Outlaw Force - whose favorite beverage is a mixture of Coca-Cola and peanuts - works as an actor and a musician, singing the nights away with his country western band at dive bars. The chorus of his most popular tune goes “This honky’s gonna honky tonk tonight.” Maybe Outlaw Force’s magic guitar wrote the song for him, since it seems to be able to play musical notes even when his hands aren’t even touching the strings.

While Outlaw Force is honkying the night away, his defenseless wife and child are at home, where they are assaulted by a vengeful gang. Y’see, earlier in the film, Outlaw Force was driving along in his pick-up (Like a guy named Outlaw Force would drive anything else), when he saw this gang of thugs robbing a gas station and pouring gasoline down the attendant’s pants. Even though we’ve already seen him drive away, Outlaw Force magically appears inside the gas station office, shotgun in hand, and disperses the mob. Fuming over their failed robbery, and possibly the lack of gasoline in Outlaw Force’s pants, the gang members find his house, rape and kill his wife, and kidnap his daughter.

Since the police department in Outlaw Force’s sleepy town (of Los Angeles?!?) consists of three lazy guys and Frank Stallone, he takes matters into his own hands and becomes a redneck version of The Punisher, waging a one man war against criminals (who all seem to be in league with the kidnappers) and anyone not wearing tanned leather with six inch fringe. Intentional or not, Heavener even gives his hero an homage to Bela Lugosi’s classic line from Ed Wood’s BRIDE OF THE MONSTER when he is ordered to go home by the cops and he whines, “Go home? I ain’t got no home!”

Generally speaking, one is probably better off not using Ed Wood as the guide to writing dialogue, but Heaver’s script is peppered with such Woodian speeches. The same cop who insists Outlaw Force go back to his nonexistant home also warns, “Don’t play detective. There are a lot of bad people out there who will hurt you real bad!” This same Inspector, played by Paul Smith, also has a hilarious motto when confronted with other officers who don’t like his admittedly unorthodox methods. “You can take your law book and shove it!”

Smith’s partner is played by Frank Stallone. Frank, as you probably know, is Sylvester’s brother, a meagerly talented actor and musician, with a lot of credits in his more famous brother’s filmmography. Here his credit appears under an empty shot glass, which is as good a metaphor as any for his acting abilities. In Stallone’s most exciting scene, he debates diets and the two argue over yogurt. “It’s yogurt!” Stallone cries. “You know -- CULTURED MILK!” This is a man passionate about his dairy products.