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Disclaimer: Not my characters; but plot all mine! Rating: NC17 Codes: J/other, J/C Summary: Set six months after the events in Endgame. Once home, Chakotay’s relationship with Seven soon ends and, after the de-briefings and promotions, he finally manages to persuade Kathryn to redefine some ‘parameters’. Their delicate new relationship is threatened when the sudden death of Admiral Paris unveils a horrific secret from Kathryn’s past. “Come on, O’Donnel! Keep your hands up!” Chakotay shouted. “Don’t let him use that right hook!” The flagging boxer in the ring tried to raise his fists and protect his face from his opponent’s blows. “Move your feet! You’re an easy target standing still!” Tom Paris joined his former Commander beside the ring. “How’s it going, Chief?” “Admiral O’Donnel’s son.” Chakotay pointed to the tired young man clinging to the ropes. “Daddy thinks his son should excel at boxing.” Paris nodded his understanding. “And you pulled the short straw, right?” “Right.” Chakotay threw two towels into the ring. “Go get showered,” he ordered. The two students left and Chakotay turned to Tom. “How’s things with you, Tom?” Paris momentarily broke eye contact and gazed at the floor. “Okay. B’Elanna’s been a great help.” Chakotay clasped the younger man’s shoulder. “If you ever need to talk, my door is always open. Your father was a good man, Tom.” “Thanks, Chief.” Tom fiddled nervously with something in his hand. “But my old man might not have been as great as you think …” Chakotay’s brow creased. “Tom?” Paris held out a data-chip. “I found this amongst dad’s things. I think you should take a look at it.” Chakotay eyed it quizzically. “It concerns the Captain,” Tom elaborated. Despite her promotion, the Voyager crew continued to refer to Admiral Janeway as ‘the Captain’. It was more a term of endearment rather than a sign of disrespect. Chakotay rarely corrected them. Janeway never did. “Maybe you should tell me what this is about,” Chakotay growled. Tom squirmed. “I only watched the first couple of minutes.” Chakotay’s eyes darkened. “And?” “And I stopped the playback!” Paris sighed and tried another approach. “Look, Chief, you’re closer to the Captain than anyone else … I can’t take this to her … hell, maybe you shouldn’t … but she has the right to know …” “What aren’t you telling me, Paris?” “My dad accessed this file tens of thousands of times. It’s from a Cardassian security imager.” * Kathryn Janeway opened the door and smiled brightly. “Chakotay! This is a nice surprise! Come in!” Chakotay tried to return her smile. “I hope I’m not intruding …” “No, not at all,” she enthused, leading him into the spacious lounge. “Can I get you some tea?” Chakotay perched uncomfortably on the edge on the couch. “Yes, please.” A black and white Cocker Spaniel puppy bounded around the corner and tripped over his large ears, running into Chakotay’s leg. “Hey there little fellow,” he said, bending to stroke the excited pup. “His name’s Sammy,” Kathryn called out from the kitchen. “My sister brought him over … she couldn’t cope with a puppy and the twins.” Chakotay watched Sammy tearing around in a circle, chasing his tail. “I can understand that.” Kathryn reappeared carrying two steaming mugs. “So, what can I do for you?” Chakotay accepted the tea and took a sip. “Careful, its hot,” she warned. “Oh no … no, no, no! Not on the rug!” Kathryn chastised, grabbing the puppy and quickly depositing him on the sanitary paper in the corner. “I’m afraid he’s not housetrained yet,” she explained, glancing back over her shoulder as she held the wriggling pup in place. Chakotay gave her a soft smile and forced some more tea down his throat. “Good boy, sweetie,” she praised, letting the puppy go and removing the square of damp paper. “Can you stay for lunch, Chakotay?” she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Kathryn …” “I promise, you can cook!” she laughed. Chakotay’s mouth failed to curve into a smile. Kathryn noticed his mood and sat beside him. “Chakotay, what’s the matter?” “I had a visit from Tom …” “How is he?” she asked, immediately concerned. “He’s not the problem …” “Is it B’Elanna? Miral?” Chakotay took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the data-chip. “Tom gave this to me. He found it amongst his father’s things. At first he was intrigued because it had been accessed so many times …” Kathryn gave it a wary look. “I have a feeling I’m not going to like this …” “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You’re scaring me now.” His trembling hand reached out and inserted the data chip into the monitor on the table. The screen activated, revealing a grainy image of a cold, bare cell. A figure cowered in the corner. The cell door opens with a loud bang and a tall Cardassian enters, followed by several of his men. “Get up, Starfleet,” he orders. A young Kathryn Janeway haltering stands. She looks terrified. The Cardassian approaches her. “I am Gul L’rec,” he tells her. “You are to be my guest. Displease me and you will be killed – slowly.” “I don’t know anything,” Janeway murmurs. L’rec backhands her, knocking her to the floor. “You will only speak when I tell you to, understand?” The sobbing girl nods then cries out as the Cardassian hauls her to her knees. “You will learn how to please me,” he jeers, rubbing her face into his crotch. “No …” The guards laugh as she struggles. L’rec holds on tightly, one hand snatching her ponytail, whilst the other frees his engorged member. It is obscenely large and covered in grey scales. Janeway recoils in horror. “No … please …” L’rec’s fingers dig into her jaw, forcing her mouth open. He surges inside, his girth splitting the corner of her lips. “Suck it, Starfleet bitch,” he snarls, ignoring the choking noises and fucking her throat. She tries to push him away, but her small palms are ineffective against his sturdy legs. Her muffled protest arouses him further and he grinds her nose into his pubic hair, roaring loudly. L’rec staggers backwards and Janeway slumps, coughing violently and spewing out his thick cum. Before she can recover, L’rec nods to his men. They throw her onto her back and tear at her uniform. One of them parts her legs and mounts her. She screams … “Turn it off,” Kathryn stammered, jumping up and running from the room, her palm covering her mouth. Chakotay looked up from the floor and stopped the playback. He took a moment to wipe his eyes and steady his breathing before following her. He approached the bathroom and gently opened the door. “Kathryn?” She was kneeling over the toilet, her tiny body shaking violently as she vomited. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, dampening a face cloth and pressing it against her neck. Kathryn grabbed the cloth and wiped her mouth. “You really think I needed a reminder?” she asked, hoarsely. “Of course not. I just thought …” She stood and pointed her finger at him. “No, that’s it! You didn’t think! I’ve spent the last twenty-three years trying to forget what they did to me.” Chakotay hovered in the doorway, unsure what to say. Kathryn rose to her feet. “I thought you were my … friend, Chakotay.” “I’m more than that. I …” “Are you?” she asked, her brow creasing as she stared at him. “Kathryn …” Her eyes bore into him. “Did you watch it? Get a little excited, maybe?” Chakotay reeled. “Spirit’s sake! You think I want to see … that happening to you?” “That son-of-a-bitch Owen Paris obviously did! How many times did he access it?” “Don’t do this …” Kathryn pushed at his chest. “I didn’t DO this! You did! You brought this into my home and now you’re expecting me to just DROP it?” she screeched. “I want to know how many times that bastard watched!” “Thousands,” he mumbled. She gasped. “He was … masturbating …” “He was obviously a very sick man.” “My God … that’s an understatement! They … hurt me … how could he find that arousing, Chakotay?” Chakotay had never seen her look so tiny and vulnerable. It was heartbreaking. He just wanted to hold her and take away her pain. Kathryn had other ideas. “Don’t touch me!” “I’m sorry …” She jerked away from him. “I just … don’t want you … touching me. Do you understand?” Tears trickled from his dark, expressive eyes. “I feel so helpless,” he gestured. “I don’t know what to do to.” Kathryn backed out of the room. “Don’t come near me …” Chakotay ran his fingers through his hair. “Please, Kathryn …” “No!” The puppy yelped and scuttled out of her way as she ran back into the lounge and paced angrily. “Who else has seen it? Tom? Harry? The entire Admiralty? Have they been laughing at me? Jeering behind my back? Enjoying my humiliation?” “Tom turned it off after a couple of seconds. No one else has seen it,” he told her, solemnly. “Ha! Poor Tom, missing out on the best bits! Perhaps he’d like to borrow it!” She snatched the chip out of the monitor and threw it at Chakotay. “Here, take it! Let them all see what a whore I am! A dirty, Cardassian whore!” “Kathryn … you’re not a … whore. They forced you,” he croaked. “Men like that, don’t they, a little rough sex? ‘Oh, she’s asking for it, begging for it, deserves it!’ Isn’t that what you’re thinking, Chakotay? Wondering if you should’ve done the same, pinned down the frigid Captain and fucked her brains out?” Chakotay angrily advanced on her and grabbed her arms, shaking her roughly. “Damn it, Kathryn!” he hollered. “That’s not true!” “Isn’t it? You’ve wanted to screw me for years!” she taunted. “Go on then, do it!” His anger faded and he released her. “Kathryn, please …” “Did it make you horny, watching it? Did you jerk off like that bastard Paris did?” “No,” he softly answered. “I trusted him! How could he do that to me?” she screamed, turning and striking out, knocking the monitor and coffee mugs on the table. They crashed to the floor. “Why did he keep it? Why?” she sobbed, crumpling into a heap. Chakotay felt helpless. “I don’t know …” Kathryn curled into a ball. “Why?” she repeated. The puppy whined and tried to pad nearer his stricken mistress. Chakotay quickly scooped him up and put him in the kitchen then returned to crouch next to Kathryn’s shuddering body. He reached out and gingerly touched her shoulder. “Kathryn …” She raised her head and looked at him tearfully. “Hold me?” The plea was so quiet he barely heard it. “As long as you want,” he whispered, folding his arms around her and burrowing his face in her hair, letting it absorb his silent tears. * Chakotay wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but his precious bundle had finally cried herself to sleep. Willing his numb legs to stand, he eased himself up onto his feet, carefully manoeuvring Kathryn into his strong arms and carrying her into the bedroom. He lowered her onto the bed and smiled as she unconsciously snuggled into the pillow. She looked so small and fragile. Gently brushing the hair away from her face, he whispered, “How could anyone hurt you?” * After spending a couple of hours clearing up the debris in the lounge and keeping the puppy occupied, Chakotay decided to check on Kathryn. He cautiously approached the door to her bedroom and peeped inside. She stirred and opened her eyes. “Hi,” he greeted, stepping closer. “I’ve someone here who’s been missing you.” The excited pup escaped from his arms and landed with a plop on the bed, quickly bouncing over it’s surface and pushing his wet nose into Kathryn’s face. She gave a tired smile and ruffled the dog’s ears. “He’s been looking for you,” Chakotay said. “He’s spoilt,” she answered. An uneasy silence hung over them, which was eventually punctured by Sammy’s gentle snoring. Kathryn tickled his speckled belly. “Easy life,” she murmured. Chakotay cleared his throat. “I’ve made some fresh coffee …” “Thank you. I’ll be out shortly.” He was aware that she was avoiding his gaze. “Okay … I’ll go pour us both a cup.” Kathryn nodded absently and continued to focus on the snoozing pup. Chakotay left the room to prepare their drinks. He sat quietly sipping his as Kathryn entered holding Sammy. She glanced nervously around. “Where is it?” Chakotay pointed to the desk. “Over there. I wasn’t sure what to do with it.” She gave another nod and perched in the chair. “I’m sorry … about earlier … you shouldn’t have had to witness that.” He lent forward, wishing she would look at him. “You have nothing to apologise for. I should have destroyed it.” Kathryn glanced up. “I would’ve seen the truth in your eyes.” He fell silent for a moment then softly asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I wanted to … just didn’t know how,” she whispered. “I couldn’t bear the thought that after everything we’ve been through … I might lose you.” “Lose me?” his brow creased in confusion. She averted her gaze. “Oh, come on, Chakotay! Don’t insult me by lying to me. I realise that … this … relationship of ours is over. That you’re angry with me … disgusted …” “Stop right there, Kathryn,” he growled, standing up. “How could you even think that?” His fists clenched. “Yes, I’m angry and disgusted, but its with those bastards who …” “Its okay, you can say it. Rape. They raped me.” “I want to kill them, slowly. With my bare hands.” “I’m sure they perished in the Dominion war. Hopefully, they’re rotting in hell. Along with Owen Paris.” The puppy shifted and yawned noisily. Kathryn carried him over to the paper and deposited him in the centre of it. “You’re staying there till you’ve been,” she warned, stopping him from walking away. Chakotay moved to stand behind her and reached out to touch her shoulder. “None of this changes how I feel about you.” She shrugged him off. “I don’t need your pity.” He stepped back. “I don’t pity you, Kathryn.” He took a deep breath and searched for the right words. “As a Maquis, I saw the devastation the Cardassians left behind … liberated some of their … rape camps. It takes great courage and strength to survive that.” Kathryn let out a choked laugh and turned to face him. “Strength? Courage? I’m a coward, Chakotay!” “No …” “Yes! I’ve buried it so deep … never speaking about it … letting it rule my life …” She took a steadying breath. “It was never about protocol, Chakotay. It was about fear – my fear. You see … I’ve never …” she swallowed hard. “I was a … virgin … when it happened … and afterwards … I felt used and dirty. What man would want a Cardassian whore?” “Kathryn …” Her eyes glazed. “I’ve wondered, sometimes, what it would be like … making love.” “But you were engaged …” She gave a wry smile. “Mark is gay. Our relationship was purely fictitious and very safe.” “Oh, Kathryn,” he reached out and was relieved when she grasped his hand. She led them both to the couch and sat down. “The thought of a relationship scares me … even with you.” “I’d never hurt you,” he whispered. “I know, but the physical side … terrifies me.” Suddenly recent events became clearer and Chakotay groaned. “Like last week …” The previous week, after enjoying a delicious meal, they had retired to the couch with the remainder of the wine. As the bottle emptied, they had drifted closer, sharing sweet, tender kisses. Chakotay, aroused and eager for things to develop further had pushed his hand up under her tunic and cupped her breast. She had jerked away and fled to the opposite side of the room, making an excuse about having to get up early and asking him to leave. “I panicked,” Kathryn explained. Chakotay squeezed her hand. “I thought I’d ruined things. I’ve hardly seen you since.” She bit her lip. “I’ve been trying to figure out a way of ending it.” “Why?” he gasped. “Because you deserve better … because I can never be what you want …” “Hold it right there! What I want is YOU!” She smiled sadly. “Things are different now.” “I’m sorry, Kathryn, but I’m not going to allow you to use what happened as an excuse to push me away. I love you and I want to be with you and if it means that we never do more than kiss and cuddle that’s fine. I want you in my life, Kathryn.” Her palm cupped his cheek. “You mean more to me than you could ever know, Chakotay, but I can’t do this,” she explained tearfully. “Don’t say that,” he begged, resting his forehead against hers. “You should’ve stayed with Seven.” “I didn’t love her.” “At least she’s not dirty and used.” “You’re not dirty,” he croaked, desperately clutching her face. Her eyes glazed over. “I remember the pain … begging them to stop … oh, God, I thought I would die.” Tears rolled freely over her cheeks. “Afterwards, they laughed and … spat on me. I tried to move but the pain was horrendous. I laid there, covered in their filth … cold. So cold,” she shivered. He held her, rocking her soothingly. “But you survived, Kathryn. You beat them.” She pulled away and crossed to the window. “Did I?” Chakotay raked his fingers through his hair. “Kathryn …” Keeping her back to him, she stared out at her neatly arranged garden. “After we were rescued, I just wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened – threw myself into my work. Didn’t want anyone to know. Only those bastards had left behind a little reminder. I was pregnant …” Chakotay struggled for a response. “You … have a child?” Kathryn shook her head. “I lost her … too many untreated infections. I never even realised … collapsed on duty and woke up several days later in sickbay. The doctor filled in the blanks.” “I’m sorry.” “Ah, but this is the real kicker,” she gave a mirthless laugh and spun around. “The miscarriage left me unable to have another child! My only chance, gone. Those bastards stole everything from me!” Her eyes met his. “That’s why we can’t be together … don’t you see? I have nothing left to give you,” she whispered. He stood up and slowly approached her with out-stretched arms and silently thanked the Spirits when she fell into them. “I’m sorry … you’ve been through so much, but please don’t push me away … let me be here for you,” he brokenly pleaded. Her tears seeped through his shirt. “I hate them, Chakotay. I’ve tried so hard to accept what happened … move on … but I want to be normal! I want to be able to love you properly, give you a child … I know how badly you want one … and I want one too. I want a baby, Chakotay …” “We could get a second opinion …” Kathryn eased away from him. “I already have. On Voyager.” Chakotay was confused. “On Voyager?” She went back to the couch with a sigh. “I asked the Doctor to examine me …” “When?” Jealousy spiked him. “After Quarra?” “Nothing happened with Jaffen.” She wearily held up a hand to prevent him arguing. “Yes, I moved in with him, but we didn’t do anything more than cuddle. I guess even brainwashing couldn’t make me normal!” Her laughter was harsh and false. “I’m sorry. I had no right to ask,” he lamely offered. Kathryn stared at him. “It was after Seska.” “Seska?” It wasn’t the answer he had imagined. “I knew how badly you wanted that child, Chakotay, and thought maybe …” her voice trailed off. Chakotay watched her struggle for the right words. “We’d become … close … after New Earth. I thought …” she rubbed a hand along her forehead. “ … hoped, we could … progress … I knew I … had fallen in love and hoped you felt the same …” Chakotay groaned, finally hearing her admit she loved him. “Oh, Kathryn. You know I did. Still do,” he added, softly. “If I was to come to you … I had to be … complete. Do you understand?” He had to be honest. “No, I don’t.” Kathryn sighed again. “I couldn’t ask you to give up wanting a child of your own. And that’s something I just can’t give you. The Doctor only confirmed what I already knew,” she whispered. Chakotay pushed his fingers through his hair. “Spirits, Kathryn! All these years …” “It wouldn’t have changed anything!” “We could’ve been together!” “No!” Her vehement denial took him by surprise. “No?” “No.” Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears. “I don’t know how to be … in a relationship. Even now. I’m scared I’ll fail you and make a fool of myself. We can never be more than friends. It was crazy to try.” Chakotay perched on the coffee table in front of her and reached for her hands. “I love you and I want to be with you. I can’t go back to being just friends, because …” he flashed her a dimpled smile, “… I’ve grown really fond of your kisses and I’ll die without them!” Kathryn gave a soft laugh. “Die, huh?” “Would I lie to you?” She slowly shook her head. “No.” His thumbs caressed the back of her hands. “I’ll never pressure you …” “I know.” “Whatever you’re comfortable with …” “Are you sure about this?” “I love you, Kathryn, nothing else matters.” * Three weeks later, Chakotay was walking Kathryn home after dinner at Tom and B’Elanna’s. “I enjoyed tonight,” he told her, gauging her reaction. Kathryn keyed open her door. “Yes … I was a little worried at first … about Tom … but everything went okay. Miral’s simply gorgeous – and growing so fast.” “Seeing her didn’t … upset you?” Chakotay asked, softly. She turned to face him. “A little, if I’m honest. I suppose I can’t help envying Tom and B’Elanna … but …” she smiled at him, “… I’m happy with my life at the moment.” He leant nearer. “And does that have anything to do with a certain, dashing Commander who’s crazy for you?” he teased. “Maybe.” Chakotay dipped his head and stole a gentle, lingering kiss. “Mmm, you do that very well, Admiral!” Kathryn blushed and coyly peered up at him. “Coming in for a nightcap?” “As long as it’s not coffee,” he grinned. “Vulcan brandy?” “Tuvok still sending the stuff?” “Every month.” They stepped inside the house and were greeted enthusiastically by Sammy. “Hello, sweetie, miss me?” Kathryn asked, kicking off her shoes and bending to fuss the puppy. Chakotay grabbed two glasses and poured them both a drink. “Does Tuvok know something about you that I don’t? Like a drinking problem, for instance?” he asked, tongue firmly in cheek. Kathryn rolled her eyes and reclined on the couch. “And you seriously thought it was just coffee in my mug all those years?” He chuckled and joined her on the sofa, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and drawing her near. “Now this is nice,” he murmured. “Mmm,” Kathryn replied, snuggling closer. Sammy whined and tried to jump up on the couch. “He wants to join us,” Kathryn lazily explained. Chakotay reached down and grasped around for one of Sammy’s toys. Finding a ball, he threw it across the room. “Sorry, pal, I’m not sharing tonight,” he drawled, watching the pup scurry after it. “Oh, you’re mean!” she laughed, playfully swiping at him. Chakotay stretched out, making himself comfortable and bringing her further into his embrace. “Forgive me?” Kathryn raised her head and gave him a soft kiss. “Oh, I think so.” He cupped her chin and drew her back for another kiss, slipping his fingers into her hair as he deepened it. His lips skillfully parted hers and she moaned as their tongues met, tangling in the warmth of her mouth. She clasped his nape, holding him to her as she pushed his tongue aside and explored him, tasting him thoroughly. His free hand grazed lower, gently caressing the curve of her rear and giving her left cheek a light squeeze. She whimpered and clung to him, sucking his tongue passionately and pressing herself tightly against him. Chakotay was fighting a tough battle trying to control his growing arousal. Despite her constant moans, he was wary of touching the places he desperately wanted to touch. He was also trying to ignore the urge to flip them over and bury himself in her soft body. Suddenly, Kathryn broke the kiss. “I’m sorry,” she panted. He swallowed his groan of frustration. “It’s okay. We got a little carried away.” He removed his hand from her buttocks and stroked her back soothingly. “No … it’s me,” she whispered. “I …” she ducked her head. “Kathryn, I understand. I made a promise never to push you and …” Her fingers silenced him. “No … I …” she took a deep breath. “It hurts … when we … kiss.” Chakotay was confused. “Am I too rough? Smash your lips …” Kathryn’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Oh, God, no … you’re a great kisser! Its just …” “You can tell me anything.” “I know.” She took another deep breath and blurted it out. “It hurts … aches … down … there … when you kiss me.” Chakotay flashed a smile of relief. “That’s perfectly normal, sweetheart. I’d be a little disappointed if you felt nothing.” “But …” she wriggled, trying to ease the ache between her thighs. He stroked her jaw. “Haven’t you ever … pleasured yourself?” She looked shocked. “No!” “Oh, Kathryn.” It upset him, the realisation of how lonely and frustrating Kathryn’s life had been. He hated the bastards who were responsible. She sat up with a sigh. “Perhaps you should leave.” “Do you trust me?” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Yes.” He gently eased her back into his arms. “Let me please you.” “I’m not sure … I …” Chakotay stroked a finger along her jawline. “Just touching, Kathryn. I won’t force you into anything more.” She nodded, but her body remained tense. “Relax,” he whispered, brushing his lips over hers and nibbling at her lower one, taking his time to coax a response from her. Eventually, her small palms moved to once more cup his nape and her lips opened, inviting his tongue to delve inside and duel with hers. He kissed her thoroughly, swirling his tongue around her warm mouth and sucking hers into his own. As they kissed, one of his hands wandered to lightly caress her hip and thigh. The contact burned her skin, even through her clothing, and she groaned softly. His lips left hers and trailed a series of delicate kisses along her chin and throat, moving to nuzzle the spot just below her ear. “Oh, God,” she whispered, arching her neck towards him. He smiled briefly then began lavishing the sensitive spot with attention, alternatively nibbling it with his teeth and soothing it with his tongue. Kathryn was breathing hard and her fingers clenched at the material of his shirt, twisting it. “Chakotay …” He noticed the rocking motion of her hips and eased a thigh between hers, only to find his movement hampered by her skirt. “Lift up for me,” he murmured. Kathryn raised her bottom whilst eyeing him nervously. Chakotay freed the twisted fabric of her skirt and pushed it a little higher, gently skimming her thigh with his large hand. “I’ve never told you, but you’ve got fantastic legs!” he cheekily told her. She paused a moment then started laughing. “I’m glad you think so!” He flashed her a dimpled grin and edged himself closer. “Now, where was I?” His lips suckled at her neck. “Oh … about there,” she gasped. His thigh slipped between hers and she gasped again as it pressed against her hot centre. “Yes … there …” Using his leg, he slowly rubbed her and was rewarded by a growing dampness in her panties. He groaned her name and moved to kiss her, plunging his tongue repeatedly into her mouth to tangle with hers. Her nails were scoring his neck as they busied themselves trying to crawl under the collar of his shirt, in a vain attempt to reach his shoulders. “Could you … take this off?” she asked, shyly. “I want to feel your skin.” Chakotay smiled and wriggled out of the offending article. “Better?” She hesitantly touched his bare chest, admiring the contrast between her pale skin and his golden one. “Yes … much better. You’re … well …” she pulled a face, “incredible.” “Thank you, but you’re the incredible one. You’re beautiful, Kathryn.” “Kiss me,” she breathed, sighing contentedly as his lips once more sought hers. As they smooched, Chakotay’s palm brushed the side of her breast, lightly tracing underneath before softly cupping it. Kathryn ended the kiss and sat up, biting her lip nervously. “Please, Kathryn, trust me. I …” He stopped, speechless, as Kathryn removed her tunic and cast it aside. She shrugged and gave an uncertain smile. “Spirits,” he whispered, admiring the sight of her, deliciously encased in cream satin. Kathryn reached behind her and unclasped the bra, although she didn’t remove it. “I’m a little … out of my depth,” she admitted. “I’m … not sure how far I can … go … but I want to try.” “Kathryn …” he swallowed hard, moved by her trust in him. “I …” “I know,” she said softly. “Come here.” She moved in for another kiss and felt him ease the bra from her shoulders. The feel of his naked skin under hers sent a shiver through her. “Okay?” he asked. Kathryn nodded and pulled him close for a long kiss, murmuring as his fingers teased her nipple into a hard point then gently pinched it. She arched, pushing her breast further into his palm. He rubbed the pebbled peak between his thumb and forefinger before giving it a sharp tug. “Oh, God … yes … that feels good …” she panted. He wriggled lower on the couch and nuzzled her breast, kissing the round globe and making his way to it’s darkened centre. His lips latched onto the nipple and he sucked greedily. Kathryn gasped and clutched at his hair, keeping his mouth on her and watching him devouring her flesh. Her lower body bucked against his thigh, drawing another moan from the back of her throat. As he continued paying homage to her breasts, Chakotay slid his hand down over her waist and up under her skirt. He palmed her hot sex, letting an errant finger circle the hard bundle of nerves. She jerked violently. “I’m … ” “Let it come,” he mumbled, his mouth firmly suctioned to her swollen breast. “Oh, dear God …” His hand pushed inside her panties and thick fingers combed over her neat curls, to explore her folds. She was warm and very wet and he swirled his fingers in the slick moisture, teasing her opening while his thumb massaged her clit. Kathryn’s nails dug into his scalp as she thrashed wildly, hoarsely crying out, the words incoherent. He bit down on her nipple and increased the pressure to her clit, circling harder. Experimentally, he eased a finger into her opening. She was tight and her inner walls gripped the intruding digit. He withdrew it and then slowly filled her again, pumping gently. “Chakotay! I … I … oh, God …” she cried, arching her body and tearing her breast from his mouth. He watched her convulse and continued his manipulations, forcing her into another shattering climax. Finally, she slumped backwards, panting hard, one arm thrown over her eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she chuckled. “I’ve never experienced anything like that before.” “Is this uncomfortable?” he wiggled the finger still sheathed in her heat. She peered at him. “No … not really.” He kissed her. “You were beautiful.” She snorted. “Yeah, I bet.” Carefully, he removed his finger, bringing his hand up to caress her abdomen. “Thank you.” His hand felt sticky on her skin and it made her feel uncomfortable. “Do you want to … wash your hands?” “No, I’ve got it covered,” he replied, bringing his fingers to his lips and licking them clean. “You can’t honestly … like that!” she exclaimed. He smiled. “Yes, I do and one day, if you’re willing …” “I’m not sure I’ll ever be comfortable with that,” she told him, settling into his arms with a yawn. “I’m exhausted!” Chakotay eased her up. “Come on, sweetheart, you should go to bed.” “But what about … your needs?” He grabbed his shirt. “Don’t worry about me, I had a wonderful time!” Kathryn pulled the throw from the back of the couch and held it to her naked breasts. She looked a little bewildered. “Where are you going?” “Home,” he shrugged. “Do you … have to leave?” He clasped her hand. “I’d rather stay … and wake up with the woman I love in my arms.” She smiled and stood up, pulling him to his feet. “Lets go to bed.” * Daylight filtered through the bedroom windows and Chakotay admired the way the sun’s rays danced across Kathryn’s pale skin, highlighting every freckle. He had been awake some time, content to watch her sleep, loving the way her breasts rose with every breath, straining against the silk of her gown. She shifted and one peach nipple escaped its lacy confine to point rudely up at him. Unable to resist, he moistened a finger and lazily teased it into a taut, puckered peak. Kathryn opened her eyes and watched him studying her breast. “Having fun?” He shot her a guilty grin. “My Captain always taught me to take advantage of a situation!” She languidly stretched, pushing her breasts upwards in a subtle invitation. “I doubt she had this situation in mind.” His reply was lost around her nipple as he gently suckled it. Using his hand, he moved to free the other, fingering the tip and giving it a firm pinch. Kathryn arched. “Oh, God, I could get used to this!” He murmured something unintelligible and swapped breasts, keeping the glistening peak hard with his thumb and forefinger. He twisted it, lifting the soft globe entirely as he pulled upwards. “Oh, yes …” she hissed, scoring his back with sharp nails. He rose up and captured her mouth in a sudden plundering kiss and she moaned, sucking him deeper. A hard rod dug into her hip and she reached into his boxers to carefully palm it. Chakotay broke the kiss with a grunt, keeping his eyes tightly shut as he fought for breath. She froze. “Have I … done something wrong?” “No … no,” he rasped. “It feels incredible … but I don’t want to push you. I just need a moment …” She kissed the underside of his jaw. “I want to give you the same pleasure you gave me last night. Show me how …” “Kathryn, you don’t have to …” he ground out through gritted teeth. “I know … but I want to,” she answered, huskily. He rolled away to remove his boxers then settled on his back, taking her hand in his, he wrapped both around the solid shaft. “Like this,” he whispered, moving them up and down his erection. Kathryn propped her head up and stared him. “How does it feel?” “Fucking fantastic!” he blurted out. She giggled softly and kicked the covers lower. “I want to see you.” The air felt cool around the heated head of his cock, chilling the pre-cum that oozed from the tip. Kathryn watched in fascination as their hands pumped faster, spreading the sticky moisture along the length. “Can I try something?” she tentatively asked. It took a moment for his lust-crazed mind to register she had spoken. “What?” She stilled their moving hands, smiling at his frustrated groan as she removed them. “I want to try … something …” Kathryn raised herself onto her knees and hovered over his groin, one hand holding his cock, the other keeping her hair back. “Tell me how to do this,” she whispered, slowly taking him into her mouth. Chakotay gave a low growl and softly tangled his fingers in her hair, guiding her head up and down. “Like that … Spirits like that! That feels so good …” She peered up at him, eyes dancing and her mouth stretched around his shaft. Experimentally, she pressed her tongue against its underside, earning her another groan. “Oh … Kathryn … baby …” Having difficulty swallowing the mixture of saliva and pre-cum, she eased off a little, sucking at the tip while her hand pumped rhythmically. “Kathryn … got to stop … please,” he begged. She sat back, looking vulnerable. “Was I lousy?” He struggled for breath. “No … God no … it felt incredible … but I don’t want to … in your mouth …” “Because you think it will remind me?” “Yeah … I guess. I don’t want to hurt you.” He gave a sigh as she climbed off the bed. “I don’t want to stop. I want you to show me how good it can be,” she quietly told him, peeling off her gown and removing her panties. “I want you to love me … properly.” He gasped at the sight of her completely nude. “You’re perfect.” “Love me, Chakotay,” she pleaded, sliding next to him and pressing their naked flesh together. “I do, Kathryn … Spirits I do,” he whispered, slanting his mouth over hers and kissing her passionately. As they kissed, their hands wandered, sliding over smooth skin and solid muscles. His hands moved to her breasts, kneading them and making her nipples jut out, eager for his twisting fingers. He pinched them, pulling them into rigid peaks before dipping his head and sucking hard, grazing it with his teeth. Kathryn writhed under his ministrations, going crazy with desire. “Oh … yes … yes …” His fingers roamed lower, spreading her thighs and delving into the wetness there. “I want to taste you,” he rasped, kissing over the rise of her belly and settling between her legs. She tried to squirm away. “I’m not sure …” He flattened a palm on her tummy. “Just try, I’ll stop if you don’t like it.” Kathryn gave a nod and lay back. “Good girl. You’ll love this,” he promised. “Touch your breasts for me. Keep those gorgeous nipples nice and erect.” She smiled and began fondling herself. “Now this I do like!” He groaned at the sight of her playing with her breasts. “You like that, don’t you?” “Oh, too much,” she whimpered, arching under her tweaking fingers. Pulling his attention away, he focused on her swollen, pink sex, nuzzling her lips with his mouth sucking at the abundant juices. His fingers gently parted her and he lapped at her opening before pushing his tongue inside and flicking wildly. The sensation caught her off-guard and she bucked wildly. “I … oh!” His chuckle vibrated through her. “Please … more … please …” she mewed, savagely tugging her nipples until they glowed white. He hungrily lapped at her, teeth, tongue and lips driving her insane. She was begging and moaning, grinding constantly against his mouth. “Chakotay … please …” His lips encased her bundle of nerves and he suckled hard, at the same time penetrating her with a thick finger. She spasmed around the digit and he slowly added another, attempting to stretch her in preparation. “Oh, yesss … yesss … yesss!” she cried, arching up off the bed. He held her to him, forcing her into another orgasm. “Oh … no … no … nooo!” She collapsed back into the pillows and licked her dry lips. Chakotay lifted his head. “How was that?” he asked, continuing to gently finger her. Kathryn struggled for a reply. “Fucking fantastic,” she offered. “I knew you’d like it!” “Smart ass!” His fingers pushed a little deeper and she flinched. “Does this hurt?” She took a steadying breath. “A little, but I’m okay.” He paused in his actions. “Kathryn … you’re very tight down here … and I’m a big man …” “Bragging?” she interrupted, looking down at him. “Honest,” he countered, giving a tender smile. “We could wait …” “I’ve waited long enough, Chakotay. I want to feel you inside me.” “Okay,” he told her, lowering his mouth to her pussy and working her up once more, hearing her breathy moans as he tormented her sensitive flesh. “Ooh … now … please …” He repeatedly flicked her clit with his tongue and stretched his fingers inside her, adding a third. “Now … Chakotay …” She clawed at his head, dragging him away from her drenched folds and pulling him to her for a heated kiss. She thrust her tongue into his mouth, eagerly tasting herself on his. His sticky fingers raked through her hair, clutching her to him as he returned the kiss, fucking her mouth with his tongue. He climbed over her body, settling between her widely spread thighs. Reaching down, he dragged his swollen tip along her pussy, coating it in her slick juices. He adjusted his position and nudged her opening with the head. “Just relax for me, Kathryn,” he rasped. She locked her eyes with his and took a deep breath, tensing as he pushed against her. Chakotay groaned as he felt her tightening up. He couldn’t get inside. “You’ve got to relax,” he said, massaging her clit in an attempt to make her more receptive. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. His kissed her lips, softly nibbling them. “Its okay.” Tears formed in her eyes. “No, its not. I wanted to do this!” He used both hands to cup her face. “Hey, there’s no rush. We can try another time.” “I bet Seven wasn’t this frigid!” Chakotay was shocked. “There are no comparisons between you and Seven …” “Yeah, I bet!” she sniffed, rolling away from him. He moved onto his side and turned her back into his arms. “There are no comparisons, because I love you. You mean everything to me. I wish I could change what happened to you, but I can’t.” He could see she was about to interrupt. “But equally, I believe we’ll get through this. I’m never going to give up on you, Kathryn.” “You deserve better …” “It doesn’t get any better than you. I’m crazy about you, Kathryn, and I don’t want anyone else. Why can’t you accept that?” Her mouth nuzzled his. “I’m afraid I’ll lose you.” “That will never happen,” he promised, returning her kiss and deepening it. The kiss continued and Chakotay gently caressed her body, touching her silky skin and exploring every curve. His semi-erect cock swelled against her belly and he rocked his hips, stimulating himself. Kathryn wedged a palm between them and stroked it. “Oh, yes, Kathryn,” he whispered. “Don’t stop …” He was trembling in her arms, his warm breath panting into her hair. She pressed nearer and wrapped her thigh over his, intending to massage her aching sex with his fat tip. They both gasped as their over-sensitive flesh rubbed together and he wrapped his hand over hers, guiding her movements. She hugged him closer, squirming with unfulfilled desire. “I want you,” he rasped, lifting her thigh further and thrusting his hips, penetrating her with the head of his large cock. She bit down on his shoulder. “Spirits, Kathryn … I’m almost inside,” he ground out, pushing deeper. She took a steadying breath and rocked against him, swallowing a little more of his length. His hands clutched at her, pressing her lower body tightly to his. He felt himself penetrate further. “Spirits, you feel so good …” Kathryn kissed him. “Take me, Chakotay.” “So tight and hot,” he growled, grinding their pelvises together. “I won’t last long … I’m sorry …” “That’s okay … don’t hold back … I can feel you moving inside me …” “Spirits, Kathryn … I need to fuck you …” His words shocked her and she wasn’t sure what to say. “I need to be deeper,” was the grunted explanation as he rolled them, positioning her underneath him. “Got to thrust harder …” Kathryn opened her legs wider and braced herself. He flexed his hips and surged forwards, filling her completely. She squeaked. “I’m sorry,” he rasped. “Its okay,” she answered, breathing hard. “You feel so good … I’m fucking you …” He repeated his mantra as his cock battered the neck of her womb. She held on, feeling her nipples dragging against his skin and longing for his mouth to suckle them. Instead, his mouth latched onto the spot below her ear. Arousal jolted through her. “Oh … please …” Chakotay thrust a hand between them and began rapidly circling her clit. “Come for me, Kathryn …” She arched upwards and groaned as he pushed deeper. “Faster …” He pounded in and out, the violent pace causing the headboard to bang loudly on the wall, keeping time with Kathryn’s strangled moans. “Oh, God …please! Oh, Chakotay … please … please …” His hips slammed into hers and sweat ran from his body to pool on her breasts and tummy. “I’m going to come, Kathryn,” he warned. “Yes … yesss … yesss!” she cried, bucking frantically tearing at his back. Chakotay felt her muscles clamping around his cock like an iron fist and he lost control, jerking wildly. “That’s it … take it!” he growled, flooding her with hot, streaming jets of ejaculate. He collapsed, panting. “My God,” she breathed. He raised his head. “Are you okay? I got a little carried away …” Her face was flushed. “Feel free to get carried away like that anytime! That was incredible!” He stole another kiss, languidly duelling with her tongue. Kathryn ended it a moment later. “I did it, didn’t I?” she smiled. He returned her grin. “And you were amazing.” “We made love.” “Yes.” “You fucked me.” He gave her a look of surprise. “Oh, come on, Chakotay! That’s all you kept saying! So much for romance!” His answering chuckled made him twitch inside her. “Okay, I admit it!” She wriggled onto his flaccid cock, keeping him firmly within her. “Think you’ll want to fuck me again?” she asked, huskily. Chakotay groaned. “Just give me a few minutes to recover and I’ll fuck you so good you’ll lose your voice screaming my name!” “If that happens, think you’ll be able to come up with something that’ll ease my sore throat?” His cock stirred. “Definitely!” She grinned and pulled him down for a sloppy kiss. “I love you.” The End Return to Index For More Filthy Fic Think this was over the top? Well, don’t be shy!! Let me know! |
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