Bachelor Man Harmon Rabb Jr

Author’s Note: I saw the first episode of The Bachelor and this wacky idea just came to mind. The time frame of this story takes place pretty much in season eight although it’s more of an alternate universe.

JAG~*~*~*~*JAG~*~*~*~*JAG~*~*~*~*JAG~*~*~*~*JAG

11:05 EST
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

JAG HQ was currently operating at barely its minimum standard. The usual busy buzz of activity was amiss in the air, creating a peculiarly dull atmosphere. Things had been unusually quiet for the last three weeks. Yesterday, all the officers had even gotten an early dismissal. This was totally rare with an occurrence rate of about once in a year. If they were lucky.

 

Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie had just stepped out of her office and was on her way to the break room when Commander Harmon Rabb Jr fell in stride beside her.

 

“Hey” he greeted her.

 

“Hey” Mac replied.

 

Even conversations seemed to be running on the slow side.

Stepping into the small kitchen, each did their part in making their coffees in silence. Mac set down two cups side by side and moved to get the sugar and spoons. Harm meanwhile poured the hot liquid into the mugs. Mac then deposited the appropriate amounts of sugar into each of their mugs respectively. Harm finished stirring the first cup and picked it up, cautiously handing it over to Mac, handle first. “So …” he began, as he finished stirring his own coffee. “How many times yesterday?” he asked. It had become their recent daily ritual question for the morning. Having all the time to afford, they’d taken to counting the number of visits to the break room, trying to sneak over as many as possible in a day’s work. Such, was the insignificant state of their jobs nowadays.

 

Blowing on her coffee so that she felt the steam on her face, Mac took a deep breath of the pungent aroma. “Twenty-two.”

 

“Twenty-six!” Harm stated triumphantly of his own total count.

 

Mac made a face groaning, “Gawd, a trip down to the brig would be more excitement than we’re having right now.” She grinned at her next thought, speaking it out aloud. “I’m sorry Harm, but all this time hanging around you and seeing your face so often, well ... it just gets to be a bit too much."

 

Harm gave her a mock insulted glare in return. With no need to rush, they took their time lounging around and making small talk. This would’ve continued for at least another good ten minutes or so, when Petty Officer Jason Tiner interrupted them.

 

“Ma’am, Sir the Admiral would like to see you both in his office” Harm and Mac looked at each other in surprise. This was the first time in about two weeks since they’d been summoned in. “Thanks Tiner” Harm said, dismissing the yeoman who was still waiting and watching the pair with interest. He took one last sip before placing his mug down. “Well, maybe you’ll get your tour of the brig now and get out of my face. I don’t like seeing your ugly features any more than you like seeing mine.”

 

Mac splashed the rest of her unfinished coffee into the sink and turned on the water to rinse it out. Moving out past Harm who was still standing there waiting for her, she wiped one wet hand down his right cheek.

 

“Hey!” he exclaimed at the sudden wetness on his face.

 

“That’ll teach you. You should know by now not to mess with a marine Harm,” Mac said,  quickly continuing on her way out to the bullpen before he could retaliate.

 

Opening the Admiral’s door after hearing his “Come in,” Harm waited for Mac to enter first before going in and closing the door behind himself.

 

First Mac, then Harm took turns at suppressing a groan inwardly at the sight that awaited them. So called Special Agent Clayton Webb was standing next to the Admiral’s desk to his left hand side. They hadn’t been rejoicing the slowness of JAG recently due to boredom, but neither did they want anything that was involved at the levels of the CIA agent.

 

Admiral Chegwidden waved his hands before they could come to attention, “Colonel, Commander take a seat.”

 

Taking their usual seats, Mac and Harm darted glances between their Commanding Officer and Webb. Each had their own preconceived idea of what was about to come.

 

“As you are both well aware by now, this is entirely voluntary.” The Admiral’s usual statement involving such circumstances with Webb preceded the meeting underway.

 

Webb cleared his throat self-importantly. “Have you both heard of the recent television series ‘The Bachelor’?”

 

Mac certainly had. She’d followed along quite avidly to be honest. But she was instantly puzzled as to what the show could possibly have in relation to the CIA/Webb. Turning to Harm she saw his blank expression. She couldn’t help but laugh and tease, “Webb, Harm’s a naval hermit remember. He’s barely just discovered colour television … thanks to _me_, let alone knowing anything about the latest reality show,” Mac said grinning.

 

Harm shot her his ‘ha-ha, very funny’ look that was toped with heavy sarcasm in his expressive eyes.

 

“Rabb, you really need to get a life. Even I’ve heard of The Bachelor,” Webb smirked. Seeing all three pairs of suspicious eyes directed at him, he elaborated. “The women in Mother’s circles haven’t talked about anything else for the last few weeks,” he said with a small uplift shrug of his shoulders.

 

Harm didn’t bother stooping to a verbal reply at the jokes on his behalf. He gave a pointedly warning glare at Webb instead.

 

“Colonel, would you care to elaborate for Commander Rabb” the Admiral requested, refocusing the conversation back on track.

 

“Yes Sir. One man who is the most eligible candidate is chosen to be The Bachelor. He needs to have the whole package; handsome, successful, likeable and be single of course. He’s then introduced to twenty-five women, all of whom are potential brides-to-be. Over the course of a few weeks he gets to know each of the women as well as time provides for. As the show progresses, in each episode a number of women from the twenty-five are eliminated until eventually only one woman is left. This is obviously whom the Bachelor choses as his most potential partner and bride, although he is not required to propose. The entire event was filmed and broadcast on TV. It was so successful that there is a second series coming out.”

 

“I take it you’ve seen the show Colonel?” the Admiral asked with underlying amusement in his voice.

 

Mac smiled sweetly, inadvertently directing her next comments at Harm. “Oh yea, Alex Michel. Every women’s’ dream man. Tall, dark and handsome, shares the same killer looks as James Bond.” Harm looked at her, raising an eyebrow high in scepticism. He bit back the urge to make a sarcastic comment.

 

“So what does this have to do with us Webb?” he asked instead, not disguising his annoyance. He didn’t have much else to do, but sitting here listening to Mac gush about some good looking man was not his idea of a good or bad time.

 

Part II >>