In 1999 I realised that the equality of man was not reliant upon written law, but upon the soggy bar-mat of a polished hardwood bench.
This website is dedicated to the characters that helped make my life a little more interesting, if not inebriated and gout-ridden...
The Observer Hotel
It's not a pub; it's a kindergarten for alcoholics - Al Meech, May 2003
“The Obbie” is my local, my spiritual home. All things in my life are somehow connected to the Obbie, whether they actually occurred there, or whether they were talked about at a later stage with some mates over a few beers. Good or bad, the Obbie has been a bit like Cheers. My friend Kieran and I have even written a song about it (posted soon).
Kizza, Al and I, at the Obbie's Desperates' CornerCurious fact 1: There is a ghost above the bistro, which is why that area is only ever used for storage. A former publican apparently killed his wife there…
We can't show you Bec's face.The Obbie "used-to-haves": The badge draw, while at one stage very popular, and instigating the influx from my work up the hill, was cancelled due to slow Thursday evenings rewarding either Kieran, Terry or myself the prize. I still know my number off by heart: 329. Its own beer - Observer Draught. I loved it. Ask for it at the bar and they may bring it back (fade in evil and menacing laughter). Also. years ago The Obbie used to let you cook your own steaks and they had a drag queen that was very popular with the sailors; s/he, like the steaks, is now dead, so stop asking – if you’d have maintained loyalty to your local you would have learnt it long ago. Finally, my aunt, who used to drink there.
The Australian Hotel
“The ‘Strayian” has for some years now been renowned for its gourmet pizzas and it has often hosted introductory nights to The Rocks amongst my friends because it is yuppyfied, although it now has a bit of competition from the Harbour View down the road.
You see, the trick to getting your friends to drink regularly in The Rocks is to introduce them to what they know, and gradually move to what you like. Your yuppie Eastern Suburbs mates will be drinking goon in a park in no time.
The Australian’s Picton-brewed beer tastes very nice on a warm day.
The Mercantile Hotel
“The Merc” is an Irish pub with many Irish backpacker bar staff, which is why I avoid it for the most part. It has a great atmosphere, especially if you go as a group, and Shaylee Wilde often plays there.
Curious fact: Steve Wearne met his fiancé Tracey in this pub.
Dan Morgan once said to the manager of the bar “Oh, that would bring a tear to a glass eye”, a common phrase. Only after he had been given the cold shoulder by the Merc did Dan realise that the man indeed had… a glass eye.
Adam, Kym, myself and Ahmed
The Orient Hotel
“That place on the corner” is described as such to outsiders who don’t know their way around. Its unique corner position on George & Argyle makes it a popular meeting point. It has several levels, including a restaurant and dance floor.
Curious fact: I was thrown out of the Orient (the only time ever thrown out of any pub) because during the Olympics I hit a bouncer over the head with a paper, imitation Olympic Torch. I returned five minutes later in disguise...
The Hero of Waterloo
“The Hero”… what can I say? Lovely atmosphere with sandstone walls and wooden floors, it reminds me of what my old high school would be like if it was a pub.
Curious fact 1: This is the oldest pub building in Sydney still standing (although its licence is not), and it has a trap door leading from the doorway to the sea which was used by press gangs. I think the band that still plays there is oldest band, too.
Curious fact 2: My friend Ahmed (AKA “You bastard”) is in a photo on the wall of a successful soccer team, near the door on the corner.
The Lord Nelson Hotel
“The Nelson” has hosted many a pub crawl, and even a birthday of mine. This was the first place I’ve seen my friend Wendy cry – her wine was spilt onto the table. Then the bitch bit me.
Curious fact 1: It is the only pub in The Rocks to brew its own beer on site. They are often dark ales – my favourite is Old Admiral.
Curious fact 2: This is the oldest pub in Sydney in terms of the oldest building and license both held together.
Kelb (legend from my work) sent me an e-mail regarding this site, in which he wrote:
Hint-I have successfully stolen pint glasses from the Lord Nelson on two occasions (both in the early-mid 90's). What you need for the task is your work bag- placed under the table- and some newspaper. If not half-inching one's own beer glass- ask your drinking buddy "are you finished with that?" as soon as they put the glass down... to which he/she or she/he or just plain old HE or SHE (it's Sydney) will give you an odd look- then discreetly hold the glass under the table- without being observed by bar staff- and wrap it up in the newspaper. Put it in you bag and quietly walk out the door- and go to another pub. However this may no longer work- it probably worked then because I was drinking with Full-Metal Domanski-----a former DIMIA officer who listed his hobbies as: Speed, Fascism and Techno. He was also rumoured to have turned up at a party once with his transvestite girlfriend in tow and dressed as Alex from Clockwork Orange. Also had a sex-slave.
The Fortune of War
“The Fortune” is popular with naval blokes and women wanting to pickup said servicemen. Very cosy atmosphere, both upstairs and down. Often the bar staff of the Obbie used to meet up here after work.
Curious fact: This has the oldest pub licence in Australia, although the actual building isn’t quite so old.
I met a Canadian sports journalist with some friends once during the Olympics – he promised to use the word “cankle” in an article, but no such luck yet.
The Glenmore Hotel
Ths was next door to my former place of work and probably should have been my local but for the fact that the best area of the pub, the view from the rooftop, was upstairs. There was no way in hell I’d be traipsing up and down those obscurely angled steps. If it was my local I’d have died long ago, probably along with a few pedestrians in the street, too.
This is an early picture from the rooftop with a few of my colleaguesCurious fact: The Glenmore served me my first lunch as a full-time employee. It was a Glenmore Burger, and as I hadn’t met anyone in the one hour I’d been at the office (I was in State HQ for most of that morning), I ate alone in the dining room until I saw Rock Hampton (yes, his real name) stumble in off the street.
The rooftop was in fact a favourite spot for long lunches in summer. Famously, or rather infamously, Kieran Eadie flagrantly defied the request of a barmaid to desist in the feeding of chips to pigeons and he was almost thrown off the building. “Well, the way I see it, I bought these chips so I can do with them whatever I want” will go down in history as one of the more stupid comments. In order to keep drinking, the rest of us pretended to not know him whilst on the premises for two whole weeks.
Peter Hill’s last day before retirement had him at the Glenmore for most of the day, and he frightened many of us when we had to bring him back to the office to be presented with a farewell gift (a 20 year old locker) and a speech by the boss. Luckily, he was retiring anyway.
The Harbour View Hotel
I heard it was something like $2 million spent on the refurbishment, and it was money well spent. There’s a lovely view of the harbour, although sometimes the trains on the Harbour Bridge get a bit loud on the top balcony.
Curious fact: This isn’t so much of a fact, but a story; I don’t know if it is true or not. There were a couple of locals with beards who used to drink at the Harbour View. They often dressed in dark t-shirts and jeans, and wore hats. They were employed by the Harbour View to help in the refurbishment. During this time they drunk at the Glenmore. When the place opened again, they were allowed to drink there for two weeks before being turfed out because they didn’t meet the dress code. Kicked out of the local they helped build!
The Palisades Hotel
This was the starting point of our St Patrick’s Day crawl in 2002, and on that same day I saw a former history teacher of mine working as a glassy – I won’t mention his name in case he’s running from the cops or something (I now see him at the Keg Room opposite UTS as a student – time may be in reverse??).
Curious fact: This is the tallest pub in The Rocks (excluding the ANA hotel).
Sitting outside the Palisades on a pub crawlIt is good for St Patrick’s Day because it is right next to a park where you can lay down and relax.
The Lowenbrau Keller
This German pub and restaurant is very filling. Some people try to steal the steins of beer – I do not recommend this; I haven’t got one for myself yet...
Curious fact: I once drunk 2 litres of Germanic beer over two hours and managed to get back to work afterwards (I also had 2 truckloads of food).
Terry, Wendy and I are celebrating Hans' farewellYou should prepare yourself for the fact that the waitresses don’t wear bras (i.e. don’t’ fall off your chair when they serve your food), yet I wouldn’t take advantage of them because they carry those 1-litre steins around all day, sometimes 8 at a time.
Harts Pub
This is part of what used to be called the ANA Hotel - now known as the Shangri-La Chinese Stereotype. A cosy size, it does a good job of making people feel that they are in a genuine Rocks pub when really they are in a building owned by Japanese; it has a Japanese restaurant just around the corner, too. It lacks character and last time I went in there it was a bit sterile, but sometimes that’s a good thing on a pub crawl.
Curious fact: I once got a free beer here, but I forget what brand it was. Curious, because I normally remember such things.
Bar 55
This bar no longer exists! It is now an art gallery. I wonder if they still have karaoke...?
Curious fact: The former Food and Beverage Manager of the hotel, Andy, was a regular at the Obbie and has now moved to Canberra, via Tasmania. Nothing curious about it, I suppose, but I think it’s really something.
bel mondo
This is located at the top of the Argyle Stores. More of a restaurant, yet it does have a bar so I have to count it. Very plush, apparently, yet the use of lower case letters in the name is so 1990s...
Kieran in bel mondoCurious fact: The staff here used to ask us not to use the lift that was located inside their door (but not really far in), even though it was apparently designed for public use, especially the disabled.
Jackson’s on George
While I don't consider this to be technically part of The Rocks, it is the closest “outside” pub and it is often included in pub crawls. The only “Rocks-esque” part of it is the ground floor bar which lets you drink over 100 beers of the world to get a plaque with your name and time placed on the wall. I was planning on taking a week off from work and just drink the beers and get the plaque, but I'm boycotting the place because of their arrogant and rude staff, and the fact their security guards don't follow proper state regulations.
Kieran and some drunk bloke at Jackson's
Yes, the "VB can mask" really did exist!
Be sure to visit COASTERS OF DEATH!
This site © Matt Watts 2002-2006.matt_watts@bigpond.com.au This site was last updated 17 April 2006. This site does not necessarily reflect the view/s of any organisation/s and/or individual/s with which Matt Watts is associated.
