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1. Advice is what we ask for when we know the answer but wish we didn't.

Erica Jong

2. I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

Steven Wright

3. I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged.

Roger Jones.

4. The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life.

Glenda Jackson

5. Being a husband is a full-time job. That's why so many fail - they cannot give their entire attention to it.

Arnold Bennett

6. Never put off until tomorrow what can be avoided altogether.

Ann Landers

7. Strong women only marry weak men.

Bette Davis

8. If you are foolish enough to be contented don't show it, but grumble with the rest of us.

Jerome K. Jerome

9. People try to change the world - instead of themselves.

John Cleese

10. Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.

John F. Kennedy

11. If you haven't cried, your eyes can't be beautiful.

Sophia Loren.

12. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing ties. How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

Linda Ellerbee.

13.There never was a good war or a bad peace.

Benjamin Franklin.

14. Hollywood is the only place where an amicable divorce means each person gets 50 percent of the publicity.

Lauren Bacall.

15. Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus De Milo.

Mary Pickford.

16. If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you.

Yvonne Knepper

17. Golf; A good walk spoiled

Mark Twain

18. No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Aesop

19. Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors.

Herbert Agar

20. Beauty-The adjustment of all parts proportionately, so that one cannot add or subtract or change without impairing the harmony of the whole.

Leon Battista Alberti

21. Committee-A group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen

22. My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen.

23. If only god would give me a clear sign. Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen.

24. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work - I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

25. For purposes of action, nothing is more useful than narrowness of thought combined with energy of will.

Henri Frederic Arniel

26. The nicest thing about December is letting people know we remember and care.

Anonymous

27. You're old when you forget how to start your rocking chair.

Anonymous

28. May every new sunrise bring you closer to your dreams

Anonymous

29. You have a wonderful way of going out of your way to be wonderful.

Anonymous

30. My world is a little nicer, because I share it with you.

Anonymous

31. The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.

Chinese Proverb

32. Necessity is the mother of invention

Anonymous

33. Learning is a treasure which accompanies its owner everywhere.

Anonymous

34. People only think a things worth believing in if its hard to believe.

Armiger Barclay

35. Every man who is high up, likes to think he has done it all himself. The wife smiles, and lets it go at that.

J. M. Barrie

36. Think like a man of action, Act like a man of thought.

Henri Bergson

37. You can't think and hit at the same time.

Yogi Berra

38. The game isn't over, until it's over.

Yogi Berra

39. Egotist, n. A person of low taste. More interested in himself than in me.

Ambrose Bierce

40. Men take only their needs in to consideration-Never their abilities.

Napoleon Bonaparte

41. We are closer to the ants than the butterflies. Very few people can endure much leisure.

Gerald Brennan

42. Every animal leaves traces of what it was; man alone leaves traces of what he created.

Jacob Bronowski

43. The human heart has hidden treasures, in secret kept, in silence sealed.

Charlotte Bronte

44. Unromantic as Monday morning.

Charlotte Bronte

45. Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made.

Robert Browning

46. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

William Jennings Bryan

47. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing.

Edmund Burke

48. The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing should be taken too seriously.

Nicholas Murray Butler

49. Life's too short for chess.

Henry James Byron

50. Abstract  art: A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.

Al Capp

51. The noblest of all dogs is the hot dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.

Robert W. Chambers

52. Man is what he believes

Anton Chekhov

53. I am prepared to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Winston Churchill

54. I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat

Winston Churchill

55. The nobler a man, the harder it is for him to suspect inferiority in others.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

56. All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.

Leonardo Da Vinci

57. Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind will blow out a candle, and blow in a fire.

Duc De La Rochefoucauld

58. True friendship is never serene.

Marie De Rabutin-Chantal

59. A little madness in the Spring, is handsome even for the king.

Emily Dickenson

60. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

61. Business has only two basic functions, Marketing and innovation.

Peter Drucker

62. You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.

Leo Durocher

63. You don't need a weatherman to tell you which way the wind is blowing.

Bob Dylan

64. Genius is one percent inspiration, and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Thomas Edison

65. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

T.S. Elliot

66. It is all one to me if a man comes from Sing Sing, or Harvard. We hire a man, not his history.

Henry Ford

67. A business that makes nothing but money, is a poor kind of business.

Henry Ford

68. If they try to rush me i always say-"I've only got one othe speed, and its slower."

Glenn Ford

69. Exercise is bunk; if you're healthy you don't need it. If you are sick you shouldn't take it.

Henry Ford

70. Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Ben Franklin

71. Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired.

Robert Frost

72. I shut my eyes in order to see.

Paul Gauguin

73. True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

Dave Tyson Gentry

74. The most dangerous thing in the world is to jump a chasm in two leaps.

David Lloyd George

75. You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Kahlil Gibran

76. For I'm not so old and not so plain, and I'm quite prepared to marry again.

Sir William Schwenck Gilbert (& Sullivan)

77. When we can't dream any more, we die.

Emma Goldman

78. The impossible is often the untried.

Jim Goodwin

79. Commandment number one of any civilised society is this: Let people be different.

David Greyson

80. The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but rather that men will begin to think like computers.

Sydney J. Harris

81. A committee is the only known for of life, with a hundred bellies and no brain.

Robert A. Heinlein

82. Character is destiny

Heraclitus

83. The best mirror is an old friend.

George Herbert

84. Wonder rather than doubt is the root of knowledge.

Abraham Joshua Heschel

85. As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time, at peril of being judged not to have lived.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

86. Art is not a thing, it is a way.

Elbert Hubbard

87. Be pleasant until Ten O' Clock in the morning, and the rest of the day will take care of itself.

Elbert Hubbard

88. When a fellow says "It ain't the money, but the principle of the thing" It's the money.

F. McKinney Hubbard

89. The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously

Hubert Humphrey

90. Whenever I feel like excercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

Robert M. Hutchins

91. Castles in the air - They're so easy to take refuge in. So easy to build too.

Henrik Ibsen

92. You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth.

Henrik Ibsen

93. We are inclined to believe those who we do not know, for they have never decieved us.

Samuel Johnson

94. The chains of habit are too weak to be felt, until they are too strong to be broken

Samuel Johnson

95. To do nothing is in every man's power

Samuel Johnson

96. You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

Franklin P. Jones

97. The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them.

Benjamin Jowett

98. The least of things with a meaning is worth more than the greatest of things without it.

Carl Jung

99. Children are a great comfort in your old age; they help you reach it faster as well.

Lionel Kauffman

100. Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy to the worst of them all - the human apathy.

Helen Keller

101. My love for you is as endless as the sky above.
It runs like a river through my heart.
My love for you will live forever.
Like the Earth itself and all that is life.

Ken Grant

102. About one fifth of the people are against everything all of the time.

Robert F. Kennedy

103. I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty only being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want; an adorable pancreas.

Jean Kerr

104. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Soren Kierkegaard

105. If a man hasn't discovered something he is willing to die for, he isn't fit to live.

Martin Luther King

106. Life is what happens to us whilst we are making other plans

Thomas La Mance

107. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with one step.

Lao-Tzu

108. Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Stephen Leacock

109. It may be that those who do most, dream most.

Stephen Leacock

110. Love is the chain whereby to bind a child to his parents.

Abraham Lincoln

111. No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

Abraham Lincoln

112. The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.

Art Linkletter

113. There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

Martin Luther

114. Computers can figure out all kinds of things, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

James Magary

115. The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.

Bishop W.C. Magee.

116. To be a success in business, be daring, be first, be different.

Marchant

117. A single idea, if it is right, saves us the labor of an infinity of experiences.

Jacques Maritain.

118. There is a certain phase in the life of the aged when the warmth of the heart seems to increase in direct proportion with the years. This is a time of life when a solicitous family does well to watch affectionately over the vagaries of its unattached relatives, particularly of those who are comfortably off.

John Phillips Marquand

119. We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.

Don Marquis

120. If there were no other proof of the infinite patience of God with men, a very good one could be found in His toleration of the pictures that are painted of Him.

Thomas Merton

121. A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.

Michelangelo

122. I know well what I am fleeing from, yet not what I am in search of.

Michel De Montaigne

123. What though youth gave love and roses, Age still leaves us friends and wine.

Thomas Moore

124. There are three ingredients in a good life; Learning, Earning and Yearning

Christopher Darlington Morley

125. Art is much less important than life, but what a poor life it would be without it.

Robert Motherwell

126. In every real man, a child is hidden that wants to play.

Frederich Nietzsche

127. Is life not a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves.

Frederich Nietzsche

128. Dreams are necessary to life.

Anais Nin

129. Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Anais Nin

130. Art is the difference between seeing, and just identifying.

Jean Mary Norman

131. People are usually more convinced by reasons found by themselves than by those found by others.

Blaise Pascal

132. If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

Laurence J. Peter

133. There is no abstract art. You must always start with something.

Pablo Picasso

134. Every child is an artist, the problem is how to remain one when they grow up.

Pablo Picasso

135. What matters today is not the difference between those who believe and those who do not believe, but the difference between those who care and those who don't.

Abbe' Pire

136. We may become the makers of our fate, when we have ceased to pose as its prophets.

Karl Popper

137. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Sextus Propertius

138. The only thing on the level is mountain climbing

Eddie Quinn

139. Creative intelligence in its various forms and activities is what makes a man

James Harvey Robinson

140. Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving a product as they do improving it and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

Will Rogers

141. I think somehow, we learn who we are and then live with that decision.

Eleanor Roosevelt

142. Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

Theodore Roosevelt

143. This country will not make a good place for any of us to live, unless we make it a good place for all of us to live.

Theodore Roosevelt

144. For there is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather.

Christina Rossetti

145. There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval

George Santayana

146. To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day, All in the morning betime. And I a maid at your window, To be your Valentine.

William Shakespeare

147. What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet;

William Shakespeare

148. The quality of mercy is not strain'd, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest; It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes:

William Shakespeare

149. Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from their books, But love from love, toward school with heavy looks.

William Shakespeare

150. Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.

William Shakespeare

151. This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

William Shakespeare

152. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

William Shakespeare

153. Neither a borrower nor a lender be:
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

William Shakespeare

154. Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman, but believing what he read made him mad.

George Bernard Shaw

155. Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Henry Wheeler Shaw

156. Earth bears no balsam for mistakes;
Men crown the knave, and scourge the tool
That did his will: but thou, O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool.

E.R. Sill

157. You should have thought of all this before you were born

N. F. Simpson

158. Kindness it is that brings forth kindness always

Sophocles

159. Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body

Sir Richard Steele

160. Management is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.

Casey Stengel

161. There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.

Robert Louis Stevenson

162. Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My mother.

Ann Taylor and Jane Taylor

163. How vain is it to sit down to write, when you have not stood up to live.

Henry David Thoreau.

164. Dreams are the touchstones of our character

Henry David Thoreau.

165. If you want to be happy, be.

Leo Tolstoy

166. There were times when my pants were so thin, i could sit on a coin and tell if it was heads or tails.

Spencer Tracy

167. I never give them hell, i just tell them the truth and they think it is hell.

Harry Truman

168. It ain't those parts of the bible that I cant understand that bother me, it's the bits that i do understand that worry me

Mark Twain

169. Familiarity breeds contempt, and children

Mark Twain

170. Less is more

Mies Van Der Rohe

171. We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

Bill Vaughan

172. In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.

Bill Vaughan

173. Beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder

General Lew Wallace

174. Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses.

Ira Wallach

175. There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.

Booker T. Washington

176. You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.

Booker T. Washington

177. Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life.

Simone Weil

178. Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

179. Virtue can only flourish amongst equals.

Mary Wollstonecraft

180. Nothing, I am sure, calls forth the faculties as the being obliged to struggle with the world.

Mary Wollstonecraft

181. We reason deeply, when we forcibly feel.

Mary Wollstonecraft

182. All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Grant Wood

183. When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes it seems like two hours. That's Relativity.

Albert Einstein

184. Golf, A good walk spoiled

Mark Twain

185. There are three types of lies. Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

Mark Twain

186. True friendship is when a silence between two people is comfortable

Anon.

187. Education is what you get when you read the small print experience is what you get when you don't.

Anon.

188. All my problems can be summed up by one word : Uncertainty

Anon.

199. The journey is the reward.

Taoist Saying 

200. It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.

Ursula K. LeGuin

201. When you make the finding yourself - even if you're the last person on Earth to see the light - you'll never forget it.

Carl Sagan

202. Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things

Woody Allen 

203. That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind

Neil Armstrong

204. It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.

Neil Armstrong

205. I don't know what you could say about a day in which you have seen four beautiful sunsets

John Glenn 

206. To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit

Professor Stephen Hawking

207. Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards

Aldous Huxley Brave New World 1956

208. Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong

Sir Winston Churchill 1945

209. There are places and moments in which one is so completely alone that one sees the world entire

Jules Renard, Journal, December 1900 

210. There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere

Isaac Asimov Prelude to foundation

211. I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them

Isaac Asimov Robot

212. Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country

Anais Nin, The Diaries of Ana´s Nin 

213. Only the spoon knows what is stirring in the pot

Sicilian Proverb

214. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance

Confucius

215. The true spirit of delight, the exaltation, the sense of being more than Man, which is the touchstone of the highest excellence, is to be found in mathematics as surely as poetry

Bertrand Russell, Mysticism and Logic, 1917 

216. The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth

John Fitzgerald Kennedy Speech 1960

217. If an elderly but distinguished scientist says that something is possible he is almost certainly right, but if he says that it is impossible he is very probably wrong

Arthur C. Clarke

218. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Arthur C. Clarke, "Technology and the Future"

219. The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible

Arthur C. Clarke, "Technology and the Future"

220. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player

Albert Einstein

221. I am only very very curious

Albert Einstein

222. I love to travel, But hate to arrive

Albert Einstein

223. "Fred [Haise] was still in the lunar module. Jack [Swigert] was back in the command module [CM] in the left-hand seat, and I was half-way in between, in the lower equipment bay, wrestling with TV wires and a camera, watching Fred come on down, when all three of us heard a rather large bang -- just one bang. 
Now, before that ... Fred had actuated a valve which normally gives us that same sound. Since he didn't tell us about it, we all rather jumped up and were sort of worried about it; but it was his joke and we all thought it was a lot of fun at the time. So when this bang came, we really didn't get concerned right away ... but then I looked up at Fred ... and Fred had that expression like it wasn't his fault. We suddenly realized that something else had occurred ... but exactly what we didn't know."
"... about two seconds elapsed when I had a master alarm and a main Bus 'B' undervolt [loss of power] ... I transmitted to Houston that we had a problem." 
"I guess it's kind of interesting to know what the feelings of the crew are when something like this happens. When you first hear this explosion or bang ... you don't know what it is. We've had similar sounds in the spacecraft before that were for nothing. ... and then I looked out the window and saw this venting ... my concern was increasing all the time. It went from 'I wonder what this is going to do to the landing' to 'I wonder if we can get back home again' ... and when I looked up and saw both oxygen pressures ... one actually at zero and the other one going down ... it dawned on me that we were in serious trouble."

Jim Lovell, Commander of the ill-fated Apollo 13 mission.

224. If i'm two faced why do i chose to wear this one?

Abraham Lincoln

225. Money doesn't get you better friends, but it does get you a better class of enemy

Anon

226. The man that says money isn't the root of all evil doesn't have any!

Anon

227. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Lana Turner

228. I like this calm before the storm, it reminds me of Beethoven.

Anon

229. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

Anon

230. It is my belief that the world is not permanently egg-shaped, it's just one of the phases on it's way to becoming a pear.

Anon

231. When I was younger, I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness. I was right.

Graham Wilson

232. This place is the devil, or at least his principle residence, they call it the university but any other appellation would have suited it much better, for study is the last pursuit of the Society: the Master eats, drinks and sleeps, the fellows drink, dispute and pun, the employment of the undergraduates you will probably conjecture without my description...

Lord Byron

233. A lecture is the process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

R. K. Rathbun

234. If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you

Robert Goheen (Time Magazine, 23 June 1961

235. A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep

W. H. Auden

236. The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think - rather to improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for ourselves, than to load the memory with the thoughts of others.

Bill Beattie

237. You want either a first or third. There is no value in anything inbetween. Time spent on a good second is time thrown away!

Evelyn Waugh (From Brideshead Revisited)

238. Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time, that nothing worth knowing can be taught

Oscar Wilde

239. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Dr. Seuss