Drinking 101

This page is soley dedicated to the education of the juniors, sophmores and freshman of Hanover Park High School.  It is very important that you pass on the great tradition and legend that is HP Drinking.  This has been mainly constructed from Greg Disarno and Rodia.  I find myself, the drinking guru, well qualified to help u guys pass it on to all of ur friends immediately at all parties despite what knowledg they may think they know....Good luck....

The Basics of Drinking -There are 3 main types of drinking....Casual slow drinking, Chugging and shots, and Funneling and/or Shotgunning.  -Casual drinking is basically used in calm social drinking or when just having a talk with the guys or a girl, While chugging and funneling are more extreme ways to get fucked up fast and fun.  You must choose wisely as to which of the 3 ways you are going to go, because a poor choice can cause lack of fun or being annoying and looking like an asshole(all of this has been experienced by me and my friends so believe it).  -The main key to getting used to the taste of beer and quickness of drinking was told to me by Vinny Tavaglione...a drinker of immense talent.  As he said "Don't pay attention to the taste, just pretend its WATER, as if your drinking out of a water bottle.  In this state of mind..it will go down easy like water, not beer. -Chugging is more of a matter of heart and hard work than skill.  Chugging is basically not stopping.  Not letting the taste or amount get to you, and just competing with someone.  This is your pride as a drinker. -Funneling is a favorite of mine, and if your learning from me...it must be done right, for many of my fondest memories are with glaser who can funnel an entire beer in less than 2 seconds.  This, like many of drinkings tasks, must be practiced.  The important factor is opening up your lungs and letting the beer flow down.                          Mastering the drunken feeling -Believe me, I have had many terrible experiences where I have been annoying and an asshole to girls and my friends because I have drank too much.  Its the worst feeling in the world and it will happen to any of you if you aren't aware of it.  I have puked on peoples stuff, got mud all over new carpets, punched my friends and more.... -When people first start their alcoholic careers Freshman or Sophmore year they are wild and sometimes annoying drunks...they just don't realize it because they all act the same way.  As you get older, and as it appears to many of us more experienced drinkers you are just annoying, and you must grow from that stage.  It is important to be calm while you drink....runnign around and yelling like an idiot isnt funny for long.  Calm drunks are loved by all, and to achieve this practicing by not drinking as much and settling down may help. -THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT:  The place and number of people has to change your attitude toward the night.  If it is a sweet sixteen packed with people, being a wild crazy drunk dancing machine is not only tolerable but hilarious and enjoyable...HOWEVER that same drunken attitude at a 5-10 person socializing drink is going to make u lose all of ur friends. *Drink less at small gatherings, and more at sweet sixteens and huge parties. There is more to come in time...but let me end with this for now.  I can teach you 10x as much in person at parties, and if you are learning from me you must be a respectful talented drinker.  The most important part is practice....you must drink at all times possible and more important have fun doing it.  You will learn from experience............