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III. Look back with longing eyes and
know that I will follow, Hold me on your heart as the brave
sea holds the foam,
Love Songs For the
last time this year round, the sunset was fading leisurely behind the horizon,
leaving the sky a deep-sea midnight blue. The row of trees lining both sides of
the avenue was all lit up basking the entire city in a dazzling, golden glow. A
large Ferris-wheel domi Having
caught her attention, Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie watched absent-mindedly as
the feather twirled elegantly once, twice in the air. This sight immediately
brought up memories of a yellow bi-plane, flying similar loops gracefully in
brilliant clear blue skies. The feather came to a soft landing at her feet and
she bent to pick it up, but it flew away once again just out of her grasp. A
wry smile slowly slipped onto her attractive features. Typical.
Just like the story of my life, she thought ruefully. It was like building a thousand
piece puzzle, that she’d put together painstakingly bit
by bit, again and again over the years in the hopes of creating that picture
perfect life. But that elusive last jagged piece forever remained missing,
preventing its completion. Always just out of reach. Another year … and
another year alone. Mac grimaced, knowing full well she was being too pessimistic.
Normally, she would kick herself for harbouring this type of mentality, but at
this time of the year it was simply too hard to keep such feelings hidden or ignored.
At a time when people were not meant to be alone, she longed with an even greater
intensity to be a part of the couples and families, children and adults alike,
all enjoying the last hours of the year together. Reflecting
upon the past year and the current state of her life in general, her own tough self-criticisms
weren’t too bad. She was enjoying and loving her career. JAG was the anchor
she’d sought for so long in her life for stability. And with work, came her
family of friends. This year had been another round of strenuous challenges on their beliefs, strengths and endurance. With Bud’s landmine accident and Harm and her own close
encounter with one, Mac was perpetually grateful for all their safety and
well-being. In the
city of love, without love, the thought came to mind as Mac looked on wistfully at the throngs of
people strolling by excitedly. Another thing she would be eternally
thankful for was Harm’s friendship. No matter where she went or how much time
had progressed, thoughts of Harm and images of him would always follow, she
mused silently to herself in her mind. As time went by, they couldn’t be any closer
on all the levels of friendship. But therein lay the dilemma and the last
missing piece of her puzzle. It was getting harder and harder as the days flew
by to keep her feelings sorted and apart. For her, the fine line between friendship
and love was rapidly diminishing. The practical side of her now questioned her judgment
on holding onto what might always be false and foolish dreams. It had been over
a year since Mic and Renee had left. Although Mac was too pragmatic to hope for
any grand and gallant declaration of love, sadly there’d barely been any of the
smallest signs. The closest Harm had come to showing any deeper emotions had
been through various cryptic words and a few kisses over the years. And these
were more like stolen kisses in time, forbidden and bittersweet. It just wasn’t
enough any more. Thinking
back to Bud and Harriet’s Christmas party, Mac felt all the more gloomy. The
all too familiar tightening in her chest as she’d waited anxiously for Harm to
return from his flight, had been nerve wrecking. Then he’d merely strolled in
late as if without a care in the world. It had hit her then … a sense of
disappointment and hurt. Harm had smiled at her though, throughout dinner with more
than his usual tenderness so she’d return the smiles, taking solace in her
gratitude that he was safe. But the ache within had intensified tenfold. Either
he still had no clue as to the depth of her feelings or it didn’t matter to
him. Or perhaps
it was she who was expecting too much. Mac realised
with a start that her eyes had drifted close whilst lost in thought. The
surrounding grass areas were now occupied by countless groups of people with
rugs and food already spread out. She gave an embarrassed smile back to the old
lady sitting next to her on the bench. Getting up quickly she turned away from
the festivities and headed back in the direction of the French embassy. She
still had to tie up the last of the paperwork. It had been a slow and tedious job.
Her basic French only just performed the necessities and often she’d had to rely
on consulting her mini electronic translator. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The shrill
ringing of the telephone quickly broke through the light slumber she’d fallen
into not long ago. “Mac…kennzie”
Mac drawled out sleepily. “Colonel?” “YES SIR?”
The voice of Admiral Chegwidden brought her to alertness and she sat up instantly,
hastily blinking away the haze of sleep. “Colonel, there’s
been an emergency at the French consulate with one of our Marine officers. I
hate to do this to you …” he paused, and she could hear the regret in his
voice. “But you’re the only I can send at this time at such short notice.” “It’s ok
Sir, I didn’t have any major plans anyway.” She heard the soft expel of his breath.
“I’ve
arranged for someone to meet you at the airport and faxed all the files over which
should be ready for you at the Hotel’s front desk. You’ll need to hop on the
next flight out at “Yes Sir”
Mac replied, her mind already making a mental checklist of everything she had
to prepare. “If it’s
any consolation, you’re free to stay and take a week off if you want,” he
offered. “Thank you
Sir, I’ll take it into consideration.” “Alright
Mac, Merry Christmas” “Merry
Christmas Admiral” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End
Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Looking at the pages of my life Mac paused
once again on her way through the hotel lobby. The whole place was absolutely amazing.
The lobby itself was massive with extremely high ceilings decorated with vaults
and alcoves. Great big intricate gold-leaves adorned the walls and bouquets of
colourful roses lined the entranceway. Everything gleamed of money and
richness. She was really tempted to take up the Admiral’s offer for the week
off. Stepping
into the awaiting elevator, Mac smiled at the bellboy and motioned for the
tenth floor. First she was planning on taking another long soak in the Jacuzzi
compliments of her four star room that the Admiral had booked. No doubt another
subtle gesture for sending her all the way out here to work during the holidays.
Her stomach rumbled softly, reminding her it was about time for her own
personal feast – from the hotel menu. Pulling
out her card key, she gave a small sigh of relief now that the case with Major
McHammond had been settled. Dealing with the French had been one hec of a tough
case. Pushing open the door, Mac immediately dumped her briefcase and laptop
onto the floor – and jumped, physically startled at the sight that greeted her.
“Harm,
what are you doing here?!” Harm
grinned, wanting to ask, you didn’t think I’d let you spend Christmas and
New years alone did ya? But said instead with an elaborate shrug of his
shoulders, “Well … I didn’t have anything else to do and it was getting pretty
boring in DC, sooo … I thought HEY a few days in “How?” Mac asked, not needing to elaborate on
her question. “It’s classified”
Harm quoted with amusement, both hands in the air with two fingers wiggling, making
mock quotation marks. Mac rolled
her eyes. Should’ve known Webb would play his usual part in such schemes. “You flew half-way
around the world so that I wouldn’t be alone didn’t you?” she said with a hint
of accusation and reproach. “That’s
what best-friends do Mac” Harm stated as if it was the number one most logical rule
in the book of friendships. “Fly over
5600 miles and spend a few grand for nothing?” Mac retorted, folding her arms
across her chest and crooking an eyebrow high. Harm
thought she might as well have completed the comical image and started tapping
her heels expectantly. “You did” Good
point. She had, hadn’t she? Twice. Darn, she’d walked right into her own trap. Mac
offered him a considerably embarrassed and appreciative smile. They both knew
she was only too happy at his appearance, her reproving countenance hiding the delighted
warmth she really felt spreading inside. “Now come
on, you need to get changed out of that uniform Marine” Harm said glancing at
his watch. “Yea ok,
give me a minute.” She moved towards the mini-bar, intending to find some
chocolate bars and a drink. Harm
strode over in a few quick steps and pushed the fridge door close before she
could reach in. “Don’t even think about it Mac and hurry up, we’ve got to get
going soon” he urged with a gentle shove on her back towards the bathroom. “Where’re
we going?” she asked bewildered. “The
sooner you get dressed, the sooner you’ll find out. And make sure you put
on something warm.” Harm instructed. Mac
decided to acquiesce to his wishes for moment and continued on to the bathroom
after sending him a dirty look. Almost
exactly fifteen minutes later, Mac emerged after a quick shower, dressed
elegantly and light make-up applied. Harm
jumped up off the couch and gave a quick approving look over her matching maroon
sweater and pants. Holding the door open for her, he bowed low in exaggeration
and said, “Shall we, Mademoiselle?” Mac
laughed at his bad French accent and shook her head at his jovial mood. Whatever
he was up to, she would soon find out. She moved to grab her long overcoat and
scarf.
The Flight
Lift me up in your love as a light wind lifts a swallow,
Let our flight be far in sun or blowing rain --
But what if I heard my first love calling me again?
Take me far away to the hills that hide your home;
Peace shall thatch the roof and love shall latch the door --
But what if I heard my first love calling me once more?
by Sara Teasdale
5:00pm Local Time
Champs-Elysees,
France
02:13 EST
Sarah MacKenzie’s Apartment
Number
201, The Washington
Georgetown
Faded memories of me and you
Mistakes you know I've made a few
I took some shots and fell from time to time
Baby, you were there to pull me through
We've been around the block a time or two
I'm gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how we've come this far
The answer's written in my eyes
L'hotel
Meurice
228 rue
de Rivoli
Paris