Falling is like this
Author: Rihannsu
Rating: PGish
Catagory: DSR
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Feedback: maximana@yahoo.com
Spoilers: Nope.
Archive: Please ask. I'll say yes.
Author's notes: My entry for the SHODDS First Kiss Challenge.
"We can't fight gravity on a planet that insists
that love is like falling
and falling is like this."
- Ani DiFranco, "Falling is Like this"
*****
"Agent Scully? What are you doing here?"
Good question, she thought, and looked up to see her once and future
partner entering the basement office. Being Saturday, Doggett,
like
the few other agents roaming the halls of the Hoover building, was
dressed down. Way down. His jeans had obviously spent many
years
making the regular acquaintance of a washing machine, leaving them
appealingly tight in all the right places, but loose enough to make
undressing him with one's eyes an Olympic sport.
Not that she was interested in competing in said sport, she told
herself. Although the discrete gold check in his blue shirt did
intriguing things to his blue eyes . . .
She pulled her wandering thoughts back to focus on Doggett's
continuing questions.
"Don't you have another week of leave?"
"My mother took Will for the day," she said. "She ordered me out
of
the house and told me to have a day to myself."
Doggett's keen eyes did a circuit of the office. "I don't think
this
is what she had in mind," he observed dryly.
Scully shrugged and shifted some files on her desk. Monica Reyes'
filing system seemed to constitute mostly of piling papers until they
began to topple and then starting a new pile. After a few moments
of
silence, she looked up to find Doggett still patiently waiting for
a
response. His eyes clearly told her he had her number and wasn't
going to be put off.
"I couldn't think of anywhere else to go, all right," she said
defensively. "And I can't just come back here in a week not knowing
what you and Monica have been doing, can I?"
"No, ma'am," he said so solemnly that she briefly considered hurling
a
file folder at him, but she didn't have the heart to add to the
mess. Besides, the aerodynamics of your average file folder didn't
make for a
satisfactory projectile.
"You might want to look in the recent case file," he said and took a
seat at his own desk. "That stuff on Monica's desk is . . . to
be
honest, I'm not entirely sure what that stuff is. I've been putting
the new stuff in that first cabinet."
Scully restacked the folders in what she hoped was a decent
approximation of their previous state. She went to the cabinet
Doggett had indicated and started pulling open drawers.
"I don't see them," she said and inwardly winced at her snappish
tone. She was as conflicted about returning to work as she had
been
about leaving. Three months ago she'd felt like a deserter leaving
the X-files in Doggett's hands. Now, she felt like a bad mother
leaving Will in her mother's hands so often. She had felt guilty
about leaving Doggett without a partner or even worse with the
enthusiastic but underqualified Agent Harrison. Now, she felt
uneasy
about this proposed triumvirate.
Doggett and Reyes had an easy and long-standing friendship that made
her feel as much of a third-wheel as Doggett must have felt when he
was first assigned to the X-files. It didn't help that while
she
liked Monica very much, she had more territory issues than an alpha
wolf bitch. The X-files were hers now. After a year of
working
together, Doggett was hers. And she had never been very good
at
sharing.
She slammed the drawer shut in irritation over her thoughts and
looked up to find Doggett had come over to help her.
"This one," he said pulling out another drawer. It was empty.
They
both peered into the empty drawer in consternation.
"Monica must have been rearranging," he said sheepishly and pulled
open another drawer. It, too, was empty but for a scrap of paper
caught at the back of the drawer.
"Huh, wonder what that is?" He asked half to himself and fished
around in the back of the cabinet. "Ah, heck. See if you can
reach
that, will ya? Your hands are smaller than mine."
Scully's hand joined his in the drawer. But with both of them
huddled over the drawer, they were blocking the light with their
heads. On her first attempt, she rammed her knuckles into the
side of
the drawer.
"Sorry," he murmured. They were standing so close his words ruffled
her hair.
She made what was intended to be a 'don't worry about it' noise in
her throat, but couldn't come up with a more coherent reply.
If she
leaned forward, she could rest her forehead against the strong line
of
his jaw. If she moved her right hand a few inches from the front
of
the cabinet she could wrap her hand around his bicep. If she moved
her right foot a step forward, the inside of her knee would rest
against the outside of his thigh. She wanted to do all three.
And there, there was the crux of her territory issues and at least
half of her conflicting emotions. She didn't consider John hers
because of their work. He was just hers. There were a thousand
other problems and conflicts and difficulties in her life. All
of them should
take precedence over this. But when she was around him, she couldn't
think of one. She thought about the line of his jaw and the span
of
his bicep and the quiet comfort of his presence which she never
seemed to get enough of.
Steadfastly ignoring the rising temperature in the room, she reached
back into the drawer and ran her hand down his arm, using it as a
guide to find her way to the back of the cabinet. It was a gesture
born of simple practicality and a wish not to bruise her hand any
further, but this, she thought, this was a bad idea. The soft
flannel of his shirt slid across her palm like a caress. And
underneath, there was the barest impression of long bones and hard
muscles that felt like a boulder warmed by the sun.
As bad as that was, it only got worse as her hand reached the bare
skin of his wrist. This was no gentle heat, but rather a leaping
fire, a raging inferno. Her fingertips paused briefly on the
back of
his wrist. The skin was softer than she expected. She wanted
to
measure the distance between his radius and ulna with a fingertip,
but she knew the gesture was more of a caress than an investigation.
She forced her self to move on, only to linger over the small ridges
and valleys of his carpals. If she was a practicing doctor, she
could
press harder and count the bones, pretend she had a good reason for
the gesture. Instead, she traced over the long hard lines of
his
metacarpals and phalanges. And now, at last, she was glad she
was
not a clinician. Those dull Latin words were entirely inadequate
for
explaining the graceful architecture and the sublime power in those
lean
digits.
When her hands trailed off the ends of his blunt fingertips, she felt
a loss of warmth, a loss of closeness, a loss that hit her like fist
to the
stomach. She wanted to retreat, splay her small hand over his,
until
its shape imprinted itself on her palm.
But her fingers brushed against that stupid piece of paper, and she
plucked it from its hiding place.
"Got it," she whispered. When she turned her head, he was
staring at her. Looking at her with those burning blue eyes that
she
swore could see through walls, that could see into her soul.
Those
impassive eyes that never told her what made them burn.
Suddenly, the vulnerability of her position hit her, and she jerked
her
hand out of the drawer and whipped her head back. Right into
his.
The back of her skull connected sharply with his nose and cheekbone.
She turned just in time to watch with horror as the impact snapped
his head to the side and into the neighboring file cabinet.
He dropped like a rock.
He ended up in an undignified sprawl at her feat, and the only
consolation she could find was at least he didn't crack his head on
the floor.
"Ow?" It came out like a question, as if he wasn't sure how all
this had happened, but he was sure it hurt.
Blood began trickling half-heartedly from his nose and by the time
she raced to her desk and returned with tissues had turned into a
steady stream.
In her head she could hear her mother's voice. "What did you do
today, honey?"
"Nothing much, groped my partner, broke his nose. Same old. Same old."
She tried to mop up the blood streaming down his face, but he moved
his head at the same time she reached for him. And she jammed a
fingernail into his cheekbone.
"Ow," he said again and took the wad of tissues from her.
"Agent . . . Dana, I don't believe I'm saying this to a woman and
especially not to you. But could you stop touching me for the
next
little while?"
"It's probably not broken," she offered miserably.
"No," he said and experimentally lifted the bloody mass of tissues
away from his face. When the blood flow didn't resume, he pitched
them toward the trash.
"I'm sorry," she said and crouched down next to him and gingerly took
his chin in her hand to look at his pupils. Since they were even
and
responsive to light, she ruled out a concussion, but didn't let go
of
his chin.
"That's all right. It's been at least 20 years since a girl beat
me
up. I kinda miss it," he said with a lopsided grin.
The slight movement made his chin shift under her hand, and his faint
weekend stubble brushed roughly against her fingertips. Their
faces
were so close she could see the tiny brown speck in his left eye that
only made the pale blue more intense. She could see the thin
line of
a scar on his nose and wondered if it was a souvenir from the last
girl who had beat him up. And wondered if she should track down
this
girl and kick her ass.
But mostly, she wondered about the thin arcs of his lips. She
wondered what they felt like, what they tasted like, and what he
would do if she leaned down and found out.
His mouth quirked further into a grin, and she looked up to find his
eyes daring her. She leaned in . . .
. . .And found that his lips were just like the rest of him:
long, lean
and agile. Strong enough to move mountains but tempered with
exactly
the right degree of gentleness.
When she finally raised her head, she found him blushing to the tips
of his adorably peaked ears, but there were lines of tension around
his eyes.
"What's wrong?" She asked uncertainly.
He smiled, but it was half of a wince. "My knee . . . it doesn't
bend that way."
She looked down to find that at some point she had put her hand on
his kneecap for balance and was pressing it down into the concrete
floor.
She moved her hand and dropped her head to his shoulder.
"I think," he said and shuddered as she moved her hand up his thigh.
He caught her wandering hand and laced his fingers with hers.
"That
we should find someplace . . . ah, else. Someplace without filing
cabinets and concrete. And then you can do that." |