20th November, 2001

With his rakish good looks, and his rapier-like wit, Quincy (played by Jack Klugman) never failed to get his man - or woman! The Thinking Man's Letch, Quincy would solve murder after murder every week, in his role as Chief Coroner and Sole Forensic Scientist to the whole of California. His crimefighting scorecard was matched only by the weight of his little black book, which managed to capsize his houseboat on many occasions. Yes, the only thing Quincy loved more than catching bad guys was catching sexually transmitted diseases from his stable of nubile young prostitutes; a new one every week!

Even on the toilet, Quincy's keen scientific mind was dedicated to solving crime - like who had used the last of the soft toilet roll!

Quincy's failing eyesight never got in the way of picking the freshest talent for his stable of girls...

Bella.

Clarabelle.

For his keen intellect, voracious libido (in the days long before Viagra) and incredible success rate, I nominate Quincy, ME for the Sidney Rumpo-James Award for Criminology and Heroic Nookiemaking.

Scoob.

Sid says: "Quincy, yer'a good bloke, and a credit to geriatric bedhoppers everywhere. My only piece of advice to you is to make sure that you don't disturb the scene of the crime as you slip in and out again. And always wear your protective clobber if yer gonna be sniffin' around in the dank. HUH-HAW-HAW-HAW-HA!

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