Amorelettronico Psycho le Cému / Noir fleurir Seek x Kengo by Tendai tendaikudou @ yahoo . com http://bokunote.viskeimusume.com Archive: Probably, but write and ask me please ^^ C&C: Very much welcome so long as it's not flaming~ Warnings: Fluff, fluff and more fluff XD ~ Long-ass pre-fic ramble/explanation (otherwise known as comments ~_^): "You still close, when somebody says And I want to you not by your way, And you tell me this time Nowhere I go I am not by your side, Time after time after time Never you used it control by my side, Never you made and you tell me goodbye You are my side, you are my soul You never talk." Tendai! What is this bad English you're using? And what's up with the oddly-Italian name of this fic?! Patience my children XD The song bit I just quoted is by an Italian DJ named Gigi D'Agostino (known affectionately as Gigidag by his fans). No, it's not the best English but it's still beautiful and when you listen to it, it's even more beautiful. So if you can find it, please do, it's one of my favourites out of all his music. I love the line "Nowhere I go I am not by your side." What can I say, I'm a fluffy romantic dork ^^v I know the pairing is odd too ^^;; I've been trying to think who I should match Seek up with in the current PLC world I've got going on and having no luck. There's the whole Yura-sama and Aya thing, and I think Daishi's in love with Lida if the fic I'm working on now has anything to say about the matter. And I don't see Seek as being the type of person who would just sleep with someone without attachments like Lida seems to, you know? So..I've been pondering and pondering. I could have left him alone but he just needs to be with someone because of his personality. So today at work I was ponnndering as I was designing a poster, and suddenly it hit me: Kengo. I'm not sure why I got THAT name in particular, but it worked and seemed right somehow. My characterisation for Kengo in this comes from various things - the Noir Fleurir PVs, lives and untranslated TV interviews that I've seen, the comment that they made in an interview about their reasons for dressing like they did and my perceptions of all of these things. And some (well, a lot of) imagination. Oh, and the Okan thing is Seek's nickname in the group, it's the Osaka dialect for mother because that's what he acts like according to the other members of the group. XD And I had Kengo use it just because the Kengo in my head is fiendishly adorable if somewhat odd and it seemed like something he'd do. Alright, alright. I'm finished. Really. You can actually go read the story now. WAIT! One more thing. Credit goes to Matrim for the line "I belong nowhere else but here because you are home to me." It comes from a piece of her fiction that she showed me and she was nice enough to let me use it since it makes me go all squishy ^^ For Yil and our shared addictions to Noir fleurir and good bad songs: "Boku no miisha~ Boku no STRAAAAaaaaaYYYYYY!" ~ "Ne, Okan! What are you thinking about so hard?" I can't help but smile when I hear him ask that question, half expecting that he's going to poke me like a curious child but pleasantly surprised when he just flings his arms around my neck from behind instead. "I bet you're thinking about me,"he continues, edging around until he's embracing me from the front rather than behind - which, incidently, leaves me with a lapful of squirming Kengo. Not that I mind at all, and no one could think I do given the way my arms go around him immediately. He does wonders for pulling me out of my quiet moods. "Am I right?" Answering is going to be difficult, given his penchant for playing with my piercings whenever he's close enough to touch me. Something about the various pieces of metal in my lips fascinates him and I love him enough that I'll indulge him and sit quietly while he does. He's doing it now, one finger flicking at a spike jutting out of my face, but he's looking at me expectantly for an answer so I try to give one. "Of course you are." My response is automatic, and I don't worry that he'll know it's a lie because he is the only person I have ever found who is cuter when they're frustrated than when they're happy. "Liar. Now what were you REALLY thinking about Okan-chan?" I make a face at the nickname, metal curving into something that I would like to think looks terrifying but only makes him giggle and rest his head on my shoulder. Sometimes I wonder if he's afraid of anything at all. "I was thinking about the others, there's something wrong lately and so far Daishi hasn't pulled me aside to ask me about it. Yura and Aya..." I leave off for a few minutes, brows furrowing as I try to unknot that little problem - but without knowing exactly what the problem is, I have an impossible time trying to figure out what I should do about it, if anything. It seems lately like everything is going strange all at once. Daishi looks worried, more so than usual. I'm used to seeing him fret about something, but usually he comes to me and tells me what's going on so we can work on a solution to it. Even Lida has been more subdued lately, which either means he's found some new sort of perversion to entertain himself or there's something on his mind. And then there's Yura and Aya, the problem I can't solve because I don't know what the problem is. The only thing that's not strange, it feels like, is the man sitting in my lap right now. Well, he is strange but the type of strange he is has become familiar to me. I remember reading a line in a book once that said "I belong nowhere else but here because you are home to me." That is how I feel about Kengo. Strange as he might be, coming home to him and seeing his face light up when I appear in the doorway makes me happier than any compliments based on my music ever could. "I love you." It comes out of nowhere, and I imagine he must be a little confused to hear it on the heels of what I just said about problems within the band, but as usual he defies my predictions as to what his reaction will be and just tightens his arms around my neck, tipping his head up to look at me for a moment before nuzzling his face against my neck again. He doesn't need to say anything in return. Some things, you just know. "Sosh'n vius tis halwen p'ree 'n fr'di." I blink and can't help but wonder if he's speaking in tongues suddenly. He's a strange little creature and I wouldn't put it past him to do so just in order to see the confused look on my face. I tug lightly at his hair to get him to look at me. "Repeat that again so I can understand it?" He grins. He looks like a demon when he grins, even without the makeup most people associate with him and with his hair an unbrushed, spikey mess. "Soushi invited us to his Halloween party on Friday." As far as I know, Soushi is the only member of Noir Fleurir that Kengo still sees with any sort of regularity. He's friendly enough to the others when he sees them, but Soushi is still his actual friend. I've met him once or twice and he seems like a nice enough sort: Quiet, a little strange, but I think all of us who are engaged in this business have to be just a little bit off in the head somehow. I have to think for a second to make sure there are no obligations band-wise. I know we don't have a performance, so that's not an issue. Yura and Aya will probably be doing whatever it is they do together, Lida will be at some club trying to seduce every breathing thing in sight and I'm not sure what Daishi will be doing. But knowing Kengo, he will just insist that we bring Daishi along if he has nothing else to do, so I'm not worried about that. Besides, it will give me an excuse to see my Kengo in a dress, since the only time he goes visual anymore is for costume parties. He doesn't disappoint me: "I thought I could wear my costume from Omocha no Miisha and you could..." "Kengo, I will not dress up as that rat-gerbil-cat-hamster thing, whatever that was, from that video." He smacks me in the chest for that and I grin at him, the previous somber mood completely gone at this point. See what I meant? It's impossible to be at all down around him. "I wasn't going to SAY that, Okan-chan. I was going to say that you should maybe wear that costume you had for Ai no Uta. It's the only one I can think of where you don't have anything that'll get in the way of me kissing you when I want to. Just don't wear the penis-face costume." He refuses to call the outfit from Prism by the right name. Though I do have to admit, the face piece I was wearing in it does look somewhat phallic. He's made references to doing things with it before that have made me choke on what I was drinking at the time, much to his enjoyment. He's still talking while I'm spacing out: "..maybe the cute schoolboy one - you know the one I'm talking about, from Roman Hikou. That way I could stare at your legs all night and everyone else would be jealous because their dates won't have legs as nice as yours are." He looks up at me, obviously expecting some sort of decision, and I run through the various positives and negatives of both costumes quickly before answering him. "Roman Hikou, I think. The makeup for the Ai no Uta costume is too much work to remove later. So you'll get to fulfill your perverted schoolboy fantasies after all." A snicker, and then he leans up to play with my piercings with his lips and tongue this time. It will present an interesting image, I think: Little goth boy in a dress with a schoolboy following after him. I know that's what his motivation was, he still has the visual artist's love for making people look twice no matter how nonvisual he's gone now. "Do you think it would be okay for us to bring Daishi if he doesn't have anything else to do? I don't want him to just sit at home and do nothing." The arms around my neck tighten again. He loves seeing me go into what he calls my okan-mode and fret over the well-being of my bandmates. No matter how many times I've told him that enjoying the sight of someone else stressing over something probably shouldn't make him that happy, he won't stop. And I admit it, it's another one of the little oddnesses that makes me love him so much. "Soushi said we could bring whoever we wanted. He's rented some sort of club or banquet hall or something like that. I don't remember exactly, but the address is written down somewhere." I groan internally. With Kengo, 'written down somewhere' means it could be scrawled on his arm, the wall by the phone, or any number of other places. Perhaps, if I'm lucky, it might even be on an actual piece of paper in a place that's easy to find, though I don't remember that ever happening. I even went so far as getting him one of those little palm computers so maybe he would start to use that instead of whatever other surface made itself handy. The only things he's ever used it for are playing games and making the voice software say dirty things to me at random times. I think it's a hopeless attempt. "I'll call Daishi later and see if he has any plans, then. And make sure you find the directions and time before Friday, since mere mortals like myself could never hope to discover where you might have written them down." He bites me for that and manages to look disgruntled for a second before he squirms around to get more comfortable in my lap. The rest of the night is spent in a quiet sort of harmony that is broken only by the occaisional snicker from one of us at the movie we put in, and later the sounds of two people getting ready for bed and the pleasant activities that follow. ~ Two days later, I stand in our apartment ready to go while he races around trying to find this or that piece of his costume. I can already tell that we're going to be here for a while longer so I sit down in the same place I occupied a few days ago when he told me about the party tonight. When I do, I pull a blanket over my legs because it's almost too cold to be wearing shorts. He wouldn't be budged on that part of the costume, but at least I managed to convince him that I should be allowed to wear better shoes than the geta that actually go with it. A black and white blur runs by in the direction of the bedroom, and in a few minutes passes by once more on the way to the bathroom. I do my best not to snort, but the sweatpants he's wearing under the dress to keep warm until we leave add a certain quality to the look of gothic cuteness he's trying to achieve. I do manage not to laugh outright, though. The next time he comes out he actually comes to a complete stop. The sweatpants are gone and the last bits of his costume have been added. He twirls around once and I make an appreciative sound before standing up. No one looks quite as cutely scary in a dress as he does, and it gives me an odd feeling of pride to think that I'm the person he chooses to be with. When I stand up, he edges closer carefully so he doesn't crush his skirt and slides his arms around my waist with a content noise that sounds suspiciously like a purr. I'm hesitant to hold him because I don't want to mess anything up, but I do manage to take one of his hands after unwinding him from around my waist. I even kiss it, making him grin at me in a manner that makes me know what sort of comment will come next: "And later you can kiss something even better!" He's such a little pervert. I hope he never changes. All he gets in return, though, is an expression that tries to be innocent but doesn't work. It's difficult to look like a schoolboy with so much metal in your face, no matter how good the uniform looks. It's his turn to look skeptical now, but he doesn't say anything. No, he just pinches me through the shorts and then bounces off towards the door. He doesn't let go of my hand and I'm dragged along after him, able to halt the restless force of nature that is Kengo just long enough to slide my feet into shoes and grab keys to the apartment before he flings the door open and pulls me outside with him. I was wrong, it's not almost too cold to be wearing shorts, it's definitely too cold. We had originally planned on just walking over to the hall that Soushi rented since it's not too far away, but the fact that I don't think I'll be able to feel my calves in five minutes has cancelled out that idea. "Ne, Kengo, let's get a cab. It's too cold out here." He nods and I can tell he's shivering too, the dress he's wearing isn't all that long or that thick, so he's in about the same place I am. He looks more pitiful though and so I take off the blue scarf that goes with my costume, shaking it out and laying it over his shoulders. He looks at me with a sweet little smile on his face: "My Seek." For some reason, gestures like that always bring out a vaguely possessive feeling in him, and I've heard those two words spoken after I've done something as small as bring him coffee in the mornings before I go to practice. No matter how many times he says them, though, they never become old or boring. There's always the same tight feeling in my chest that makes me want to slip my arms around him and hold him forever. "It's cold,"I murmur in an attempt to excuse the fact that I'm probably disrupting the perfection of his clothing by wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him up against me. He doesn't seem to care about that or his makeup, though, since the next thing I feel is his cheek nuzzling my neck. Warmth is a pitiful excuse to use in order to hold your lover, but I know he sees through it anyhow. "Let's just walk, we can stay warm enough like this." His voice is a low breath against my neck and I find myself nodding despite the fact that my legs are freezing now. Sometimes physical indignity has to be brushed to the side because there are other more important things. People have borne the greatest indignities for love, and cold legs seem like a trifle in comparison. We shift to a better position for walking, his arm around my waist and mine around his shoulders, melting into each other like amorous siamese twins. The people we pass as we make our way slowly towards the banquet hall either give us strange looks or get the odd smiles on their faces that people have when they see two people so totally in love that they can't help but feel happy for them. I know what that smile looks like because I've seen it on Kengo's face before when he looks at couples - he's far more a romantic than most people might think. I'm just as bad if not worse, but I don't think people would be as surprised to hear it about me as they would about him. Sometimes a moment so perfect happens that you swear you can hear music playing the background as if your life has some sort of embedded soundtrack, and everything is so perfect you're almost afraid to breathe. That is what this walk is like, seconds of absolute joy fading seamlessly into one another until I can't distinguish what happened a minute ago from what is happening now in a blissful, love-filled monotony. The only thing I am conscious of is the feel of Kengo against me and the way his head seems to fit so perfectly where it rests against my shoulder. Somewhere inside myself I hope that every other person we pass will someday find something like we have because when you are in love, you want the same for everyone else around you. We are more than in love: We are one person occupying two bodies and to me that is the perfect state of being. I cannot imagine living any other way and I cannot remember how I managed to do so before I met him. The moment is over too soon, as tends to happen at times like this. Too soon we are approaching the hall and surrounded by the noise of people and cars stopping at the entrance. Kengo shifts at my side and lifts his head up, giving me a smile that's almost sleepy in nature and making me wonder what sort of thoughts were running through his head on the way here and if they were the same as mine. "It's crowded already! Too bad Daishi couldn't come, it looks like it's going to be fun." He almost has to yell to be heard, but I catch his words and nod. Somehow Lida convinced our vocalist to go out to a club with him. I'm not sure how he managed that, since Daishi usually isn't the clubbing type, but I think it will be good for both of them. Daishi needs to get out more and maybe his presence will stop Lida from trying to molest everything in sight. Though I don't have too much confidence in the latter. It looks like Soushi told just about everyone they could bring friends if they wanted, either that or he just knows more people than I could ever hope to. That wouldn't be that difficult, given my penchant for being a homebody rather than going out and being social, but still - the hall is packed and we almost have to fight our way through it. Both of us respond to greetings shouted out, me by waving and Kengo by calling out to them or occaisionally hauling me through the crowd so he can hug them. For such a small man, he has an amazing amount of strength when he wants to. I always expect him to be crushed in situations like this, but he just plows through the crowd cheerfully. His rambling jaunts off of our general path towards where Soushi seems to be do allow me to see the costumes, however. Some people are dressed in band-related costumes like the two of us are, at one point I see the members of Nightmare dressed in their outfits from the Gaia video, complete with odd headless puppets. We're a strange bunch, we visual types. Other people are dressed in more conventional Halloween costumes, and I find myself waving to people who greet me who I don't recognise more than once because of it. A few people I wouldn't mind pausing to speak to just a little more, but Kengo is a force that cannot be contained and I can only raise a hand at them before I'm pulled inorexibly forward towards the table where Soushi is. Once we're there, he finally stops. A good thing, too, since I think I'm getting bruises from his aggressive crowd-parting techniques. I sit down in a chair across from Soushi and he does too - not that I give him much choice, since all I do is pull him down to sit in my lap once I'm seated. Soushi and I exchange greetings amiably enough and then I take the time to look around a little bit more. Kengo is talking nonstop at his ex-bandmate, his words melting into one excited trill of sound as I divide my attention between him and the interesting sights around us. I say 'at' rather than 'to' because when he's involved with people as quiet as Soushi (or myself, for that matter), Kengo knows better than to wait for a response. He just dives into the conversation and babbles away happily, assuming that whoever he's talking to is listening. Once I got over the fact that our conversations were amazingly one-sided, I started to find it just as sweet as I do all his other mannerisms. I startle and almost dump Kengo off my lap when he whacks my leg with the hand not holding his drink. Drink? Where did he get that? It turns out that the drink is the reason he's trying to get my attention. We share the same taste in alcohol and have absolutely no qualms about sharing, so he didn't bother to ask me what I wanted when the waiter came around. I don't mind. It's nice having someone who knows everything that I like to the point that they don't even need to interrupt me to ask. He's offering the glass and so I take it, snorting at the little plastic bat clinging to the rim of it and then taking a sip. I'm still slightly cold from our trip here, but the sudden spread of warmth through my stomach destroys the last remnants of that. Letting my chin rest on his shoulder, I lean forward to set the glass back on the table before wrapping my arms around his waist again and squeezing. Everything gets quieter after that, despite the fact that we're in a crowded banquet hall with music playing so loudly it feels like I'm standing inside my own amp. It's amazing how silent an area seems without the constant chatter from the man in my lap, and I lean up to whisper that into his ear with a grin. I'm rewarded by another smack on the leg and a small "Mou..Okan's so mean to me sometimes," but he plays with my scarf and then snickers once to himself before leaning back against my chest. It almost feels like we're alone now, despite Soushi sitting on the other side of the table and the constant trickle of other industry names who wander by to greet him and compliment the party. "Ne, Kengo. Isn't that Karen and Teru?" I'm the one who spots them first as I look around again, and my whisper to him is one of barely-restrained laughter. They chose to go with band-related costumes as well, though with one small addition. The clothing is lovely, but I have to admit that the collar around Teru's neck definitely completes it. As does the leash leading to Karen's hand. I've always figured Lida to be a pervert, but he would never do something quite so open. It's amusing enough a sight that even the quiet Soushi can't help snickering to himself and Kengo starts laughing outright. I stare a little, I admit it, but in all of his talk about his ex-bandmates, Kengo neglected to tell me that any of them went in for that. It could be mistaken for an act, until one sees the obvious subservience with which Teru treats Karen. The sight of his ex-vocalist carrying the guitarist's drink sends Kengo into gales of laughter until I'm afraid he's going to fall off my lap of his own volition. Soushi is desperately trying to maintain his quiet appearance and failing. "I knew it! Remember, Soushi! After that one interview, I told you that there had to be something between them! 'Pick up my fan, bitch!'" I am, at this point, mightily confused. This seems to make the situation even more amusing to the both of them, but after a few more minutes Kengo takes pity on me and explains. "Remember that interview video I showed you? The Key Party one? And the part where Karen threw his fan and Teru was all awkward and picked it up?" It dawns on me that I do remember, but I'd certainly never placed that sort of insinuation on it. I cough sharply to hide the laugh that's threatening to come, a good thing too since the two men in question are only a few feet away from us now. Greetings are exchanged between ex-bandmates and Kengo takes the time to introduce me to Karen and Teru before he starts in on them about the current arrangement they seem to have going. Teru looks like he wants to sink into the floor and I pity him for a moment. Karen, on the other hand, merely tugs at the leash with an almost insufferably proud look on his face and doesn't deign to respond to Kengo's teasing. "You're no fun! Go get something to drink and come back!" That's the order that my lover gives to Karen, who snorts and shakes his head. But when he turns away, I swear I see an affectionate sort of look on his face for a moment before he drags Teru away through the crowd in the direction of the bar. It's impossible not to like Kengo, even when he's acting like a child. His personality is an odd mix of thoughtful man and mischevious little boy and occaisionally one of the two will outweigh the other. He wouldn't seem complete without his penchant for teasing or his moments of amazing clarity. Soushi's extracting himself from the other side of the table and both of us look over at him. He looks somewhat apologetic as he speaks: "Sorry Kengo, Seek. But I should do the host thing and greet people, make sure they're having fun. You know." He looks about excited at doing so as most people would be at the thought of cutting their own hand off. Like me, Soushi enjoys being around large groups of people but doesn't particularly know how to deal with them in a one on one situation. I give him a sympathetic smile. Kengo, meanwhile, just chirps out a hearty "ganbatte ne!" and pumps one fist in the air. Soushi rolls his eyes, laughs, and disappears into the crowd. The night gets more rowdy as hours pass and more alcohol is consumed. Costumes start to fall apart and I nearly choke on what I'm drinking when someone who I don't recognise wanders by casually naked. See? I said we're odd, and I meant it. No one seems to pay much mind to the fact that the man is naked other than what appear to be cat ears on his head. Kengo eyes him thoughtfully and giggles, cheeks a little red under the white makeup after our third or fourth shared glass. I try to glare at him: "I am NOT dressing up like that next year, Kengo. Or down, rather." He pouts again and squirms around until he's sideways, wrapping his arms around my neck and beaming at me just as quickly as he started to sulk. "But you'd look so cute Okan-chan, and then everyone could look at your ass and they'd be jealous of me, then when we got home you wouldn't have to bother with taking your clothes off and we could just get ri-mmmph!" He's cut off when I clap a hand over his mouth. Slightly drunk or not, I'm still not about to have the entire world hear Kengo's plans leading up to time in our bedroom. He doesn't bite me, though, like he normally would. Instead I feel the quick brush of a tongue against the joint of my thumb and he raises his eyebrows with an expression that could be called cutely deviant at best. I, myself, think fiendishly perverted is a better term for it, but if I say that I might get teeth to the palm rather than the tongue that's moved there now. It takes a few moments to get the desire to move my hand away and I brush his bangs out of his face. The urge to go home strikes me suddenly, both to get away from the crowds and because if we don't I'm afraid we'll end up being the main entertainment for the rest of the night. Kengo never ceases to surprise me, and for all I know he might have some hidden love for public sex that I have no desire to act on right now. "Let's go home?" He appears to have the same thoughts I do. A little unsteady when he stands up finally, he grabs the table until his legs start working. My own take a bit longer, given that I've been drinking and also had him sitting on them for the last three or four hours. We both stretch lazily and reach for each other at the same time, arms sliding around waists and shoulders until we have comfortably formed one unit. The last thing we do before leaving is find Soushi and thank him for inviting us. He waves us off with a grin that shows he's had just as much to drink as we have and a request for Kengo to call him next week so they can go do something together. Kengo nods and goodbyes are exchanged, then the two of us turn to head towards the doors. The crowd is less dense now. There's still a good deal of dancing going on, but the frantic crush of the beginning has lessened somewhat as other people retire to tables to chat, drink and eat. We manage to slip out without much notice and then both of us swear with a quiet rumble of laughter. It's still cold, and there are no cabs in sight. Our options are to walk home or to go back inside and call one, but we don't really consider the second one. We don't have time to, because before we know it our legs are moving in the direction of home, bodies clenched together against the cold. The apartment is blissfully warm when we arrive, but the arms that encircle me once we are inside make even that heat seem trivial in comparison. ++ Jrock Home Fics Home