INTERVENTION
Episode 95, #17 of Season 5

Previously on Buffy… you know the story – Dawn’s the key, Joyce is dead and some guy can build robot girls.

Now on Buffy the Vampire Slayer the two Summers girls and Giles are clearing the table after enjoying an authentic, home cooked British meal. Giles suggest that Buffy get back to the slayin’ ‘n’ trainin’ but Buffy is worried that all this focus on becoming a better Slayer is making her a worse human. Giles suggests that Buffy under go the equivalent of a Slayer Vision Quest and, after Dawn assures her that she’ll be safe hanging with the Scoobies, Buffy agrees to try.

Meanwhile, across town, Spike takes possession of the Buffy-bot.

We return from the credits to listen to Glory complain about how she’s running out of time and all are against her so she sends the scaly ones out to spy on the Slayer to see if they can find out who the key is. Buffy and Giles head out to the desert so that Giles can perform a spell that transfers his guardianship of Buffy to a mystical guide. And, in scenes far to disturbing to relate in detail (or even watch in some cases) Spike plays with his new toy.

Okay, plot A first. Tara sets up a warning/warding spell around Xander’s apartment because Dawn is going to spend the night there. Dawn lifts a pair of Anya’s earrings while one of Glory’s minions spies on them. Xander and Anya go on patrol where they encounter Spike and (they assume) Buffy. Spike tries to act normally, Buffy-bot tries to act like the girlfriend and Xander and Anya go hmmmm. After dusting some vamps the two couples split up but Xander and Anya circle back in time to see Spike and (they assume) Buffy … ahem … behind a grave stone. Xander and Anya head home to discuss this with Willow and Tara. All agree that this is too weird and they need to talk to Buffy. Fast.

Xander goes to the crypt to talk some sense into Buffy but finds only Spike. While trying to reason with Spike the Minions burst in, knock out Xander and kidnap Spike. The Buffy-bot goes to the gang to get their help in rescuing Spike. Xander comes to and joins them. Leaving Tara to guard Dawn they head to Buffy’s house to armour up.

But wait, you say, this show is called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, what about the chick with the stake? Back in the desert with the B plot Buffy and Giles just wait. A large cat leads Buffy to the area of the desert that she (and we) saw in the dreamscape that was Restless. Darkness falls and the First Slayer appears. As all dream image, vision quest, spirit guides this one is a bit cryptic. The guide assures Buffy that she is not lacking in love – rather the opposite. Buffy is just full to the brim with love and this love will bring Buffy her gift. However, Buffy is less than enthused to find out that her gift is death. What this means though is that Buffy is through so she and Giles can return to Sunnydale in time to do the French farce thing.

With, thank god, no “in one door and out the other” routine Buffy quickly figures out what is happening although she is a bit ticked that the Scoobies didn’t figure out that it was a robot. They decide that their top priority is getting Spike, dead or ash, before he tells Glory that Dawn is the Key. They start their search in the area that Buffy went all Princess Leia on the Hutt-wannabe. Spike (and apparently it’s his turn to be tortured this season) has resisted telling Glory who the Key is and, to top it off, managed to escape. The Scoobies arrive at Glory’s building just in time to stop the Minions from retaking Spike. Mayhem and slaying ensues until the Buffy-bot gets damaged, the Minions retreat and our guys are victorious.

During the recap scene we find out that Willow thinks she can fix the robot and that Spike was so badly beaten that even Xander feels sorry for him. We cut to the crypt where Spike is laying down. A very perky, too perky in fact, Buffy comes in and, after offering to be ravished, asks why Spike didn’t tell Glory and save himself a world of hurt. Spike says because losing Dawn would destroy Buffy and he’d die before that happened. The perky Buffy kisses Spike and he susses that it’s the real girl. Buffy tells him that his robot is gone but that she won’t forget what he’d done for her and Dawn.

Fade to two black eyes.

Fade to black.

Random Quotes

TARA: Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I did some pretty dumb stuff, like lying to my family and staying out all night.
ANYA: Buffy's boinking Spike.
WILLOW: oh... well, Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge--
TARA: What, are you kidding? She's nuts.

BUFFY: A guide, but no food or water? So it leads me to a sacred place, and then, a week later, it leads you to my bleached bones?
GILES: Buffy, please. It takes more than a week to bleach bones.
BUFFY: So, how's it start?
GILES: I, uh... Jump out of the circle, then I jump back in it, and then, um... I shake my gourd.
BUFFY: I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey-pokey and turn themselves around. Go, quest.
GILES: [sheepishly jumps out of the circle, jumps into circle and shakes the gourd]
BUFFY: [sighs] And that's what it's all about.

WILLOW: -BEST FRIEND -GAY (1999-PRESENT) -WITCH -GOOD WITH COMPUTERS

XANDER: -FRIEND -CARPENTER -DATES ANYA

ANYA: -DATES XANDER -LIKES MONEY -EX-DEMON

SPIKE: … I'm not a monster.
XANDER: Yes, you are a monster. Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them.
SPIKE: Well, yeah, you got me there.

WILLOW: This shouldn't be about blame.
BUFFY: Blame? There's blame now?
WILLOW: No. There's only love. And some fear. Which is kinda thrown by the you having sex with Spike.
BUFFY: The who whating how with huh?
ANYA: Ok, that's denial. That usually comes before anger.
BUFFY: I'm not having sex with Spike!
ANYA: Anger.
XANDER: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact, but well-muscled.
BUFFY: I am not having sex with Spike, but I'm starting to think that you might be.

SPIKE: Yeah, ok. The key. Here's the thing... It's that guy...on tv. What's his name... On the television? That show... The price show... Where they guess what stuff cost.
MINIONS: The Price Is Right? Oh, Bob Barker. We will bring you Bob Barker. We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker.

BUFFY: Don't. That thing-- it wasn't even real. What you did for me and Dawn-- that was real. I won't forget it.

FIRST SLAYER: (snipped a bit) You think you're losing your ability to love. You're afraid that being the Slayer means losing your humanity. You are full of love. You love with all of your soul. It's brighter than the fire... Blinding... That's why you pull away from it. Love is pain, and the Slayer forges strength from pain. Love... Give... Forgive. Risk the pain. It is your nature. Love will bring you to your gift. Death is your gift. Your question has been answered.

Random Notes:
Okay, I was wrong. Everyone knows that Tara’s mom is dead. Which makes her “I don’t know how you feel” that much better.

Speaking of Tara. She can tell that Faith is in Buffy’s body by the aura but she can’t tell that Buffy is a robot? Does that mean that robots have auras or that someone wasn’t paying attention to last season’s Who Are You? Granted, she didn’t have much one on one time with Buffy this time.

But Spike can tell the difference after one little kiss.

It took, what nine episodes to figure out that Glory could be found by searching the area that the snake thing was heading? Guess that’s why Angel has the detective agency and the Scoobies don’t.

With the “hobbits with leprosy” and the reference to “preciousss” you’d think someone is waiting for The Lord of the Rings.

Speaking of hobbits, Spike was able to whale on them pretty hard so I guess they’re not human.

Xander’s theoretical appreciation of Spike was very reminiscent of the Doyle explanation of Angel’s attraction. Even to the raised eyebrow by the girls in the scenes.

I really don’t need to see Joyce dead on the couch anymore. It’s getting to be like the Willow/Spike impotence scene that they overused last season.

Buffy didn’t say that the robot was destroyed, only that it was gone. Gone could mean almost anything. And, you know, a fake Buffy could come in handy. After all Superman had a whole bunch of robots and Krypton cousins that he could use to maintain his secret identity.

And, if they do have a Buffy-bot stuck in a closet somewhere, is it naked because Buffy took its clothes?

Angel Notes:
First reason is Charisma Carpenter’s portrayal of Cordelia. I’m not sure where they’re going with the character but it is an extremely well acted and painful journey.

Second reason is to hear Lindsey sing. Apparently only the bad guys and Giles can sing well.

Third reason is to see Angel’s smile when Cordy tells him she loves him. You can hear the “ahhhhhh” of Angel/Cordy ‘shippers if you listen hard enough.