The Informant
By Matt Singer
For TRF 255
INT. A CHURCH-NIGHT.
A quiet church sanctuary. A single cough echoes through the large room. We see the cough's originator, a single man sitting quietly in a pew near the middle of the room, holding a prayer book in his lap and pretending to pray. A few seconds later a second man enters the room dressed in a trench coat and hat. His steps echo as he walks down the center aisle and sits one row behind and slightly to the right of the first man; who does not turn around.
INFORMANT (Sitting down) You Graff? GRAFF That's right. INFORMANT Fine. Don't turn around. GRAFF All right. Awkward silence while the Informant shuffles and settles in his seat. GRAFF So, you take dates here often? INFORMANT What? GRAFF Nothing, nothing, just a little joke. INFORMANT I don't get it. GRAFF Don't worry about it, just trying to break the ice. INFORMANT Yeah right...you are Graff right? GRAFF Yes, you want to see some identification? INFORMANT What identification? GRAFF You know identification, my driver's license, so you can see I'm really who I say I am. INFORMANT Are you suggesting I shouldn't trust you? GRAFF No of course not! Whatever you have to tell me is completely confidential, I just wanted you to trust me! INFORMANT Why wouldn't I trust you? GRAFF Look, just forget about it. INFORMANT Okay Graff...I'll play your game. You bring the stuff? GRAFF The stuff? INFORMANT That's right, the stuff. Do you have it? GRAFF I don't know what you're talking about... what stuff? INFORMANT The stuff. Why would I tell you anything if you don't give me the stuff? GRAFF I didn't know you wanted any stuff! INFORMANT Your informant should have told you that I'd want the stuff when I give you the goods. GRAFF (getting aggravated) YOU ARE MY INFORMANT! INFORMANT (worried) SHUT UP! You want to get us both killed? GRAFF Who's going to kill us? There's no one else here? The Informant looks at Graff dumbly. INFORMANT Look Graff, you aren't gonna get the goods without the stuff. GRAFF Well...what can you tell me without the stuff? INFORMANT I can tell you... Long pause. GRAFF Yes? INFORMANT The sparrow flies south with the north winds. GRAFF Excuse me? INFORMANT You heard me. GRAFF What the hell are you talking about? INFORMANT Look I'm not giving you more than that until I get some stuff. GRAFF (Fumbling through pockets) Here's 75 dollars, it's all I have on me, now what can you tell me? INFORMANT Now you're catching on Graff. All right let's see...the eagle has landed on the raider, knicks by ten. GRAFF (Starts taking notes then stops halfway through) Eagle has landed on the raider? Knicks by ten? INFORMANT What? What's wrong with that? Makes perfect sense to me! GRAFF So explain it to me! INFORMANT What do you need explained? GRAFF (Turning around to face the Informant) The whole thing! And yes I know, I turned around, just talk damnit. INFORMANT The eagle has landed on the raider? Graff looks back sternly. INFORMANT The chef is microwave safe? Same look. INFORMANT Rabbi Eduardo needs the string cheese? Same look. INFORMANT Look man, I'm just telling it straight. GRAFF Give me my money back. INFORMANT I'm sorry? GRAFF Look you don't know what the hell you are saying just give me my money and I'm getting out of here. INFORMANT Hey I came through on my side; it's too bad you're an idiot. GRAFF Just give me the money! Just give it! With that Graff starts to claw at the Informant, who quickly runs out of the church, Graff following closely behind.
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