| Part Four: The Twist Sakuya: That Sasami! She almost caught us! Well, at least she’s just a stupid maid; she won’t tell on us, she knows her place! Tenchi: I wouldn’t be so sure... she may be smarter than we think. ............................................................................................................................ (Sasami is in another room. She dials 911 on a phone) Sasami: (whispering) Polisu! Polisu! (pauses) Hai, I can speak English! I would like to report an attempted murder... ...................................................................................................................................................... (Ryoko is sleeping in her hospital room. She gets up.) Ryoko: Where am I? (looks around) Well, hello everyone, you’re such a beautiful audience, and because of that, I’m going to this special song just for you! (breaks out singing “I Will Always Love You”) (Tenchi enters) Tenchi: (shaking her) You are not Whitney Houston! Ryoko: (changing “character”) WHERE’S MY BABY?!? Tenchi: You don’t have a baby. Ryoko: Of course I do! GIVE ME MY BABY!! (Tenchi snaps his fingers, and Ryoko drops her head in hypnotic sleep) Ryoko: (in zombielike voice)Yeeeees Maaaaaaasteeerrrrrr.... Tenchi: Oh wow, it worked! Um, you are um, uh, just go to bed! (Ryoko obeys) ...................................................................................................................................................... (Sakuya enters Ayeka’s room, and starts adjusting her life support systems. Sasami peeks in, disappears for a moment, then comes back with Mihoshi and Kiyone dressed as nurses) Mihoshi: Are you the Doctor? Sakuya: What?? Oh, Nurse... uh... Mihoshi: Mihoshi! (Flashes a victory sign. Kiyone nudges her to stop.) Kiyone: And Kiyone. What are you doing? Sakuya: Nothing, just checking up on her condition. Mihoshi: I thought that’s what the machines are for... Sakuya: Well, yes, but... Kiyone: But what Ma’am? (Gives her a suspicious look) Sakuya: Sasami, could you leave? Sasami: Hai, Sakuya-sama... Kiyone: No, Sasami, please stay. Sakuya: (annoyed) Why should she stay? Kiyone: Sakuya, you are under arrest for Attempted Murder! (Puts handcuffs on Sakuya's wrists) Mihoshi: Hey! Wait a minute, Kiyone! I thought I was going to arrest the criminal this time! I had the handcuffs ready and everything!! Kiyone: If I had let you arrest her, you would've somehow screwed it up just like you always do! Mihoshi: What's that supposed to mean?! (Tenchi enters with Ryoko) Tenchi: What’s going on? Kiyone: Sakuya is our prime suspect in this case. I’m arresting her. Mihoshi: Well, I was supposed to, but-- Tenchi: WHAT CASE? Who do you two think you are anyway, some kind of detectives? Kiyone: Actually, we are. (She and Mihoshi show them their ID badges) Kiyone and Mihoshi: Undercover Detectives Kiyone and Mihoshi, at your service!! Sakuya: How long will this be? Mihoshi: (scratching her head) Um, actually, we aren’t sure yet. Sakuya: I’m going to take Sasami with me then! Sasami: Gomen nasai, Sakuya-sama, I cannot. Sakuya: Why? Kiyone: She hasn’t committed any crime. Tenchi: Oh, yeah. That’s true. (Ayeka wakes up and gets out of bed) Ayeka: What happened? Where am I? Tenchi: (disappointed) Oh. Ayeka, you’re awake. Kiyone: Sakuya, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be used against you in court. (leaves with Mihoshi and Sakuya) Tenchi: Sakuya! Ayeka: (shocked) Tenchi! Tenchi: Oh yes, you. Sasami: Don’t you care about your fiancee? Tenchi: W-Well...uh..... Ayeka: Could someone just tell me what’s going on? Tenchi: Sakuya got arrested for attempted murder. Ayeka: Of who? Tenchi: You really are a baka, aren’t you? She was going to kill you and Ryoko, that’s who! I should be the one arrested, not Sakuya. She’s innocent. Sasami: No she’s not! You are both guilty, I saw everything! I’m the one who called that detective to come arrest Sakuya. Tenchi: Well, then why did she only arrest Sakuya? Sasami: I’ve always hated Sakuya. This was the perfect revenge. Besides, I know you really wanted to marry Sakuya. I’ve seen you two together. That’s why you wanted to kill Ayeka. I decided to keep you separated for the rest of your miserable lives! Ayeka: I don’t understand... Tenchi: Don’t you get it? I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE! But I can’t kill you now. There’s no point to that. (he picks up an empty syringe) Ryoko: Where’s my baby? Tenchi: SHUT UP! And now, the true love of my life is arrested. So since we can’t all be killed... (He is about to inject the air filled needle into his veins, when they hear a woman's voice from above) Voice: There! It's all fixed. I'd better bring them back now. Another Voice: Meow! (Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Sasami, Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Sakuya are sucked back into the energy cyclone, and arrive back in Washu's lab, back to their original selves.) Sakuya: W-What just happened? Mihoshi: I don't know, but all of a sudden I've got this strange urge to watch a detective movie. Ayeka: Not right now, I'm missing my soap operas!! Ryoko: For some reason, I think we've had more than enough soap operas for today... Washu: Boy, it's a good thing I got you guys back when I did. Tenchi almost committed suicide! Tenchi: I did?!?!? Ryo-ohki: (sweat dropping) Meoooww... **The End** |