Keith (keeth') n. 1. Friend. 2. Heavy coffee drinker.

Here's a picture of Keith doing his "Keith Richards on a bad day" impression. It's actually a shot of him before his morning pot of coffee. He would probably kill me if he knew I put this picture up--but he doesn't have a computer. He lives in Pennsylvania in the sticks. If you would like to meet him, drive north through Pennsylvania until you are in the middle of nowhere, and then get out and start yelling his name.

Keith drove cross country with me in a huge Ryder truck when I moved to San Francisco. He also helped set our brakes on fire while coming out of Death Valley. His favorite part of the trip was cruising the Strip at Vegas at 3 a.m. in our Ryder with my truck in tow. His least favorite part of the trip was getting spooked by the late night clientelle in a Denny's in Tucumcari.

Steve (steev') n. 1. Friend. 2. Duke Nukem fiend.

Here's Steve looking quite sedate, which is how he looks all the time. I've posted a much more flattering picture of him, because he recently bought a computer. He also lives in Pennsylvania, close to, but not quite, in the middle of nowhere.

He recently strapped a 5' x 5' sculpture of mine on top of his Volkswagon and drove it 100 miles through a snow storm at 2 in the morning. The tar and cedar sculpture is now adorning his living room and offers him and his guests endless hours of aromatic enjoyment (especially with summer approaching).

Dave (dav') n. 1. Friend. 2. Whereabouts unknown.
Dave is a crazy Canadian. He wishes he were back in Montreal, but he likes being employed. The last I knew, he was living in Washington, DC, but he seems to have disappeared as of late. I was going to have a cool link to his homepage, but I can't find it anymore. I think he may have been abducted by aliens.

Dave Update!! I just got in touch with Dave. He claims that he is fine and that he just changed jobs. He sent me a picture of him to post, but if you ask me, it looks awfully like some alien transmission...

Vince and Kathy (vintz' & ka'thee) n. 1. Friends.
Here is a picture of Vince and Kathy. I had to draw Vince, because he took his picture off his web site. It looks just like him though...except he has two arms and doesn't really dress like Greg Brady. Vince is a photographer, and I think he would be quite pleased with my photo-realistic rendering of him.

Vince helped me get my Ryder truck out of 2 feet of mud on moving day. He also captured the "Kodak moment" and posted it on his web site.

Mike & Tina (mik' & tee'na) n. 1. Friends.

Mike and Tina have been good friends for a long time, though I only see them about twice a year. They recently escaped from Manassas, VA (of John Bobbitt fame) and live in a much more civilized part of Northern Virginia. Mike writes very good prose from what I understand (though he never lets me read it!) I've offered to illustrate his first book cover...I'm thinking that "minimalist sculpture in dark room" would be a good pick.

I have more friends than this...really! It's just that I haven't gotten around to scanning all their pictures yet. The cheap hand scanner I bought 5 years ago is such a pain in the ass to use I haven't had it running for 3 years now.

If you want more friends check out Make a friend on the Web. You're sure to find some twisted souls there! Once you've made one, go to Who, Where to find out where they live. Then go to Mapquest to see how to get there, then pack your bags and go for a vacation!

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