“Araghh … $#@&!” A vast assortment of curses was being flung at anything in the general vicinity, as Mac struggled with her uniform. It was the morning she was due back at work and it was running about as smoothly as a dying engine. Without the use of her right shoulder and consequently her right arm, she’d soon discovered simple everyday tasks had instantly become life’s greatest nuisances. She’d spent seventeen long infuriating minutes engaged in a tug of war with her pantyhose. The damn stretchy material had stubbornly refused the attempts of her left hand to right itself. So now she was stuck with a constant sensation that was as comfortable as a wedgie and the telltale walk of a penguin.

After Clay’s visit on Thursday, a gigantic burden had been lifted and immense relief had set in. It wasn’t as if she had felt compelled to take things further with Clay, but there was no denying this latest mission had taken their friendship to a whole other dimension. She had no reservations about the way things had turned out and knew this newly forged bond was something they would both have fun with in times to come.

Sadly, her light weighted frame of mind had lasted for as long as five minutes. Friday had came and gone, as had Saturday and Sunday. And there’d been no show from Harm since he’d dropped her off last Tuesday. Her hours had passed with increasing anxiety, the emotional turmoil rapidly eating away at her bit by bit. Nothing had changed, yet everything would undoubtedly be different. The words she’d dreamt of hearing for so long had been spoken, but it hadn’t been intended for her to hear.

What are you doing right now Harm? Are you regretting your words? Why haven’t you come to me yet? Where are we going to go from here after all that’s happened? A thousand questions passed through her mind, not one of which she had an answer to. She couldn’t decide if the agony was worse before or after his shocking revelation. Never in her life had all her nerves, tension and apprehension been strung up so tight, in anticipation for her imminent meeting with Harm today.

At length, with a final tug, Mac managed to make it down to the waiting taxi before the driver could start on his third round of blasting horns.  

At JAG HQ many staff members had been waiting in suspended expectation. Ever since the Commander had joined in the Colonel’s absence, of all sorts of crazy theories had been tossed around as to what the pair were up to now. The rumours had lain dormant for a while when weeks had gone by with no word of the two senior officers. Then last Friday Lt Singer had subtly made mention of shootings and injuries and it had spread like wildfire throughout the office. The minutes had ticked by, but when their abnormally behind schedule Lt. Colonel hadn’t arrived, the gathered crowd had eventually drifted back to their duties.

Thus, when Mac eventually made her entrance, it went by unnoticed. Setting foot into the bullpen, she stopped at the doorway, absorbing the familiarities of Monday morning routines. It’d been six extensive weeks since she’d left and it felt like coming home ... except Harm wasn’t anywhere in sight. His office stood empty, only occupied by the forlorn darkness accompanied by the closed blinds and shut door, signalling he had yet to come in. A sense of loss and disappointment so strong unexpectedly stole through her.

Tiner’s excited exclamation of “Welcome back, ma’am!” from across the room effectively announced her appearance. Startled, Mac was taken aback when she suddenly found herself swiftly surrounded like a swarm of bees returning to their hive.  

Drawn out of his inner sanctum by the predicted commotion, Admiral Chegwidden didn’t make his presence known. In his long, loooong years in the service, he knew of no other JAG officer who had ever experienced as many exploits as Mackenzie and Rabb. What he did know was that the rest of his people were especially prone to gossip and tales of adventure, to enliven their own, often than not tedious work days. Unfortunately, Mac was taking the full brunt of their curiosity today. Deciding to give a hand to the harried Colonel, who was literally single-handedly, albeit graciously answering questions, he called out:

“Colonel, at my door in five.”

Mac looked up gratefully at the sound of their CO’s voice, “Yes Sir.”

Precisely four minutes later she broke away from the over-enthusiastic welcome back crowd, catching a quick sympathetic smile from Harriet on the way.

“Good to be back, Colonel?” The Admiral asked in way of greeting.

“Definitely, Sir. Definitely,” Mac gave a small sigh, settling into her usual chair.

“Satisfy the fan’s inquisitiveness?” He enquired with a hint of amusement, as he handed her a bundle of standard yellow manila folders.

Mac cringed slightly, before giving him a weary smile, “I sincerely doubt it Sir. I’m surprised the spotlight hasn’t already been taken by the usual star.” There was an oddly long pause from the Admiral.

“Your presence and Commander Rabb’s were required back in Tokyo yesterday. However, I need you to finalise these files before you join the Commander later this afternoon.”

“Commander Rabb’s already in Tokyo, Sir? Mac repeated, the tone of her voice clearly indicating this little piece of info was new to her.

“Yes.” AJ hid his surprise at the fact that Rabb had left without the Colonel’s knowledge. Which meant, he highly suspected; there was still more trouble between the two. He suppressed a sigh. After so many years, how the man’s mind worked, he would never understand. “Details of your … adventure leaked out to the Japanese media late Friday afternoon. Hence, it’s only just being made public here also. Confusion and speculations of three American heroes are running rampant all over Japan. However …” he paused to lean back in his chair. “It seems our resident special agent just doesn’t give up. Webb’s already gone back over the weekend, sorting out the mess with the authorities. Fortunately, he’s managed to suppress all three of your identities from the press and explained why we’ve had three Americans spying on their government. It’s actually saved us a whole lot of trouble.”

Mac bit back a smile, not missing Chegwidden’s rare note of approval in regards to Clay’s work. “He’s does come in good use every now and then.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth Colonel,” he replied dryly. They shared a good natured look of amusement; both knowing full well the Admiral was indeed pleased.

AJ shook his head, hints of incredulity creeping into his voice. “With the Intel that you and Webb had already gathered, they’ve been able to arrest all four of the MPs involved. Seems like the three of you have cracked a multi-million dollar inside job and what could’ve become a highly potential international threat.”

“What about the other members of the triad, Sir?

“They’re proving to be much more elusive. The Commander can speed you up to date on the rest of the details. Now—” he picked up another folder and passed it over the desk to her. “Here are your flight arrangements for later this afternoon. They’re waiting for your testimony and you can assist Rabb in tying up any loose ends in regards to our involvement. Someone from the embassy will meet you at the airport and escort you to the hotel.”

Although he was expecting her, Harm had to subdue the increased rush of trepidation he felt when the knock on the door sounded. After ushering her in, he turned around from the door to face Mac fully. Instantly, all the anguish and misery of the past few days no longer existed. All that mattered in this one moment in time was the reality of themselves, reunited. Instinctively, each took a step towards the other. Harm couldn't hold back any longer and throwing all caution to the wind, he acted purely on impulse. Closing the last of the distance between them, he folded her into a gentle, but firm hug. Mac didn't resist, her one good arm wrapping around his waist, holding on just as tightly. It'd been a week. A whole week without each other's presence and it had been like a deprivation of an essential need for their survival.

Eventually, the intensity that connected them slowly ebbed away. Mac pulled away reluctantly, from the simplicity of security that only Harm could provide her. He stepped back also, but placed a warm hand on her back, guiding her towards the low kotatsu table. He helped her to sit down on one of the cushions placed around the square table. Once Harm had settled on the opposite side, they found their knees touching. Neither shifted away. It was a peculiarly comforting gesture.

"Dinner?" Mac asked unnecessarily, speaking up for the first time. Two trays containing a variety of sushi and small bowls lay in wait for her.

"Yea, I thought you might be hungry after your long flight." He removed the wooden chopsticks from the paper wrapping and passed it over to her. "Dig in."

Mac took the chopsticks but didn't attempt to use them yet, preferring to use her hands to pick up the round rolls of sushi instead.

Harm noticed and chastised himself inwardly for forgetting to get a fork. It would have made it easier for her temporarily left-handedness, Rabb. "How's the shoulder?"

"A pain in the butt … and arm." She offered a reassuring smile, seeing the evident worry on his face.

As they started in on their food, a somewhat uneasy silence descended upon them. When the awkward hush began to stretch too thin, Mac broached the easiest topic. "So … the government's been feeding information to the triads, who in turn smuggled in artillery for them to add to the country's stock pile of mass weapons of destruction?" she reconfirmed.

Harm looked up from his battered fish, which he'd been focusing on. His eyes had kept straying to Mac, where they seemed to want to stay permanently locked. "Sadly, yes. Although, we still don't know precisely which country they were saving those nasty toys for."

"When do you think they'll catch the rest of the people involved?"

"Actually, that's one mission accomplished. Just a few hours ago the authorities rounded up eight members from the underground gangs."

"Wow, pretty impressive considering the dealings have been going on right under their noses unnoticed for the past three months," Mac commented dryly.

Harm shook his head ruefully. "I know. Unfortunately, what they do now is out of our hands. The US won't have any jurisdiction, since we haven't found any solid evidence that links those weapons with intention to us." He replied, with as much sarcasm as Mac's previous comment.

Conversation drifted off once again and they returned to their food. He watched as she lifted the lid to the steaming soup bowl and took a small sip. He saw her fumbling with her pair of chopsticks, trying to pick up some contents of the soup.

"Here, let me help," Harm paused hesitantly, waiting for her permission. After her small smile of consent, he leant in close over the small table, taking them from her grasp.

As he fed her a mouthful, Mac took a sudden interest in their oriental surroundings, whilst she chewed slowly through the contents of tofu, seaweed and some unidentifiable titbits. Ironically, or simply a strange twist of fate, they were back in the same hotel. The same hotel that ... she blocked off from following that train of thought, knowing the time for that would come soon enough. This time, they'd gotten a room with distinctive Japanese furnishing. Idly, she took note of the wall arts and timber décor. Luckily, we won't have to sleep on tatami mats on the hard floor.

Intuition and her senses that were so often in tune with his, told her Harm was studying her intently. She returned her gaze from around the room to meet his. Her breath caught in her throat with surprise, at the look in his eyes …

Harm pushed back abruptly, feeling unsettled and perplexed. What had just happened? He'd just been watching her as she ate. The way her sensuous lips had parted, her tongue extending to take the food he'd held out for her … Oh God, he stifled the groan inwardly. He found himself flushing, his body temperature rising steeply. She'd caught the way he'd been looking at her.

He'd always been immensely drawn to her. Ever since that fateful afternoon when he'd first set eyes on Sarah Mackenzie, an inimitable connection between them had sparked to life on the lawns of the Rose Garden. Over the years he'd discovered a conscious need to keep himself in check with her, both physically and emotionally. It had gotten progressively harder as their friendship deepened, but in recent months it was irrepressible. Tonight, as soon as she'd stepped in the door earlier, he hadn't even realised he'd been staring and fantasizing. This was truly the first time he'd lost himself in her presence completely, and unawares. Their confrontation the other night had reached them at the pinnacle in their seven years history and they were only just currently, cautiously making the perilous decent.

Now the tables were turned and he could feel her full attention on him. There was only one dreaded subject left that would work as a brief diversionary tactic. "How's … Webb doing?" There was a long pause as she debated whether or not to take his bait.

"On the mend," Mac held his gaze directly, unwavering.

"I really owe him big this time," he expelled a short wry laugh. The remark slipped out more to himself then for her benefits.

"Harm, you don't owe him anything." She hadn't expected this, but in an instant of retrospection, she understood it was the most predictable route he would take; guilt.

He got up, abandoning the rest of dinner and took three large strides to stand in front of the large, ceiling to floor window. "Mac, you don't understand." How do you explain the logistics of love, shared between two men for the same women, to that very woman? If there was one thing he had to admit grudgingly, to having in mutual respects with Clayton Webb, it was the paramount importance for Mac's safety; no matter at what cost. Therefore, if Webb had saved her life, he was indebted.

Mac remained on her cross-legged position on the floor. "Why do you need to take responsibility for me?" she questioned him bluntly.

He had no verbal answer to give, other then the obvious and so he responded only with the ambiguity of his silence. He knew it wouldn't be adequate. He followed her movements in the windows reflection, superimposed with the twinkling lights of the world outside that laid at their feet, as she rose to hers and walked up behind him. Instantly, her closeness instigated the heat, enveloping him in a familiar feeling of longing. The craving to touch and feel her, but he didn't turn around.

"Where do you get this irrational sense of duty to protect me? Her voice was quiet, her frustration loud and clear.

He tilted his head slightly at an angle back towards her. "Mac, we're partners."

"Yes, but you go above and beyond the boundaries of friendship Harm. I don't need you to shield me in my relationships. In some way or other, you've constantly had a say in my relationships with other men _ John, Dalton, Mic … and even Webb!"

Harm winced, it was true. And he could acknowledge it to himself now; he'd interfered, because it some miniscule way, shape or form, he'd wanted to be those men. To be involved with her in the way that was strictly off-limits to him. He considered his words carefully. "I just want what's best for you Mac." There was a prolonged pause, before he felt a scorching hand slide up to his upper forearm, turning him around to face her fully.

"You're really only this way with me aren't you?" Mac asked incredulously.

"No one else, Sarah." This time, his answer was immediately straight from the heart and with unsurpassed sincerity. A long minute of silence commenced and he could tell she was dissecting his words and searching for the meaning between the lines. He prayed with all his will that she would unearth them.

"You're only this way with me … because … you really do love me, don't you?" her affirmation trailed off in a whisper of truth, acceptance and awe.

Harm's heart and mind simultaneously started racing a marathon. There was only one path to the finish line. Bracing himself, he replied, almost in defiance. "Yes."

Stunned into silence, she could only stare into the brilliance of his aquamarine eyes, which were offering her everything about him. Then with a small gasp, it was she who wrapped herself around his torso, moulding her body into his.

Harm pulled her closer to him still, burying his face in her hair. "I do love you, you know Mac," he whispered, his mouth caressing the softness of her cheek.

"I know Harm. I see it in your eyes," came her muffled reply. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, fighting the suspicious stinging sensation behind his eyelids.

"Harm," Mac raised her head, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I need you to know, Clay is and always will be a special friend." She felt his entire body tensing rigidly in her arms.

"And you have feelings for him," his deep voice was faintly shaky and taut with apprehension.

"Yes."

His arms dropped limply to his sides, his heart sank. Only to resurface with the following declaration.

"But they are nothing, NOTHING compared to the way I feel about you."

He’d been standing on the verge of darkness, the void he’d once fallen into with the aftermath of Diane’s death. Her words gave him the only lifeline to step away from the brink.

Wha-what’d you say?”

“I never have and never will, feel the same way for another man as I do for you Harm,” Mac vowed with conviction and a trace of timidness.

Harm let the sound of her voice and the assurances she conveyed, flow through him, the calming balm to his soul. His universe righted itself with such an overwhelming sense of relief, a tremor coursed through him. Without delay, her arms encircled his neck, drawing him into her embrace once more.

“Harm, I’m so sorry,” Mac whispered haltingly.

“I’m sorry too Mac.”

“But I … hit you Harm!” she cried, choked up with shame.

“Mac, what I accused you of was equally as spiteful,” he halted her objection with a shake of his head. “Let me tell you, the emotional repercussions were much greater then your flimsy strike. I would've expected much more ferocity from you marine," Harm joked, attempting for some levity.

Both laughing through their tears, Mac offered, “How about if we’re both forgiven?”

“Deal.” Harm ran his hand over Mac’s hair, framing her face in his large hands to look directly into her eyes. “Promise me …” he drew a shuddering breath. “Mac, when you got shot … there was so much blood! I couldn’t decide what to do. I knew Webb seriously wounded, but all I could think about was you!”

The heartache was clearly etched on his face and in his voice and Mac felt his anguish as her own. “Look at me Harm, I’m fine. Don’t let it eat away at you.”

Harm brought his face nose to nose with hers, about to make the biggest commitment thus far in his life. “Promise you’ll never let me go.”

Her heart melted, along with any lingering reservations. “I promise, Harm.”

“Rise and shine, Marine!”

She was pulled out of a deep, blissful slumber by Harm’s way too early wakeup call. Mac raised her head, squinting at the bright sunshine that streamed in as he pulled open the blinds. Judging by the flock of noisy chirping birds outside, which’d probably just woken up themselves, it was still early morning hours yet.

“Get outta here Harm!” Mac’s head flopped back onto the pillow, groaning theatrically at his overt cheerfulness. Burying her head under the blanket, she hid her happy smile.

Ahhhhh!” Before she could help herself, a loud involuntarily squeal was let loose as she felt Harm worm his way under the covers from her feet. He propped up on one elbow, the other arm snaking snugly across her abdomen, the strength of his beaming smile almost knocking her out again.

The sun shone through the thin sheets, emitting warmth and radiance, enhancing the utter contentment on their faces. Harm leaned down slowly, giving her a long leisurely kiss so achingly tender, Mac felt her whole body tingling with pleasure.

“Good morning,” he murmured against her lips.

“Mmmm … morning.” Once her vision had cleared, Mac took liberty to physically familiarise herself with Harm’s features. He was truly, sheer physical perfection. She trailed a finger along his freshly shaven jaw line, across the fine arch of an eyebrow and down the ridge of his nose. She added another finger to her exploration of the smooth textures of his sensuous mouth. From one corner, across the curve of his bottom lip and back up over the dip in his upper.

Harm caught her hand against his face, placing a kiss on the centre of her palm. “I love you.” It was exhilarating, this new-found freedom to openly express his feelings. To witness her eyes lighting up the golden russet of sunsets, the rays dancing within. He had yet to hear those words from her, but he didn’t need them now, to tell him that his feelings were reciprocated. 

“What do you say; later on we hit the streets of this hectic city and have ourselves some fun?”

“You’re getting no complaints from me Sailor,” Mac replied languorously, pulling him down to her.

Yesterday had been wearisome, filling out paperwork and answering endless questions from the government officials. Today and the rest of the week however, was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They were left to enjoy themselves as they pleased. Laughter bubbled up in her chest, thinking back to Tuesday’s conversation with the Admiral. Evidently, their CO understood more about his senior staff than they’d given him credit for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            If he’d thought the place couldn’t get any more fast paced in the day time, he was sorely deceived. At night, the streets were literally coming alive with intense energy; the cityscape shimmering in thousands of surreal, neon technicolours. They’d jostled through the crowds, strolling through the myriad of shops, department stores, bars and clubs.

Approaching dinner time, Harm and Mac had been debating over what and where to eat. Passing a small elegant and warmly lit restaurant, Harm had spontaneously tugged on Mac’s hand and ducked through the doorway. To both their surprise, they’d each been given a kimono to change into and then shown into a small private room for themselves. Wherein, Mac was presently looking on in amusement at the predicament he’d gotten them into.

Harm shrugged indifference. “I presume this is part of their tradition.” He could tell Mac was enjoying this as much as he was, if not more.

“I don’t think they stock your size Harm,” Mac chortled. He made quite a comical figure, dressed in the white gown, covered all over in large blooms of navy flowers. It was at least two sizes too small, the fabric tightly wrapped across his broad chest and stopping short below his knees. As much as she could laugh, she also found him incredibly sexy in the attire. The sight of his bare feet, his muscular legs, his … Whoa, Red light zone! She moved quickly to take a seat on one of the intricately woven straw mats on the floor.

A quintessential Japanese waitress, fully adorned in kimono gear including wooden sandals, knelt down on her knees to take their orders. Mac somehow got a recommendation from the softly spoken women and ordered for them.

A small grill was brought in, the coals already alight and burning lively. The comfortable silence between them an extra element to the romantic ambience of the evening. Harm picked up his cup of steaming tea and raised it up to Mac. “To our first official date,” he said softly.

Mac was pleasantly surprised at his toast and returned the favour. “And to many more.”

Food was a bit of a wait, but in due course tray after tray was brought in, loading up the table like a banquet. They both stared at the elaborate set out. Harm flipped open the menu, reading the English description again for his vegetarian order.

“Kaiseki: the pinnacle of Japanese cuisine, where ingredients, preparation, setting and presentation all come together to create the most unique dinning experience like no other.”

“Tell me about it,” Mac breathed. “It looks almost too good to eat.” Almost, if not for the sudden grumble of her stomach in protest.

The sound of her stomach and their laughter broke the silliness of their stupor and preceded the lavish meal underway. Briefly in passing, amidst the haze of luscious food, Mac wondered if Harm had brought his credit card.

He was sprawled out on the grass, arms folded behind his head. SheTogether they were just another happy couple enjoying the serenity of a Friday afternoon.

“How’d you find my hotel room that night anyway Harm?” There was no need to clarify ‘which night’ specifically she was referring to.

“Webb had come by earlier. I must admit, out of the dozens, it was probably my least stellar treatments of Clayton Webb.”

Mac turned around onto her front to lean on top of his chest. “No wonder he was in such a foul mood when he got back!” she exclaimed and then erupted in laughter. “He called you and I quote, ‘ end quote.” She bit her lower lip, shaking uncontrollably with giggles.

Harm looked shocked and then narrowed his eyes into an evil frown. “I’ll remember that for future reference.”

“Spook versus Navy, could be interesting,” she teased.

“And just who are you vouching for to win?” he asked in a low voice that threatened action if she gave the wrong answer.

But the marine she was, Mac ventured straight on. “Hmmm … I dunno, it’d be a tough one. Although CIA agents are generally more cunningWhen their breathlessness had subsided, her curiosity returned. “What was up with you that night anyway Harm?” Mac asked.

He considered bringing up the issues of insecurities at seeing her with other men, but decided to leave it for another time. “I’m thinking it had to do with the three bottles of this drink I had. What I’d assumed to be water, but obviously turned out much stronger.”

“Harm you idiot! That’s sake.”

At his blank look, she groaned in exasperation. “Japanese rice wine. There’s at least seventeen percent alcohol in that stuff. No wonder your mind was plastered.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know, Miss cultural-know-it-all.” Harm threw back with a wide smile.

Mac rolled her eyes, a come back at the ready. “Well, maybe if you pulled your head out from where it’s wedged up the“You just keep going with that and see if I get you that ice cream you wanted,” Harm warned. Seeing her eyes wide with feigned angelic innocence, he couldn’t deny her anything.  

Returning from the side street vendor, Harm walked briskly back across the grassland and stopped short in his tracks, entranced. For the first time, he really allowed himself the candid appreciation of the beauty of the women he’d fallen in love with. Mac relaxed with her legs outstretched, leaning back with her body supported by one arm behind her. Her eyes closed, face upturned to bask in the warm sunlight, she was exquisite. She was like a Rembrandt masterpiece. The exclusive result of the joining of light and shade, to become the woman she was today. For all of his life, he’d been consumed with one search to another; his father, Diane’s killer, his flying career. So this is what being in love truly feels like, Harm thought to himself, grinning foolishly. It was like being on a constant overdose on love and it’d turned him into a love sick puppy. Not that I mind, he thought mischievously, as long as my devotion is returned with equal attention.

He jogged the last few feet over and plonked himself down, deliberately knocking Mac over gently in the process.

Their bodies fought to occupy the same space. Mac shot him a mock glare. “Shove it or loose it flyboy.”

“Loose my six? You wouldn’t want that, would ya?”

The seductive drawl and suggestive tone of his voice caused goose-bumps to break out over her arms. His masculinity was one of her few weakness. Despite the shiver that swept through her, Mac claimed her ice cream to cool down the heat she was feeling inside and out. Munching on her cone, she reflected on the past few days. It was hands down the best time of her life. Right now she was suffused with a constant sensation of humbleness and honour, at being the recipient of his love. She couldn’t imagine being happier than she was at this moment. Paradoxically, she was also blissfully certain of more, greater joy between herself and Harm. This was only just the beginning and the possibilities for them were infinite. Which brought her to the following issue.

“So what’re we gonna do about JAG?”

”To be honest, I dunno Mac. I guess we’ll just take each day as it comes.” the anxiousness in his tone was audible, but she soon put him at ease.

“Good idea.”

“You know Mac, sometimes I wonder if we weren’t at JAG—”

She placed a finger on his lips to silence his ‘what if’. She’d already had plenty of those and was getting rid of them. “This is the job we signed on for, so let’s not contend with ‘what ifs’ ‘k?”

That was good enough for him. Harm stretched out his long legs, tugging on Mac gently for her lie down and rest her head on his thighs. He tucked the flower he’d plucked on his way back from the vendor, behind her ear. Harm grinned at his spur of the moment decision; serenading Sarah Mackenzie had just his number one priority.

“Did I ever tell you I love your smile flyboy?” Mac mentioned wistfully.

The effect was instantaneous, the happiest elation brightening up Harm’s face to showcase the aforementioned smile. “Really.”

Mac pushed herself upright, slapping his knee playfully and turned away, saying cheerfully, “But your infinite cockiness is insufferable Harm.” Before she could anticipate the move, Harm had twisted her back around and securely pinned down. The delicious feel of his body and sound of his husky voice filling all her senses.

“So what else do you love about me?” he whispered into her ear.