warship me have something to do to be just like me! Right now, I would stick in a joke. But unfortunately, its a top secret inside joke that might be considered too guy-ish for this site. So I won't. Anyway, cousin, I hope you understood it and are laughing with (not at) me! hahahaahhaha! Ha ha! Ha. Okay, so anyway... Now, there isn't anything else to talk about. I hope this was slightly entertaining to read. Since there aren't going to be any updates for a while. Except for that one. Oh well. If it's super entertaining, just go to http://www.oocities.org/mastersmittens/forgetty.html! Until next time, Smittens away! <insert 60's Batman music here> 3-3-04: OKAY! FINALLY! Update. 6 whole days. Wow. I was going through my ye olde 7th grade binder, and found 2 things that I think are funny, or at least are to me. Seeing as it looks lame to have a long description by a bullet, I'll explain them here. The first, "Strange Occurrences" is a poem I had to write for a poem book. My philosiphy (I have ablsolutely no idea how to spell that) was this: Write a line, and rhyme it. Write a line, and rhyme it. And, as you probably guessed, that caused it to come out looking very realistic and propper. I'm kidding, of course. It's CWAAAAAZY as if I spelled crazy with a 'w'. Oh, wait. I did! And "The Giver" and "Animal Farm" are books we read earlier in the year. The next piece is a story created with a couple friends. It was for english, of course, and called the "FATAL FIVE STORY" (the fatal five being a bunch of homonyms. I don't even think it was 5 of them, and don't really remember anything else about the title). The goal was to use all the homonyms we had just learned in a story. A few things you need to know before reading are: 1) We were all young and impressionable (as in, impressioned from movies and stuff). 2) Mrs. Lange was our english teacher. 3) Green Lantern and Superman are superheroes (for those who don't know. And if you don't, I'm not really sure why you're here. NO! I'M KIDDING! I NEED HITS! I NEED THEM LIKE AIR!! <CP reference, 5 points>) copyright some comic company. 4) Yoda is the skoolage old jedi green alien, copyright lucasfilm. 5) Group member Bill was obsessed with breakdancing, flying, and Yodamonkeys. That's all. 2-26-04: Added a link to my "Safetrix" page...it's in the art corner. 2-24-04: WALLPAPER! YAY! Yes folks, wallpaper is officially availible in the art section. Another design will come kind of soon...and it will show the form of all the staff members! YAY! 2-23-04: A short piece about my lungs in the rants section. That's all for today. But expect something cool and unoriginal to be up soon. *cough-wall paper* 2-21-04: Okay, this textbox looks REALLY ugly on the page, and I realize that, but Isaac's computer "accidently" broke, so my new homepage WITH a text box is going to take a while to be up. And I feel like I really need a text box. So basically, this is taking the place of the Couch and the Update thing until the new layout is ready. Yay. I think.

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This site has hits. Wow, I feel special.

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Any non-worky things can be reported to me at mastersmittens@yahoo.com

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EVERYTHING (except for the guy in the first comic) and I mean EVERYTHING (except for Smokey the Bear--I think he's copyrighted) on this site is © me unless otherwise noted