INTO THE WOODS

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer... you know, it was so short I nearly missed it.  Anyway, previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer 1) Riley thinks Buffy doesn't love him, 2) Spike thinks he loves Buffy, 3) Riley is acting as a mobile blood bank, 4) Joyce has a brain tumour.  That's it for the previouslies.

Currently on Buffy the Vampire Slayer?  Well, it's been two weeks for us and a couple of hours for the core Scooby Gang still waiting in the hospital waiting room.  At least, I hope it hasn't been two weeks for them.  The brain surgeon arrives just in time for the credit/commercial break.

Guess they'll be changing the credits next week.

Anyhoo... the surgeon tells them that they were able to scoop out Mr. Tumour and Joyce should be fine barring any complications such as, I guess, infection or inadvertent frontal lobotomy or anything like that.  In celebration Dawn gets to go to Xander and Anya's for the night and Buffy and Riley get to have sex.  Okay, first they (Buffy and Riley) have slow dancing and candles but we all know they dumped the kid in order to make out.  Heck, even the kid knows that.  They also manage to have a semi sensitive chat  where Buffy puts yet another nail into the relationship coffin by admitting that she had finally broken down but had done so when Riley wasn't around.  Because, as Riley and we all know, Buffy doesn't need Riley.

We now cut to a "as graphic as you can get" scene with Riley and Buffy.  Spike, sadistic voyeur that he is, is again posted Romeo like below watching lights break.  Thus he's in a perfect position to see Riley skulk off and follow him.

Next day at the hospital Buffy is helping Joyce try on wigs.  Why, I don't know as they managed to do brain surgery where the only sign is a two inch square gauze patch.  Anyway, Joyce is concerned that Buffy (by spending time with her) is ignoring her friends, Riley or her duties but Buffy assures her that this is Buffy/mom time.  Late that night Spike arrives at Buffy's bedroom.  After a little bit of leering (Spike) and a little bit of threatening (Buffy) Spike leads Buffy to the vamp dump where he takes her directly to where Riley is getting sucked on by some vamp chick.  Buffy leaves.  Spike leaves.  Riley leaves.

At Riley's place are two of the new commandos who offer him a spot on the team.  They assure him that they aren't like the old Initiative, there mandate is to simply kill all hostile demons and to heck with studying them.  If he wants in he's to be at the helipad at midnight.

Next morning Buffy arrives at the Magic Box mad as hell.  She gets madder when she finds out that both Giles and Anya knew about the vamp crack houses although neither knew there was one operating in Sunnydale.  Buffy, Willow and Xander weapon up to do damage but find the place deserted.  In a fit of pique Buffy torches the place.

Meanwhile, back at the crypt, Riley arrives and psuedo-stakes Spike.  They have a heart to heart where Spike confirms all of Riley's fears that Buffy can't love Riley because he isn't "something" enough.  Whether this is a dark side, an angst ridden soul, dangerous nature or some combination isn't determined.  But, whatever it is, Riley doesn't have it.  Riley goes to the Magic Box and confronts Buffy.

To summarize, angry words are spoken.  Words are misunderstood or twisted.  Fears and confusion are expressed.  And two ultimatums are given.

Buffy leaves and is jumped by about a half-score of vamps.  They're very upset that she burned their house down.  Buffy goes completely feral on them and destroys them all with brutal efficiency.  The First Slayer would have been proud.

Xander isn't.  He emerges from the shadows and lays into Buffy.  He doesn't spare her anything.  He accuses her of treating Riley like he was the rebound guy.  Of building an emotional wall when Angel left and letting no one through it.  He tells her that she's been taking Riley for granted- taking from him what she needs when she needs it and discarding him when she doesn't.  (premature Random Note here.  She treated him like she treated Faith in the first half of season three.)  Xander tells her that Buffy needs to decide this now.  Buffy thinks and then runs off.

We all know how this is going to end.  We have some split scenes of Buffy running and Riley clock watching while a helicopter warms up behind him.  At midnight the helicopter bearing Riley lifts off with him staring stoically ahead so that he doesn't see or hear Buffy as she finally makes the clearing.

Cutaway to Anya's house where Xander spells out exactly how he feels for Anya and how important she is to him.  And then back to a last scene of Buffy collapsing on her stairs, looking lost, with the superimposed image of Riley flying off.

Random Quotes

Dawn: It's okay. You guys don't have to make a big deal for me. I'm only sleeping over here so Buffy and Riley can boink. " 
Xander: No, that's not, that's not it at all, they just need time to, uh... be tender. Relax.
Anya: (to Dawn) Not very convincing is he?
Dawn: 'Alone time' always translates into 'get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud obnoxious sex.'
Anya: Oh.  (to Xander) Does that mean we can't?

Buffy: Every time you show up like this, you risk all of your parts, you know that?
Spike: I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason. As usual, I'm here to help you, and I - are you naked under there?
Buffy: Get out.
Spike: No, I'm serious. I mean, not about the naked part, I mean... 
Buffy: Get out or I will drop you out head-first.
Spike: I wanna show you something.  
Buffy: What?
Spike: You need to see this.

Giles: And so it begins. No longer a victim of crass holiday commercialization, I'm... a
purveyor of it.

Spike: I had this chip outta my head, I'da killed you long ago. Ain't love grand? Sometimes I envy you so much it chokes me. And sometimes I think I got the better deal. To be that close to her and not have her. To be all alone even when you're holding her. Feeling her, feeling her beneath you. Surrounding you. The scent... No, you got the better deal.
Riley: I'm the lucky guy. Yeah. I'm the guy.

Xander: I've gotta say something... 'Cause ... I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do... the way you think... the way you move... I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know.

Random Notes:

Written by Marti Noxon who's written about 15 episodes.  It's her first time with the jophurs and megaphone.

Well, I forwent (is that a word?) saying "I told you so" to my kid and shall attempt to do so again but really, the only people not to have seen the end of the Buffy/Riley relationship are the same people who didn't see the beginning of the Willow/Tara relationship.

I tested as Xander on a "which Scooby are you" test and you know, that doesn't bother me a bit after tonight's show.

The title of the episode confused me until Buffy told Riley that her mom was "out of the woods."  Now, the phrase 'out of the woods' still confuses me at least 'into the woods' makes relative sense.  Doesn't bode well for the Buffster, but it makes sense.

Apparently Buffy isn't a cuddler.

Okay, usually plot holes are not my forte but....  Riley says "Transport is leaving tonight" to Buffy and she mystically knows that the transport is a helicopter and Xander mystically knows that it leaves at midnight?

Speaking of which... has Buffy never heard of a phone?  I mean, this woman should be carrying a cell phone at all times so that she can call taxis, call friends with fast red cars for emergency rides to helipads, call friends to delay boyfriend's helicopters, phone boyfriends directly.  I mean, the list is endless. 

Angel Notes: