final

Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: NC17 – what else?

One week until Voyager returned home…

One week of familiar routines and the closeness of their family unit…

One week before all hell broke loose and they were herded up for debriefings…

One week before he intended to leave her.

* * * *

The door chime sounded.

Janeway looked up from the report she was finishing and smiled. Only one person would be calling on her this late. “Come in Chakotay,” she called, preparing herself for one of his usual lectures.

The smile faded as Voyager’s First Officer stood rigidly before her, eyes focused on a point above her head. “Chakotay?”

“Captain, there’s something I have to tell you.” He took a deep breath. “Once the debriefings are over, I’m planning on leaving Starfleet ... to make a fresh start … with Seven. I’m not sure where my relationship with her will lead, but I think I owe it to both of us to find out,” he rushed.

Kathryn’s jaw dropped and she blinked fiercely. Seconds passed before she finally managed a terse reply. “I see.”

Hearing those words directly from his lips hurt like a punch in the guts. Tearfully, she redirected her gaze towards the viewport and stared out at the streaking stars of the Alpha Quadrant.

“Kathryn …”

She turned back at the sound of him whispering her name, unable to mask the vulnerability she felt. Helplessly, she shrugged her shoulders and bit on her bottom lip.

Something inside Chakotay seemed to snap, and his eyes darkened. Swiftly, approached, ”I have to do this, ” he growled, gripping her shoulders tightly and hauling her to her feet.

Kathryn barely had time to gasp before his mouth covered hers. Hard and demanding, he bruised her lips, pushing passed them with his insistent tongue and roughly plundering her mouth. Chakotay's hold on her tightened as he continued his tongue fucking. The kiss was desperate, almost like he wanted to experience and taste as much as he could before she stopped him.

Kathryn couldn’t stop him. Instead, she clung to him, scoring his neck with her sharp nails and angrily kissing him back.

Briefly, they pulled apart, just long enough to tilt their heads and change the angle. Warm breaths mingled as they gasped for air. Hungrily, their tongues entwined once more, fighting and duelling, whilst their bodies bumped and ground.

No more fantasises.

Chakotay’s arousal pulsed against her stomach, hard and needy. He groaned as she found his zipper and freed his erection, her fingers expertly wrapping around his shaft, stroking him from base to tip. He throbbed in her palm and groaned again. Frantically, she pumped the silky rod. It swelled further and she smeared the pre-cum with her thumb, using her other hand to continue the rhythm she had set, growing desperate for him to fill her.

Chakotay heard her breathy sob. “I’ll fill you, Kathryn, to the hilt,” he grunted, tugging at the clasp of her pants and pushing them over her slim hips, along with the lacy black panties.

‘Too fast,’ her mind screamed. Every fantasy about making love with Chakotay had been slow and loving, not fast and hard, seduction and romance, not raw lust and frenzied groping. Though at this point, Kathryn was more than willing to take whatever she could.

He kissed her again and slammed her butt down on the desk, making her grunt into his mouth, from both his roughness and the hard, cold surface.

“Now, Kathryn!” he rasped.

Holding Chakotay’s throbbing cock, Kathryn spread her thighs wider and parted her folds, guiding his heat into her body. He drove home with one long slamming thrust and she yelped from the sudden penetration, fingers digging into his shoulders.

Oblivious to her discomfort, Chakotay set a violent pace, banging her smaller body with his and ramming her cervix with the tip of his cock. Kathryn tried to relax, taking deep breaths and leaning backwards slightly to ease the angle of penetration. He used the movement to sear her exposed pale neck with his teeth, sucking and biting her, leaving an ugly red mark above her rank pips.

Chakotay’s rhythm suddenly faltered and he jerked, gripping her hips tightly. Unable to match his thrusts, Kathryn clung helplessly as he growled and flooded her body with his semen.

Spent, he sagged forwards and Kathryn moaned in frustration, her body screaming for completion. Slipping out of her, Chakotay reached down, smearing his seed around her folds and teasing her through the cum-soaked curls. She moaned again and pushed against his hand.

Chakotay observed her body swallowing his pistoning fingers. She was greedy and aroused, easily taking three fat digits and coating them with their combined juices. He pumped her, flicking her engorged clitoris with his thumb and working her nearer to release.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Kathryn was horrified to be in such an undignified position; lying half-naked over her desk, legs spread wide, getting fingered by her dirty-talking First Officer whose flaccid cock hung from his flies.

But, God, it was erotic.

Kathryn bit down on her lip and writhed on the hard surface, feeling her buttocks squelching in the pool of fluid. Her feet found his shoulders and she pushed against them, using his support to arch her body and take him deeper.

“Oh God!” she cried.

Kathryn bucked and tensed, gritting her teeth. Her climax tore through her, making her vision blacken and her toes curl, as her muscles clenched around his fingers, desperately trying to milk them. Hot and wet, she flooded his palm with a keening wail.

Panting, she slumped backwards, no longer caring about her appearance and relishing in the joy of having an orgasm by someone else's hand. Too many years she'd spent rubbing herself raw and trying to gain some semblance of relief.

Despite her sated haze, Kathryn knew she had to get up and clean herself; the cooling mix of sticky fluids were beginning to feel uncomfortable on her buttocks and thighs. Maybe after that they could talk.

“What the hell?! Chakotay no! I can’t!” she yelped, struggling to sit up.

Chakotay ignored her protests and pulled her to the edge of the desk, pushing her thighs wider apart and burying his face in her creamy pussy. His mouth kissed and suckled, and Kathryn writhed underneath him.

His tongue was exquisite, licking along her dripping sex and swirling in the abundant moisture, teasing her before driving deep inside and fucking her with it.

Kathryn tried to squirm away as he probed her inner walls, but he held her firm, tormenting her sensitive flesh and working her up towards another climax. His nose teased her clitoris and she whimpered. Once more, he filled her with his fingers, pumping her quickly and making the spot inside her grow and swell.

Unable to control herself, Kathryn moaned continuously, licking her lips as her head tossed from side to side. Arching her back, she pushed her breasts into her small hands, roughly kneading them through her uniform jacket.

His wet mouth latched firmly onto her aching clit. Two flicks of his tongue were all it took for her orgasm. Her inner walls were still contracting when he pushed his erect shaft ruthlessly inside.

She gasped at the sensation of him taking her sore pussy again and he covered her open mouth with his, forcing her to taste herself from his tongue. His hand grabbed the desk, using it for leverage to plunge harder and deeper, while the other roughly encased a breast, squeezing it and rubbing the nipple through the layers of clothing.

Her uniform was impairing the tenuous hold he had on her stiff peak and he groaned, taking out his frustration on her throat, giving her another angry red bite. He was heavy, and the awkward position was hurting her back, but Chakotay was too far-gone to care. He was inside her, pounding her, fucking her and that was all that mattered. He rasped how good she felt, so tight, so wet, how her pussy massaged his thrusting cock with every stroke.

She grasped his rear and drove him on, grunting in pained pleasure as his balls slapped against her and his wiry curls pressed against her damp flesh.

Chakotay growled into her neck, telling her in lurid detail how they could be caught at any time, Captain and First Officer rutting like pigs in her Ready Room … Chakotay and Kathryn fucking like animals …

Kathryn panted and writhed, head hanging off the desk, throat exposed to his constant biting. Oh God this felt so wrong and sordid. He swelled inside her and his thrusts forced her a little more off the edge. The room spun as her climax approached and the blood rushed to her head and her full sex.

Chakotay ejaculated with a violent jerk. Moments later, he softened and withdrew, his semen trickling from Kathryn’s reddened core. Silently, he climbed off, stretching out the leg that had been kneeling on the desk.

With a wince, Kathryn gingerly stood and picked up her panties and black pants. She cast Chakotay a sidewards glance. He was slumped in her chair, wiping the sticky tip of his cock with the inside of his jacket before tucking it away.

“Hell of a way to say goodbye,” she panted.

He made no retort, just stared at the white gooey mess on the grey Starfleet surface.

Inside the sanctuary of her bathroom, Kathryn stared at her reflection in the mirror. “Consider yourself well and truly fucked, Kathryn,” she told herself, examining the bite marks on her neck and thighs. Carefully, she wiped herself with damp tissue and hissed from the sting.

All thoughts of talking with Chakotay disappeared as she heard the whine of the transporter. He had left and she was alone. Tears blurred her vision and over-spilled, rolling down her cheeks as she bent to dress.

* * * *

Five months later, Kathryn stood back, brush in hand and admired her paintwork. After three months of de-briefings, not made easier by her strained relations with Chakotay, and some time spent back home in Indiana, an exhausted Kathryn had finally taken on a small house just outside San Francisco.

“Well, I hope you like yellow,” she smiled, lightly stroking the barely noticeable bump under her sweater.

The soft lemon room glowed in the late afternoon sun, warming Kathryn, until her eyes drifted towards the self-assembly cot in the corner, still boxed. A wave of sadness threatened her mood. No lovingly hand-carved crib awaited her child. No father either.

The door chime interrupted her thoughts.

“Are you expecting someone, little one?” she asked, continuing to caress her unborn baby with her palm. “Not answering mommy today then? No kick in the ribs?”

Kathryn gave a tender smile. Despite the shock, and the circumstances, finding out she was pregnant had been the most amazing moment of her life, leading to so many others. The first kick, the first movement, the first tiny image on the scan. She looked forward to the birth, to meeting the baby that had changed her life … something she continuously told the tiny life inside her.

The door chime sounded again.

“Whoever it is, they sure are impatient, sweetie. Shall we go find out?”

Balancing the brush on a paint lid, and wiping her hands on a rag, Kathryn walked towards her front door. She opened it.

“Chakotay!” the smile froze on her face.

“Hello Kathryn.”

Suddenly she felt self-conscious, horribly aware of the sloppy cream sweater and matching pants. She fumbled with her ponytail and wished she’d worn a little make-up, not much, just enough to hide the hated freckles that dotted her nose and cheeks.

“I … wasn’t expecting to see you,” she stammered.

Chakotay smiled, that devastating smile that could still turn her legs to jelly.

His hair was a little longer, and a little greyer around the temples, but he looked good, too good. The beige shirt and dark pants he wore complimented his rich colouring. Kathryn tingled, remembering the feel of him in her arms, inside her ... She shook the image away, but her hand slipped once more to her tummy, caressing the life they’d created.

“Can I come in?” he asked uncertainly.

“Of course … I’m sorry.”

Chakotay stepped into the hallway.

“Please excuse the storage boxes, I’m still settling in,” she told him, leading the way into the lounge. Gratefully, she thanked whatever God was watching that the traditional wooden nursery door had swung shut behind her. “Can I get you something to drink? Iced tea perhaps? I’ve just made a fresh jug."

“Kathryn Janeway drinking tea? What’s the matter, did you grow so used to Neelix’s coffee that you no longer like the real stuff?” he teased, obviously trying to re-establish their usual rapport.

Kathryn almost blanched and for a moment wondered whether the morning sickness that had plagued her early months was returning. “No,” she tried to laugh and failed miserably. “I’ve been drinking quite a bit of tea … its more refreshing in the heat.” Even to her ears that sounded lame.

“Yes it is …”

Dumbly they stared at each other.

“Take a seat, I’ll go fetch the drinks,” she told him.

Standing in the kitchen, Kathryn trembled. She could face any enemy, any alien hell bent on destroying her ship, but the thought of sitting with Chakotay scared the hell out of her. What was he doing here?

Chakotay jumped up from the sofa as she reappeared and took the tray from her, placing it on the table in front of them.

“Thank you,” she whispered, trying to ignore his nearness and the waft of spicy cologne that invaded her nostrils and made her knees weak. Her hands shook as she attempted to pour the tea.

“Here, let me,” gently he prised the jug from her and filled the two glasses.

Kathryn accepted hers with a tight smile. She sipped at it, willing her churning stomach to settle.

“How have you been?” he asked.

“Fine. You?”

“Yes, good.”

“Good.”

Chakotay tugged on his earlobe. “Kathryn …”

“Why are you here?” her eyes stared at him coldly.

“I’ve missed you,” he replied, holding her gaze.

“I see … so you think you can just walk straight back into my life and hope that we can be friends again?” anger crept into her voice.

“I’ve been such a fool, Kathryn …”

She interrupted him with a snort. “Really!”

“Please, let me finish … these past few months have been awful, I can’t eat, can’t sleep … all I think about is you …” He took a moment before continuing. “When I left you, afterwards, it was the biggest mistake of my life. I thought … spirits! I don’t know what I thought. I never meant to do what I did … at least not in that way.”

“Fuck me over my desk, you mean?” she challenged.

“I guess I had that one coming,” he gave a watery smile. “For seven years I waited for you, waited for the time that you would come to me …”

Her eyes flashed. “So, this is MY fault?!”

“No … no … Kathryn, please …” he reached for her hand and his disappointment showed when she pulled away from him. “Spirits, I’m explaining this very badly …”

Again, she snorted.

“Kathryn, I never planned on walking into your ready room and … and, well … practically attacking you,” he said quietly, lowering his head.

There was a long pause.

“You didn’t,” she told him. “You would’ve stopped, had I asked you to.”

“Yes, but it would’ve killed me.”

They fell silent.

Eventually, Chakotay looked up. “Do you realise how many times I stood outside your quarters, trying to pluck up the courage to tell you that I loved you … that I would rather die than let you go?” his dark expressive eyes filled with tears. “It’s driving me crazy … you’re driving me crazy … I want to be with you, share my life with you.”

Reality struck. “And Seven too?”

“I’m sorry … that never had a chance of working … especially when I still …” He took a breath. “I realise you probably hate me for what I’ve done, but …”

“I don’t hate you, Chakotay,” she said softly, “but I am angry with you.”

“Then let me make it up to you. Please. Let's start afresh. We deserve another chance, Kathryn.” He grasped her hand tightly, “I love you. Once upon a time I believed you even loved me … do you think you could learn to again?”

His face was open, full of hope and fear.

“I never stopped loving you, Chakotay; I just never told you …” her voice cracked and he scooped her into his arms, holding her upper body to his.

“I’m sorry … so sorry,” he repeated, over and over, rocking her. “I’ll never hurt you again, I promise.”

Kathryn pulled away and sniffed. “I need time …”

“As long as you need … I’ll wait forever.”

Kathryn studied the large tanned hand covering hers. “Can we take things slowly? I know that’s ridiculous … after everything that’s happened, but I have to be sure.”

Chakotay’s face broke into a smile of relief. “Whatever you want, Kathryn.”

His thumb stroked hers and the action made her look up. He was drawn to her, drawn to the lips that were trying to form a shaky smile, leaning nearer he gently brushed them with his.

She allowed his kiss, allowed him to cup her cheek tenderly, but pulled away before he could deepen it. “Sorry, I …”

“Its okay, I understand. I should go.”

Chakotay reluctantly released her and stood up. “Would you have dinner with me tomorrow? You don’t have to answer me right away, I’m staying with Tom and B’Elanna … you can reach me there,” he explained.

Kathryn rose and planted a hand on his chest, the way she had so many times before. “Yes, I’ll have dinner with you.”

He smiled warmly and held her hand to him, giving it a light squeeze. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, 1900hrs okay?”

She nodded, and anxiously hoped he wouldn’t try to embrace her. Standing like this, Kathryn knew for sure that he would detect the telltale bump. Instead, he bent and gave her a chaste kiss. “Goodbye Kathryn.”

She accompanied him to the door and watched as he climbed into his hovercar. Alone, Kathryn patted her stomach. “Okay sweetheart, that was daddy … guess what? He wants mommy!” a heady rush of excitement filled her … and then reality took over and she groaned. “I don’t think daddy will like mommy when he finds out what secret she’s been keeping,” she quietly added.

The next evening, Kathryn stood in front of her full-length mirror with a look of desperation on her face. Behind her, the bed was strewn with countless blouses, skirts and pants, each one cast aside with a frustrated grunt. Her eyes narrowed as she studied the latest combination, a light blue tunic and long navy skirt. It wasn’t perfect, but at lease it fitted and concealed the growing expanse of her tummy. She felt huge.

“I really must agree to go shopping with Phoebe,” she muttered, rummaging through the chest of drawers.

“Ah ha!” a triumphant cry echoed around the empty house, as Kathryn found what she had been looking for and draped it around her neck. She frowned again. Scarves really weren’t her thing, but at least the long flowing silk stole the attention from her waistline.

The door chimed and Kathryn hurriedly checked her make-up before leaving the room.

Once more Chakotay stood on her doorstep looking deliciously handsome. The earthy tones he had worn the previous day were gone, replaced by tight black pants and a deep rich burgundy shirt. In his hand he held a bouquet of red roses.

“Hello Kathryn,” his voice was velvety soft. “I … I brought you these,” he shrugged.

“Thank you,” she smiled, accepting them and softly inhaling their scent. “They’re beautiful, I’ll go put them in water. Do we have time for a drink first?” she asked, leading him inside and heading for the kitchen.

Chakotay followed. “Yes,” he stopped, gazing at the neat rows of chocolate brownies laid out on a cooling tray. “Did you bake these?” he asked, picking one up.

Kathryn pulled a dismissive face. “Really Chakotay, you know I can’t cook. My mother was here earlier, she made them.”

“Mmm, they’re good,” he mumbled, crumbs coating the corners of his mouth.

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll spoil your dinner?”

Chakotay shook his head and his tongue flicked out to lick his lips. Kathryn tried her best not to stare, concentrating instead on filling a vase with water.

“If you want some, there’s a bottle of Chardonnay open in the cooler … help yourself,” she offered.

He peered into a cupboard trying to find a glass. “Will you be joining me?”

“They’re in that one,” she pointed. “No, I’ll wait and have some with dinner.”

Chakotay poured himself a little of the white wine then replaced the bottle. She felt his eyes on her.

“You look lovely,” he whispered.

A blush covered her cheeks and her head dipped lower. “So do you.”

Putting his drink down he moved towards her, intending to take her in his arms.

“I’ll get my purse,” she muttered, ducking away from him and leaving the room. Behind her, she heard him give a disappointed sigh.

Throughout dinner, the conversation remained light and casual, with both of them skirting around issues they found uncomfortable. Afterwards, Chakotay persuaded her to take a walk into the park with him, hoping that the dim moonlight would make it easier for them to be honest with each other.

Kathryn stopped walking and gazed out at the tranquil lake, watching the reflections of the moon ripple across the surface.

“Kathryn … talk to me.”

The pleading tone in his voice moved her and her lip trembled slightly. “Why, Chakotay? Why did you choose her? Did I disappoint you?” she asked.

“No … no … you could never do that …”

‘Don’t be so sure,’ she thought.

“Then why? Didn’t I excite you enough?” she pressed.

He met her inquisitive stare, noticing the pain that she barely concealed. “Spirits, Kathryn, you excite me more than enough! Sometimes just your smile excites me, the smell of your perfume, the way you used to lean over Tom’s console … So many times I’ve had to leave your presence before embarrassing myself!”

Kathryn gave a shy grin. “I could lie and say I never noticed …”

Chakotay groaned humorously. “Thank you for your discretion.”

The laughter faded.

“I’d given up, Kathryn,” he whispered. “Settled, convinced myself that a relationship with Seven would fill the void you’d never allow yourself to fill. My impeccable timing, right?! I decide to try and forge a new life two weeks before we arrive home!”

Kathryn squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue.

“Seven and I hardly spoke during debriefings …”

“But I thought …”

“What Kathryn? That we were together? How could I ever be happy with her after holding you? You complete me Kathryn, you’re the other half of my soul … without you my life is empty. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop loving you … I don’t know how to.”

Kathryn was losing herself in the dark orbs that almost pierced her. “Oh Chakotay,” she sighed, touching his face and sweeping the indigo lines of his tattoo with her fingers.

He lent into her touch, kissing her palm as it moved down his face and bringing his arms up to hold her.

“Perhaps we should go,” she said. Being held in his embrace was a luxury she couldn’t afford at the moment.

Outside her door, he cupped her chin gently, seeming to know how uneasy she was and taking care not to do anything that would scare her off. His eyes sought permission before his lips covered hers for a brief, tender kiss.

“I love you,” he whispered, tracing the curves of her mouth with his thumb, “and I meant what I said, I won’t rush you, whenever you’re ready.”

Kathryn felt the moisture gathering in her eyes and blinked fiercely.

Once again he moved to hold her and once more she avoided him. “Don’t … please,” she begged, ignoring the look of hurt and confusion that crossed his face. “Goodnight Chakotay …” Quickly, she turned and keyed in her code.

“Kathryn, when can I call you?” the panic in his voice was clear.

She paused, with her back to him and one foot inside her sanctuary.

“Kathryn, please …”

Her head dipped and her voice was so low he barely heard it. “Tomorrow.”

Before he could reply the door softly closed.

The first thing she did upon entering the house was to remove her clothing and massage the angry red lines the skirt had left around her waist. “I hope I didn’t squash you darling,” she murmured. “You’ve been awfully quiet all evening,” she added, slipping on her robe.

Tying it securely around her, Kathryn padded into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk, her new favourite nightcap. Restlessly, she wandered about, before finally sitting down at her desk and activating the monitor. As the connection established, Kathryn took a long gulp of her drink.

“Darling what’s wrong?” her mother’s concerned face filled the screen.

“Nothing.”

“Are you feeling okay? Is the baby alright?”

“We’re both fine,” Kathryn informed her, circling her swollen stomach.

Her mother gave her an understanding smile. “How did it go tonight, with Chakotay?”

Kathryn shrugged and waved the glass of milk, accidentally drizzling some of it down the side of the beaker. “It went okay …”

“Just okay?”

“It went … oh mom, we had a nice time, lovely restaurant, romantic walk afterwards …”

“But?”

Kathryn pulled a face. “We talked about Seven.”

Gretchen sighed and settled back in the chair. “And?”

“And what? Its over.”

“How do you feel about that?”

Kathryn’s eyes drifted to the large window and the floodlit lawn. “It still hurts. He tried to reassure me by telling me how much I mean to him … how much he loves me …”

Gretchen carefully observed her daughter. “Do you believe him?”

“Yes.”

The older woman frowned. “Then darling, I can’t see what the problem is, he loves you and you love him … you do, right?”

“More than anything.”

“Then why are you …” the penny dropped, “Dear God, you haven’t told him, have you?”

Gretchen’s heart went out to her eldest child as Kathryn shook her head.

“How can I just drop it into conversation? He’s such an honourable man, mom, I don’t want him staying with me because of the baby …”

“The man’s just spent all night trying to tell you how he feels, Kathryn! Exactly how long do you think you can keep this a secret?!”

“I’m scared … scared to tell him in case I lose him,” she choked, tears trickling over her cheeks.

“I know you are honey, but you have to. Give him a chance, Kathryn.”

“And if he goes?”

Gretchen gave her a sad smile, “I’ll always be here for you.”

Kathryn woke early the following day and began stencilling bunnies and teddy bears on the walls of the nursery, restlessly waiting for Chakotay to call her. By mid-morning he had called and she had invited him to join her for dinner, with one condition - he cooked.

Two hours before he was due to arrive, Kathryn sat on the sofa and eased her aching back and legs. The next thing she knew, Chakotay was kneeling beside her, brushing her hair away from her face and whispering gently.

“What? … How long have I been? … How did you get in here?” she asked, sitting up quickly and feeling disorientated.

“I was worried when you failed to answer, so I keyed in your code … I noticed last night it was the same as my old one on Voyager,” he said, smiling at her sleepy fuddled state. “Are you okay?”

Kathryn rubbed her eyes and attempted to smooth her hair. “Yes … yes, fine … I was a little tired earlier, guess I forgot to instruct the computer to wake me.”

“Don’t worry.” His gaze was tender. “Has anyone ever told you how adorable you look when you’re asleep?”

Shooting him a disbelieving look, Kathryn replied, “No.”

Chakotay stared at her. “You really don’t have any idea how beautiful you are, do you?” he asked softly, leaning nearer.

Kathryn’s eyes widened as he closed the short distance between them and pressed his lips to hers. His fingers slid through her hair and massaged her scalp in a motion meant to soothe her and also hold her to him. Increasing the pressure, his lips nuzzled and parted, allowing his tongue to flick against her yielding mouth. With a sigh, Kathryn met his tongue with hers, tangling lazily in a hot wet kiss.

She groaned, as he drew her tongue into his mouth to tease her with his teeth. Oh God, he was intoxicating, he could make her forget everything except how good it felt to be with him.

Kathryn’s hands reached for him, pulling him nearer, dragging him onto the couch, onto her. Chakotay struggled, half balancing on the edge, trying not to squash the desperate woman in his arms. He kissed her, harder, plunging his tongue repeatedly into the warmth of her mouth, while his free hand swept along her neck towards her heaving breasts.

She wriggled against him, aching for him to caress her. Impatiently, her palm guided his to a full breast. “Oh God, I want you, Chakotay,” she moaned.

His lips blazed a trail along her throat and with a small adjustment, the arm he rested on moved, allowing that hand to fondle a soft fleshy mound. Both palms were deliciously full and his thumbs circled the hardening peaks, rubbing and flicking them over her silky blouse and lacy bra.

“So perfect,” he whispered appreciatively.

Kathryn’s body was on fire. “Touch me … please …”

Skilfully, Chakotay managed to open two buttons of her blouse and eased a pale breast out from its lacy confines, letting it spill over the feminine cup. He circled the dusky areole, flicking the underside of her nipple with his nail till it stiffened painfully then quickly latched his mouth onto it. As he suckled greedily, he slowly stroked down her body.

“Chakotay …” she groaned, tangling her fingers in his short dark hair and arching upwards to fill his demanding mouth.

Chakotay lightly bit the hard, pebbled tip, grazing it with his teeth, desperate to consume her. His hand moved over her stomach and dipped lower, cupping her through the damp fabric of her pants, and pressed a finger against the prominent swelling.

She was shaking, rotating her hips against his large hand, aware of her rapidly approaching climax …

Suddenly, Kathryn snapped out of her arousal and stared fearfully at the man beside her, whilst their baby energetically kicked between them.

Chakotay’s face illustrated his confusion. Something was hitting his ribs – and hard. Before he could ask anything, Kathryn pushed at his legs and shakily ran from the room.

Inside the bathroom, Kathryn sat on the toilet lid with her head in her hands and cried. She sensed Chakotay’s presence in the doorway and tearfully looked up.

“I’m sorry Chakotay … I never meant not to …”

His face was unreadable. “How long have you known?”

“The last week of de-briefings … I fainted before the panel of Admirals …”

“It’s mine?” his gaze was unblinking.

Kathryn’s jaw dropped in shock and it took a moment for her to react. “You bastard!” she hissed, jumping up and striking his face.

Chakotay reeled. “Kathryn … I’m …”

Kathryn stepped into his space, her chin jutting upwards, eyes glaring. “You lousy bastard! Do you think for one moment I screwed my way across the Delta Quadrant? Do you have any idea the humiliation I suffered with those Admirals? I was examined by one of their doctors who duly reported that I was pregnant with YOUR child … I had to stand and defend myself when they threatened me with a formal reprimand … for fraternizing with one of my crew!”

“Kathryn …”

“Do you know what the worst of it was? I was alone! Oh you should’ve seen the pitying looks I got from the panel! Want to know why they let me off?” she challenged, eyes blazing.

Chakotay remained silent.

“They felt sorry for me … because I’d obviously been … been dumped for a stunning blonde half my age …” her voice caught and fresh tears rolled down her face.

“You should’ve told me …”

“I didn’t need your pity too!” she screeched.

“Come here …” he tried to pull her into his arms.

“Go to hell!” she spat, pushing past him and heading back into the lounge.

Chakotay followed meekly and watched her angrily pace.

“You hurt me! You swore you would stay by my side! All I wanted was for you to take me into your arms and tell me everything was going to be all right, that you loved me … that you … wanted this baby …” her crying increased. “But oh no, you had to go off chasing another blonde! What the hell is it with you and blondes?!” she threw him an accusing look.

“I don’t have a thing for blondes,” he mumbled.

“You don’t have a thing for red-heads either!” Kathryn spat. “Unless it’s just to fuck them half to death then leave without saying a word!”

“We’ve been through this …”

“Tell me, was that all you ever wanted? To fuck the Captain?”

Chakotay’s eyes darkened. “Is that what you really think, Kathryn?”

Her shoulders slumped and she suddenly felt tired. “I don’t know …”

“Kathryn, listen to me, please,” he pleaded, approaching her and gently holding her shoulders. “I’m sorry I let you down and if I could change the past I would, but I love you … always have … and I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy, if you’ll let me,” he vowed.

Kathryn’s blue eyes revealed her vulnerability. “And the baby?” she croaked.

It was Chakotay’s turn to struggle with emotion. “I will love this baby with all that I have in me, Kathryn, because I have spent years waiting for you both.”

Kathryn threw herself into his arms with a strangled sob. “Oh God, I love you!”

They stood for a moment, content just to hold each other. Eventually Chakotay broke the silence.

“Does our child always kick like this?”

His expression was one of wonder, as their baby kicked out. Kathryn smiled, taking his palm and pressing it over her stomach.

“There, can you feel her?”

He smiled back, tears filling his eyes. “A daughter, Kathryn? We’re having a daughter?”

“Yes, I only found out last week. I haven’t told a soul.”

“Thank you.”

Her brow furrowed. “For what?”

“For giving me another chance … and for keeping our baby …” he whispered.

“She was a part of you that I selfishly wanted to hang on to. There was never any thought of aborting her. I loved her right from the beginning.”

Chakotay’s eyes glistened and he held her tightly. “I’m sorry … so sorry.”

“I know.”

Suddenly he released her from his crushing hug. “Spirits, I’m not hurting you am I? I mean, the baby, she’s okay?”

Kathryn laughed. “Yes, she’s fine, don’t worry. You won’t squash her from just cuddling me …” her lips turned upwards in a coy smile, “or from making love to me.”

He regarded her then dipped his head, “Well, if you’re sure …”

“Quite sure …”

“I don’t want to rush you …”

He was teasing her, his mouth hovering over hers, sharing the same air.

“You’re not,” she moaned, snatching at his nape and bringing his lips down firmly onto hers.

It was Chakotay’s turn to groan as Kathryn’s tongue pushed forward to explore the warmth of his mouth and her pelvis rubbed against his, exciting him further. Her fingers began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Slow down, please,” he croaked.

“God I’ve been so horny … thinking about you, us, on my desk … your cock inside me,” her lips kissed over his neck and chest, caressing his skin as she tore away his shirt. “I want to feel you again … between my legs … fucking me hard …”

“Spirits!” he rasped, inhaling sharply as she bit down on his nipple then soothed it with her tongue.

Her head lifted and she looked at him through eyes dark and heavy with desire. “Do you want me, Chakotay?” she breathed, fondling the bulge in his pants.

“Yes …”

Her mouth crushed his once more and she moaned as his hands squeezed at her breasts, kneading them harshly. “Oh yes … God that feels good …”

Her blouse joined his shirt on the floor and Chakotay began kissing and suckling along her throat and chest, at the same time fumbling with the catch on her bra.

Kathryn reached for his face. “Chakotay …”

“Don’t stop me now, Kathryn,” he begged.

Her lips were swollen and red from their kissing, “Never,” she smiled, taking his hand and leading him into her bedroom. “But this time I want to be comfortable.”

Kathryn’s hands hurriedly removed his pants and boxers. “Oh God you’re huge! Beautifully huge … I want to feel this inside me,” she mumbled, dropping to her knees and sucking him noisily.

Chakotay gasped and his fingers tangled in her hair. “Kathryn, don’t … please. Spirits I can’t …”

He eased her up, but not before she had ran her tongue all over the fat tip of his cock.

“I wanted to do that last time,” she whispered, nibbling his neck and impatiently pushing off her pants.
Chakotay touched the damp silk of her panties and she moaned.

“Now … for God’s sake now!”

Chakotay suddenly found himself sprawled across the queen-sized bed with Kathryn straddling him, completely naked.

“Kathryn …”

“No, no more waiting, Chakotay,” she rasped, taking his member in her palm and slowly lowering herself onto it. “Oh, that feels good … so good,” she panted.

Kathryn began moving and Chakotay could only grasp her hips and groan as she vigorously rode him.

“Mmm, yes … ah … oh God … so good … Chakotay...”

Kathryn thrust harder, impaling herself completely on the large shaft that penetrated her soft, moist sex. She groaned and lent slightly backwards, bringing her palms up to cup her full breasts as they bounced enticingly.

“Spirits Kathryn …”

“Ooh I’m so close … Oh God! Chakotay help me! Ooh … mmm … ohh!”

Her moans grew louder until she arched upwards and cried out. Chakotay joined her, gripping her hips and driving himself harder, as his seed pumped in violent bursts, flooding her cervix.

She collapsed onto his chest, breathing wildly.

“Wow!” he panted, wrapping his arms around her small back and holding her to him.

“I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to … I got carried away … sorry.”

She was crying, quiet, heartbreaking sobs.

“Kathryn, what’s the matter?” he asked, alarmed.

Her body shuddered on his.

“Did I hurt you? Is it the baby? Kathryn, speak to me!”

“No …” she sobbed.

“Please, look at me, Kathryn,” he pleaded, raising her head.

Kathryn’s tears continued to fall as she met his worried gaze. “I wanted this time to be perfect.”

He smiled at her. “It was perfect, because it was us, you and me, making passionate love.”

Chakotay cupped her chin and kissed her softly.

“Damn hormones!” she grouched, half smiling.

“Want to tell me about it?” he asked, moving his lips along her jaw.

Kathryn gave a low moan and arched her neck in invitation to suckle the pale flesh there. “Mmm … that’s nice. I’ve been so aroused lately … wanting to jump your bones every time you show up on my doorstep!”

“I wouldn’t have complained, Kathryn,” he breathed, nibbling at her earlobe.

She laughed. “No, I’m sure you wouldn’t have, but my neighbours are a different matter!”

“I don’t mind if you don’t!”

Kathryn wriggled down on the twitching shaft she continued to hold inside her. “Think you could impress them?”

He raised his head from her neck. “I only care about impressing you,” he whispered, suddenly serious. “ I love you.”

“I love you too,” she replied, fighting back the tears that threatened once more. “Sorry, the hormones make me emotional too!” she offered, rolling her eyes.

His expression changed and he regarded her intently. “Kathryn, sit up … I want to see you properly … see your belly full with my child …”

Kathryn sat upright and allowed him to look at her swollen tummy. “Its amazing, isn’t it?” she breathed. “She’s in there, safe and protected … our daughter … we created a life, together.”

Chakotay’s hand joined hers, caressing the rise of her bump. “She’s very active,” he grinned, almost able to grasp the limb that kicked out.

“Yes, especially during the night and …” she faltered.

“And?”

Kathryn blushed. “And after I’ve climaxed …”

A devilish glint crossed his handsome face. “Maybe we should let our daughter sleep then …” he teased, easing Kathryn off him so that she lay near his side.

“Maybe.”

Chakotay’s eyes roamed freely, growing black with desire as they feasted on the sight of her enlarged breasts, tipped with dark, ripe nipples. Tenderly he thumbed one into a stiff peak and watched as Kathryn arched into his touch.

“Are they too sensitive?”

Kathryn grunted. “No, not at all … but you’re making them throb and ache!”

“Am I?” His lips closed around a taut bud and suckled.

“Oh hell … God I’ve waited so long for you to do that!” she mewed, threading her fingers into his raven hair and pressing him to her breast.

Chakotay’s response was unintelligible, but the vibrations coursed through Kathryn’s body, making her whimper. He chuckled and sucked greedily, as she watched him through heavy, glazed eyes.

“I don’t know who’s getting the most pleasure from this,” she rasped, “me or you!”

He switched breasts and grunted, trying to devour the rounded globe, whilst his fingers gently pinched the nipple he’d left.

“Gorgeous,” he said, with his mouth full.

She smiled then moaned, “Shit, I think I’m going to come soon if you keep this up!”

As Chakotay continued to play homage to her heaving chest, his left hand crept slowly down her body, gliding over the curve of her belly and tangling in the damp curls that crowned her sex. His fingers teased her, sliding easily through the fat lips of her wet pussy, until two pushed inside.

“Please, please Chakotay, I need you …”

He released the nipple he was sucking with a ‘pop’. “Tell me what you want, Kathryn.”

She writhed impatiently, trying to fuck his fingers. “You. I want you …”

Chakotay kissed over her stomach. “Do you want my tongue inside you?”

Kathryn groaned. “Yes! I want you to fuck me with it!”

Crouching between her open thighs, Chakotay parted her dark curls and blew across her glistening pink folds. “You’re so wet, Kathryn …” he murmured, running his rough tongue against her.

Kathryn gasped as he assaulted her core and she toyed with her nipples, keeping them erect. “Ooh, yes … God, you’re good!”

He was humming and tongue-fucking her, licking at the juices as they flowed from her warm pussy and nuzzling her hard clitoris with his nose.

“Chakotay,” she said, in a voice that sounded strangled and forced. “Turn around … I want your cock in my mouth …”

Rising up, he gave her a lustful grin, complete with dimples and a chin that dripped with her honey sweet nectar. It took a moment for him to reposition himself, lying so that his throbbing, weeping shaft nudged at her parted lips. His groan of delight as she suckled the fat tip, rippled against her pussy as he began noisily licking her.

Kathryn drew more of him into her mouth, cupping his buttocks with one hand and pumping him with the other. He was tangy from their previous coupling, a mixture of salt and sweat, but delicious. Hungrily, she lapped, nipped and sucked, rubbing her nose into the musky black curls and mewing her pleasure.

The room filled with the scent of arousal and echoed with grunts and moans, as pelvis’ ground into chins and they slurped their way towards climax.

“No, Kathryn …” Chakotay rasped. “I have to be inside you …”

She let out a frustrated groan as his tongue left her and he pulled his bobbing cock from her mouth.

“Please … I’m so close …” she begged, circling her swollen clit with a skillful finger.

“One day I want to watch you do that,” he growled, settling between her thighs, mindful to support his weight on his elbows.

“One day I might make you,” Kathryn teased, before sighing as his thick member pushed deeply into her. “Don’t be gentle with me … I need it hard …”

Chakotay pulled almost completely out then surged back in, feeling her muscles clenching around him. “Spirits, you’re tight … feels good around my cock …”

She shivered and bit at his neck. “Talk to me …”

He grunted and thrust harder. “Your pussy’s so wet, Kathryn … coating my cock as it fucks you … you feel so good and tight … beautiful … fucking beautiful … I’m fucking you … pounding your pussy with my cock … I’m going to make you come …”

Her hips bucked wildly and she panted into his face. “Kiss me … I want to taste myself on your lips …”

“Fuck,” he growled, smashing her lips with his and plunging his tongue into her welcoming mouth, mimicking the action of his prick in her sex.

Their tongues meshed and duelled, as their bodies strained and rocked. Kathryn curled her ankles around his waist and dug her nails into his bronzed back, which was glazed with sweat.

He ground into her, tangling his wiry black curls with her auburn ones and rubbing her aching nerve bundle.

“Oh!” her mouth tore from his.

“Kathryn …”

“Chakotay! Oh God, help me!” she cried, arching upwards, her face a mixture of pleasure and pain eyes wide and mouth open in breathless sobs.

“Kathryn!” he repeated, roaring out her name.

She felt his seed flooding her and clung to him, kissing his face and neck as he continued jerking.

“Chakotay, that was amazing … I love you … I love you,” she breathed, holding him tight to her breasts, as he gasped for air.

* * * *

Soft music drifted into the bedroom, rousing Kathryn from her precious sleep, which had become a rare luxury since their daughter Madeline’s birth six weeks ago. With a yawn, she climbed out of their empty bed and padded towards the lounge. Kathryn paused in the doorway observing the scene by the window.

Chakotay was shuffling a slow dance to the music, cradling Madeline to his bare chest, whispering soothing words to her.

“Telling her ancient legends?” Kathryn whispered, approaching them and slipping her arm around Chakotay’s waist.

He smiled tenderly. “Yes, about a beautiful woman warrior …”

Kathryn stood on tiptoes and kissed him. “I didn’t hear her wake up.”

Madeline murmured as Kathryn gently stroked a chubby cheek.

“You were exhausted, so I brought her out here. Personally I think she just wanted to dance with her daddy.”

“Who can blame her?”

The cosy atmosphere was pierced by a shrill cry.

“Seems she wants mommy now,” Kathryn quipped, taking her from Chakotay’s arms.

“Only because you have dinner,” he pouted, earning himself a smack on the rear.

“Go fetch me a coffee!”

She barely heard his mumbled reply, just catching something about ‘orders’ and ‘Captain’.

“That’s Admiral!” Kathryn called out, laughing softly. “Ssh darling, mommy’s here,” she soothed, getting comfortable on the couch and slipping a breast out of her nightgown.

Madeline latched on hungrily, sucking hard and making Kathryn wince. “God help me when you get teeth,” she muttered.

Chakotay came back carrying two steaming mugs of tea.

“That doesn’t smell like coffee,” Kathryn grouched.

He at least had the grace to look guilty. “Maddie doesn’t need a caffeine boost and neither do you right now. Its only 0300hrs and after she’s fed and changed we’re all going to try to get more sleep.”

Kathryn snuggled into his warm body, as Madeline noisily suckled between them. “You’re right, I guess.”

Chakotay stroked their daughter’s fine, dark hair. “She’s so beautiful. Thank you, Kathryn,” he whispered.

“No, thank you … for taking that day what was always yours – me … and for coming back.”

“I love you,” he said. “Both of you,” he added, kissing Madeline softly then kissing her mom.

“Mmm, that’s nice,” Kathryn sighed. “I think she’s almost asleep. How about I change her and put her back into her crib whilst you go and warm the bed? And then when I come back, you can show me exactly how much you love me,” she purred, giving him a seductive wink.

“Sounds good to me,” he grinned, growing hard in his navy sweats.

Kathryn eased Madeline from her breast and straightened her gown. “I saw the Doctor today,” she mentioned, standing up. “I’ve got the all clear … we can have full, penetrative sex again and, God, I can’t wait!”

Chakotay laughed as she left the room, hips swaying.

The End

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