An "Emo" can be spotted fairly simply through one of their numerous badges of honour whether it be over the top eye-liner, rebelliously crude pin badges designed to "stick it to the man" or of course the ever original, ultimate sign of individuality, the star tatoo. As worn by every single one of the fuckers who can pass for 18 years old and have money to waste on looking 'cool'.
Now you can trust me when I tell you what is cool, after all I'm the coolest person you're likely to come across in your life, and there is not an inkling of cool to be found in a lame star on the wrist or back of the calf. A childish image of a five-point star is also far from the dark, depressing mood that these Emos apparantly suffer through life with, surely there are more disturbing icons than a simple star to adequately demonstrate the demons that consume these tortured souls. But since the star tatoo offers Emos collective individuality (spot the problem with that phrase) without any use of imagination it is little wonder that our friends crying in the corner of the room deify it like a priest with his crucifix.
Emos seem to be some kind of spin-off from the infamous whopper, the Goth, sort of the junior division of Satan's mortal army, I'm not familiar with how the system works but it seems like the musical equivilent of the Hitler Youth. Once the young Emo has reached a certain age, or perhaps number of tatoos/piercings, they graduate into full blown Goths. That's just one idea anyway.
One can't help but wonder what these people have to be so depressed about, is it the fact that their parents pay for the computers and internet connections on which they tell the world of their torment through daily blogs and other such nonsense? Perhaps they are torn apart at the thought of having to do their homework on time or that their bed time doesn't allow them sufficient intake of darkness from Kerrang.
There is of course Professor Cool's theory that there is actually no such thing as Emo, it's just been made up by a group of fools who don't happen to be dark enough to be goth, plain enough to be indie or cool enough to be punks and so decided that they would make their own category up with more tears and depression than you can shake a black-painted finger nail at.
Whichever of these well-planned theories is correct is irrelevent as they all point to the same conculsion, Emos are shite and should be hung.