| Masculine/Feminine |
| For a man, his feminine side is his co-pilot. She will read the maps and help point the way. She will do it by dialoging with him. She can be his muse, his spiritual guide. She can keep him grounded. She helps him see the beauty around him, feel his feelings and be sensitive to the feelings of others. |
| However, if a man allows his feminine side to dominate him, if he allows her to "drive the car", she can destroy him and his relationships. A man who is dominated by his feminine will be whiney, moody, snivelly. He will be prone to pick fights over imagined insults. |
| For a woman, her masculine side is her co-pilot. He will read the maps and help point the way. He will do it by dialoging with her. He can be her guide, he can help her climb mountains. He can be a source of strength and support. |
| But he must be an internal ally. If a woman allows her masculine side to dominate her, he can destroy her. A woman dominated by her masculine will be very opinionated. She will be argumentative and be illogically logical. There is no reasoning with her! |
| Men and women can also have a negative internal opposite. |
| So how do we recognize our masculine/feminine side? Initially, we do so by projecting them onto those around us. A man’s feminine is projected onto women. A woman’s masculine is projected onto men. |
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Like all projections, these are unconscious and must be brought into consciousness and acknowledged as parts of ourselves. |
| An easy way to find our unconscious masculine/feminine is through our dreams. Record your dreams. When you read them later, look at the dream characters of the opposite sex. Who are they, what is their relationship to you, what are they like, what are their strengths and weaknesses? Who in the dream would you most like to have as part of your life? This person is already a part of you! Sit quietly and allow their image to come to you. Feel it flow into you. Accept it as part of you. |
| A big problem in relationships occurs when we allow the negative feminine and negative masculine to interact. When your partner is extra bossy or moody, you may be interacting with their unconscious feminine or masculine side. The unconscious of one invariably "pulls" for the unconscious of the other. Soon the two negatives are controlling the relationship and the conscious individuals wonder what happened. |
| What do you do? The first thing NOT to do is tell your partner that their negative feminine/masculine side is showing. It doesn’t work and usually makes the situation worse. Instead— take a few slow deep breaths, allow yourself to get centered. Pull your own negative side back in. Then suggest continuing the conversation at another time. |
| A man may hear his feminine luring him from his true calling; she can "put him down" with derogatory messages. Carl Jung talked about this in Memories, Dreams, Reflections. His negative feminine was devaluing his work. |
| A woman can have an internal masculine who belittles her, who fills her head with all the things she "should" do and diverts her from her path. |
| A man may see a woman as a saint or a sinner, a madonna or a prostitute. This results from projecting "the feminine archetype" onto women. So long as the projection remains, he will see women as "all good" or "all bad." He will never be able to form healthy relationships or be psychologically whole. |
| A woman may project "the knight in shining armor", or "the rebel" onto a man. She may see men as "protector" or "villain". This will not only interfere with her relationships but will keep her from developing her own strengths. |
| When we start to doubt ourselves, when we tell ourselves we should be doing more when we know we are doing all we can, that is the time to ask, "Who is talking? Is the message supportive or destructive?" |
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| Each of us has a masculine and a feminine side. (I am not talking about sexuality or sexual preference here.) Everyone needs both sides to be emotionally complete. If you are male, your masculine side should be dominant. If you are female, your feminine side should be dominant. By dominant I mean the part of your personality that interacts with others. |
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| Dr.Maggie |