| Moon-Mashed (The Sequel to M.A.S.H.--Moon Style) By: Chibi Michiru "Come on, Mina! Do me! Do me!" I demanded, jumping up and down. I love M.A.S.H.! It's so great! Artemis jumped up-- "NO! Don't do it! It'll come true!" he screamed. I ignored him. "Let me pick a number! Artemis could!" I begged. Mina rolled her eyes. "Okay, Serena, pick a number," she groaned. I jumped up and down--again. My life was gonna be perfect! "Five-five-five-five-FIVE!!" I cried. I was soo excited. Darien looked anxiously. I grinned. "Ooh, Darien, you look anxious! Are you hoping that I'll marry you?" I said aggressively. Darien blushed. Everyone stared at him. "Uh...um, no. I just...I-I just want it to be over--yeah, that's right," Darien was bright red. I knew that he was anxious, he just wanted to keep it a secret. Wow! Raye growled. I could tell that she was jealous. If se were any more jealous, her face would've been green! Amy read a book, and Lita drank some tea to calm herself. "Aha! Serena, this is rich!" Mina laughed. Uh-oh! What if I lived in a shack! And-- "Ack! What if I ended up with a shack, Melvin, Rini, Wiseman--Oh no!" I yelled. Rini stopped petting Luna and Artemis, and sat on Darien's lap. "Am I a bad daughter?" Rini sniffed. Darien glared at me with his hands on his hips. "Serena! That's mean!--No, Rini, you aren't bad, just normal," Grrr! That little brat keeps stealing my Darien! Just wait! I'll get him back on my side! Mina stood up. Everyone stopped talking. "Serena will live in a mansion, with her husband >giggle< Melvin, and her daughter Rini. She will work as one of Beryl's generals, and Andrew's dad will be her boss! She'll have a cat named Hercules, and will have Melvin's bike as transportation!" Mina collapsed in a pile of laughter. Gee. Some life. Now I knew how Artemis felt. How could everyone laugh so hard? It's not even funny! "That's it! I'm going to bed! You too, Rini! Good-bye!" I leaped into bed, and watched everyone leave. I fell asleep almost suddenly. Later, I woke up in a fancy room, with silk sheets and everything. I walked around. There were so many rooms, this place had to be a mansion! Finally, I found the dining room, and there were two people at the long table: Rini and -- MELVIN?! Noo! This had to be a dream! I ran to Rini. "Pinch me!" I screamed. "Gladly," she grinned, and pinched my arm. I didn't wake up. It wasn't a dream! Ack! NOOO! Melvin looked at me. "Good morning my sweet!" Melvin kissed my hand. (EW!! Sick!) I pushed him away, and ran to my room, bumping into a fat, green cat. Hercules! He was the only good thing so far. I apologized, and got dressed. I didn't have to find out--I knew. I was one of Queen Beryl's generals! I was living my MASH life, and there was no stopping it! I hopped onto Melvin's bike, and headed toward Beryl Headquarters. "Ahh, hello Serena. You're late. Do you have any plans to kill Sailor Moon?" A voice, not Beryl's asked. Kill Sailor Moon?! Aren't I Sailor Moon?! Well, if I'm not, then who is? And should I kill her? "Uh...um, yes I do," I replied quickly. Beryl scratched her chin. "What is it?" I was afraid she was going to ask that, but I didn't have one! I'll make it up as I go, I thought. "Too complicated. Just trust me," I explained, then left. I made a monster attack a coffee shop. Just I knew they would, the Sailor Scouts appeared. Raye stood in front, and she had my Sailor suit on! "I am Sailor Moon, the champion of love and justice, and...uh, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!" she stated. Those were my lines! Perfect. It couldn't possibly get worse than this! Raye--er, Sailor Moon saw me, and grinned smugly. "I see that you turned evil, Serena. Well, I'm taking over, and you're not getting Darien back!" That was the last straw. No one takes my Darien! I grabbed my butcher knife, threw it at Raye, and missed. Grrr! I reached for my forhead, but there was no tiara. I reached for my chest, but no brooch. I wasn't Sailor Moon anymore. I wasn't Darien's anymore. I had one weapon left. "WAAAGH!! >sniff< WAAAGH!! I want Darien back!!" I sobbed. My tears flooded the room. My monster locked the doors. I filled the room with my tears, hoping to drown Raye, and everyone else! I teleported myself outside. I watched as underwater, Tuxedo Mask saved Raye, broke through the glass doors, and her home. NO! This couldn't be happening! I stomped home and cried on my bed. IT WASN'T FAIR! The rest of my life would be a horror movie! Rini walked into my room. "I heard about Darien," She told me. 'Poor Rini,' I thought, 'She liked having Darien as her Dad,' I tucked Rini in my bed, and went to the Computer Room. Melvin was on the Internet. "You're a horrible husband! You're ugly, cheap, and you spend all you're time online looking at women--WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED!" I screamed, knocking over his precious computer, "I'm keeping this house, and we're all gonna vote someone out! I vote YOU!" Melvin took his computer, and moved out. "Stay here, Hercules. I'm gonna find Darien, and fix things up around here!" I said boldly, marched out the door. I rode Melvin's bike to Darien's apartment, and rang the doorbell. Darien answered. "Darien, we need to talk," I stepped inside. Darien blocked the hallway. I noticed that his shirt was halfway unbuttoned. "Uh, I have company over," He said, pushing me out of the apartment. I pushed back, and ran to his bedroom. I found Raye under his covers, blushing. I turned around, and slapped Darien's face. He covered his cheek. "What was that for, Serena?!" Darien asked. I kicked Raye off the bed. She grabbed the sheet to cover herself, then gathered up her clothes and ran out of the room. "Rini misses you. Why'd you leave me?" I asked Darien. He glared at me. "Why'd you marry Melvin, and turn evil?" Darien revealed the red mark on his cheek. "I didn't want to!" I explained. "Then why did you?" "Because...I can't say," "You don't make sense," "I left Melvin!" "You did" "Yes," "Well..." "Come back for Rini," "Okay, I'll take Rini," "And you'll dump Raye," ">sigh< I'll dump Raye," "And you'll think about starting over with me!" "Maybe," "No, you're supposed to say 'Yes'," "I said 'maybe'," "Yes!" "Do you want a 'maybe' or a 'no'?" "I'll take 'maybe'," "All right, goodbye, I'll come to your place for Rini," "Okay, see ya!" "See ya," YES!! I might get Darien back! He's dumping Raye! I walked out. If only I was Sailor Moon, this would be perfect. But I can't. The job's been taken. Raye (fully dressed) stopped me. "Thanks a lot, Geekoid, for stealing Darien!" she screamed. I laughed. As if she ever had a chance with Darien! "He wasn't even yours," I reminded her. "Yes he was!" she argued. "What were you two doing anyway?" "Not tellin'," "Fine," "Fine!" "FINE!" "FINE!!" "Get out of my way, Raye!" I biked on. I had to fix this life up, and maybe I'd get out. Maybe this whole thing was just a test, a test of Darien's and my relationship. We will pass with flying colors! Nothing can stand in our way, not even Raye naked in bed! Darien and I were meant for each other! Or--maybe this isn't a test, but real! Uh-oh. Maybe I'm being Moon mashed by a silly game! Oh no! I headed home. Darien would come any minute now! And the house--er, mansion was a MESS! "Rini! Wake up! Darien's taking you to his place!" I called. Rini darted into the kitchen with her little sailor outfit on. She skipped around the room, while I did the chores. I decided to quit my evil job, and take my place back as Sailor Moon! 'Raye will be the evil general, and she won't stand a chance with Darien! Darien and I will be married, with Rini as our daughter, and Luna will be our cat again!' I daydreamed. Ding Dong. There's the doorbell! I opened the door, and there stood--MELVIN?! Melvin was on one knee, and proposing to me--again! I kicked him off the porch. Melvin didn't care. "Oh beautiful Serena, may I take your hand in marriage?" he pleaded. I slammed the door in his face. "No, Melvin! I'm waiting for Darien! He'll marry me! I love him more! You're a geek. Go marry Raye or something!" I yelled impatiently. Suddenly, I heard Darien's voice, and opened the door again. I saw Melvin beating on him! "Serena's mine! Mine! Mine, I tell ya!" Melvin said, punching between words. Darien tried to escape, but it started raining. I pushed Melvin onto the driveway. "Buzz off, you two-timin', low lived moron!--Darien, come in," Darien entered the mansion. I locked the door. Rini ran to Darien. "Please marry Mommy! I don't want Melvin for a daddy! I want you!" Rini begged. Darien looked seriously at me , then looked into Rini's pleading eyes. "If she becomes Sailor Moon again, I will," Darien carried Rini to his car. I biked to Beryl Headquarters and ran in. "I QUIT!!" I screamed, and hurried to Mina's house. I knew that they were having a party there. I opened the door. "Move over, Raye! I'm Sailor Moon now!" I announced. Raye growled, and handed me the brooch. I ran all the way to Darien's apartment, leaving Melvin's stupid bike behind. As I ran, I transformed into Sailor Moon. It felt great! I knocked on Darien's door. He answered it. Darien took one look at me, and smiled. Luna came out, and gasped. Rini gave Darien and me a big hug. I was right all along. My life would be perfect. No longer was I moon-mashed, until Queen Beryl entered the room. "Now I have Sailor Moon right where I want her. Where are your Scouts? Locked up? Ohhh yes," Beryl snapped her fingers, and showed me the Sailor Scouts inside a cage. "All you have to do is guess my TRUE identity, and your Scouts are freed, and we'll fight as usual. If you can't, you'll have to fight me yourself, or give up being Sailor Moon and work for me!" I couldn't do it! No one knows Queen Beryl's identity but her! I wished that I could've taken out my brain and searched in there! Artemis came up to me. Maybe he knew! "Remember that night when you were playing M.A.S.H.? What did you have?" he asked me. "Uh...I had Melvin, Rini, my job was Beryl's General, my boss was Andrew's dad...AHA! Beryl must be Andrew's dad!" I remembered! Just as she promised, Beryl freed the Scouts. Mars combined all of her attacks with Mercury's. They combined all of Venus' attacks with Jupiter's. I combined the two powers with all my attacks, and called the Outer Scouts. I asked for their powers as well. The Outer Scouts appeared, and mixed in their attacks too. "This had better work," Neptune said in a harsh voice. I shot the power at Beryl. Slowly, Beryl disappeared into the light. It all mixed together, hardened, and turned into a crystal. Luna grabbed it. "It's a third Silver Imperium Crystal!" Sailor Pluto cried. Luna gave it to me. "Who owns this one?" I asked. A light still glittered in the middle of the room. A little boy stepped out. He looked like Darien as a child. He had silvery hair, and wore a cape. "Who are you?" Darien asked in surprise. The little boy stepped toward everyone. "I am the future prince of Earth Chibi Mamoru, your future son. The Crystal belongs to me. Can I touch it?" Chibi Mamoru stepped forward, but ended up right in front of the third crystal. He touched it once, and the entire crystal turned to gold. "Are you going to stay with us?" Artemis asked. Chibi Mamoru began to fade. "No. In the future, on Rini's 1000th birthday, she will become like a sixteen-year- old, and I will appear. Goodbye, my friends. Until the 30th century, your lives will be peaceful--Darien, Serena, stay together, never let go," Chibi Mamoru and the third Imperium Crystal disappeared. The room became quiet. I didn't wake up. The whole thing was a test. Our lives got mixed up, to see if Darien and I would stay together, and we passed with flying colors. The End--for now! |